It was Halloween morning, and the gang was all hanging out in the basement yet again. Kelso walked out of the back, looking at the small cardboard donation box in his hands.

"UNICEF's contribution of thirteen cents will feed a child for a month." He read off the back. "Man, living in Africa must be great, everything's so cheap."

"If you ask me, man, UNICEF's a scam." Hyde said, leaning back in his chair.

Izzy sat next to him on the ground, laughing. "If we ask you, everything's a scam."

"Everything is a scam, Izzy Bee."

"Oh, lighten up," Eric said. "Remember how fun Halloween used to be? Wearing costumes, trick-or-treating-"

"What is trick-or-treating?" Fez asked.

"Well," Jackie started, "you put on a costume, go door to door and say 'Trick-or-treat!' and people give you candy."

Fez's jaw dropped. "Oh you have got to be kidding me. They just give you candy?"

"The best part of Halloween is getting the crap scared out of you." Eric said.

Izzy nodded. "Oh my god, yes. One year I saw the Legend of Sleepy Hollow... I couldn't sleep for a month."

Hyde looked at Izzy, his brows knit in confusion. "You are such a fraidy cat."

"Shut up!" She giggled.

"They give you candy?" Fez asked again. "Just like that, no strings?"

"Yes, Fez, get over it." Donna laughed.

"Ooh guys, you know what? My church is doing a haunted house."

"Jackie, I don't think anyone's gonna get scared by a bunch of Episcopalians."

"Unless they have chainsaws!" Kelso gasped. "Let's go see the Texas Chainsaw Massacre!"

Jackie scowled. "Michael, I told you. I don't like Texans!"

"Oh, I know," Eric said. "Why don't we go to Old Main?"

"Our old grammar school?" Donna asked.

"Yeah, sure. Y'know, a dark, burnt-out, boarded-up old school. Very creepy. We could tell ghost stories."

Fez held up a finger. "Free candy? Even if you're not from this country?"

"Yes!" Kelso yelled.

"Hey, how'd that school even burn down?" Izzy asked.

"Uh, they said it was arson." Jackie explained.

Everyone's heads slowly turned to look at Hyde, who rolled his eyes. "What? I was outta town that week."

Izzy narrowed her eyes. "How convenient." Hyde retaliated by picking her up and putting her on his lap, poking her sides, which made her laugh hysterically and hit him playfully. "Stop! Stop, Steven, seriously!"

"So, you're telling me... that if I showed up at someone's house and say 'trick-or-treat,' then they would give me a free piece of candy?"

"Yes, Fez." Eric said.

"Oh I don't believe you."

"Okay, whatever. So are we gonna go to the movies before Old Main?" Kelso asked excitedly.

Donna shrugged. "Yeah, sure."

"Uh, Donna? Wanna get some chips from the kitchen real quick?" Izzy asked, standing up.

"Nah, I'm not in the mood for-"

"Donna!" Donna jumped up and the two girls headed upstairs and into the kitchen, where they were alone.

"Okay, Izzy, what's all this about? You sounded like Jackie down there."

"Nick wants me to go to a Halloween party with him tonight. What should I do?"

"Well, I mean duh, I want you to come with us... Why don't you two go out for dinner before and then you can come to Old Main with us after and he can go to the party?"

Izzy nodded. "Okay. Okay, I can do that. I'll tell the guys I'm helping Mom with trick-or-treaters to get out of the movie."

"Sounds like a plan."

Izzy gave Donna a side hug as the two of them headed back downstairs. "You're the best."

-

Once the gang was all out of the house that evening, Izzy was picked up by Nick. The two of them went to Fatso Burger, somewhere Nick had never been before.

"So, we've been official for four months now." Nick said, picking up a fry.

"Yeah. Yeah, we have."

"And we're celebrating with clown burgers?"

"It's good, trust me. You need to actually taste the food, though."

Nick tentatively took a bite of the burger. Izzy laughed and wiped some ketchup off the corner of his mouth. "Wait. That's, like, really good."

"Right? Told you!"

"So when are you gonna tell everyone about us?"

Izzy looked up, surprised at the sudden topic change. The two of them had been talking about movies, something completely different than their relationship. "Uh..."

"I mean, come on Izzy. We've been dating for a few months now, I'd like to meet the rest of your friends. You've met mine."

"I just..."

"Are you, like, ashamed of me or something?"

"No! No, Nick. That's not it. I don't know why I haven't told them about you, I really don't. But now just... doesn't seem like the right time."

