So long as Raiden can remember, he woke up in the headquarters two years ago with no memories. Not even his own name.

"Your name is Raiden Oliver Kara."

It was Cyrus who told him his name, the first person he met.

But Raiden didn't care. He didn't care about anything or anyone at all. He didn't even care about himself. Not even an ounce of emotions was flowing in his body. He was like an empty person.

When he received his Blessing after a week since his wake-up, he carried out missions, hunted, and destroyed Outcasts like an automaton. But he learned how to feel emotions little by little from purifying Outcasts. Their despairs are like poisons spreading through his veins and infiltrating his empty heart.

The demonic beings are the reasons he can now feel emotions that he didn't have before. Emotions he always contemplates being a blessing or a curse.

Because at this moment, his emotions are drowning him.

Raiden grabs Cyrus's collar, anger and guilt crashing through him like a storm. When he speaks, his voice is low and trembling.

"Did you just say Raia suffered more than I did? Is that . . . Is that also the consequence of using her gift? It doubles the pain?"

Cyrus maintains a neutral face while staring at Raiden's blazing eyes.

Raiden lowers his head. "Dammit, Raia." His voice is almost a whisper as a wave of guilt washes over him.

He can't take the thought of Raia going through immense pain to heal him. Isn't that a little much for Raia? They aren't even . . .

"I don't have such a thing as a friend."

Raiden clenches his teeth, frustration coursing through him. He can't pretend it doesn't hurt after Raia flat-out denied him back there. But Raia reminds him of someone he used to know, someone he thought he'd already forgotten. The way she slays demons without a trace of pity for the souls she frees evokes certain memories and emotions in Raiden. She reminds him of his past self.

A living weapon.

But when she heals, she effuses warmth and pleasure akin to morning sunlight - a promise of a brand new day and a fresh start. Raia's healing is like hope; it is warm and comforting.

She's cold and warm at the same time.

Raiden has this urge to know more about her. He wants to see more of her face than the blank and cold expression she always wears.

He wants her to be his . . . friend.

"Where's Raia?" Raiden asks in hushed tones, still clutching Cyrus's collar. His knuckles have turned white.

Cyrus's face softens. "Kara."

Raiden grips his collar tightly and glares at him.

"I'm asking where is Raia! Where is she?"

Cyrus flinches, surprised by his sudden outburst. Raiden had never before shown such intensity of emotion, and he's aware of it himself. But he doesn't mind. He's changing and he can't control it.

Cyrus gently places his hands on the boy's shoulders. "Kara, calm down. I already told you that Raia did it herself. She wanted to heal you -"

"I didn't want it!" Raiden growls. His dry lips quiver as he fights back tears, repressing an emotion he is unfamiliar with. "I didn't want her to heal me. I just can't bear the thought of other people having to bear my pain! Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. I . . . I don't want anyone to suffer because of me. I don't want to feel any more guilt."

He lets go of Cyrus's collar and speaks in a raspy whisper. His eyes feel heavy from unshed tears.

"These emotions, they're burning inside me, and I hate it," Raiden says before walking out of the room and slamming the door shut behind him. He clenches his fists as he stares down the long white corridor ahead of him. Then he closes his eyes and takes a deep, painful breath before walking away.

***

Following Raiden's departure, an eerie silence descends into the room. For a brief moment, Cyrus and Sonnet listen to it, their heartbeats filling the void. They have a sagging posture and their heads hang low as if defeated.

"My, I guess I can't do anything. He's changed a lot, that boy," Cyrus says in a calm, tempered voice. He is worried for Raiden; the youngster is changing quickly, which he sees as both good and dangerous for the Order, the Ministry, and Raiden himself. "His rapid change and current emotional state are concerning, and a disciple should not succumb to his emotions."

Sonnet issues a soft sigh. "It will not be good if the leaders find out about this. They won't like the change in Raiden."

"I know. They weren't even pleased when I told them what happened. He was severely injured. If it wasn't for Raia . . ." Cyrus's voice trails off, and he sighs. "I fear I may have spoiled Kara a little bit. I could have prevented his change, but I didn't."

A smile forms on Sonnet's lips. "But, you know, I kind of like this new Raiden. To be honest, I don't like the old one; he was too bland and inhuman to be called a disciple."

Cyrus raises a brow. "Raia?"

Sonnet shoots him a glare. "Raia is nothing like that. She may appear that way, but I have a feeling she has a good heart. I think she's a good person on the inside."

Cyrus doesn't respond, but he understands what she means. Raia's behavior bothers him, he won't deny it. But he knows what she went through before Simon adopted her. And she's still a kid, so she has a lot of room to grow. Both as a disciple and as a person. But that doesn't mean he won't keep an eye on her. Raia is now a part of their organization, so he's her responsibility.

"But for Raiden," he says after a long silence. "Speaking from the leaders' viewpoint, things aren't looking good for him. And I can't be biased as one of the Ministry's leaders. Maybe it's my fault he's the way he is. But we can't let him deteriorate any further. His emotions are primarily impacted by the demons he slain. And if he isn't careful, he will one day succumb to despair. That is what the Ministry is concerned about."

Sonnet casts a glance his way. She walks up to the window and pulls back the curtain to look out at the blue sky. The sun shines through the window, hitting the empty white bed and embracing her with gentle warmth.

"Don't overthink it, Bishop Galbraith," she says, her voice soothing and hypnotic. "Keep in mind that we have Raia. That girl, I believe, is a divine miracle."

Cyrus lowers his head and gazes at the silver cross ring he wears on his right hand. "Yeah. I suppose she can look after my brother for me."