《diagnosed》april 30, 2017
Advertisement
sunday
1:36 pm
i think i just had my first-ish suicide attempt? i just friend to choke myself in my mom's car. i've tied a belt around my neck or held my neck in attempt to see if i could handle killing myself but i knew it wasn't my time or place when i did that. in the car just now i felt i could kill myself right then and there.
(im rereading this on nov. 4 of 2018 and i realize how uneducated i was about suicide ahahahha)
i gripped my neck with both hands and squeezed tight. i knew if i killed myself my mom and my sister would finally realize how stupid they've been lately.
but i couldn't do it. i tried maybe 3 or 4 times and none of it worked. i stopped trying. instead i just sat there and continued to cry.
i'm so sick and tired.
maybe if i just hang on for a little bit longer it'll all get better...
who am i kidding. none of this will ever get better. i'm going to suffer my entire life.
i think i've finally realizes i'm actually suicidal.
i don't want to get help. i just want to die. i know that would mean i'm going to live an eternal life in hell but oh fucking well. i'd rather live in a world where i hate everything than know i'm living here with people i know i used to love. and that no matter how much i want to love them and have them love me back, i'm instead going to have to live with them hating me forever and me hating them. i want to die.
i hate my sister.
i don't wish she was dead i wish her a long, awful life full of pain and suffering.
Advertisement
what just happened right now was because of that
bitch.
today had a rough start. but i believed that after church all of this would blow over after the day was done.
of course. as always my faith in the impossible have brought me down just to disappoint me.
this morning my dad and my uncle left for the airport because my dad is going to to the Philippines for a high school reunion and he'll stay there for about a month.
maybe an hour after they left, my overdramatic self entitled disrespecting stupid wreck of a sister had another one of her arguments with my mom.
i don't feel like typing about the whore rn so oops
Advertisement
- In Serial269 Chapters
Wake of the Ravager
On the world of Marconen, your first Break determines the trajectory of your life. Calvin chose magic. Without proper schooling or a mentor, the boy is dragged by the whims of fate across the face of the planet, blending together different schools of magic and powerful abilities to create something new. But there's a deeper secret behind his success. Why was he born an exile from his country? Why is his System so strange, and why does it keep talking to him? And as the march of time continues, something evil grows in power across the ocean. Updates Tuesday through Thursday.
8 313 - In Serial7 Chapters
The Gifted ( +1 Megan )
Have you ever asked yourself why you need to study so hard?Have you ever felt like none of the teachers understand you?Have you ever gotten frustrated by the school's stupid system that never asks you if you want it?Ever wondered why the school is so eager to have talented students, but never cares how we're doing?And for how long do we have to put up with it?Let me tell you the story of a school called Ritdha Wittayakom and a program called........The Gifted.Based off the show The Gifted. You can watch it on YouTube, on the channel GMMTV.I do not own these characters or the plot.
8 104 - In Serial13 Chapters
Strongest Slayer
Suddenly 72 years before portals started opening in this world and Demons and Monster that came out of those portals devastated the earth. Any human weapon was useless against those Demons and Monsters, but luckily humans also started awaken new powers to fight those monster. these humans with special powers were then called THE SLAYERS. In this new world where power was everything, those with no powers were treated as trash. This is the story about a young boy who was born in very powerful family, but got disowned by the family and was even betrayed by the girl he loved because he was powerless. This is the story of Jason who became worlds STRONGEST SLAYER.
8 409 - In Serial11 Chapters
The Awakened
Mark was a data analyst that had recently landed a job in a company and his life was pretty normal if not a bit boring through upon meeting a mugger in an alley his life had a drastic change not neccesarily for the better. He stopped being a sleeper and saw a glimpse of the true form of the world which opened his eyes to a new life altogether. ============================================================================================== This is my first fiction and i am loosely basing this on Mage:The Awakening rulebook. Naturally i am going to change things a bit but i don't intend to make this a novel where the main character goes around changing the whole world. It will be based on a normal guy discovering a new world while trying to find his place in it. Also please write comments warning me about things such as development speed or unrealistic relations.
8 183 - In Serial17 Chapters
Artbook
Falls ihr Lust auf mein Gekritzel habt, dann schaut gerne vorbei. Verbesserungsvorschläge sind selbstverständlich willkommen. ;)
8 174 - In Serial13 Chapters
Haikyuu x Their Future kids
Their future kids accidentally took over their volleyball gc, but then meet in person with the kid's past parents.
8 168
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