He nodded. "Okay. Well, can you tell the right time to come a little sooner?" He said with a little laugh that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Yeah. Yes. I just need a little longer."

"Okay." He brushed a piece of hair out of her face. "Anything for you, Iz."

-

"Look at this dump. No wonder Hyde tried to burn it down." Fez said, inspecting the walls of the room they were in. Izzy had met up with them after they took Fez trick-or-treating, and he was still in his Batman costume. But, by now, they had made it to Old Main, and were currently inside one of the classrooms. All around them were walls that still had scorch marks, boarded-up windows, and dust everywhere.

"You know, Fez," Eric said. "A man died in that fire. A gym teacher. Coach..." Eric searched for a name for his made-up ghosty. "Coach Smith. Some say his specter still roams the halls to this day."

Hyde put his flashlight against his chin, lighting his face up, and leaned towards Izzy's face. "Take a laaaap. Give me twenty, walk it offff!" Izzy laughed and grabbed the flashlight, hitting his arm lightly with it. "Ow! Izzy Bee!"

"Look, guys, let's just cut it out, okay?" Kelso asked, hugging his arms to himself. "You're scaring the women." Just then, one of the boards on the window fell off, making Kelso jump and run out of the room, screaming "Out of my way!" at the top of his lungs.

"Kelso, it was the window!" Hyde called after him.

Kelso quickly headed back in, trying to look slick as he said, "Yeah. I knew that."

Jackie's jaw was dropped open. "'Out of my way'? Really, Michael?!"

"No, I didn't say that!"

"Yes you did, just before you knocked her over." Fez said.

"No! I was... I was protecting you!"

"Protecting me?!"

"Yeah! I was trying to draw the ghost away from you. Ghosts are attracted to movement, that's a scientific fact."

"You know what, I don't care! You are an idiot and science is stupid! Donna, Izzy, let's go."

Izzy sighed and followed Jackie out of the room. Donna walked after her, mumbling, "Gee, wonder what we're gonna talk about.

-

"God, I can't believe Michael pushed me out of the way like that!"

"Me neither, I thought he was gonna use you as a human shield." Donna said.

"Donna, the most noble thing a man can do is lay down his life for the woman he loves. Ideally, while she's still young and can remarry. Do you know who protected me there? Fez."

Izzy giggled. "Well, he had to. He's Batman."

"Oh my god, come look at this." Donna said, going through an old filing cabinet.

"What is that?"

"It's all the students' old permanent records!"

Izzy's eyes widened. "No shit! We gotta find ours, like now."

-

Donna waved the folders in the air. "Hey guys, we found something scary."

"Yeah, they were in the principal's office." Jackie added.

"Oh my god," Eric said, looking at the folders. "These look like-"

Izzy nodded. "Our permanent records."

"Wow." Kelso said, taking a folder and flipping through the papers. "Aw, you know what? They probably left these here after the school burned down."

"Hey. Pinciotti, Donna." Hyde picked up Donna's file and started rifling through it. "Well, looks like someone we know had a real hard time keeping their clothes on in kindergarten."

"What?!" Donna took the folder and glanced over it. "Whatever, it was just a stupid phase."

"Sure glad that's over." Eric sighed.

Kelso waved everyone over. "Oh, listen to this. 'I fear that, despite Steven's high IQ-'" Izzy turned to Hyde, who just grinned and nodded. "'He's a born troublemaker and is destined to be the smartest man!'" Kelso turned the page. "'In his cell block!'"

Hyde scowled. "What? They couldn't have known that in second grade." He picked up his file and began reading. "Steven willfully and maliciously destroyed Christine del Bueno's shoebox diorama of the four food groups."

"Oh, you monster." Izzy said, giggling. "You horrible, horrible monster!"

"Yeah, real funny, but I didn't do it."

"You know what's really funny, Hyde?" Eric asked, staring wistfully into the distance. "I broke the diorama."

"You?!" Thunder rumbled outside, and everyone jumped.

Eric just kept reminiscing, an evil glint in his eye. "Hers was better than mine. I had to smash it. I left out dairy."

"You know, that's when everybody turned against me." Hyde walked up to Eric, the two of them facing each other. "They pegged me as a bad kid. And once that happens, you're labelled forever. You ruined my life, Forman!"

"No, he didn't!" Jackie said from the corner. "Hyde, no offense, but with an alcoholic mom and an absent dad, you were bound to end up in jail sooner or later." Hyde glared daggers at her. She held up her hands in defense. "I said 'no offense'!"

