“Behold the goddess’ divine prophecy!” A white robed middle aged man shouted from atop a wooden box on the street corner as I walked along the bustling main street of Filam.

The assumed priest was holding a poster sized piece of yellow parchment with dark script scrawled on it. Even from fifteen feet away, I could make it out. I frowned as I read it.

“Hey everyone! I sent a champion to help out, be nice to him!”

“Even her prophecies are half-assed.” I marveled. “Guess you gotta admire the consistency.”

I carefully studied the area as I walked. The streets were extremely wide, allowing for an open air market to sprawl between the many established permanent stores. Colorful sheets of fabric decorated the stalls, attractive men and women beckoned pedestrians to this stall or that, and the many merchants loudly announced their wares. Minstrels, singers, strongmen, acrobats, and a variety of other performers competed for attention and tips.

“Healing potions, antidotes, cures for all ails here!” An elderly woman shouted from behind a wide table laden with flasks and herbs.

I walked up to the table, smiling. The various potions were meticulously labeled with their effects and price. There was a reddish potion in a gilded vial securely locked in a display case. It didn’t have a label, likely to encourage inquiries. I decided to bite.

“What’s that red potion?” I asked the woman, a sixty-something year old crone wearing a cream colored dress with her thick grey hair secured in a bun.

“You have quite the eye, child!” She announced dramatically. “That is a mighty healing potion crafted by the famous Starling of Crown City. It can heal between thirty and fifty Life based on legitimate Appraisal.” The woman dramatically said.

“How long does it take to work?” I asked, trying to hide my disappointment.

“No more than a day!” She seemed to be expecting a big reaction based on her leading tone.

“Out of curiosity, what would an instant healing potion that could heal exactly fifty Life be worth?” I asked, referring to the weakest potion I kept on me (of which I had several hundred).

“There’s no such thing as something like that!” The woman laughed. “I guess you’re a bit ignorant in spite of those fancy clothes. An instant potion he says!” She added, bumping her half asleep husband with her elbow.

“Hmm. In my country such a potion isn’t so rare.” I adopted a superior air of my own. “Do you happen to have the Appraisal skill yourself?” I asked her.

“Well no but Griffon down there at the bauble stall does. Oi Griffon!” She shouted at a tall, rail-thin man a few stalls over. He sat behind his table with crossed arms and a scowl on his scraggly face.

“What is it, hag?” The man barked back.

“Mr. Gray here says he has an instant potion!” She hollered, ignoring the insult.

It may have been a crude reference, but I liked the name. “Gray...” It had a nice ring, and I did need to come up with a new character name after all...

The tall man blew a long suffering sigh and stood up before lazily sauntering over to us.

“You shouldn’t tell such ridiculous tales. I’ll appraise the snake oil you got scammed into buying for twenty copper. If it’s the real deal I’ll give you twenty copper just for the privilege of seeing it.” The man said to me.

“I quickly navigated through my menu and a dull potion that looked like orange juice appeared in my hand a second later.” The two merchants stared at me with suddenly wide eyes.

“Where did you pull that from!?” The man sputtered. “Don’t tell me you have a spatial artifact!”

“Something like that, here’s the potion for your appraisal.” I deflected the question and placed the potion on the corner of the peddler’s table.

“Well then, right...” The man had suddenly lost his belittling attitude as he looked at the orange vial. “By the holy goddess in her infinite wisdom, I demand that the unknown be revealed to me. Appraisal!” He also used the dramatic incantation as he pointed at the potion.

“Well!?” The crone prodded as the man’s mouth fell open.

“Fifty Life... recovered instantly! The appraisal suggests this could even restore destroyed limbs if administered early enough!” The exasperated man looked from the potion, to the crone, and finally back to me. “H-how, where?”

“I’ll give you fifty gold for it right now!” The crone suddenly seemed to be full of energy as she cut in front of the wiry man.

“She’s trying to rip you off. I’ll give you seventy five! No! A platinum coin!” The man recovered in time to counter the old woman.

“Don’t you butt in charlatan!” The crone snarled back.

“I happen to have two of these at the moment.” I held up my hands to placate them. “How about a hundred gold a piece and you can each have one?” I proposed.

The two merchants accepted instantly. I allowed the man named Griffon to appraise the second potion before finishing the deal. I stored the gold in my inventory and excused myself. The merchants waved and told me to come back any time. I could hear them celebrating as I moved away.

I knew that I could have haggled much higher, but I wanted to avoid creating a spectacle. I spent a long time surveying various goods, feeling out a rough exchange rate. A copper was around a dollar give or take twenty five cents. Ten copper exchanged for one silver, and ten silver made a gold piece. By my estimation, those two weak potions had earned me roughly twenty grand in terms of the currency I was familiar with.

I bought some plain clothing that would draw less attention along with a pair of sturdy leather boots and a comfortable brown traveling cloak. I then paid for a room at a reputable inn and went to that room to change. I returned to the inn’s common room a few minutes later which sported a score or so dining tables and a long bar tended by a cute young brunette woman. I picked a corner table so that I could watch and listen with as few eyes on me as possible.

My immediate goals were simple: blend in, secure local currency, find an optimal place to gather useful information, and start grinding out levels. I needed more detailed information about the relative strength of creatures and especially other humans in this world. I wouldn’t risk using Appraisal at random, now knowing that it could be detected by others whom shared the skill.

I also wouldn’t seek out any allies or affiliations until I was certain where I stood on the various issues in play. If there was an invasive faction bent on slaughtering humanity, then my prime directive would be to oppose it as a matter of simple survival. I didn’t intend to let anyone spoil my kickass second life, dark god or otherwise. I let my musings trail off as the afternoon deepened and a small crowd began to filter in.

