《Aragons》Chapter 15.2
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Raia and Nathan stand in the pleasant afternoon breeze, looking down at the people walking down the street. Raia flicks a strand of hair away from her face and tucks it behind her ear.
Nathan sighs and leans against the railing. "All right, let's go." He runs his hand through his red hair and looks at Raia. "We'd better go back; Kara might have awakened by now."
Raia nods.
As they make their way to the exit, the door flings open and a disheveled young man emerges from the shadows.
"Kara?" Nathan blurts out, his eyes narrowed as he observes Raiden's sloppy appearance.
Raiden looks up. His shoulders move up and down as he breathes heavily, as though he was running. He casts a glance at Nathan before shifting his gaze to Raia.
They lock their gazes on each other for a moment, tension filling the air. Raiden then drags his feet toward her. He looks at her for a few seconds before speaking with a hesitant tone of voice.
"How are you feeling?"
Raia is taken aback by his question, but her face betrays no emotion. She arches an eyebrow at him and tries to read the person standing before her. "I'm perfectly fine."
Raiden averts his gaze. "Y-you healed me."
"I certainly did."
Raiden stiffens at her icy voice and direct answer.
Raia frowns and brushes past Raiden, but he grabs her wrist, preventing her from leaving.
"Wait, Raia."
Raia raises an impatient eyebrow at him over her shoulder.
"Thank you and I . . . I'm sorry," Raiden whispers, drawing a puzzled look from her.
"What?"
Raiden lowers his head, still holding her wrist. "I'm sorry you had to bear my pain."
"Sorry? What are you sorry for?" Raia's voice holds a bitter note, making him flinch. She squeezes her fists tight, piqued by his expression. "Kara, you're too soft for a warrior. That's the problem with you. You're far too kind and emotional. You're blinded by the desire to save everyone, even though it's impossible. Being an Aragon does not necessarily imply being a savior. We stain our hands with someone's blood. We end lives. We . . . destroy an existence. We can't just be a savior alone, Kara."
Raiden opens his mouth, but no words come out.
"Keep this in mind," Raia continues, her gaze fixed on him. "Kindness can sometimes put you in danger, and it can sometimes result in even greater tragedy."
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Raiden freezes. He then lets out a dry chuckle and shifts his gaze to the floor.
"And that's why being a destroyer is better?" Raiden asks, earning a puzzled expression from Raia.
"What?"
He raises his gaze to meet her perplexed eyes. "I've been observing you as well, Raia, your words, your actions . . . and the way you perform your duties. You're not here to save, are you?"
It is Raia's turn to be speechless.
"It actually saddens me to see you purify and destroy souls without pity; you're like a cold-blooded disciple. But I have no right to judge you, as you may have reasons for acting that way. And it's not that I'm questioning your sense of morality. But . . . is being a destroyer alone really the answer?"
Raia stiffens. She feels as if he stabbed her in the chest, making her feel stuffy and uncomfortable and confused. Her lips part and her gaze drops, but she says nothing.
Raiden lowers his gaze, his face unreadable. "I . . . I used to be like that."
Nathan chooses that moment to step between them.
"Kara, she healed you, and she's now fine. Everything is okay now, so don't worry, man," Nathan speaks calmly.
Raiden's face contorts in rage. He grabs Nathan's collar and glares at him, tiny sparks of fury visible in his eyes.
"Everything is fine now? Don't you know how much she suffered because of me? She suffered more than I did! When she heals, the pain she feels is magnified. Do you think my guilt can withstand that?"
Nathan freezes and his face turns pale. His eyes slowly shift to Raia. Of course, he's already aware that Raia bears the pain of the person she's healing. But he has no idea she will suffer that much.
"Your guilt?" Comes Raia's bitter voice, seizing their attention. "Don't you think you're being a little selfish? You're always thinking about your guilt. I just healed you because I owed you. I repaid you because you saved me from the Blood Demon. So don't mope about it because I didn't do it for you. And don't apologize to me because that's insulting."
Raiden stares at her with widening eyes, speechless. He opens his mouth to say something, but instead turns on his heels and walks away.
Raia watches his receding figure. She lowers her head and mulls over what has just occurred, ignoring the sudden tightness in her chest. She's well aware that she was too harsh on him, but she is too frustrated for being confused.
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"Is being a destroyer alone really the answer?"
Maybe Raia is wrong. Maybe she's just blinded by her selfish desire for freedom. Or perhaps she is simply afraid of disappointment, which is why she chose the easiest and simplest path. But what's wrong with that? If being a cold-blooded disciple makes things easier, then so be it.
She's willing to play the bad guy if it means having the sharpest blade. For herself. For the world. For a brighter future. She doesn't mind being the villain in someone else's play. Because the truth is, she already is, at least in the minds of some others, particularly those whose lives she has mercilessly destroyed. Whatever they call her, a savior or a destroyer, a hero or a villain, her goal is all that matters. After all, she's doing it all to make the world a better place.
"How are you feeling?"
She already expected this to happen. Of course, Raiden would be upset if she healed him because he is afraid of the guilt that will haunt him. But she hadn't expected him to ask about her wellbeing. None of the people she healed before had done so. None of them cared about her.
However, was Raiden's question asked out of genuine concern or out of guilt?
His eyes conveyed both.
But most of all, it is the first time someone has rejected her healing. Raiden's behavior is unlike that of any of the humans she had healed before. He isn't like the other humans who are greedy for her power.
He rejected her miracle and is even worried about her.
Nathan lets out a sigh, breaking the stillness, and runs his hand through his hair, giving Raia a sheepish expression. "Hey, I'm sorry about that. But we can't really blame Kara. He's going through a rough patch."
Nathan's expression changes as he looks at her, and Raia immediately recognizes what that expression means. She pierces him with an icy glare when he opens his mouth, preventing him from expressing any sympathy for the consequences of her power.
No more pathetic sympathy that only serves to make me look pitiful.
Nathan clears his throat and says something else instead. "Look. Frankly, I'm surprised myself. I wasn't expecting Kara to act like that. He wasn't really that emotional."
Raia looks at him as if he's just said something stupid.
Nathan sighs. "What I mean is . . . Kara isn't the same as he used to be. He was colder than you are."
Raia gives him an icy glare, causing him to take a step back. "I-I'm just kidding," he stammers like a child.
"Anyways, I ain't kidding about Kara. He has changed. When I first met him two years ago, he was nothing resembling a human being. It's as if he has no emotions at all, that he's literally devoid of them. He was always out hunting Outcasts, whether or not he's been assigned a mission. And once, when we were sent on a mission together, I couldn't quite believe what I was witnessing. He's a merciless warrior, truly deserving of the title Destroyer of Darkness. He was killing Outcasts without a second thought. He appears to be a weapon himself, a machine designed solely to kill demons."
Nathan narrows his eyes and crosses his arms across his chest. "He wasn't even interacting with us, so I assumed he was antisocial, but boy, he didn't care about anything other than hunting."
He stretches his arms and smiles at Raia. "But as time passed, he began to change. He's now capable of displaying emotions, which is a good thing because emotions are what defines us as humans. So I'm relieved to see Kara finally acting like one." Nathan cracks a dry chuckle. "But I guess his emotions are getting a little out of hand, eh?"
Emotions.
Raia lowers her head and looks down at her hands. Something is tearing at her heart, but she has no idea what it is. Could that be her emotion? She doesn't understand it, and she doesn't give a damn.
"Emotions don't suit you, kid. Just be a good girl and heal without complaints."
Raia balls her hands into fists. Emotions are what make us human? Perhaps being a weapon has overshadowed my humanity.
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