《that's life » s. hyde》[17] laurie and the professor
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"Look at us," Laurie said at the breakfast table. "This is just like a Norman Rockwell painting. Mom is serving breakfast, Daddy's reading the newspaper, sister Izzy's nose is in her sketchbook, and brother Eric is trying to hide a big, purple, nasty hickey!"
"Hickey? I don't have a hickey..."
"You know, Eric, hickies lead to dirty things."
Red rolled his eyes. "For god's sake, don't let Donna suck your neck. She's a nice girl."
"I don't have a hickey! I was using a curling iron."
Kitty came over and looked at the spot on Eric's neck. "Oh, will you just look at that." She licked her finger and tried to rub it off, and Eric swatted her hand away. "Red, do you remember that time-"
"No, and neither do you."
"Okay," Kitty laughed. "So, um, Laurie, what's on the agenda today?"
Laurie scowled. "Agenda?"
"A list of goals or actions one might feel good about achieving so as to-"
"Shut up Izzy. You guys need to relax, I'm still getting used to being back home."
Eric nodded. "Yeah, flunking out of college can be draining. Phew!"
"Eric!"
"What? Come on, Dad, that was so mild." Red sighed and got up, heading to his den.
Kitty shook her head. "Well Laurie, all you do is sit around the house and watch television, you should come down to the hospital and volunteer."
"You know, I think Eric needs an agenda. Look at his neck!"
Izzy looked over at her brother. "Isn't that a, uh-"
He nodded. "Yeah! It's a... um-"
"A birthmark."
"A birthmark! It's been there since birth!"
Hyde came into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. "Good morning, class."
Izzy smiled. "Hey Steven, I made a pot of coffee for Red, but there's some left if you want any. You look like you want some."
"Good morning, Orphan." Laurie said snarkily.
"Good morning."
"That's all you got?"
Hyde held up a finger, yawning. "Whore."
"Mom, he called me a whore!"
"Yeah. Steven, you're too young for coffee, have some juice."
"Mrs. Forman, I need coffee. Your son kept me up all night bragging about his hickey."
-
"Guess who got her driver's license!" Izzy cheered, running down the basement steps.
"You passed?" Eric said, getting up. Izzy nodded excitedly. "All right!" He yelled, high fiving her with both hands.
Izzy sat on the ground next to Hyde, and he poked her forehead. "Ow! What was that for?"
"Good job."
She grinned. "Thanks."
"Wait, Izzy," Kelso said. "How come you didn't take drivers ed in school with the rest of us?"
"Oh, Red thought I was too young at the time."
"But... you and Forman are the same age."
"Yep. It sucked, I had to sit in with the freshmen health class. Every time they heard the word 'breast,' they'd all look at me."
Donna laughed. "Well at least you can drive now. You wanna go to the mall?"
Eric put an arm around Donna. "Oh, no no no. Izzy may have her license, but she is nowhere near a good driver."
"Hey!"
"Tell me I'm wrong."
Izzy paused. "You're not wrong."
"Wait, why're you so bad?" Hyde chuckled.
"She's too skittish. Last week I was giving her a lesson and a bird flew past us, she nearly drove into a telephone pole."
"That was one time!"
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"Yeah, one time with a bird! And another with a squirrel, and a cat, and-"
Kelso snickered. "You're a bad driver."
"Dumbass." Izzy pouted, crossing her arms. Hyde ran his fingers through her hair as a silence lulled over the room.
"Okay, well I gotta head home." Donna said. "Gotta go shopping with my mom. Suddenly it's like really important that we be best friends."
"What happened?"
"She's been, uh, reading."
Eric looked wistfully into the distance. "Damn it, when will they learn?"
After Donna walked out, Hyde turned to Eric. "Okay Forman, I have a solution to this whole 'you being a pain in my ass, me sharing a room' thing. You move out."
"Of my room?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Well that's just not gonna happen."
"Okay fine, I'll move out, you big baby." Hyde said, crossing his arms.
Eric paused. "Still friends?"
"I need time to heal."
Izzy hit Hyde on the leg lightly. "You guys are idiots." She said, laughing.
Eric raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah, and what are you?"
"I dunno, but it's better than you."
-
Izzy sat in Red's chair in the living room, watching television with Eric in silence. Hyde came down the stairs with his cot and unfolded it right behind Eric. He yawned, smacked Eric on the back of the head, and laid down, making Izzy burst into a fit of giggles at Eric's reaction.
Laurie bounced into the room and took the remote from Eric forcefully, changing the television station and sitting on the couch.
Eric glared at her. "Kelso took your underwear."
"Ugh, that's like the third pair!"