“Sonya! Four goblin grenades for the newest C Rank team in Filam!” This command came from a burly looking plate armored female carrying a huge silvery warhammer on her back. She removed her full helmet as she finished her order and I perked up.

“Beast people!” I exclaimed quietly. Ariel had gotten some things right after all.

The woman was around six feet tall with a wild mane of red hair, sharp features, golden eyes with slitted pupils, and finally long lynx ears that twitched excitedly. Her three companions were also cat folk, two men and a little girl though none of them were close to her in size.

The males appeared to be scout or rogue types. They wore light supple leather with earth toned hooded cloaks and high boots. They looked similar enough to be brothers and both had rounded ears and faint leopard spots in their golden hair. Their weapons were basic recurve bows and thin rapiers.

The other cat girl appeared to be far too young to be an adventurer. She was just shy of five feet tall with her tiny body hidden by bundled light blue, fur trimmed robes. Her eyes were huge, blue, and innocent. Her skin, hair, and fur were snow white with black spots. Her overall look gave me the impression of the nearly extinct snow leopards from earth. She was the smallest and most quiet of the bunch, but somehow drew all of my attention.

My gaze followed them as they walked up to the bar where four small glasses filled with bright green liquid were lined up and waiting. Sonya was a masterful bartender it seemed, and had completed the drinks in a few seconds.

“Wait, why four?” Sonya asked the big cat woman. “Tili always drinks berry tea or plain water.”

“Special occasion.” The tiny girl’s voice was so quiet that I had to strain to make out her words.

“Okay but is she really old enough for these?” Sonya asked, sharing my exact thoughts.

“Rude. Tili is older than Sonya.” The girl answered sharply but still with the same voice that was a mixture of unbearably cute and thoroughly bored.

Even that brief exchange contained a useful piece of info. Adventuring guilds used the old cliche lettering system to rank their members. With that knowledge and knowing this group was ranked C meant I could feasibly gauge an average adventurer’s strength. I doubted seriously that the big warrior would have the Appraisal skill, and decided to risk it.

“Appraisal.” I focused my attention sharply as I whispered the command. An info panel appeared.

Laguna Redmane

Level: 14 XP: 1% to next Level Body Age: 51

Life: 48/48 Soul Energy 4/4

Strength: 22

Endurance: 24

Soul: 2

Agility: 18

Skills:

Feline: +1 Agility Per Level

Physical Resistance: 5/100

Melee Mastery: 6/100

I was slightly surprised. I had been expecting much higher numbers. Was the leveling process stunted here? Maybe with this being a real world and death being a permanent consequence perhaps very few were willing to risk their lives for higher rewards? My scan was suddenly and violently interrupted as the info panel literally shattered into real life pixels before my eyes.

“Huh!?” I grunted, looking in panic to the big warrior. She was ignoring me completely, already taking her third goblin grenade shot. Panning my vision right and down, I gulped.

The little cat girl they had called Tili was staring at me. Her eyes were glowing bright blue and she was shaking a clawed finger back and forth slowly.

I tensed, not sure what would happen next. The child merely blinked slowly once and continued to stare. She took her cup of green mystery liquor in both tiny hands and sipped it without breaking eye contact for what seemed like ages. What was she thinking?

???????? ??????? has used to view your Statistics. Appraisal Blocking Unavailable.

No goofy chant, no chance to block, not even a warning. Shit.

“Invasive.” The girl’s voice sounded from right next to me! Even though I was still staring at her as she stood at the bar across the room looking at me. “Isn’t it?” Her voice prompted.

I reflexively jerked my head to where the sound was coming from. There, sitting on the table next to my untouched bitter ale was a domesticated kitten sized snow leopard staring me down with the same bright blue eyes as the cat girl. Before I could form any words, she (the kitten) continued to talk as normally as could be.

“Spying on stats is perverted. Champion of Ariel. Stats that make no sense in relation to your level. A world spell. What do you want with my young cousin, Pervert Champion?” The tiny leopard’s extra long and fluffy tail swished back and forth as it inquired in a string of odd sentence fragments.

“Pervert? Ah screw it I can’t really deny that at the end of the day. This time I just wanted to learn the average strength of adventurers here and thought a C rank would give me an idea of the grading curve.” I was proud of my ability to adapt to bizarre situations, but this was pushing it.

“He didn’t lie. Tili knows when they lie. Why doesn’t he just ask? A coward?” Her odd and inconsistent syntax was jarring and exhausting to listen to. The way she had switched from ‘you’ to ‘he’ made it feel like I was talking to different people.

“I don’t want attention just yet. If people find out I’m the topic of their goddess’ half-assed prophecy I won’t be able to get a damn thing done without a hassle.” I carried on with honesty, guessing the spooky cat really could spot my lies anyways.

“Guild ranking below S is public record. No need to peep. Good luck Pervert Champion.” With yet another slow blink, the cat faded from sight as though it had never been there.

“Guess that’s that.” I let the embarrassment at being scolded in such a bizarre way slip away. “She’s right. If there’s a way to access monster and adventurer info without revealing who I am directly, then that’s much better than trolling for info in a bar.” I took a drink of my room temperature ale and grimaced. It was like drinking murky soap water that had been used to clean dirty pennies. I refused to commit the sin of alcohol abuse though, and quickly finished it. I tapped my diaphragm with my right hand while covering my mouth with my left, coaxing out a subtle burp that tasted just as terrible as the ale.

I noticed people dropping a few coppers on their table as they left earlier and recognized the tips for what they were. It was a cultural custom I was familiar with and actually felt comforted as I dropped five copper on the table before I fled the scene.

The afternoon air was cooling rapidly as the sun began to dip below the western mountains. My new destination was the adventurer’s guild, and a person or guide to teach me some basic spells and common sense.