It was pouring down raining to match my mood and it didn't help that I was crying. My vison was blurred, and felt it was best if I pulled over. So here I sat on the side of the expressway, with no idea where the hell I was headed and a broken heart.

I know a lot of people might say I was lucky it didn't go farther then it did and that maybe I was overreacting, but I wasn't. No matter what the circumstance and the amount that was done. It was still cheating at the end of the day.

My boyfriend shouldn't have been kissing another female. That's cheating no matter how you flip it.

I put so much trust into Cameron. You would never catch me accusing him of much. I let the Leah situation go because when it came down to it, he never entertained her.

This? This was a whole different page in a completely different book.

Chanel was the last girl Cam was in a relationship with. The last girl he had fallen in love with before me. A girl that he still had feelings for and as much as he tried to prove they weren't there and as mush as I wished they had evaporated, they hadn't and it was clean across his face that whatever they had, wasn't a closed chapter in his heart. I refuse to be the monkey in the middle of that.

I rested my arms on my steering wheel and broke down completely.

I picked up a vase and chucked it across the room at a bare wall causing it to shatter against the floor. I started throwing everything in reach. My knuckles were leaking from punching the wall and my head was hurting from me downing any liquor I could find.

Kyra had gotten rid of a lot of it when we moved in.

I had been sitting with my back against the foot of the couch, a bottle in one hand, a blunt in the other. Nothing was going right for me so right now I was in a fuck it type of mood.

My door opened and Cody walked in with Austin behind him. He yanked me up from the floor and pushed me into the couch.

"What the fuck!"

"Get the fuck up! You look pathetic nigga."

I covered my ears at the volume of his voice and squinted up at him. "Get the fuck out man.."

"Pops called me and told me to come pick yo ass up off the floor cause he knew Kyra would leave yo ass when she found out you fucked up with that snake bitch!"

"Get the fuck off me!" I shouted pulling from his grip. "Fuck her."

"Man, Kyra would do anything for you man! Fuck is wrong with you! Go fight for her! Stop being a bitch."

I glared at him and shoved his body hard into the wall. "She don't want shit to do with me!"

"WHOS FUCKING FAULT IS THAT!"

"I FUCKED UP MAN! FUCK YOU WANT ME TO DO?!"

"Fight!" He yelled pushing me hard.

Austin just stood there watching the scene unfold. I know he ain't want to be here. He was probably forced. I'll beat Austin's ass and he's aware. Now Cody? He wasn't scared of shit. Me and Cody could go toe to toe for rounds.

"Leave that bitch alone Cam. Mama don't like her that should tell you enough. Look, Kyra loves you. Make it right man. She's gone give up on you, but she hasn't. Show her why she shouldn't. She called Mama and her cousin crying." He said letting my shirt go and pushing me back causing me to stumble back. "Sober up and go talk her. Find her and apologize, make sure she hears you."

"And clean this fucking house up, throwing temper tantrums. What are you three nigga?" He said before walking out.

Austin grabbed a broom and started to help me clean up the glass all over the floor. "Thanks man..." I mumbled. He nodded.

-

I ran down the court with Chris as we did a passing drill. I missed my lay-up once we reached the end of the court and shook my head.

"You got it nigga." Marcus said patting my back.

I sat on the side line and started to down the water bottle I picked up.

"Cam, you not a loud nigga but why you so quiet man?" Devin asked, taking a seat next to me as we watched the guys run threw a few plays.

"I'm straight.." I muttered.

"Come on man, I've known you for three years. What's bothering you?"

"Nothing, I'm good. Some shit just happened with Kyra..."

He nodded. "She good?"

I shrugged. "I don't know man, but ain't nobody heard from her for a few days and she lost her job cause she ain't come in."

"She missing?"

"Nah, she just MIA. Kaylen knows where she is. I cheated on her."

"Nigga? Again?"

I glared up at him and kissed my teeth. "I didn't do shit with Leah." He shrugged. "It was still a fuck up."

"Fellas!" Coach yelled. "Line up for me."

I help Devin up and we jogged to the baseline together.

"I need to introduce a new play so I want the starting five to come out for me."

Five guys made there way out to the floor and coach directed them to the different places he wanted the guards and the post players and started to run them through the drill. After they had it he started to switch groups so the whole team could learn it.

