《Leave Bad Enough Alone》021. The Doting Wife
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Clucking noises could be heard beyond the first door past the lizard sanctuary. “I think we can guess what’s in there,” Lorarona laughed.
“Let’s get to that later,” Miles agreed. “When we’re hungry.”
They continued exploring the hallways. All they found were several other closed doors. “Guess we have to pick one,” Clancy suggested.
“Wait!” Miles interrupted. “What’s that?” He pointed around the corner to something on the wall. “It looks like it’s moving!”
Noninja peered at it from a distance. “A moving picture, huh?” he snickered. “That’d be new.”
Miles walked up to it. “Wow…this looks realistic…very realistic. In fact…I think it’s the lizard sanctuary.”
Suddenly, a green light shone from it; the team watched in horror while Miles shrank to nearly nothing as he was pulled into the painting. He screamed, and abruptly vanished.
His wailing resumed an instant later, somewhere in the distance, followed by a thudding sound and a loud groan. The team quickly navigated the hallways and returned to the lizard sanctuary, where they found Miles flat on his back, clutching his stomach, the assassin vine hovering over him menacingly.
“What happened?” Lorarona called out. “Are you OK?”
“How should I know?” Miles grimaced. “All of a sudden, that painting grew large, I fell through it, and then this green bastard–” He pointed to the assassin vine. “–sucker-punched me!”
“Are you injured?” Clancy probed.
“I don’t think so,” Miles groused. “Just more of that…what did you call it? Solar plexus syndrome.” He moved to sit up. “So what was the point of that painting? Just to feed suckers to the assassin vine?”
“Probably his personal amusement,” Noninja guessed. “Plus a minor security measure. He tells his guests not to look at it, so it only catches unwanted intruders.”
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“Just be glad the vine doesn’t think you’re a threat,” Clancy pointed out.
Miles rose to his feet; the assassin vine continued to undulate in the air, but made no other move. “I think I’m ready for a nice safe door.”
“So…the chicken room?” Lorarona asked as they walked down the hall.
“Sure,” Miles answered. “Why not. I need a break from danger.”
They opened the door to find a well-maintained chicken coop; three hens milled about inside. The ceiling, like the one in the lizard sanctuary, was a series of open flaps that let in air and light from outside; a metal mesh covered the opening. A large crank was mounted to the wall.
Noninja turned the crank one cycle and then back; as expected; the flaps closed slightly, then opened again. “I guess it controls both rooms.”
Miles walked up to the door of the cage and tapped on it; as he did, the chickens bristled and glared at him. “Here, chicky chicky,” he cooed. “Are you friendly little hens?”
All three slowly walked up to the cage door. Miles opened it and reached inside; with a burst of speed, they flew at him and tried to peck him. He withdrew his hand quickly and slammed the door; the chickens bounced off of it and plummeted to the straw-covered floor. They made angry gurgling noises as they retreated deeper into the coop.
Miles eyed the chickens uneasily. “I’m not going in there. Anyone else want to search the coop?” He was met with blank faces.
He coughed derisively. “Fine. Let’s keep moving.” They all left the room and turned right to continue down the hallway.
The next door was set into a skewed panel, forming a forty-five degree angle with the adjacent walls. Noninja did his usual due diligence for traps and other surprises, then opened the door. He took two steps inside, then suddenly stopped. “Oh…excuse me.” The other three crowded around to look.
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Behind the door was a modestly appointed bedroom with a bed, a vanity, and two walk-in closets. What captured their attention was seated at the vanity; it was a pretty young lady in a kimono, with long, straight black hair and almond-shaped eyes, humming to herself. She turned to look at them. “Hello, Tintso. Are you finished working for the day?”
Noninja gaped wordlessly. Lorarona poked him in the back. “Uh, no,” he replied. “Not yet.”
She cocked her head slightly to one side; her bright, friendly eyes seemed almost luminous. “Would you like me to make you something to eat?”
Noninja’s eyes darted around. “Not now. But thank you.”
Her eyes lowered slightly. “Is there anything you would like me to do?”
“No, nothing for now,” he answered.
Her face went blank. “Very well.” She turned away from them and began brushing her hair.
Noninja looked back at his teammates with an alarmed expression; they retreated slowly, and he closed the door gently behind them.
“What just happened?” asked Miles.
“Ye Gods,” Noninja whispered. “She was beautiful.”
“She certainly was very polite,” Lorarona chimed.
“She’s a mannequin,” Clancy declared.
The others glared at him. “What do you mean?” Noninja challenged. “I probably just look like Tintso.”
“Oh, come on,” Clancy chided. “I’ve seen plenty of machines in my time; I used to build them. And that was obviously a robot. Most likely clockwork driven.”
Noninja’s face darkened. “You’re getting awfully close to insulting her dignity.”
Clancy flashed him a nonplussed look. “I’m so sure of it, I’ll prove it to you.” He turned to open the door; the others moved to stop him, but froze in place. They beheld Clancy fearfully as he took two steps into the room.
There was a short pause. “Hello, Tintso. Are you finished working for the day?”
“Envelope vanilla requisition sandpaper,” Clancy droned. The others held their breath and winced.
Several seconds passed. “I don’t understand,” she finally replied. Clancy stepped backwards slowly and closed the door behind him. “Very well,” they heard a muffled voice say.
He revealed a satisfied smirk as he turned to look at his teammates. “Mannequin. Limited conversation skills. No memory of incidental events.”
“That’s amazing,” Noninja panted. “She seemed so real.”
“I distinctly heard whirring and clicking noises after speaking the gibberish phrase,” Clancy revealed. “Definitely clockwork.”
Miles let out a low whistle. “Impressive piece of work. Tintso must be a genius. You’d be lucky to be taken on as an apprentice!”
Clancy smiled. “Wouldn’t I, though? I hope we find him soon.”
With joy in their hearts, they traipsed down the hallway to the next door, stopping suddenly. Lorarona let out a scream.
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