《How a Total Loser Died and Became a World Boss》The Adventurer's Guild
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Twenty minutes later, I entered the Filam adventurer’s guild hall. It was a rectangular three story building made from smooth sanded logs with a steeply pitched roof. The place was practically deserted, I only saw a couple people, snoozing on one of the picnic style tables. I put up my hood and walked with purpose to the thirty foot long wall that was littered with job fliers and a ten feet wide by seven feet tall color coded map.
“Fuck yeah!” I couldn’t help but do a small fist pump as I studied the huge regional map that not only detailed what types of creatures could be found nearby but also included the average levels, abilities, and weaknesses of each one listed.
I studied for several minutes, committing the information to memory. After that I approached the long polished reception counter. Of all the many fantasy tropes regarding adventuring guilds, I hoped one of my favorites was about to come true: the classic, extra sexy, and super charming guild receptionist. I stood patiently for a minute or so, and finally noticed the tiny bell. I tapped it and a weak ding rang out.
“If a bell could be depressed...” I muttered.
A pitiful groan from the other side of the counter, on the floor made my face screw up in confusion. I stood on my toes and leaned over to peer down just as the top of a black haired head rose up to greet me. The timing could not have been better (or worse). The crown of the person’s head smacked cleanly into my chin. Unfortunately for the rising person, My stats made that the equivalent of bashing into a sturdy wooden beam.
“Oops! Oh crap you’re bleeding.” My eyes flared open in panic as I looked down at my unintended victim.
It was a girl, and she may well have been the receptionist of my dreams but with the smeared makeup, blood, matted hair, and shocked face I couldn’t really tell.
“Ugh.” The girl held her hand to her gashed scalp and looked up at me. “New guy? It’s gonna be a minute, gotta go wrap this up...” She was oddly calm, treating the bizarre meeting as though it happened every day. She stood slowly and wobbled after she spoke.
“Hold on, I can heal you right now.” I stopped her as I scrolled through my inventory. A second later I held one of my basic orange recovery potions out to her.
“I appreciate that, but I still gotta get the bleeding stopped first. Can’t wait for a potion.” She answered, steadying herself on the counter.
“It’s instant.” I said quickly. “Just drink it and trust me.”
She looked at me dubiously but took the potion anyways. “That’s obviously bullshit, but can’t be any worse than what I was drinking earlier.”
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She drank the potion, and an orange glow flashed over her body from top to bottom. Her injury was healed instantly, the fresh blood disappeared from her skin and clothes, and she appeared to be revitalized. Even her bloodshot eyes and the dark circles under them cleared up.
“No way...” She said, mystified. “It even cured that!?”
“That?” I wondered aloud.
“My hangover!” She reached across the desk and took me by the shoulders. “My hangover is gone!”
“I’m glad. So do you have a moment to answer some questions?” I tried to guide the conversation away from my potions.
“You can’t just give me a miracle potion and then expect me to drop it just like that!” She resisted the attempt.
“Alright, it’s a potion from my country very far from here.” I gave an unsatisfactory answer and prodded. “Now can you help me out?”
“I suppose... Did you not want to sign up?” She asked. “You’re clearly strong enough. My head can vouch for that much.”
“Not right now. I really was hoping for info on anyone that teaches basic spells or if there is a guidebook I can buy.” I said hopefully.
“I’d give up on spells. You’re too old and too physical. Spells take a high Soul investment, way too high at later levels like yours.” She waved dismissively.
“All the same if you have any answers I’d appreciate them.” I persisted with a winning smile. Too old!? This body is twenty-nine. Maybe I have forty year old man expressions... Somewhat hurt thoughts zipped around my head.
“Okay, handsome no need to throw the big dimples at me.” She laughed, probably picking up on my insecurity. “There’s a small library on the second floor. The librarian can show you around and for a price will try to help you. My name’s Fraya by the way.”
“Gray.” I answered back, officially adopting the name that the old crone from the market had called me. “One more question. Does this guild have a freelancer policy?”
“It’s kinda frowned on, but yes. Non members that complete posted jobs with proof may claim the reward minus twenty five percent to the guild.”
“Good to know.” I said. “I ended up killing a gnoll earlier. Is there any kind of bounty for that?”
“A gnoll, really!?” She replied, seeming impressed. “I assume you collected an ear?”
“Yep, two ears actually. And the rest of his head.” I was suddenly holding the still frozen solid hyena like head in my hands. Fraya squeaked and hopped back in surprise.
“It’s huge!” She narrowed her eyes and looked closer, a growing sense of shock overtaking her features.
“The other three were smaller and there weren’t any good parts to collect unfortunately.” I said casually.
