The gang all stood around in the Formans' driveway, playing Horse. Really, the boys and Donna were playing. Jackie and Izzy were sitting on top of the car with a couple of pops, watching their boys.

Kelso took a shot and missed, yelling, "Damn!"

"Oh!" Hyde said. "Kelso misses another one! I believe that's uh, H - O - R."

Fez grinned. "Ah, you are a whore."

"No, the game is 'Horse.'" Kelso said, confused.

"Oh..." Fez said as he walked away.

Jackie finished her coke and stood up, throwing her can in the trash. "Ok, you know what, Michael? I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna do my homework."

Eric laughed. "You do your homework on a Saturday night?"

"Yeah?" Jackie replied, clearly annoyed.

Eric grinned. "Look, I mean, look at me. I've got a thousand word term paper due Monday. But you don't see me sweating! I've got a whole crappy Sunday to do it."

"Jackie, don't go home," Kelso said. "I mean, Steve Martin's hosting Saturday Night!"

"I hate that show. Ok, they have these commercials that you think are real, but they're not real. And then, you wanna buy the stuff!" Jackie paused, seeing how everyone was looking at her strangely. "Ok, see you Michael!" She said, walking off.

Everyone waved her goodbye with big grins on their faces.

"Kelso, Jackie does her homework on Saturday night. That's so hip!" Hyde said sarcastically.

"You guys don't have to worry about Jackie anymore 'cause I'm breaking up with her."

"No, you're not." Izzy said, jumping off the hood of the car. "You always say that."

"I-I am! I'm breaking up with her!"

Hyde walked over to Izzy and put an arm around her. "Yeah? When?"

"I'm picking my moment."

Eric stopped. "Hey, where's Fez?"

They all turned to see Fez standing behind the fence. He took a shot at the basket, and the ball went straight in. "Make that shot, whore!"

-

The next morning, at breakfast, Kitty was dancing around to the radio, singing along and hip-bumping Red as she walked past him with orange juice.

"Well now, aren't the waffles extra delicious this wonderful morning!" She said cheerfully.

Izzy tried to suppress her laughter. "Did you quit smoking again?"

"And why do you ask, little one?"

"Well, you're kinda talking like Snow White again." Eric said.

"Eric!" Red warned.

"Which is great! Um... I really want you to quit."

"Well, I should have quit a long time ago! I'm a nurse, I know better. More sausage?"

After that, the phone rang. Red got up and picked it up, talking briefly before hanging up, all very calm.

"Who was that, dear?" Kitty asked, a smile on her face.

"Uh, my mother. Seems like, uh, Uncle Paul broke his ankle, and uh, she's going to church with us today."

Immediately, Kitty's smile went away. "No she's not. It's Paul's turn to take her."

"Well, like I said, he broke his ankle." Red huffed.

"Broken ankle, whatever, it's his turn."

"Kitty, the man is injured."

"Okay. That is just great." Kitty got up and went to the fridge, laughing her nervous laugh. "I will just take a chicken out of the freezer!" She said, opening the freezer and yanking out a frozen chicken. "Because Queen Bernice doesn't like ham!" She walked to the oven, opening it, and pulled out the ham that she was planning on making that day.

Red sighed and walked over to his wife. "Okay. Okay, look. I'll just call her and tell her that we can't make it."

"Oh, Red, Red, Red. You know who'll get blamed for that!"

"Well, why should she blame you? She's my mother!"

"Something she never lets me forget!"

"Look, uh, you could tell her I'm sick or something." Eric offered.

"Eric, go upstairs and put on that shirt your grandmother gave you." Kitty said. Right away Eric got up and ran to his room.

"I can help, Mom. I can make the chicken if you-"

"Just put on your church clothes, Isabelle." Red said. She nodded and headed upstairs.

She met up with Eric in the hallway, and as soon as they saw each other, they both whisper-screamed.

"Why does Grandma have to come?!" Eric whispered.

"I don't know! What are we gonna do?!"

"I can distract her. Then she'll leave Mom alone."

"I'll help with the cooking. Then Ma can get drunk."

"Deal. Now go get dressed, baby sister."

"Don't call me that!"

"Am I wrong?"

"Shut up!"

Then two headed into their separate rooms, their doors facing each other in the hall, to get dressed.

-

Later that morning, Izzy sat alongside her mother in the back seat of the Toyota, her father being in the driver's seat, waiting for Eric to come back with Bernice.

"Here she comes! Oh, god, Red I don't think I can do this!" Kitty said through clenched teeth.