I stepped on the floor and he stopped me. "Johnson, why don't you just take a seat."

"For what?"

"You won't be needing to learn this..."

I sighed and opened the door to my uncle Charles's house and stepped in, closing the door behind me.

"Charlie!"

Ruby rounded the corner and smiled pulling me into a hug. "Ky!" She said smiling.

"We'll look who decided to stop by. How you doing munchkin." He said pulling me into a hug. Kaylen stood at the door with a smile on her face.

"You okay babe?" I nodded. "I'll get over it I promise." She nodded.

"Maybe it's a sign that's it's not the right timing for you two. Just make sure he handles his new responsibility." I looked down and nodded.

I hated the situation I was in. This thing with me and Cam was so much more complicated than it seemed and I was so hurt and heartbroken, but there was this space still reserved for him and it would never disappear.

Ruby loves to bake so we sat on the couch eating brownies as we watched some action film with Charlie.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out seeing Devin's name. I blew out a breath and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Yo Kyra. I know this is the last thing you probably want to do right now, but can you come down to the house?"

"What house?"

"Yours and Cam's.." He mumbled.

I glanced at Kaylen and she quickly sat up. "Hell no."

"Listen, I know you're upset with him but he needs you right now. Coach didnt play him and he almost had a outburst on the court. He's been missing practice and he never does, not even when his leg was fucked up."

"He isn't my problem anymore.. Where is Chanel?"

"Chanel ain't good for shit. You know how to calm him down... Please just get him to come out. I don't want him to lose his job."

I sighed. "I'll be there in a half hour."

I grabbed my keys and cell phone off of the table and stood up kissing everyone in the room. "I'll see you later Kay."

I got into my car and made my way down to the house.

Devin was sitting on the steps when I pulled into the driveway. I got out and unlocked the door with my key, pushing it open and walking inside.

The house was clean but things were definitely missing. It smelled funny and I frowned. I knew what that was but couldn't place my finger on it.

Devin glanced at me and I kissed my teeth. "Devin, go in the basement and chill out for me.." I mumbled.

He nodded and made his way down the steps.

I took my time up the long stair case and walked down the hall to our bed room.

I twisted the doorknob to the bedroom and almost choked. Smoke permeated the room to the point where I could hardly see.

I walked slowly through it making sure if I stepped on something, I wouldn't trip and fall down, hurting myself. My first thought was that it was a fire in here but there was no flame in sight and the the odor filling the room wasn't normal.

I opened the balcony door allowing the smoke to seep out and add a clear sight into the room as the polluted air was replaced by the fresh evening air semblance.

I turned around now able to see into the room. It was still clean, but the aura was off. Cam was sitting on the bed, back against the headboard with a blunt between his lips.

I looked at him with disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me right now Cameron Johnson?!"

His dead eyes returned the gaze and he shrugged. "Leave me the fuck alone and stop calling me by my full name." He mumbled hitting the blunt again.

"Why are you smoking Cam? Don't you know if they drug test you and that shows up in your system you are done. You can lose your contract, your job, your source of income! You can get arrested. That isn't safe!"

"Why are you lecturing me?" He spat.

I walked in his bathroom and grabbed the can of fabreeze hidden beneath his sink. I started spraying the room and he kissed his teeth. "Fuck! Stop!"

"Don't you dare raise your voice at me do you hear me?" He waved me off. "Kyra shut the fuck up! It's like day one all over again with your annoying ass."

"Why are you being an asshole?" I questioned placing a hand on my hip. We held eye contact for a few seconds before he chuckled.

"Why you being a bitch? Walking in here opening doors and shit? Take yo ass back down the hallway somewhere.. Matter of fact, get out. Didn't you dump me?"

My mouth became ajar and an eerie feeling took over my body as the words left his lips. He looked at me with that same all too familiar glare in his eyes.

My heart sank to my stomach as I sat down next to him on the bed. "Didn't you cheat on me Cam? Why are you being like this to me? You said you would change."

He chuckled. "I say a lot of things."

"I don't want you to do this to your body. Your destroying your brain cells by doing this, you slowly dissipating yourself and I don't want to lose you to something you can stop. Your not a smoker, I've never seen you smoke before so why are you smoking now? Why are you risking everything?"

