《The Magical Girl Substituting me is...my Uncle?!》My Uncle?!

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The now cracked clock inside gym wall reads 1AM.

"Ugh…" Aika wakes up with a splitting headache, no idea how on much time had passed since she lost consciousness and confused on where she is.

(Where...am I?)

She notices how dark it is and how there is a mattress comfortably below her with a cozy blanket on top of her. After checking her surroundings, Aika realizes that she is inside the gym storage room of her school. A portable heater is placed next to her, warming her during this cold and windy night.

(Was everything …just a bad dream?) Aika thought to herself. However, the moment that she tried to stand up…

"Ouch!"

The stinging pain on her left ankle makes her reel in pain and realize there is a bandage wrapped around it. Proving her that unfortunately, everything that happened thus far was completely real.

"Bwahahaha!"

"Hyahahah!"

"Nyahahahaha!"

She can hear a somewhat distant yet very distinct laughter of three people outside.

Aika slowly tries to stand up and walks towards the entrance, leaning herself against the wall for support.

Exiting the storage makes her realize that almost all of the damage done to the gym was already repaired. Even the cracks on the floor, broken doors and holes on the walls were fixed. Making Aika question her sanity over the events from earlier for a moment.

The moment she slides the door open, the first thing Aika is greeted with are piles and piles of glass bottles and beer cans scattered all around. Lots of snacks, candy wrappings and potato chip bags are also littered amongst the mess. In the center of it all lies a tiny dimly-lit lamp plugged with a small battery, a cat and two men can be seen leaning against a tree.

The housecat and a man sitting with his legs crossed are grinning.

“Ahem!” The other man in front of them is clearing his throat and then takes a deep breath.

Their wide eyes completely wide open, almost holding their breath. Attentively looking to the plump man, who suddenly tries to speak out, while covering his mouth with his right hand.

"Uwaaa!!! Oji-Chan! There are monsters under my bed again! Can… Can I sleep with you for tonight?!"

An uncannily accurate voice of child, pleading and crying comes out of him. For some reason, the voice seemed disturbingly familiar to Aika.

(What the hell are they doing?)

Feeling uneasy for some reason, she decides to hide behind some bushes and eavesdrop on their conversation for a little longer before revealing herself.

"HAHAHA! I Ca-Can't breathe! Nyahaha!" The talking cat can't hold herself back and starts to roll around, laughing hysterically.

"Hyaahhaha! No way! That doesn't sound like the current Ai-Chan at all!" The other man is smacking himself in the legs, laughing so hard that he is almost gasping for air.

Now that she had gotten closer, Aika had just realized that the man smacking his legs is covered in scales and wearing nothing but a speedo over him during this chilly and windy night.

"I know right?! She used so such a cute and innocent child back then! By the next day, I had to promise her that I would not only hide the fact that she wet the bed that night but also had to help her get rid of the evidence!"

The three in almost complete unison, fall in hysterical laughter and falls on their backs.

The fat man then takes a huge chug of the bottle of brandy on his hand, suddenly turns into a gloomy mood and says:

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"*Sigh* I really miss those days. Back then, she used to call me Oji-Chan all cutesy looking and full of loving for almost everyone, me especially. She just calls me 'Fucker', 'That thing' or 'Pig' nowadays… why do all kids have to grow up someday?" Shedding a very small tear as he vents.

"You kinda have your own share of the blame about that too Sensei! Part of the reason why Aika matured sooner than most children is partly because she realized how the others saw you for what you were. She didn't want to get close to you ever again nor become someone like you in that manner."

The cat tells him with brutal honesty and yet still a having some warmth and care in her tone.

"Hate to admit, but you are probably right on the about this Kittypaws. *Sighs* But maybe things are actually better this way…"

He then shows sad and forlorn smile, puts the bottle down, retrieves a pack of cigs from his chest pocket and picks up a bizarre lighter that produces no flames. It lit things up through contact the with the very high temperature it produces on its sides.