"Oh my god, ew!" Izzy whined. Hyde sat up, a disgusted look on his face, grabbed his cot, and left the room.
"Give me the remote control, Laurie."
"Give me one reason I shouldn't set you on fire."
Izzy picked up the pillow she had been using and tossed it to Eric, who immediately smothered Laurie with it. Red walked into the room, arms crossed, making Eric throw the pillow back at Izzy. Without a word, Red pulled Eric into a Nelson hold. "Alright Laurie, take your best shot!"
He was cut short, though, when the bell rang. Kitty came in through the kitchen, taking note of Eric and Red. "Oh, Red, we talked about this. Let him go." Kitty went and opened the door, revealing a middle-aged bald man with thick glasses.
"Hello, Laurie." He said with a smile. "I apologize for coming unannounced, but I-"
"Mom! Daddy! This is Professor Stark, he was my art history teacher."
"Well, actually, I was your psychology teacher."
Eric gave him a bright smile. "Well, whatever you taught her, she flunked it!"
"So, you're from the, uh, University of Wisconsin. Are you here to give me back my money?" Red asked, only half joking.
"Well, actually I came here because of Laurie-"
"He came to see if the university would take me back!"
Kitty's eyes widened. "Oh, really? Please, here, have a seat! I'll make coffee and cake, I'll make coffee cake! And coffee! Oh, gosh, really? Can you get her back into the university and out of my house?"
"Well, I'm going to try my darndest."
"Well this is really good news!" Red said.
Izzy stifled a grin. "This is the best news I've ever heard."
"Yes, it is. I want to get Laurie back into school-" Izzy noticed that he had his hand on Laurie's thigh, and she quickly pushed it off.
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"Professor, question." Eric said. "How lame exactly is your student body that you're trying to get this dumb cow back in-"
"Eric!" Red yelled. "Don't be a smart mouth. We have company!"
"Yes, yes. Eric, Isabelle, why don't you two make coffee?" Kitty asked.
Izzy and Eric looked at each other and then ran into the kitchen. Immediately, they started whisper-screaming at each other.
"Oh my god! Eric, he's disgusting!"
"And Laurie totally did it with him!"
"Totally!"
"Ew!"
-
"Okay Eric, Mom wants you to go to the store and get three pounds of ground beef, lean." Izzy said, reading the list that Kitty had left.
"You're really gonna make dinner tonight?"
Izzy shrugged. "Mom asked me to."
"Okay, but this guy is not gonna get Laurie back into college. She's stupid and evil. Mostly stupid."
"Eric, that's not very nice. She's not stupid. She has special, uh... special..." She sighed. "Just go." Izzy washed her hands and headed upstairs to her bedroom, and when she opened the door, it would only open partway. "What the... Hyde!"
Hyde scrambled to move his cot out of the way, and she managed to get the door open. "Sorry."
She shrugged, closing the door behind her. "You can't sleep in my room, you know."
"But the paintings are cool."
"Yes, I know the paintings are cool. Thank you." She sat down on his cot next to him, running her fingers through his hair. "Y'know, I use to share a room with Eric every time Bernice would stay here. I would come back and find all my paintings in a pile in the corner. She said they gave her a headache. One time, when I was putting them back up, I found one of the canvases was torn. Another time, one of them wasn't dry yet and totally ruined a bunch of others."
"And this is supposed to make me feel better how?"
"It's not. I'm trying to express how much sharing a room sucks." She thought for a moment. "You know, why don't we clean out the back room in the basement? It's small, cold, and has concrete walls, but-"
"Wait, that sounds so cool."
Izzy laughed and lightly punched his shoulder. "I knew you'd like the idea."
Hyde looked her up and down. "Hey, did that Zeppelin shirt fit alright? I haven't seen you wear it yet."
Izzy was caught off guard, swearing for a second she stopped breathing. "Oh! Uh... yeah. Yeah, it fits great."
"Good! Um... I'm, uh, I'm glad." He paused. "Hey, wanna hear something funny?"
-
Izzy ran down the hall to Eric's room, knocking furiously on his door. He opened it, brows furrowed in confusion. "You saw Laurie kissing her professor?!" Izzy whisper-yelled.
Eric grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his room, closing the door. "Who told you?"
"Hyde just did! Oh my god!"
"I know! I finally have something on her! Ooh, Izzy, I'm gonna ruin her life."
"I doubt that. You're gonna try, but you're gonna chicken out. Just, please, wait until after dinner? I'm just such a good cook."
"And you're humble, too."
-
Izzy sat in between Hyde and Eric at dinner. She was watching Professor Stark mash the biscuit on his plate into tiny cubes, and setting them all in a row.
