[PART FOUR: Belinda]

Dear Bec, make sure you guard your heart with fire,

Because it is in sieving lies that you become a liar.

Not every hand outstretched is to be held,

And not every sensation burning is to be felt.

The second time I tried to kill Lucifer Heart was a couple months before the end of sophomore year. The had day started with me standing in front of a mirror, adjusting my hoodie so it just barely covered my head. I had just about reached the phase where I actually tried to look good, and of course, Lucifer could not resist the opportunity to clown on me for it.

“Dude, your best bet is just to wear a beanie.” He said, floating beside me with his legs crossed in a sitting position.

I turned to him. “You think so?”

Lucifer spawned a playboy magazine out of nowhere. “Anything to cover up that hairline, my guy.”

I rolled my eyes and went back to shifting the hoodie.

“Who are you even dressing up for, anyway?” He asked, flipping a page, “there’s no one left to give a shit.”

My stomach boiled but I ignored him.

Deciding I had found the perfect hoodie-position, I turned around, grabbed my bag, and walked out of my room. Best believe I didn’t turn to see if the bastard was following me.

Sigh. Yeah, I did. And yeah he was.

I had just closed the door and slung the bag over my shoulder when Chima came running out of her room, which was adjacent to mine.

“Tobe! Tobe!” She hollered, “I got a new-”

“That’s great, Chima.” I gave her a hurried hug and headed down stairs. My mom had a bad habit of eating my pop tarts, even though she was supposed to be on a diet, and that was the day I planned to catch her in the act. That way she’d have no choice but to buy me a new pack.

I clambered down the stairs and rushed to the kitchen.

“CAUGHT YOU!” I yelled, pointing at my mother, who had my pop tart a few inches from her mouth.

She looked at me.

Then she looked at the pop tart.

Then she looked at me again.

At the pop tart once more.

Then she brought it to her mouth and took the biggest bite I had ever seen in my life.

“Mom!” I said.

She chewed. “What?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’? You’re eating my pop tarts!”

She chewed some more. Then took another bite. “See this boy. Didn’t I buy it?”

“No. I did.”

“Are you serious?” Sarcasm dripped off of her tongue like syrup.

“Yes.”

“Interesting.” She pulled out another packet.

I folded my arms. “Well, I caught you red-handed.”

She opened said packet. “Congratulations.”

“Well now you have to buy me a new one!”

“Buy-kini? My friend, go to school! Your mates are paying their parents mortgage, and you you’re hear crying for biscuit.” She hissed and took an extra pack just because.

“Mom!” I hollered, “It’s my money!”

“And who gave you the money?” She said smugly.

I smirked. “Dad.”

She glared at me.

My grin widened.

“Honey,” she called, “can I take Tobe’s biscuit?!”

“Uh, okay?” He said from upstairs.

I turned around. “Dad!”

“Just let her have one!”

Mom cackled and hit me on the head with the pop tart. “You better know your place. I’m the first in your dad’s eyes.” Like all boomer Nigerians, she pronounced “first” as “fest”.

“I’m pretty sure Chima is.” I said with a glare.

Her head snapped in my direction. “Did he tell you that?”

I took the last remaining packet from the pop tart box and left the kitchen with a cackle. I had lost the war, but won the battle, at least.

“Tobe! Before you go!” My dad said, dashing down the stairs as fast as a dad possible could. Behind him, Chima tumbled over her six year old legs, but my dad caught her without even looking.

“I have something to show you.” He said with a smile, carrying Chima at his side like a duffel bag.

He lead me to the garage, opened the door, and turned on the light.

Huh.

There was an extra car. A black Hyundai Elantra, to be exact.

“Happy birthday, son.” He said.

“Happy birfday Tobeeeee!” Chima added, wiggling at his side.

It took a moment to settle in, but I realized then that somehow, I had forgotten my own birthday.

I remember exploding like a firework on crack. I ran to the car and squished my face against the window, scrambling to see what was inside.

“Holy shit!” I said, bubbling like a volcano. “Holy fucking shit!”

“Chineke!” My mom visibly flinched at my language, “we buy you car, and now you’re big boy, shebi?”

“Honey, it’s okay. It’s a special day, he’s just excited.” My dad said, still holding Chima like a bag of rice.

My mom eyed me, and took a bite of my pop tart.

“Lemme see, lemme see!!!” Chima tried once more to wiggle out of his grasp, but my dad is famous for his iron grip.

I turned to my dad. “Thanks, daddy.” I said.

My mom smiled, and wrapped her hand around him.

“It was me who had the idea, you know?” She said, taking another bite. “Happy birthday, you nonsense boy. I hope you remember that’s why I’m your favorite.”

“Sure, mom.” I replied, as she walked over to me, and pulled me into a hug. She placed her palm on my forehead, and kissed my cheek. I could hear here muttering prayers under her breath, and I hugged her back, willing no tears to come out.

