Wednesday, January 1, 2025

1pm

Jacquelyn's House (Philly)

"Girl hurry up and come back so that I can say my goodbyes and we can have our last girl time for a while." Bria said into the phone.

"I know I know." I said laughing. "Our flight is at 4." I added.

I was really going to miss my mamas house and Marcel and I's house in Florida. I was definitely going to miss everyone like crazy too. I didn't think about it too much because I didn't want to get too sad.

"Good. So how have you been since Christmas?" She asked. I knew she was referring to the twins.

"Honestly... I still miss my babies like crazy but every day I open my eyes I know I'm living for them. They're with me in my heart and that's all that matters. And now with the heart necklace Marcel gave me, they're always with me." I said grabbing the necklace on my neck and looking down at it trying not to shed a tear.

"Good good. You know we all hated seeing you like that." She said and I sighed. I hated seeing myself like that too. I wasn't 100% myself but it takes time.

"I know. Honestly coming down to Philly for the holidays really made me feel better. I wish it was with the boys but you know..." I trailed off and she nodded.

"Enough with the sob. I didn't call you to be sad *laughing* I want my best friend feeling better I don't want her feeling too sad right now. I'll see you when you get here I love you bitch." She said.

"I love you too." I said laughing then we hung up.

I looked over to my right to see Marcel sleeping still. This boy better wake up we gotta be at the airport by three.

I giggled to myself at his sleepy ass. I got out of bed and brushed my teeth. I decided to wait until we had to get ready to leave to shower.

I went downstairs and saw my mom on the couch, staring at my baby pictures. I went to sit next to her.

"What's on your mind mama?" I asked her.

She was silent for a moment.

"I took this photo of you on your first visit to Barbados." She said to me smiling weakly.

I smiled and took the photo, looking at it.

"I was a fly girl back then." I said chuckling.

"Yes you were a piece of work too ms. Fly gyal." My mom said giggling and nudging me.

She sighed and looked back at the picture.

"I'm going to miss you. Especially since I'm going back to Barbados soon." She said and I heard her voice crack.

"Oh mama." I said and pulled her into a hug and I heard her starting to cry lowly.

"Mama please don't cry you're going to make me cry." I said and a tear fell immediately after.

We sat in silence... hugging each other. This was definitely the moment I knew was going to happen given the fact that I'm moving and may not see her again until Bria and Q's wedding. I felt prepared for it but once this moment happened, I suddenly didn't feel prepared anymore. I let tears fall.

We sat there and cried for about 20 minutes.

She then got some tissue for herself and some for me.

"So emotional, you definitely got that from me." She said chuckling and I giggled. I then wiped my eyes.

"Mama I love you." I blurted out. I really did love my mom and even though I went to Florida she was always around but now I'm going even farther.

"I love you too baby." She said kissing my forehead. "It's going to feel weird, this is the first time I'm going back to Barbados without your father." She said and I sighed.