"So, um, this news about Laurie leaving, it's just a little ray of sunshine!" Kitty laughed.
Red nodded. "I just wish more teachers cared about their students like you do. I think it all started going downhill when you couldn't paddle the kids anymore."
Eric snickered. "Pansy-ass Supreme Court."
"Shut up."
"Hey Forman, he who hesitates is boned." Hyde said, leaning across Izzy to whisper.
"Hyde, don't instigate." Izzy whispered.
"Laurie is one of the most gifted young women in my class. I've always enjoyed having her."
Eric made little kissy noises at Laurie, then hissed, "I own you."
"Is there something wrong with the bread?" Izzy asked, looking at all the tiny cubes on Stark's plate.
"No, why?"
"Oh, Laurie, I know something that you don't know that I know, ya know?" Eric said with a smile. "Yes, yes."
Hyde raised his eyebrows. "Oh, tell us Forman! Please!"
Laurie scowled at Eric. "You don't know anything. And if you do know something, I'll make you sorry you were ever born."
Eric laughed. "Well for your information, I'm already sorry I was ever born!"
"Eric!" Red scolded.
"See?"
"So, what does Laurie need to do to get back into school?"
"Well... she'll have to work with me. Make a commitment--to school. She'll really have to buckle down."
Kitty laughed loudly. "Well Laurie, are you willing to give it a go?"
"Oh, Mama, she's very willing." Izzy said quietly, a small smile on her face. She knew the dinner was going to shit, so she might as well partake in the fun.
Laurie glared at the three kids sitting across from her, as though she was trying to set them all on fire.
"You know, Dad, I just saw the most interesting thing today. In the garage." Eric explained calmly. "It was just... so surprising."
"Wow! Eric, do tell." Hyde encouraged.
"I saw Laurie-"
"I'm in love with your daughter." Stark said, standing up. Izzy's eyes widened. Red stood up, stared at the professor for a second, then lunged at him. In surprise, Izzy took Hyde's hand in hers underneath the table. Laurie looked mortified, and Kitty ran out of the room. The two boys just watched with huge, dopey grins.
-
After dinner, Izzy had gone up to her room to hide from the inevitably awkward conversation Laurie was about to have with the rest of her family. She rifled through her drawers, looking for some pajamas to wear, when she stopped.
She pulled out the Zeppelin shirt, running her hand over the design. She sighed and pulled her top off, then put the Zeppelin one on. She put on some pajama shorts and pulled her easel out of her closet. She laid out her tarp on the floor and took out her work-in-progress canvas, an oil painting of a coastal town. And she set to work.
"Izzy Bee, can I come in?"
Izzy looked over at the clock on her bedside table. "Yeah, come on in."
"Hey, it's late, what have you been-" He paused, looking her up and down. "You're wearing the shirt."
"I am. How do I look?"
Hyde just shook his head with a smile.
"So, uh, how'd it go down there? Y'know, with Laurie?"
"Ah," Hyde sat on the foot of Izzy's bed and watched as she continued to paint. "Forman chickened out."
"Knew it." Izzy said with a laugh. "So why're you up here?"
"Not tired," he said before letting out a long yawn, making Izzy crack up. "Oh, you think that's funny, huh?"
"Hilarious!"
"Shut up! C'mere!" He said, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and picking her up. She squealed and kicked, laughing as she playfully hit him.
"Hyde! Put me down!"
"Nope."
"Put me down, Hyde, or I swear I'll-" Izzy was cut off by her phone ringing.
Hyde stopped and set her down. "I can get it, if you wanna keep painting."
"No! No, I'll, uh... I got it!" Izzy rushed over to her phone, picking it up quickly. "Hello?" She glanced up at Hyde. "Yeah. Tomorrow night, got it. Okay. Mhm. Yup. Bye." She hung up, looking at Hyde with wide eyes.
"Who was that?"
"Um..." She shook her head, catching herself. "Jackie. We have plans tomorrow night."
"You and Jackie have been hanging out a lot lately."
"Yep. Yup. Yuh-huh."
"Why?"
"She's... fun?"
"Fun."
"Fun."
"Okay. Get some sleep, Izzy Bee. You're a little out of it." Izzy nodded and watched as Hyde walked out of her room. He poked his head back in, said a quick, "Good night," and then closed the door.
Izzy sighed and fell back onto her bed. She had come dangerously close to the gang learning about Nick. This Halloween, Izzy and Nick would have been dating for four months, and she still didn't feel ready to tell anyone.
Instead of facing her feelings, though, Izzy did what she always did: she put on a happy face and picked up her paintbrush.
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