"Kitty, do us all a favor, and lighten up." Red said.

"I'm fine!"

Eric walked Bernice to the car, opening her door for her. "Careful, Grandma." He said, shutting the door behind her. This elicited a blood-curdling scream from her that made everyone jump and Eric quickly open the door back up.

"Just my dress." She said calmly. Eric just closed the door again, very, very carefully.

"Well, it's nice to see you, Bernice." Kitty said.

"I hate this car." Bernice replied. "You know, I just hate this car." Eric got into the backseat, forcing Izzy into the middle seat. "Your brother Jerry has a beautiful car. A Lincoln. But then he makes more money, a lot more money that you."

Red sighed. "Alrighty then."

"Hi Grandma." Izzy said sweetly.

Bernice turned around and looked at Izzy. "You're dressed like a whore, dear. This is church, not Amsterdam." Before anyone could open their mouths to reply, Bernice said, "So Kitty, Eric tells me that you quit smoking."

"Yes, yes I did quit, and I just, I feel great."

Bernice got out her lighter and lit her cigarette. "Well, good for you, dear," she said, blowing smoke in Kitty's face.

-

Later on, when they got home, Izzy and Eric immediately ran into the basement, getting surprised when they were met with everyone else hanging out in there.

"Oh, you guys! I gotta work on my term paper." Eric said.

"Where's grandma?" Donna said, making claws with her hands.

"Oh, she's in the bathroom, so we've got, like, twenty minutes, half hour tops." Izzy said. "I'm just here with him to hide."

"What's the assignment?" Donna asked.

"Alright," Eric said, opening his binder. "In a thousand words, describe the three branches of the United States government, and their functions." He paused. "I'll never make it."

"Well, go up and tell them you have homework to do." Donna offered.

Izzy's eyes widened. "No! We need to keep peace in the family."

Hyde laughed. "Yeah, Donna. Izzy Bee wants the Hallmark card family."

"The what?" Izzy asked.

"You know grandma comes over..." Hyde went on to explain the perfect family where everyone went along, followed by the harsh reality that was Izzy's family.

Eric laughed. "Izzy doesn't want that."

"Yeah, she does. I can see it in those wide, hopeful eyes." Hyde said, pulling her onto his lap.

"Damn it kids, quit hiding from your grandmother! She's old, she could die, now move it!" Red called from upstairs.

"I thought she was in the bathroom!" Eric yelled back.

"False alarm."

Donna took Eric's binder from him. "Look. Go take care of your grandmother, we can do this."

"Thanks." Eric said before he jogged upstairs.

Izzy tried to get up, but Hyde had his arms around her waist. "Steven, let me go!" She laughed. "Grandma's already upset with me, I don't want to give her another thing to pick on."

Hyde stopped and let go. "Why's she upset with you?"

"I don't know." Izzy said, fixing her dress as she stood. "She's upset I'm into art and not something 'fit for a woman,' she thinks I need a haircut, she called me a whore on the way to church, and-"

"She called you what?" Hyde asked, getting up and facing Izzy.

"It's fine, Steven. I should really get going." Izzy pointed upstairs with her thumb, a smile still on her face.

Hyde nodded. "Let me know if you need me."

"No need, but thanks."

Donna and Kelso shared a look, both of their eyebrows raised. "So... Hyde." Kelso said once Izzy was back upstairs.

"Huh?"

"You liked Izzy, you like Izzy!" Donna chanted in a singsong voice.

Hyde sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "I do not."

"Oh really? 'Let me know if you neeeed me.'" She said, mocking Hyde.

"Bernice shouldn't have called her a whore! Only I'm allowed to call her mean names."

"Yeah, but you only call her 'Izzy Bee.' That's not a mean name, it's a pet name." Kelso said.

"Whatever." Hyde said, putting his feet up on the coffee table.

-

In the kitchen, Bernice was smoking a cigarette, which clearly put Kitty on edge. "I hope you're hungry, the chicken will be done soon," she said.

"I can't eat chicken. You know I have an irritable bowel." Bernice said, taking a long puff from her cigarette. "You should've made a ham."

"Oh boy, grandma, that was a great service this morning, don't you think?" Eric said quickly.

"Well, I think the pastor talked too much about forgiveness. Some people shouldn't be forgiven."

"This is why theology is such a rich top-"

"You know, Bernice," Kitty said, cutting off her son, "some people don't need forgiveness, they just need a little understanding."

"Oh, too true. Have you seen Godspell?" Eric asked.

