and already losing it

Rue never texted Lulu back. She checked her instagram stories but never once thought it would be a good idea to open her messages and tell Lulu she was busy or something else. After five texts, Lulu stopped trying. She tried not taking it personally but she felt like being stabbed in the back. Because Lulu had always been there for her. She came to visit in rehab and, even before Rue od'ed, she always made sure she was doing okay.

So, when Lulu noticed Rue laughing with the new girl in the school halls, her eyes darkened and she slammed her locker door shut, walking away as quickly as possible. She didn't want the jealousy to settle in but she already knew it was too late.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

good luck w school

i already wanna kill everyone

please dont kill nobody

dont want ya in jail

dont worry i do it in my dreams

cool enough

A few hours later, right before drama class, her phone starting ringing in her pocket. Enolla's name popped up on the screen and she raised an eyebrow curiously. Lulu wasn't used to receive phone calls from her agent during workdays and even less in the morning.

"Hey Eno," Lulu said as she went outside, "What's going on?"

"Hey Lulu, I'm really sorry to bother you," she said, "Especially since I know it's your first day of school but we just had an issue with your mother."

"Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me," Lulu spat loud enough for Enolla to hear, "I'm so sorry, what the hell did she do?"

"She bursted in the agency saying she had the right to have access to your current net worth and latest paychecks," Enolla explained, "I found a way to calm her down and she finally left."

"Come on, that's a joke," Lulu sighed, "I'm so fucking sorry, really I-I'm—"

"It's okay, I'm not mad at you Lulu," Enolla reassured, "I just wanted to warn you... you should be careful, I don't know what's up with your family but try to keep her away from all this."

"I-I know..."

"I've seen many many talented kids be destroyed by their own parents," Enolla said, "I really don't want to see this happening to you. Not with all the potential you have."

Lulu looked around, feeling invaded by both sadness and anger. If she couldn't trust her own mother —who seemed to change more and more each day, then, who could she trust?

"I know it might be hard to hear," Enolla spoke, "But sometimes, to get where you wanna be, you have to do it all alone."

A breath got caught in her throat, "I know..."

"Don't forget that I'm here though," Enolla added, "And that I want the best for you."

Lulu cracked a small smile, "Thank you. Really."

"I really have to get going now," Enolla said, "But if you ever feel lonely, come by my office. I know it's a bit of a long ride, but we'll go out for some coffee. Alright?"

"Yeah, sure thing," Lulu replied, "Thank you for everything, talk to you soon."

After that phone call, Lulu didn't feel like going back to school. I get it, I was currently having a panic attack in the auditorium and, selfishly, and after ignoring Lulu for about a week, all I wanted... was for her to be here for me.

But she had other plans and they didn't include me.

Lulu threw her scooter onto the curb, doing the same thing with her helmet. She was now at the gas station and all she wanted was to drink a goddamn beer. But she knew Fezco wouldn't let her. So, she opened the fridge door and swiftly opened the beer can, swallowing the sour and bubbly liquid very fast before walking up to the counter, as Ashtray raised an eyebrow in surprise, definitely not expecting to see her.

Lulu threw a few bills at Ashtray, "There, bud."

"Why the hell you drinking this early?"

"What about you? Why aren't you in school right now, uh?" Lulu snapped back before walking outside.

"Yo, you being mean today," Ashtray half-shouted.

Lulu shrugged and lit a cigarette, drinking another large gulp of beer before checking out her phone. She had a few texts from Lexi.

where are you?

rue was looking for you before class

fuck

she had a panic attack on stage

she went crazy on me in the bathroom

she isnt clean at all right?

sorry had something to handle

well rue can fuck off

she ignored me all week

no she isnt.....

you sure you're okay???

what happened between you 2

yeah dont worry

i dont know what happened

but she's pissing me off

we'll hang out later this week if you want?

sure i'd love that

"Is that a beer in yo' hand?"

Lulu jumped up in surprise, "Fuck, Fez, you scared the shit out of me."

"Answer me."

Lulu looked at the boy and gulped in fear as she noticed he had a hard look scribbled on his facial features. She didn't know if she found it hotter or scarier, maybe both all equally at the same time but she knew he wouldn't do shit to her so she drank once more, finishing the can right in front of him.

"It was a beer, yeah," Lulu said, trying to act unphased by Fezco's burning eyes on her, "Just finished it."

"You serious right now?" Fezco snapped, "Why the hell would you drink in the mornin'?"

"I was thirsty."

"Bullshit, what's wrong?"

"Nothing you should worry about," Lulu sighed as she grabbed her helmet, "I'll see you later, Fez."

Lulu was now on her scooter, ready to leave that Fezco startled her once more by placing himself in front of the engine.

"I wan' you to talk to me, 'kay?" Fezco said, "I'm worried. Just... next time shit happens, we talk."

"You have enough shit on your plate, I don't want you to waste your time—"

"Waste ma' time? You serious?" Fezco asked, "We're friends. I'm here for ya."

Lulu bit her lip, nodding silently as she found herself getting lost in Fezco's piercing blue eyes. She didn't mean to look —and usually always found a way to stare at him without getting caught, but he faced her and she didn't have anywhere else to look because of her helmet obstructing her vision.

Fezco pretended he didn't feel her staring strongly and stepped to the side, "Just, Lulu... let's hang out when you want, like, yeah... if ya want."

"Sure," she smiled, "I'm always down to hang out."

And she drove off as Fezco looked at her until she disappeared around the corner, not realizing Ashtray was now next to him with a smirk on his face.

"Bro, you so in love."

Fezco snapped his head to look at him, "Shut up, I ain't," and went back inside, leaving Ashtray to chuckle knowingly.

( )

a/n again i'm sorry the tempo is purposely SLOW because i'm trying to show lulu's personality through different situations so i can bring up more about her life in the upcoming chapters so i hope you guys are ready

and i really hope you guys are liking the story so far because i do believe it's HARD to write fezco since he is quite closed off yet super mega soft at the same time like aidjajs it's hard to find balance!