《Leave Bad Enough Alone》023. The Ghosts Of Luncheons Past
Advertisement
The team arrived at the next door in their circuit through the workshop. Noninja checked it for traps, then cautiously opened it and stepped inside.
They found themselves in a simply-appointed kitchen with a counter, a series of cabinets, a sink, and a combination oven/stove. Various utensils, pots, and pans covered the counter, some hanging from the ceiling.
“Excellent!” Miles cheered, clapping his hands once. “Finally, some lunch! Who feels like chicken?”
“Damn it, Miles,” Noninja groused, “focus on the mission!”
“Aw, c’mon!” Miles complained. “I’ll show you how it’s done! Just like dear old meemaw used to make!”
“Guys?” Lorarona warbled. “Something’s wrong. We need to get out of here.”
“Forget it!” Miles countered. “You will not disrespect my grandma! So first, break the chicken’s neck, then tear off all its feathers. Next, pound on it with your fists until all the bones are dislocated and broken.” He put his finger to his nose and winked. “The leaking marrow is what makes it extra tasty!”
A large pot fell from the ceiling and struck the counter, making a loud gong sound, then tumbled onto the floor and clattered as it rolled around.
Miles grinned widely as he chased down the runaway. “Perfect! The chicken’ll fit in here! Wonder where they hide the lids.”
“I’ll help you look.” Clancy began digging through the cabinets under the counter.
“Hey!” Lorarona shouted. “Don’t you feel that? It’s not safe here!”
“What’s your problem?” Miles shot back. “Pots fall off the ceiling all the time! It’s perfectly normal! They need to express themselves too!”
The utensils on the counter started to rustle. Then they began to shake more violently. Suddenly, they lifted off the surface and flew around the room, as if caught up in a tiny tornado.
Advertisement
“What the devil is that?” Clancy screamed.
A ghostly clucking sound echoed throughout the small kitchen.
“Ye Gods!” Lorarona shrieked.
All eyes were on her.
“It’s a…”
Terror spread across her face.
“…poultrygeist!”
The team found themselves pelted by kitchen implements. Although there were knives among them, they tumbled clumsily, impacting only with blunt force. Lorarona twiddled her fingers; white light radiated as an expanding cloud and splattered upon the walls; as it did, a pained cluck erupted, and some of the improvised missiles tumbled to the floor, their moment of freedom abruptly halted.
A ghostly, skeletal chicken appeared in the middle of the tornado, its eyes glowing a sepulchral shade of red, its face somehow twisted into a malevolent snarl. Lorarona fled in terror; Noninja and Clancy followed quickly. Miles remained to bat utensils out of the air, but finally ran out the door and slammed it behind him.
He found Noninja and Clancy looking worried, and Lorarona slumped against the wall, hyperventilating.
Miles turned to look at the kitchen door, irritated. “We need a plan, then we’re going back in there! No more getting bullied by chickens!”
“Go back in there?!” she screamed. “You must be out of your cluckin’ mind!”
She fought to catch her breath. “I only had two ‘cure light wounds’ spells prepared, and I just wasted my last one on that thing. Clancy? Got anything that’ll help?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t think to prepare ‘disrupt undead’. None of my attack spells will work on it.”
“What about our ‘cure light wounds’ potions?” Miles suggested.
Lorarona glared at him. “How are we going to get it to drink something? The damn thing’s not even solid!”
“Sorry,” Miles shrugged. “Just trying to help.” He looked wistful for a moment. “At least we figured out what scared Tintso to death.”
Advertisement
“Lucky us,” Lorarona deadpanned.
“Now wait,” Clancy interrupted. “A poltergeist…in this case, poultrygeist…always has a reason to exist. Whatever prevents it from resting in peace, we need to figure it out and set things right.”
“Hmmm, let’s see,” Miles intoned, his face a mockery of thoughtfulness. “A chicken…in a kitchen…and angry.” His flashed a goofy smile. “Gee, what could its trauma be?”
They all gave him nonplussed looks. “Fine,” Clancy finally spoke up. “Back to the coop?”
Without another word, they trudged down the hallway to their destination, closing the door behind them. They found the chickens continuing to mill aimlessly. “So what do we do?” grumbled Noninja. “Talk to them about their feelings?”
They all felt a chill suddenly descend on the room; the light seemed to dim. Faint strains of a ghostly clucking sound flowed through the area; the chickens suddenly bolted upright, then marched to the coop’s door and began pushing against it.
The team watched this for a few seconds. “Should we let them out?”
“Not me,” Miles groused. “They already attacked me once.”
“Sure,” Clancy replied, unlatching the door. “But then what?”
The chickens marched purposefully toward the door and began pecking at it. One turned towards Miles and glared at him; in an instant, all its feathers raised, and it flapped its wings. He took a step back and eyed the chicken nervously.
“Oh, for the love of…” Lorarona growled, opening the door. The chickens immediately left the room; she followed.
“Did I just get punked by a chicken?” Miles seethed.
Noninja smirked as he left the room. “Only because you let it.” Clancy merely shrugged as he followed. Miles moped as he moved to leave.