When she pulled away with an “amen”, my dad tossed me a key. I just barely caught it, and looked up to see his smile had widened.

“Drive it to school.” He said, “show those your white friends that your parents have swagga.”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I opened the door and ducked in. The seats felt like sitting on God’s lap, and I remember thinking there were no pair of titties I could possibly grab that would even come close to that first grip on the steering wheel. Waving at them, I pulled out of the garage and drove away, a grin stretching from one side of my mouth to the other.

“Holy fucking shit! Holy fucking shit!” I shrieked, electric.

In the passenger seat, Lucifer put on his seatbelt.

“Not gonna lie,” He said, looking around, “this ain’t half bad.”

“RIGHT?!” I bounced in my seat, “I CAN’T WAIT TO SHO-”

And then the car went silent. I didn’t need to look to my right to know that Lucifer had disappeared. His fading laughter was enough to tell me I was alone again.

I sighed and turned on the radio.

#

It still felt fantastic when I pulled out my key and locked my car, but by the time I pulled up to my school, the thunder in my chest had quelled somewhat.

I turned around to face the school, and like everyday, bit my lip. So. Many. Students. All living their lives and writing their stories, connecting with each other and the world around them. In an instant, me, and this incredible gift of mine felt microscopic, like someone could blink us away and wouldn’t even notice.

I turned around to face my car, and the beauty of it bit me. It didn’t matter. Those other three seats would always be empty, and that would always suck. I sighed and shrugged it off. It was a damn good birthday present, and no one, not even me, could take that away.

“That’s a dope-ass ride.” A voice said.

I turned around to see a girl stepping out of her car.

Now, understand something. Back then, I would have fallen in love with an 80 year old Jaden Smith fan is she said “hi” to me enough times. With that in mind, you have to believe me when I say that this girl was frustratingly gorgeous. Her skin was so dark that it glowed, she had phenomenal braids, and lips that were bigger than mine yet somehow looked perfect on her. I remember thinking she looked like a painting.

Corny-ass.

“It’s the same as mine.” She said, grinning as she took off her sunglasses and leaned on the roof of her car.

I looked away from her lips, and lo and behold, it was the exact same car as mine. Color and everything.

It took me a minute to remember how conversation worked, but Lucifer pinched my arm and snapped me out of it.

“O-oh thanks,” I said, hating the way my voice sounded, “Just got it for my birthday.”

“Oh, damn. When did that happen?” She did that head-tilt thing that I’m convinced all girls do on purpose just to toy with us.

“Today, actually.” I said, placing my hands in my hoodie’s pockets.

She nodded and smiled wider.

“Wow. Happy birthday, man.” She looked at her watch. “Imma be late for class, see you around?”

She stood up straight, and the first thing that struck me was how tall this chick was, probably a few inches under my six-foot-one ass. She turned around and headed to the building, but maybe because it was my first interaction in a while, I didn’t want it to end there.

“My name’s Tobe, by the way.” I said suddenly. Behind me, Lucifer’s eyebrows shot into his forehead.

She stopped and turned to me, still grinning. “Toby, or Tobe?” She asked.

I blinked. “Tobe.”

“Are you Nigerian?”

I blinked again. “Y-yeah.”

Her grin widened once more. “Yeah, I can usually tell. My name’s Belinda. Belinda Mensah. I’m Ghanian.”

Another blink.

“You have my condolences.” I said.

Belinda threw her head back and belted a laughter that went straight to my crotch. It was loud, and deep, and if I didn’t have a vagina from all the times I cried like a little bitch before, I definitely had one now. And that shit was creaming harder than Henry Cavill’s wife.

“You Nigerians are all the same.” She said, as her laughter calmed.

I shrugged, with a grin of my own. “If by ‘all the same’, you mean inherently ordained by God to be better, then yeah, I’m not gon’ argue with you.”

She smiled again.

“I’ll see you around,” She said, then she put her sunglasses back on and I swear to God her eyes twinkled, “Tobechukwu.”

And then she walked away.

What trapped me wasn’t the sexiness of her laugh, or the fact that her ass had a gravitational pull twice that of the sun’s, it was the way she said my name. The entire time we had been talking like normal, but when she said “Tobechukwu”, the accent on her tongue was thick, and heavy. Putting even the way I talked to my parents to shame. She sounded a billion times more Nigerian than I did with just that one word, and instantly my dick turned to concrete. Yes, yes, men are all pigs. We know.

We know.

Lucifer whistled as she walked away, and I stuck my finger in his ear.

“Gah!” He said, cringing as he slapped my hand away, “what the he-”

“Lucifer.”

“What?”

“How long do we have till the school year ends?”

“The fuck am I supposed to know?”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m going to kill you before then.”

Lucifer said nothing in response.