I found some shade and sat down.

My base instinct was to adventure, so many of my characters did.

Then again, adventurers aren't normal. Sure more heroic than the average person, but attacked, pursued, and uprooted from normal life.

Even characters of good alignment. Keldorn from Baldur's Gate for example. Duty vs family, both good but come at the cost of the other.

I sigh, pulling my head out of my ass, only to notice Scilla approaching. I wave and wonder what kind of conversation she intends to have about the Dire Rabbit.

"Why'd you stay back there?" her face is a mask and words rehearsed. Guess she has been inside her own head recently too.

"I don't know, I recently saw, well heard someone die. The others didn't save her, to see changes you need to start with yourself." I just try and talk myself through it, but I think part of it is that part of me that wants things done the best way. In a tabletop I can at least get a word in, but time has been a luxury in fights.

"You were willing to die instead of doing nothing?" I guess it looks like that.

"I guess I also did not trust you with my life, I took responsibility for our lives. Couldn't run so I fought." Is it as simple as that?

"Well, I guess I didn't know what to expect from a Foreign Worlder. Thank you anyway." She tosses me a fruit of some and leaves.

I bite into the apple sized green blueberry and lose myself in thought again.

My first exposure to fantasy was the old Rankin Bass Hobbit movie. Grand vistas, and lumpy dwarves.

The music too, funny birds, goblin town, and especially misty mountain.

Dungeons deep, majestic mountains, dragons. The words between Bilbo and Gandalf.

"You feel the love of beautiful things."

"To carry a sword instead of a walking stick, just once."

My heart knew before my head did. I was yearned for a fantasy world because I wanted to feel enchanted. To feel bold with weapon in hand, to triumph over enemies.

When I see Barum I guess I know what I want, to see amazing things and when I fight I want to win.