The chickens had turned a sharp corner and headed to one of the fire exits, and now waited in front of it. “Seems like they know what they want,” Lorarona laughed.
“They’re not really needed here anymore,” Clancy pointed out. “Mannequins don’t eat eggs.”
Lorarona reached the fire exit and pushed on the latch bar. “Go ahead, little ladies,” she cooed. “Be free!”
They all stood outside the workshop, holding the door open, watching the chickens mill near the street. “What now?” Miles asked.
Another chill overtook them; the chickens bolted up straight, and looked around intently. They heard a soft, ghostly clucking sound, one tinged with relief. Suddenly, the chickens started running down the street, flapping their wings, and took off flying, and were soon out of sight.
Lorarona’s face bore a satisfied smirk. “Willing to bet the kitchen isn’t haunted anymore?” The others exchanged weary glances, then ambled back into the building.
“I haven’t found anything,” Clancy moaned as he finished searching the last kitchen cabinet. The others concurred.
“So we defeat a poultrygeist,” Miles complained, “and we don’t even get a reward?”
“Maybe the chickens left us some eggs,” suggested Noninja. “Solid nutrition!”
“Somehow, I was hoping for more than that,” Miles groaned.
“Well, think of it this way,” Lorarona trilled. “Today, you made three chickens very happy.”
Miles glared at her. “I’m so glad I got out of bed this morning.”
Advertisement
Heroes Shed No Tears
Gao Jianfei: A naive martial arts genius, exploring the martial arts world for the first time in his life.Zhu Meng: A man's man who lives by the sword, but who is more passionate and emotional than he realizes.Sima Chaochun: The most famous martial artist in the world. Completely and utterly righteous. Or is he?Zhuo Donglai: The brains behind Sima Chaochun's brawn, who always has a trick up his sleeve.And the most fearsome weapon under heaven.Heroes Shed No Tears is a tale of friendship and love, of loyalty and betrayal. Secrets upon secrets will be revealed; pay close attention, and you might be able to unravel the mystery before the characters do!
8 250Summoner with Warhammer 40K System/Dropped/
At The Ageless World, there is all kinds of job uses—qi, magic, esp, summoner and other unknown arts.Vance Ironhide was the secret son of Ironhide family, overshadowed by his genius brother and sisters. Every day he waits to receive the strong job from a temple.But he only returns to the family as rank 1 world summoner that can't use any magic with familiar without rank. Everybody sees him as waste but only Vance knows truthWhat? You rank ten world summoner! and can summon dragons and titans !? Then meet my Titan killer tank Doomhammer !!What? You have impenetrable fortress ?! Say hello to my Emperor Battle Titan!What? A genius that multiple jobs? How about TunderHammer to your face ?!!
8 156FINAL WAR: ENTOMONS
In the year 2623... a galactic war broke out between Humans and the Entomons. The war brought humanity to their knees and almost sent them into their extinction. For the sake of their survival and as the last resort, they created a time portal that could transfer particles of information into the past. At the cost of crippling their whole civilization, they transferred the memory of their finest general through the portal, into the body of a 1-month-old baby. --------------------- Come and join us on this thrilling adventure as we explore the Universe.
8 130Outsiders of Xykesh
In the center of Asher's most treacherous waters lies the island nation of Xykesh. Hundreds of years ago, the tyrant Digax fled to it as a refuge after his defeat. Since then, his power has shrouded it in storms and wards which let few people in, and none out. Nearly the whole of the island is now his domain, and what is left is wilderness full of monsters. Though the Mad King himself is a distant figure, his Chosen rule with unquestioned power over their subjects. But their hold is not absolute. On the day Digax claimed Xykesh as his, a blind prophet foretold that an outsider from beyond the island's shores would come, and they would end his reign. And so the King has dreaded their arrival ever since. Many outsiders have arrived on Xykesh, either by accident, or in search of the truth behind the mysteries and myths that have sprung up around the island. The populace has been long conditioned to distrust these new arrivals, but so far, none have proven to be the ones the prophet spoke of. At least, just maybe, until now. Four parts per episode. Twenty-six episodes for volume 1. Updates Tuesdays and Fridays.
8 153The Half Interesting Life of A Blood Angel.
Brought to you by 2 lazy idiots comes a story so whimsical that it literally took the authors a minute and a half to decide if they were gonna write it or not. Discover the wonders of sarcastic comments and run on sentence as a German and an American struggle to write a story with a bit of depth. Watch as the MC says retarded things because we couldn't think of anything for him to say. Actual description: A story about a guy who dies in a way so cliche its almost not cliche at all. Meets an arrogant god and is reincarnated as his angel. This story is somewhat of a comedy however it has a serious vibe to it. This story will have some blood and gore in it however Ima give it a 15+ because we don't know actually if we use u know what scenes.But hey anythings possible :)Arc 1:Minimal Effort Required- OngoingArc 2:Dammit Who Noscoped Grandma- What do you think
8 59Golden Serenity
Aurelie Olivarez an independent, strong, fierce college student comes across with the student body president Pierce De Silva, the friendly, outspoken guy. What could go wrong?Tarlac Series #1
8 110