Bolting up wake, I was sweating practically having a panic attack. Fourth time, it was the fourth time this week I woke up like this. Sighing, I write a note to Rex to watch over the twins for me and that I must not be disturbed, knowing he would agree. I put on my trench coat and jumped from tree to tree, until I got to a black steel room above section 6 in the west wing. It was locked up, well until I grabbed the key from my neck and went in, then I locked it again.

Going past the mini hammock, mini fridge, and towards the back of the room where there is a chest and an old fashion desk is. Opening the chest I got out one of the many journals and started to write. Then I put it back, grabbing a bottom journal and start reading it.

Journal 5

Belongs to Jade BloodRose

‘ May 20th

Hey guys and gals its me again, Jade. Guess what. My brothers who are twins are bringing me to the park. I will wright more later

………………………………………………

It. Was. AWSOME. The way the roar coaster went whoosh, whoosh. Damien and Reavin even gave me a present. A skelly-animal. See ya suckers’

‘May 30th

Rose could be RED, Violets would be BLUE, why did this happen to you, so innocent, so wild, nothing could beguile, yet here you are, broken and filed. ‘

Sighing and heaving as I saw that poem I closing the journal and picking another one. To be honest it was terrible. No one knows about this. Why would they know, I keep this hidden anyway. Some dreams are not clear, while others are blunt and straight to the point. I really don’t get it. Why would anyone get it. No one can help me. I can not trust anyone with…… THIS?!

Journal 14

Jade BloodRose

‘ February 17th

Why. Why. WHY. WHY. WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?!’

‘April 2nd

No , no, No, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! This CAN NOT be happening , this CANT be real. Why, Why did this have to happen?!’

‘ June 6th

It was always this, that. It has to be a dream, yeah just a dream. Could it be a dream. Why could this not be a dream. Out of all the things, it had to be this. Why not something, no someone else. Why, why ,why ,why!’

‘ June 17th

Happy birthday to me,

You're in pain,

No one will help you,

Happy birthday to me,

Another year of suffering,

Happy birthday to me,

You can only trust yourself,

Since they are all dead,

It was all your fault,

You should have know,

So happy birthday to me.

Happy birthday to me’

Heh. There are tear stains on this one. And more are coming. Why was this one prominent? Well, that day is coming. After all I do talk to myself. Why should anyone stop me. I have to face this, no one but me should face this. Not that it matters, everything is fine, my life is alright, no one would ever care about pain. They just want happiness, so why would I ever show anyone this. The answer is I won't. Oh. Look at that tears, why I am crying, why am I crying, I’m alright, I’m not hurt, I’m completely fine. Right?! Sighing again I kept reading.

‘ June 20th

Song : Rising Life

Pain is all I feel in my heart. The paradox is about to start, no one care, no one hears, no matter what I start. I am still invisible to the world, even though I scream, right in front of them. They don’t hear, they don’t see me, all they is a shell of me. Hiding and rotting away, like I was nothing, but to be left out in the dust. So easy, to throw away, but so hard to let go. Know matter what I say, you don’t listen and they do the same. You think your helping, when you're not. You say it gets better, when it does not. Do not see, do not hear, the cries of pain and fear. The memories of the past are sealed, nothing changes , always haunting. Nothing I do, nothing you do, nothing anyone could do, can change what has been. What would be. It will always be there, no matter how hard we try, it will always be there. Push it away it will always come back. Yet the pain never ceases in my heart, so I put on a smile. In this masquerade. Hoping no one would see. To made them think I’m happy, special, and unique. When I am not, yet here I am.’

Hmm. I don’t remember this. It must be a coping thing I did. Heh, it's almost cute in a dark twisted way. Almost like a Grimm Tale or a speech, I wonder why it’s a song not that it's quite unique. Oh well. Looking at my phone it was 10:30 a.m. , wow I was skimming and reading for like what 4, 5, no 5 hours and 45 minutes. Alright mind, let's read a different one.

Journal 1

Jade BloodRose Lightberg Rubén

‘ December 31st

Brrr. It's cold in here. I changed my last name twice now, I think I’m safe from them . I can not believe they are still after me. They already got my family. Heh guess they want to finish the job. My sapphire blue eyes are now a chocolate brown, with my contacts in. My blackish brown hair is now a creamy light brown tone by bleaching it a bit. Should have done this from the start, I have to be careful, who know who or what I could trust now a days. Hello… Oh right you're just a book. Maybe one day I will put these journals out into the world. You never know who would want to read these.’

‘ May 3rd

Guess who is in high school. If you guess me you are correct , if you guess yourself you're either wrong or half correct. I will be graduating at the age of 17. Now who wants to guess how I got into high school. Give up. It was the police. No kidding, a police officer saw me wandering around and brought me here. Now I am admitted as a student here. I have no idea how that happened, and I am still trying to process it. Wouldn’t you.’

‘May 6th

Wow. Actually wow. I am now labeled as an orphan. You know that’s a bit insulting, I am not even in an orphanage. I guess that’s what they call you when you have no parents.’

Journal 5

Jade BloodRose Lightberg Rubén Arc

‘ June 3rd

Let's see met triplets. The twins and Vivian Arc who gave me her last name. they are helping me and a few others with finish my, well now our new home. Though the triplets are banned from Russia, I don’t exactly know why.’

My that was interesting to say the least.

“Jade” I heard someone shout for me.

Well I guess I should get going. Putting back the book in the chest I locked it. Then closed the door to the room and locked that. After that I ran toward the voice who was yelling for me.