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Fraya slowly used a cloth to tilt the hideous thing back, exposing its teeth. “This can’t be...” She noted the one rotted and black nub of a canine in the gnoll’s mouth and gasped.
“This is...” She didn’t finish, running around the counter and bolting for the stairs. “Wait there!” She shouted behind her before disappearing.
I suddenly had a bad feeling... Less than a minute later Fraya returned, bounding down the stairs dragging a short, stocky figure by the hand.
“Oi lassy, what’s the idea dragging me down here?” He was obviously a dwarf.
At the bottom of the stairs he managed to yank his hand away from Fraya, straighten his ruffled blue tunic, and hand brush his long grey beard back into place. With his dignity mostly salvaged, the dwarf stumped over to where Fraya was frantically pointing.
He spared me a quick glance and then looked at what was resting on the counter. For a split second the tired old green eyes widened but quickly recovered.
“Big gnoll sure, but I’ve felled bigger.” The dwarf patted the air as he spoke mostly to Fraya. “What’s the problem? Give the lad his pay and a pat on the back.”
“Look in its mouth, guildmaster.” Fraya ordered with her arms crossed.
“Its mouth...?” The dwarf’s voice suddenly tightened. He moved with a sudden speed that I could not have predicted. It was more like the dwarf appeared next to me suddenly.
“Were there three other gnolls with this one?” The apparent guildmaster’s voice had changed along with his movements. It was low, concise, and commanded instant respect.
“Yes there were.” I responded.
“And?” The dwarf prodded.
“Shattered into thousands of pieces.” I said nonchalantly, making a kaboom gesture with both hands. “Were they supposedly strong?”
That last question seemed to hit the dwarf quite hard.
“Those three were known as the Blackfang Gnolls, their leader here was a direct subordinate of The Warlord that’s been ravaging the area. They have killed hundreds of people between them, including my former party.” The old dwarf seemed to be experiencing a wide range of emotions and thoughts. “I won’t pry into how you accomplished this. My name is Karom Stonesong, and you have my deepest thanks for ending the rampage of this beast.” Karom lowered his head in a deep bow as he expressed sincere gratitude.
“It fell into my lap.” I waved away the serious moment. “Fraya did mention there was a librarian here that could help me out with some magic lessons. If I could just get those covered and have someone help me with some common sense information about this area I’ll consider us square.” I finally guided the conversation to what I really wanted.
“Is that really all you want?” The guildmaster almost seemed suspicious.
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have a guildmaster owe me a favor.” I admitted. “I’ll never ask you to do anything shady or dangerous before you ask.” I quickly amended.
“Deal.” Karom stuck out a thick, hairy knuckled hand for me to shake as he answered. “I’ll lead you to our resident magic expert, right this way.”
I nodded and followed closely behind as Karom ascended the stairs to the guild’s second floor. Down a short hallway and through a curtained doorway, we entered the modest library. The smell of leather binding and musty tomes mixed with the somewhat sweet odor of the many oil lamps being used to light the labyrinth of tall book shelves.
The sensations here once again reminded me of the reality of this place and my smile widened. I felt so damn lucky.
“Raj, you back here?” Karom announced our entry loudly. I winced, the sudden booming voice seemed somehow offensive in the solemn and silent library.
“Indeed I am.” A quiet and sleepy voice responded a second later. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this intrusion?” A silhouette emerged from a shadowy area between two shelves and I raised my eyebrows in curiosity.
Brown speckled wings adorned the back of the approaching librarian. The voice was slightly raspy and androgynous, but their body was very feminine. The librarian called Raj had a slim humanoid figure with wide hips and a flat chest. She (I confirmed her to be female as she stepped fully into the light) had thin arms that ended in long delicate fingers. Her legs were shapely from the knee up, but from the knee down resembled giant eagle’s talons that clicked on the wooden floor as she moved. In spite of the features reminiscent of the mythological tengu, Raj’s face was actually very pretty unlike the typical frightening demons portrayed in fiction. Her eyes were huge and golden, seeming to drink in everything with a single glance, and the tufts of brown hair that stood out from the rest of her hair reminded me of a great horned owl. Her clothes were surprisingly skimpy. A thin white skirt that draped at an angle, cut all the way up to the hip on the left and just above the knee on the right. The angle barely covered her privates, and a simple strip of fabric tied around her thin chest just kept her from an R-Rating. I’m not ashamed to say I was into it.
“I see.” She said after hearing a quick explanation. “I shall teach you as much as I am able.”
With that, Karom excused himself. His clomping footfalls echoed into the distance as Raj led me to a small table where we could begin my lessons.
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