His low, bloodshot eyes bore into mine and he shrugged. "They not playing me anyway. Fuck would they care if I get high for?"

I sighed. This was about him not getting playing time since his foot healed. I know he was frustrated but smoking wasn't the answer to his problem. Smoking marijuana wasn't the answer to anyone's problems.

"Cam..." I spoke quietly. I carefully reached for the blunt and he let it be removed from his hands surprisingly.I smashed the end into a random magazine sitting on the nightstand, putting it out and sitting it down before averting my attention back to him.

I didn't want to do this but I had to to get through to him. I climbed into his lap and pulled him into me as his head fell into the crook of my neck. He let out a deep breath and wrapped his large arms around my body tightly, pulling me closer.

"That's not the answer.. They don't want to hurt you Cameron, that's all. Don't you dare result to this! This is unsafe and it's only going to clear your mind momentarily. This is going to not only, stop you from getting playing time, you won't play at all because they are going to rip up your contract and no one will draft you because you'll be a flight risk. Baby don't do this... I'm begging you." I mumbled as a tear slipped from my eyes.

"I - I'm ready! Man, I'm fucking ready! I been practicing hard, kicking my ass trying to prove to them that my ankle is okay and they still won't play me.." He mumbled into my neck shaking his head. He pulled away and I noticed his high was wearing down, thank god.

"Then tell them that! Tell them you don't want to be babied. Tell them that your ready to get back on the floor, but don't sit here and smoke weed thinking its going to solve your problems cause it isn't! It won't fucking do anything but jeopardize your dreams!" He shook his head and wiped the tears from my cheeks before nodding.

"Aight. I'm done. You ain't gone see it no more because I'm done smoking. I don't want to see these tears on your face that shit is bothering me. Im done I promise." I nodded. "Thank you."

"I ain't mean to make you cry Kyra. I wasn't thinking straight." I attempted to get off of his lap but he tightened his grip around me which just made me want to get away from him even more. "Let go." I gritted out.

He released me from his hold and I got up and walked to where my shoes were, sliding my feet into them. He sat up on his bed and frowned as I grabbed my phone. "Why are you leaving?" He questioned.

I shrugged and shifted my weight to the side. "I don't want to stay and be a 'annoying bitch' any longer. I'd rather leaving and being a annoying bitch somewhere else where I'm not being cheated on." I turned on my heels and made my way to the door but before my hand could latch on to the door handle my body was being snatched back.

"You know I didn't mean that shit. I never call you out of your name. Kyra I'm sorry.." I scoffed.

"Then why did you say it?!"

"I was mad, you say shit you don't mean when your mad." I shook my head in disbelief and snatched my arm for this.

"I refuse to be your crutch and your punching bag at the same. You can't call me a bitch and expect me to over look it because you were doped up and mad as hell." This whole situation between us was getting more ridiculous by the second. "I feel - " I let out a deep breath and paused to look for the right words to say.

"You feel like what?" He questioned scrunching up his face. "I feel like we are backtracking to when you hated me." I spoke truthfully.

"I never fucking hated you!" He roared.

I bit my lip. "But your talking to me like I'm nothing! Like we haven't been together for almost a year! What happened to that Cameron that my feelings were growing stronger for everyday?Where is he?"

He rubbed his large hands over his face. "You know I hate hate hurting your feelings, but I honestly wasn't in my head. I made a mistake. It's like everything I'm doing to prove I need you isn't working."

"That doesn't make it okay! Every time I make you mad are you going to call me a bitch? Every time you fuck up in a game am I going to be a bitch? Are you going to cheat every time an ex comes back in the picture? Stop treating me like I'm a random bitch. I care about you! I thought I proved that to you!!

"I thought I proved that you too Kyra! I'm not no perfect nigga and I apologize for cheating on you cause you out of everybody don't deserve that shit! What more do you want?"

I scoffed. "Why do I always have to give, give, give, Cam! When you're down I'm the one who picks you up! Who else do you see in this room ? Your the last person I want to be around right now and I'm still fighting you! I want you to mean it when you say your going to do something! I want to know you won't do it again." I spat sternly. "I'm not catching you when you fall next time. My arms are worn out and tired as hell. Where the hell is Chanel?" I spat before walking out.