"I love Godspell!" Izzy said.

"Of course you do."

"What?"

"Nothing, baby sister."

"You know what I don't understand?" Bernice said. "Is how in hell a brilliant young man like my Red could've thrown away everything-"

Kitty abruptly stood up, pleading to her kids with her eyes.

"Grandma!" Izzy said loudly. "Why don't we go into the living room?"

"Why?"

"I'll rub your feet!" Eric said, his face showing that he regretted saying that as soon as he did.

Bernice stood up. "What a wonderful boy!" She said, hugging Eric. "Oh, look at how thin you are! Is your mother feeding you enough? Isabelle, you should be giving Eric your food. You look like you've had plenty."

"Thanks, Grandma." Izzy said, keeping a smile on.

"Oh, I'm just stating a fact. It's just clear to me and everyone else that all your food has gone straight to your chest, and you shouldn't be proud of that, Isabelle."

"Okay, Grandma! I think that's enough!" Eric said loudly. "I can take it from here, Izzy. You can go down to the basement," he whispered to his sister.

"Oh, thank you." She said, relieved.

When she got downstairs, she saw Donna and Hyde working on Eric's paper. "Hey guys." She huffed, practically falling onto the couch.

"How's it going up there?" Donna asked.

"She called me fat, but then followed it up by saying I have big boobs... so... yay?"

"What a bitch." Hyde mumbled, not loud enough for Izzy to hear, but loud enough for Donna to start laughing.

"What's so funny?" Izzy asked, grinning.

"Huh? Oh, nothing! Nothing..."

"Eric, are you down here?" Kitty's voice was heard as she walked down the stairs. "Oh! Isabelle! Come on, it's dinner time. Donna, you too, why don't you come up and eat with us, I need all the help I can get." Hyde started to get up with the girls, but Kitty stopped him. "Not you, Steven, Grandma doesn't like you." She said, hurrying back up the stairs.

"You lucky bastard." Donna said.

"Come on, Donna. I made some damn good food tonight." Izzy said.

"Well, what am I supposed to eat?" Hyde asked.

Izzy smiled and cupped Hyde's chin in her hand. "Don't worry, doofus, I'll bring some down for you."

-

At the dinner table, everyone was sat and enjoying the food. "Isabelle, these cheesy potatoes are delicious." Red said, taking a bite. "Mmmm."

"Thanks, Daddy."

"They really are great, Izzy! Wow, you're amazing at such a feminine task like cooking!" Donna said with a cheesy smile.

"We have these potatoes whenever grandma comes over, 'cause Mom knows how much she loves 'em! Right, Grandma?" Izzy said.

"They make me sick. I'm allergic to dairy." Bernice said grumpily.

Fez pouted. "Oh, how sad."

"Ma, this is Wisconsin." Red sighed. "You're not allergic to dairy."

"Well, maybe she's just allergic to my dairy." Kitty huffed.

"If you're allergic to dairy, you shouldn't be putting cream in your coffee. I mean, cream is dairy..."

"Donna, I just- no, no, ok?" Eric warned quietly.

"You shut up, Eric." Bernice turned to Donna. "Who the hell are you?"

"Grandma, that's Donna." Eric said. "You've known her for sixteen years."

"I have not. Anyway, I like your new friend better."

Fez grinned. "The feeling is mutual."

There was an awkward, tension-filled silence, before Red broke it, saying, "Darn! I heard a, uh, a noise in the, um... garage. Raccoons. Bye!" He got up and ran out to the garage.

One by one, everyone left the table.

"Well, um, I couldn't eat another bite. I've had enough." Kitty said.

Then Donna got up. "I'm going back downstairs, excuse me."

"I'm gonna go... hide in my room." Izzy said, practically falling out of her chair to run upstairs.

-

When she got to her room, she closed the door behind her. She walked over to her mirror and looked at herself for a moment. She tugged the skirt of her dress further down. Then the neckline further up. Then she just gave up and put on her favorite floral comfort pajamas.

She looked back in the mirror and took her hair out of the updo Kitty had put it in, letting her hair fall over her shoulders. She tied the ribbon that was in her hair around her wrist, and looked at herself one final time.

"Thanks, Bernice." She whispered. She heard a knock at her door, opening it to find Eric.

"Why'd you get changed? Grandma wants to say goodbye."

Izzy groaned. "Just tell her I got food poisoning, or cramps, or scarlet fever. I don't care, I'm not going back down there."