Deciding that she had heard enough, Aika jumps off the bushes. The rustling sounds of the bushes and her footsteps catches the trio's attention. All three of them find the girl slowly walking at their direction.

"Oh, Ai-Chan! You are finally awake! You feeling okay? Still hurting somewhere?" Shinjirou questions his niece while running at her direction as well.

But the feelings Aika felt for her uncle concern could only described with one word…

(Repulsive.)

"Why…" She mumbles with her face downcast, the dark of night hiding her expression from them.

"Hm?"

"WHY ARE YOU, NYAMO AND THAT THING DOING HERE?! WHAT IN THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!"

"Gpyah!" Ero-Sensei winces in pain as Aika uppercuts him and he is sent flying three floors high. Perfectly landing on his face.

“Hyah…” She also performs a Suplex on the scaly man next to him and he moans in response.

Aika makes her way towards the tabby cat and points her fingers at the cowering Bink.

"Why are you clowns partying?! Just what is going on here?!"

She raises her voice loud enough to echo across the now deserted school grounds and its large, lush garden.

"Ai. I can explain. But, you might want to sit down and listen to me very carefully. The situation is rather complicated…"

Nyamo's jumps over her shoulder and pats Aika on her back. Showing seriousness that she otherwise had never saw in her feline friend show before.

“Fine!”

Aika decided to calm down and did as the cat asked.

"Thanks. First thing first! Do you remember that strange orb that Bink-san was holding?"

"Yes." Aika nods curtly.

"Like I had said earlier, that thing has somewhat voided our contract as a Sacred Beast and Magical Girl. It also negated any form of contact you have to feel or harness any Mana. I was able to last for that long inside of you because of your absurd amount of innate Mana but we needed to transfer the remainder of it towards someone else before it ran out or else I could become dormant for god knows for how long and who knows what would have happened to you! My plan was to direct it towards a blood relative of yours and improvise from there. I was confident of reaching Akira-San fast enough to rescue you but…"

She lightly smacks Aika on the head with her paws before continuing.

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"…because of the last minute jealous tantrum you threw, my sense of direction went haywire along with my soul. Losing control of where I went and ended possessing the closest person to us…"

Nyamo pauses herself for a moment and facepalms herself before continuing to speak. Making Aika lean closer and closer.

"… which just happened to be your uncle. Who was passed out drunk in the storage room behind us..."

"That's me!" Shinjirou, who seemingly already had recovered from his niece punch and introducing himself, while balancing a bottle with the tip of his nose.

"Ohhh!" Both Bink and Nyamo claps at the clown show. Holding a plaque in their hands indicating ten points.

Aika smacks all three of them for not taking the situation seriously enough. The bottle is put on the ground and Shinjirou sits next to her, a large bump protruding off his head.

"Kittypaws explained some things to me. Your job is exterminating demons, serving justice and all that jazz right? No wonder you looked busier than ever and were coming to class or home late almost every day! For…how long has this been going been on behind our backs?"

Shinjirou asks his niece with a sympathetic look on his and place his hand on her shoulder. She still felt disgusted about his touch but felt compelled to answer her concerned uncle.

"About five years, give or take.”

“I see. It matches out on when your otherwise perfect attendance had started to falter…” Ero sensei mumbles as he appears to be thinking about something.

“Also, let me make something very clear! You are the last person on the planet that I want feeling pity and sympathy for me! I DON’T WANT OR EVEN NEED THEM FROM YOU! So, how long will you stay stuck with this Pig, Nyamo?”

She slaps her uncle hand off her and turns herself towards Nyamo. Pretending he is not even there as she insulted him.

"Honestly? Who knows? Could be days? Weeks? Months? Maybe years?

Nyamo claims it with a shrug and starts to licking herself.

"WHAT?!" She lifts the kitty and puts her face mere inches away.

