《Leave Bad Enough Alone》024. Love, Longing And Robots
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After retracing their steps, they opened the next door on their itinerary, finding a small workshop with a long counter. The bench was covered in tools, as well as many devices in various stages of construction and repair. Several vials and beakers lined the shelves, many filled with arcane-looking fluids.
However, their eyes were drawn to the diminutive humanoid standing before the bench, laboring tirelessly on his projects. No more than four feet high, he appeared to be constructed completely of wood, save for the metallic highlights near his joints, and the perforated plate where his eyes should be. He whirled around to face them, and put his hands up in a threatening posture.
“Who are you?” he demanded. “You’re not supposed to be in here!”
“Just settle down,” Noninja soothed. “We don’t want any trouble. We were just looking for Tintso.”
The wooden man’s gaze switched quickly between the faces of the team members. “Well…he’s stepped out. And I’m in charge until he gets back.”
“You know that’s not true,” Miles smirked. “We found him spiked to death in a doorway.”
His glare shifted to Miles. “Yeah? Well…OK…but I’m still in charge! And you’re not wanted here!”
“So the lady in the kimono isn’t in charge, then?” Lorarona asked.
He visibly twitched. “Sumi? Where? Is she OK? I swear, if you’ve harmed a single hair on her head, so help me, I’ll…”
Noninja faced his palms forward. “Calm down, friend! We’re not here to hurt anybody. We came here looking for information.”
The wooden face seemed to seethe. “Well, you can’t have that either! And I grow weary of your presence! Now, either turn around and go, or find out what happens!”
Miles stared down at him. “You really think you can take all four of us?”
He bristled visibly. “You believe me to be helpless? I’ve learned from the best! I know more tricks than you can possibly dream of! Now, you need to leave, or your next mistake will be your last!”
“This looks incredible!” breathed Clancy, drawing close to the bench. “What are you working on?”
“Don’t touch that!” the wooden man snapped, throwing his arm in the way. “It’s very delicate!”
Clancy continued to stare in wonder at the nearby devices. “Are those examples of electromechanetics?”
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He stood up with a start. “You’ve heard of it?”
Clancy smiled. “Only recently. I find it fascinating! What do these pieces do?”
He turned to face the bench. “Oh…various things. This one here is a self-contained generic-instruction processor. Think of it as malleable clockwork. And this piece,” he continued, referring to the box next to it, “is a rewritable memory core, meant to stack on top of the processor. Something like the roll for a player piano, but much more powerful.”
He patted the next one lovingly. “But this…is my pride and joy. It’s my attempt to create a mechanical soul. My intention is to take an imprint of an existing being and replicate their essence!” He slumped slightly. “But it’s only a prototype. I still have a long way to go.”
“Wow,” Clancy gushed. “You really think you can replicate life mechanically?”
“Well, electromechanetically, to be specific,” the wooden man clarified.
The three other team members leaned in toward each other. “What the devil is happening?” Noninja whispered.
“Just roll with it,” Miles whispered back. “Clancy’s got this one.” Lorarona only smiled cryptically.
“Pleased to meet you, Clancy! My name is Rosalbo, and I’m Tintso’s apprentice.” He dropped his head slightly. “Or at least, I was. Such a tragic loss.”
Clancy shook his head sadly. “The man was clearly a genius. I barely thumbed through his notes; they were way above my head. I hope his work doesn’t go to waste.”
“Oh, not to worry,” Rosalbo declared. “I’ll happily make it my life’s work to ensure they don’t.”
“But how?” Clancy anguished. “I’d love to learn more, but where to start?”
“Oh!” Rosalbo chimed, raising one finger. “We recently produced a series of introductory textbooks!” He stepped back and put his hand to his chin. “And they were reproduced with our devices, not those clunky old mechanical printing presses with the endless leaden plates. Our process is more efficient and durable!” He pointed toward a far door. “Would you like a copy?”
“Would I ever!” Clancy trilled.
