or lulu bottling up her pain

I fucking love Lulu. And seeing her, right there, chilling with Fezco, reminded me how much I had missed her. In a certain weird way, I think we're in love with each other. Like, not the relationship type of love, like we never had sex and shit but I feel like if it ever happened we would grow even closer as best friends? I don't know if it makes sense for others but, really, I don't give a fuck. I love her and I know she loves me too.

So... obviously, the first thing we both wanted to do after not seeing each other for so long was...

Rue ran all the way towards Lulu, who had her arms wide open and a huge grin on her face, and she jumped in her arms, crashing her lips on her best friend's mouth. Lulu kissed her back and it lasted for just a few seconds as Fezco silently watched the scene with a small smile.

"Fuck! Finally," Lulu let out as she kept Rue in her arms, "I swear it was torture without you around."

"I missed you so much," Rue said, "Like, shit! You gotta tell me everything that happened."

"Well... not much," she replied, "I spent most of my time chilling with Fez and the girls."

Rue turned around to look over at Fez, giving him a high five.

"There's some new girl in town that I think you gonna be friends with."

"Who?" Rue asked.

"Shit, I don't know. She came in yesterday lookin' all Sailor Moon and shit. I'm thinking to myself, like, look like somebody Rue would get along with."

Which was sort of like a dead-on observation for Fezco, who's not normally revolving in the same direction as planet Earth.

"So, how long you been back?" he asked.

"Five days."

"And like, how are you feeling?"

"I mean, ever since I gave my life over to my lord and savior Jesus Christ, things have been, like, really good."

Lulu covered her mouth over with her hand, trying not to crack up at Rue's words. She knew the girl was lying, it was a terrible one.

"Word? That's what's up," Fezco said.

Lulu grimaced at the guy, slapping him across the head, causing him to let out a grunt of pain, "Outch, Lulu, the fuck?!"

"You're so dumb," she said as Rue laughed.

"Yeah, I'm fucking with you. It was a joke," Rue added.

"Shit. Hey, I don't judge."

"But low key, is Ashtray in the back?" Rue wondered.

"You serious?"

"What, you think 'cause I went to rehab, I stayed clean?"

"I mean, ain't that the point?"

"Yeah, well, the world's coming to an end, and I haven't even graduated high school yet."

And Rue disappeared inside the store, leaving Fezco and Lulu outside as a weird silence settled in. Lulu pulled out a cigarette from her bag and was quick to light it, biting her bottom lip nervously as she started walking back and forth in front of Fezco.

"Fucking hell, I knew it," she whispered.

She had hoped Rue would come back and be clean. But she also knew the process would take a lot of time and, after all, Rue wasn't self conscious enough yet to make good decisions. And Lulu couldn't judge her, she wasn't necessarily struggling with drugs but she had her fair share of toxic shit to handle. And Lulu was the pro at handling toxic shit by doing toxic shit to cover it up.

"You good?" Fezco asked with a soft voice.

Lulu made eye contact with him and she could sense the tension radiating off of him. He was scared as well.

"I can't have her dying," Lulu said, her voice cracking, "I'd fucking kill myself."

Fezco was about to say something to the girl that Rue walked out of the shop, pulling Lulu closer to her.

"Have any cash for me?" Rue asked, "I'll give it back."

"My mom already takes all the money I make," Lulu sighed, "And I haven't worked for over four months, I'm fucking broke."

Rue looked disappointed for a split second but kissed her cheek and went back inside as Lulu walked all the way next to Fezco. He gazed longingly at the girl standing near him, feeling the pain in her slowly vanishing as she looked at the car pulling up.

Nate Jacobs rolled down the window and winked at Lulu, "Still waiting on the nudes you owe me, Lulu!"

"I don't owe you shit, asshole."

Nate laughed, "You'll be there tonight, right?"

"Yeah but I ain't coming near you," Lulu snapped as Rue walked out.

In truth, I didn't have much of an issue with Nate until all the bullshit with Jules. I mean, I never liked him, and once, during freshman formal, he tried to finger me on the dance floor without my permission. But like... it's America. And if they were throwing an end-of-summer party...

"Yo, I'd do it for Rue!" Nate shouted as the pair of boys drove away.

...of course I'd fucking go.

Lulu exhaled the smoke and crushed the stub in the ashtray near the front door leading to the shop. She walked past Fezco as they high fived, Fezco's fingers lingering in a way to show he was there. He would do that often and Lulu would always notice.

Lulu jumped on her scooter and put the helmet on her head, "I'll pick you up if you want, Rue."

"If I want?" Rue exclaimed, "Hell yes, pick me up like all those guys you lead on for weeks."

"Shut up, I don't do that anymore,"

"Yeah, right," Rue scoffed, "Let's talk about it after the party, uh."

Lulu pulled out her middle finger and turned on the engine, driving away as she mentally cursed herself for hoping Rue would be clean after her rehab.

( )

a/n things are slow so i hope you're fine with that, i hate writing stories where everything happens too quickly. of course i'll spice it up whenever i can but it's not my thing to make everything happen in like 3-4 chapters so be ready for a slow burner