"Is this about what she said earlier?" Eric asked, his voice quiet.

"Which time, Eric? The time she called me a whore, or when she called me fat?"

Eric just sighed and pulled his little sister in for a hug. Neither of them talked for a moment. Izzy rested her chin on Eric's shoulder, and he held her there. He knew Izzy wasn't the type of girl to let rude comments get to her. In all the years of being her brother, he never saw her cry, he rarely saw her complain and fully mean it. She had a heart of pure gold, and everyone knew it.

"Don't worry about her." He said finally. "She's in a good mood, thanks to Fez. I'll just tell Mom and Dad you're not feeling well." He let go of the hug to see dark circles under her eyes.

"Thanks." She said simply.

"No problem. Just... go down to the basement. Talking to Hyde will cheer you up."

"Where's Donna?"

Eric smiled at the sound of her name, which made Izzy a little happier. "She had to go home. Her dad needed her to choose what shoes to wear tomorrow."

"Can't she figure that out by herself?"

"No, he needed her to pick out shoes for him." With this, Izzy started laughing, and Eric knew that she was already feeling better. "Now go down to see Hyde, baby sister."

She smiled. "Okay. Thank you."

-

As she walked down the stairs of the basement, she saw Hyde sitting alone in the middle of the couch.

"Hey, Steven." She said, standing at the base of the stairs.

He turned around to look at her, and he swore his heart stopped for a moment when he saw her in her pajamas, with her hair all messy and down. "Hi- hey. Hey, Izzy Bee."

She walked over to the couch and set a plate of food down on the table for him. "Can I sit?" He just nodded, his voice caught in his throat. She sat, and scooted right next to him, taking his wrist in her hand and moving his arm to go around her shoulders. He complied and pulled her close, letting her rest her head on him, a smile on her lips.

"How do you do that?" He asked.

"Do what?"

"You're always smiling. Even when your own grandma called you all those names, you still smile and laugh."

Izzy shrugged. "I like to look for the good. I don't like dwelling on the bad things in life. There are too many of those."

Hyde moved a piece of hair out of her face. "How inspirational."

She smiled. "I'm gonna make a beautiful life for myself, no matter what happens."

"I know you are."

"So why are you still down here?"

Hyde chuckled. "I made fries in your dryer."

"Ooh, are there any left?"

"Nah, I finished them a while ago."

"What! Then why are you still here?"

Hyde laughed and started to get up. "Oh, you want me gone, do you? Do you?!"

Izzy started laughing and grabbed his hand, pulling him back down onto the couch, where they resumed their position.

"I like these pajamas. Very fun." Hyde said, poking Izzy's exposed stomach, making her squeal. "Why'd you change, anyway?"

"Dress was uncomfortable. Grandma made me upset."

"Izzy Bee, that was you upset?" He asked, trying to contain his laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"You being upset is just changing your clothes."

"You should try it sometime! A change of clothes is like a fresh start." She said with a smile. "Here, this is the first step." She pulled on the ribbon that was tied around her wrist, and grabbed Hyde's hand. He watched as she tied it around his wrist, leaving the pink ribbon in an oh-so-dainty bow.

"See? It's like a completely new outfit!"

"You're too much sometimes." He chuckled.

"Yeah, but you love me."

Hyde stayed quiet.

"You should probably get to bed, Izzy Bee. School tomorrow."

She groaned, sitting up. "Fine." She ruffled his hair. "See you in the morning, doofus."

"Yeah. See ya." He said, getting up and heading out the basement door.

When the door was safely closed behind him, he leaned up against it, his eyes closed.

"Shit."

-

Izzy climbed up the stairs slowly, stopping at her father's chair and sitting down, watching whatever was on the television. Eventually, she fell asleep, and was lightly shaken awake by her father.

"Isabelle, it's time to head up to bed." He said.

She rubbed her eyes and looked up. "What time is it?"

"One in the morning."

Izzy nodded and started to get up. Red put a hand on her back as the two of them walked up the stairs. "I'm sorry about today, Isabelle." He grumbled.

She shrugged. "Eh, s'okay." She paused. "Can I ask you a question, Daddy?"

"What?"

"Why doesn't Grandma like me?"

Red stopped. They were in front of her door now, and he turned her to face him, a hand on her shoulder. "Your grandmother loves you, Isabelle, what are you talking about?"

"She called me all those names today, a- and... and she just loves Eric."

Red sighed. "I think you just remind her of herself."

"What are you talking about? I'm nothing like her. I take great pride in that."