"Yeah, right. Let's see what that file says about you, Jackie." Hyde picked up Jackie's folder and started going through it.

"Go ahead, I have a perfect record."

Hyde stifled a snorting laugh. "Would anybody like to know what Jackie's middle name is?" At that, Jackie let out a piercing shriek. "Jackie's middle name is-"

Hyde couldn't say it though, not before Jackie lunged at him, repeatedly hitting him with her own file until he was laying on the floor. She took a breath, fixed her jacket, and walked back over to Kelso.

Hyde picked his head up off the floor, a wide smile on his face. "It's Beulah!"

-

Hyde and Eric were standing in the middle of the room, staring at each other, neither backing down. Everyone was awkwardly watching, while also trying not to watch.

"Alright, nobody move!" Fez said. "Somebody took my last box of Sugar Babies!" He got up and started looking around. "Oh, no wait, I was sitting on them."

"Gee Fez, you didn't give Forman a chance to pin it on me." Hyde sneered.

"I didn't pin anything on you!"

"Oh, no? Well when Mrs. Hodgekiss was yellin' at me in front of the whole class, you didn't exactly step up and take responsibility. What were you thinking?"

"Mm. I guess I was thinking 'I'm seven!'"

"Can we please not fight?" Izzy said, walking between them. "It's Halloween."

Kelso stood up. "Yeah! It's time for peace on Earth and goodwill towards man! Let's just read another file."

Donna rolled her eyes. "Yeah, 'cause that's worked out great so far."

"Alright, fine! I'll read from my own, okay?" Kelso picked up his file. As he did, Izzy picked up her own, reading through her accolades and achievements with a smile. "Oh, here we go. Here's a secret you guys don't know about me, 'cause it's from the year before I moved here. Okay, when I was in first grade, I used to wear this red cape to school and pretend I was Superman."

"Oh, you must have looked really stupid!" Fez chuckled, fixing his Batman gloves.

"Wait, first grade?" Eric asked.

Kelso nodded. "Yeah."

"No no no, when you moved here, you and I were in first grade. That's how we met."

"No we didn't!" Kelso said quickly.

Eric grabbed Kelso's file and scanned the page. "Man, you had to repeat first grade?"

Jackie stood up. "Oh my god, Michael, say it's not true!"

"It was cursive writing, alright?! All those stupid squiggles and bumps, I wouldn't do it!"

Hyde snickered. "You mean you couldn't do it."

"No, I wouldn't do it, and that's why they held me back!" He sighed. "Plus... I mighta killed the class bunny... But it sucked, y'know? Living this lie, pretending to be a year younger than I really am-"

"Wait a minute. You're eighteen?"

"Yeah. I mean c'mon Hyde, that's why I've always seemed so much more mature than you guys."

"You're telling me that all this time you coulda been buying us beer?!"

"You bastard." Fez whispered.

"Wh- no! It's not what you think!"

"You're dead to me, Kelso."

"But Eric ruined your life!"

"And if I had a beer, I could be getting over it right now." Hyde took a step towards Kelso. "Beer. Beer!" Soon, everyone was slowly chanting "Beer!" at Kelso.

"Alright, alright, everybody just leave him alone!" Jackie yelled, quieting everyone down. "Because he may be a liar, but at least he's not a backstabber like Eric."

"Stay out of this, Beulah!" Izzy said.

"Don't call me that!"

"Oh! Sorry, Beulah."

"Fine! You know what?" Jackie stood in the middle of everyone, making sure they were all paying attention. "Izzy's been dating a college junior for four months and she's been keeping it a secret from everyone!"

Izzy dropped her file.

Eric started laughing. "Jackie, what? You really expect us to believe that? Izzy's terrible at keeping secrets. Right, Iz?" Eric turned to his sister, whose eyes were wide. Her mouth was open in surprise, and her face was void of any color. He swallowed. "R- Right, Iz?"

"Uh-huh, there's more." Jackie said. "Every time she tells you guys she's over at my house, she's really been with him. Hyde, remember that Zeppelin concert she said she couldn't go to? She went with him. Right in the front." She turned to Izzy. "Don't mess with me!"

Hyde looked at Izzy, his face stony. "Are you serious?"

"You know what? Fine, Jackie. If that's how you wanna play." Izzy turned to Kelso. "Kelso, Jackie told me Fez is a better kisser than you."

Kelso turned to Jackie and let out a little scream in surprise.

"Izzy, were you ever gonna tell us about this guy?!" Eric yelled.

"Hurts when your friends lie to you, don't it?" Hyde said to Eric.