"I know mama. But don't get too sad about it. I wish I was moving to Nevada with my boys but it just wasn't god's plan. We both will be fine." I said to her reassuring her and myself at the same time.

~~~~~~~

2:25pm

"Boyyyy if we miss our flight because of you I'm gonna hurt you." I said to Marcel. I was showered and packed up and ready with his and my things in the car and he was still upstairs doing god knows what.

My mama and Jerome laughed at my irritation and I looked at them.

"And he be talking about me y'all. Nobody told him to wake up exactly at 2." I said rolling my eyes. "MARCEL BRING YO BLACK STRONG CHINNED ASS DOWN THESE STAIRS OR IM LEAVING YOUR ASS!" I snapped from the bottom off the steps and he came down the steps.

I can tell he wanted to choke me to put me in my place and he knew I liked that shit but my mama and Jerome was around.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Watch yo mouth shorty and what I tell you about rolling them eyes." He said licking his lips and I rolled my eyes again.

"Alright now when they get stuck ima laugh at yo dumb ass." He said and I hit him.

"Momma J your child is abusing me." He said and my mama laughed at our childishness.

"Yeah yeah. Y'all got a flight to catch so save all that for when y'all get on the plane." She said smiling.

He hugged her and Jerome and he walked out.

I looked at my mama and she looked at me. We both were trying to hold back tears. She hugged me and I couldn't help it, the tears started to flow.

"Happy new year mama. I love you." I whispered in her ear.

"Happy new year princess. Your mama loves you always. I'll see you when I see you." She said and that made me cry harder.

We stopped hugging and I went to hug Jerome.

"Take care of my mama. And thank you for being there. Love you dad." I said to Jerome. I could tell he was shook that I called him dad and said I loved him.

"Love you too babygirl. Of course, I'll always have your mama." He said and I shed a few more tears before wiping them away.

I looked at them both one last time for a long time and gave them a weak smiling before walking out the house and not looking back.

I got in the car and Marcel just looked at me he didn't say anything. He knew I was crying but it seemed like he didn't want to interfere.

He pulled off and we were on way to the airport. In this moment I just wanted to hop out the car and run back to my mama and jump in her arms. I was going to miss her like crazy.

I guess Marcel noticed me deep in my thoughts and he put his hand on my thigh comforting me as he drove.

"We gon be alright ma. It's all going to be ok I promise you Jada." He said to me. His voice and reassurance calmed me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7:15pm

Palm Beach, FL

We just pulled up to the house. Everyone was here already.

We got out and got our suitcases and went inside.

As we went inside everyone we knew down here greeted us. Marcel and his guys and I had my girls and Jashawn.

"Oh my dayssss Jada! I missed you so much merry chrimmus happy new cheer!" Mina said and I laughed at her goofiness.

"Merry chrimmus happy new cheer to you too!" I said and we laughed.

Mia and Jashawn also greeted me. Then Bria jumped on me.

"Frrreennnnn!" She said as I caught her when she jumped on me.

"Freennnnn!" I said just as excited as she was.

They all greeted Marcel and his boys greeted me. Then everyone started mingling in our living room and drinking.

Marcel and I decided to sell our furniture and start all the way fresh. Only thing we kept were the stuff in Jaylen and Kayden's room.

So we were all sitting on the floor which none of us minded.

"So Jada how are you? Haven't seen you much since the incident." Jashawn asked.

"Honestly, I'm a little better that trip to philly really did it for me." I said.

"So what about your business?" Mina asked.

"Well if my business partner sends some of his designs to Nevada I can open a store. Have one side for my products which will be the beauty side and the other side will be for clothing which is Jashawn's side." I said smiling. "And I definitely will have a new line of makeup coming out so the business is on pause." I added.

"I definitely don't mind sending you some stuff partner. Let me know when you wanna get back in business." Jashawn said smiling at me and I smiled back.

We all continued talking and drinking. Everyone decided they'd sleep over until Marcel and I left tomorrow morning.

Bria got up and pulled me to the dining room.

"I know I said I wanted us to have our girls time before you left, but honestly... I'm just glad I got time with you in general. And I'm glad your feeling better before moving. I love you so much girl and I wish nothing but happiness in this new chapter." She said cheesing at me and I almost shed a tear.

"Bria that means so much to me really. Thank you. I know we won't see each other much but I wish you happiness also and I'm excited for the wedding! Can't wait until you guys set a date." I said to her and she cheesed looking at her engagement ring.

We hugged for a little while and she went back to the group but I went upstairs. I wanted to see the boys room one last time.

As I got to the top of the steps, I took a deep breath and walked towards their room.

As I stepped in, I felt my heart stop beating. It felt like I couldn't breathe. I dropped to my knees and stayed silent.

I stared at their beds, seeing the memory of my watching them sleep so peacefully. I saw the memories of when they were babies. I even saw the day we all were in the room and we had just come from the park and had more family time in here.

I missed it all and it came back hurting me like a brick wall.

I heard footsteps behind me, it was Marcel.

He came and kneeled behind me, hugging me from behind as I cried silently.

He didn't say anything he just let me cry.

I kept hearing their voices.

We wub you mama.

Mama!

Hi mama!

I even heard their giggles and laughs and I cried harder. I felt my body get weak and felt as Marcel tried to hold me up.

When's dada coming back?

I heard their voices from the day Marcel was at the trap all day. He left before they had woken up.

Pool time! Pool time!

I heard their voices in another memory. They loved pool days. When I would go in the pool with them and Marcel would watch me have mommy time with them as he sat at the side of the pool.

Then I heard their cries and screams seconds before they were murdered and I felt myself unable to breathe again.

"Jada! Jada baby come back to me! Baby! Breathe baby!" Marcel said while rocking me.

I didn't even realize I was gasping for air I was so deep in my thoughts. I only knew I was crying really hard. I didn't see everyone else in the room either with worried looks on their faces.

Marcel came in front of me and rested my forehead on his as he looked me in my eyes.

"I'm here baby. I'm here they're ok they're in a better place." He said reassuring me and kissing me as I cried hysterically.

He then kissed my forehead and I put my head on his chest still crying, but I breathed like he told me to.

"They could've moved to Nevada with us!" I screamed out and he shushed me and rocked me as Mia came down to rub my back.

I saw Mina get everyone out of the room but Mia and Marcel stayed with me, comforting me.

I cried and I cried until I eventually fell asleep right there on Marcel's chest.

Marcel and I ended up sleeping in the boys room and everyone else spread throughout the house.

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