Rosalbo struck a jaunty pose. “They’re in the next workshop! Let’s go!” He spun around on his heel and strode toward the far door, Clancy close behind. The other three exchanged amused glances and followed them.
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He opened a door and began to step inside; a hissing, rattling sound suddenly erupted. “Hold on,” he advised. “I have to disable the guardian.” They heard him take a few more steps inside. “Come here, Noodles,” he cooed. “Time to take a nap.”
There was a loud clang; the hissing became muted, but the rattling increased in intensity. A light snapping sound could be heard, then a clamor like an empty suit of plate armor falling to the floor. “It’s OK, everyone,” Rosalbo called. “You can come in now.”
They entered to gape at the mechanical snake, now laying limply on the counter. Rosalbo’s fingers glowed as he pointed to his other arm; holes and splinters in his wrist closed up and disappeared. He looked up; despite not having a face, his pose seemed to indicate a smile. “That wasn’t even a ‘heal’ spell…it was a quickened variant of ‘mend’! It pays to be made of wood!”
“What are you?” Miles interrupted. “I’ve never seen anything…sorry, anyone…like you.”
Rosalbo puffed up his chest and stood proudly. “I’m a wyrwood! We’re a race of magical creatures that escaped the wizards that created us. Now we’re making our way through this world, like any other sentient being.”
“So Tintso wasn’t one of the bad wizards, then?”
“Not at all!” Rosalbo beamed. “He really takes constructs to heart. We’ve been teaching each other a lot.” He cocked his head slightly. “Well, he’s taught me more, obviously.”
He suddenly looked around. “Oh…I was going to give you a set of books.” He pointed to a cabinet above the bench. “Would you be so kind? I could climb up there, but you…well…”
“I’m on it.” Clancy opened the cabinet to find several sets of books, each bound into their own box. He grabbed one set and pulled it down, eyeing the binding eagerly.
“That’s a four-volume introductory set,” Rosalbo explained. “That should keep you busy for a few years. By then, I hope to be ready to spread his knowledge far and wide.” He looked as wistful as a little wooden man could. “I’ve contacted some of my brethren; we plan to turn this workshop into an educational foundation.”
Clancy hugged his new books giddily. “I really hope that works out! It’d be a shame to lose this knowledge.” He looked down sadly. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”
Rosalbo’s shoulders slumped. “And such an undignified death…killed by his own security measures.” He looked up weakly. “He was running from some sort of haunt in the kitchen; I have no idea how it got there, or what to do about it.”
“Oh, we took care of that already,” Lorarona revealed.
Rosalbo perked up. “Really? That’s great!” He gave Clancy a friendly slap on the shoulder. “I’m sorry I was so cross with you earlier. But now I know…your team is truly one of the good ones.”
“Yeah,” Noninja agreed, his eyes shifting. “Good ones.” He eyed Lorarona nervously; she involuntarily drew the purse of holding closer to her.
Rosalbo looked over his shoulder. “Oh…you can take all of those ‘cure light wounds’ potions. I have no use for them.” He pointed to his face. “No mouth, you see.”
“Thanks!” Miles gathered them all up, then distributed them among the team.
Rosalbo looked around. “Well, I need to get back to my work. I’m sure you all can find your way out.”
“So what are you working on?” asked Clancy. “Those looked like some really complicated items.”
“They’re for Sumi,” Rosalbo revealed. “I’m trying to make her self-aware.”
“That requires a soul box?” Lorarona asked.
Rosalbo hung his head. “Tintso really did an amazing job with her, and I’m trying to preserve as much of her personality as I can.” He paused for a moment, as if taking a deep breath. “I love her for who she is. And I don’t want to lose her.”
Lorarona put her arm around Rosalbo and hugged him. “That’s adorable.”
Rosalbo looked up at her; his voice cracked. “Thank you.” He rested his head against her momentarily.
“Anyway,” he continued, “I have lots to do.” Lorarona released her grip. “But thank you for coming by.”
They watched him walk back to the other workshop and close the door behind him.
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