"How would I know?! I have no friends! Let's go, pal!"

All at once, the room erupted. Izzy and Donna were yelling at Jackie, and the boys were all yelling at each other.

Fez was exempt, though. He looked around at all the arguing and stood up on the desk. "Stop it!" The room instantly quieted. "Can't you see what's happening? Those permanent records are tearing us apart."

Izzy nodded. "Batman's right."

"Look what we've become." Hyde mumbled.

Donna sighed. "We're like animals."

"Those files are evil, man." Kelso said.

"We've gotta destroy them."

"But how, Jackie?" Eric asked. "How?"

"Oh god, now my Sugar Babies really are gone!" Fez whined. Slowly, Hyde reached into his pocket and handed him the small box of candy.

-

The gang all stood around a hole in the dirt that Hyde had dug. He held the records close to him, staring into the pit.

"Michael, I'm cold!" Jackie complained. "And this is stupid, we should just burn the files."

Kelso shook his head. "Jackie, they've already been in a fire. They can't be destroyed that way."

"See you in hell, permanent records." Hyde said, dropping the papers into the hole.

"Now we have to swear we'll never speak of this ever again." Eric said.

"Except for the part about Kelso buying us beer." Donna added.

"Yeah, naturally. And Izzy's boyfriend--we'll have a talk about that later--but other than that, it's like this night never happened. Okay?"

Everyone nodded in agreement. There was a silence, then Hyde snickered and whispered, "Beulah." Which made Jackie immediately turn on him, and everyone watched as she tried her best to beat him up.

-

Izzy walked into the basement that night, followed by Hyde and Eric. Closing the door behind him, Eric saw that Izzy was about to head up the stairs. "Hey! We need to talk, all three of us."

Izzy froze. She turned around, refusing to meet either of their eyes.

"Why didn't you us tell you have a boyfriend?" Eric asked calmly.

"I don't know." Izzy whispered.

"That's bullshit." Hyde said, throwing his jacket on the couch. "You lied to me."

"She lied to all of us, Hyde." Eric turned to his sister. "What, do you not trust us? I mean, for god's sake, Izzy, I'm your brother!"

"I know! I know, I just-"

"You just what? You... what, you forgot to tell us and then just kept going with it?"

"I bought you a shirt."

Izzy's head snapped up. "What?"

Hyde's voice was barely above a whisper. He was leaning one hand on the couch, as though he'd fall if he let go. "I bought you a shirt. I felt bad that you couldn't go to that damn concert. I spent all my money on that."

Izzy blinked away tears. "What, do you want it back?!" She walked over to the laundry basket that was on top of the dryer. She fished around in it and pulled out the shirt. "Take it!"

"No."

"I'll give you the shirt back, Hyde. Just fucking take it!"

"No. Keep it, I don't care."

Eric walked up to Izzy. "You need to deal with this. And you're telling Mom and Dad in the morning." He kissed her on the top of her head. "Good night."

Izzy didn't look at her brother as he spoke to her, she and Hyde wouldn't break eye contact. As soon as Eric left, Izzy took in a breath.

"Hyde, if you care so much about the damn shirt then just take it back or, at the very least, tell me how much it cost! I'll give it back and I'll pay you the money." Izzy threw the shirt as Hyde's chest, but he didn't catch it. He didn't even look at it. He just let it fall at his feet, clenching his jaw.

"I don't want it back-"

"Why not?!" She yelled, her voice breaking. Hyde watched as tears started rolling down Izzy's cheeks. "I'm trying to do something right here, Steven, so just let me-"

"Because whenever I look at it I'll think of how you lied to all of us for months!" Hyde's voice was loud, and each time it got louder, Izzy felt herself break down more. "I saved your ass from Red when you were drunk at the Christmas party. I carry you to bed every time you fall asleep on me. I learned how to dance for you. I put so much effort into us, and you pull this shit in return? I thought what we had... I really fucking thought..." He trailed off, shaking his head.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Hyde, what aren't you telling me?!" Izzy pleaded. "I know you're holding something back and that's why you're so angry about this-"

"Don't you dare tell me why I'm angry!" He yelled. Izzy shrunk back, frightened of Hyde for the first time in their lives. He took a step back, realizing her reaction. He clenched his jaw, taking deep breaths. "I'm going to bed."

"Please, Hyde-"

"Leave me alone, Isabelle."

"Please don't call me that." Izzy begged weakly, her cheeks shining.

"I can call you whatever the hell I want."

"Hyde..."