"What we tried isn't exactly conventional! Even by Magical Girl standards! I was completely desperate when I thought about this plan! We quite literally have no way to know when the full extent of your Mana and affinity towards it, properly returns to normal or when my soul will be untangling Sensei's. Which is why the three of us were trying to come to an agreement…"

"Us Three? Ah!"

Aika just realized the third person in question still had his head buried in the soil, where she had left him.

Having his head pulled outside of the hole by Aika and her uncle, the lizard man is breathing haphazardly and exclaims:

"Phew! I think saw my mother beckoning me for second there! Very scary stuff!"

Bink says that but, his body is still tingling and his face flushed with arousal.

“…”

Shinji had a sense of Déjà vu at the demon's response for his near death experience or some reason and decided to keep himself quiet.

"I now understand why my uncle is here. But, what is the cockroach doing here as well?!"

"You are so mean Ai-Chan! But that's what I love about you!"

Bink moans as he does the trademark of his character and poses. Once again, forming a bridge with his body and arms are crossed. His head once again sinks into the soft soil beneath them.

"Don’t call me that fuckface! Considering you almost killed me earlier, I have every right to-"

She tries to answer but her uncle suddenly cuts her off, yelling:

"Wait, You what?! Bink, you fucker! You said that you never tried to kill my niece before! OORAAAAA!!!"

Ero-Sensei punts him off the ground and caught in the air while holding Bink by the ankles, spinning him like a top. There was enough force in it to cause a small cyclone which caused all the junk scattered nearby to be caught in the storm.

Aika shields her face with an arm while Nyamo flew away, barely holding herself against one of a tree’s branches.

"Waaaahh! I swear that I didn't lied Sensei! I would never harm a fly, much less kill one! Especially someone like her! Nobody hurts me like Ai-Chan does! Killing her would only be a waste to me! I only wanted to score a win against her and scare her for a little bit because of her condescending attitude! Please believe meeeee!!"

The lizardman pleads his attacker. The spinning comes to a sudden halt and he lets go of Bink, causing him to crash against a tree. The teacher dives in after him, grabbing him by the neck and look him deep in the eyes for a solid minute. His plump figure was hundreds of times more imposing than normal.

"Ok! I will believe you! Don’t make me regret it!" Shinji answers.

"Thank you very much! I mean, thank you very much!"

Bink bows and thanks Shinji twice for some reason. A blissful look adorned on his face.

Nyamo, landing back at the floor, ignores the two tomfoolery and continues her explanation from before:

"Anyways, we are considering forming an alliance with Bink and having your uncle working for us in your place until the situation remediates itself. I already sent word about our situation in a report to the Boss, Nya!"

"You what?!" Aika yells at the absurdity.

"Bink-San agreed to be caged until we deem him trustworthy enough and to prove himself, promised to give us info on some of the demons that are causing problems across the city and rest of the world. Possibly the rampant Seven Deadly Sins as well. Your uncle also hasn't learned how to detect Mana much less demons and you can't do that yourself anymore either! We need Bink to act as some sort of alarm for the three of us!"

"Why would the cockroach here help us exactly? He’s been an enemy of ours for many millenniums at this point!"

Bink steps in and cordially bows before explaining himself.

"Allow me, sweet Aika! It’s kind of embarrassing but you see, the only reason I ever stood in you guys way was mostly because I was bored, alone and no else came close to harm or amuse me for so long other than Arcadia and its Magical Girls! But now, after these millions of years by in my lonesome existence have ended! I made a new friend to play with and that completely understands me!"

"And who would be sick enough in the head to call you a friend?!"

"Funny thing you asked!" Shinjirou intervenes byputting his arm over Bink's shoulder and points at himself with the other.

"That idiot would be none other than me!"

(Of course YOU would.) Aika has the immediate thought and face-palms herself.

"Yay-yay Two idiots! Hooray!" The two morons celebrate while dancing around with a mug of beer in each hand.

(I cannot believe we are actually considering these two clowns to become our allies…)

Aika then takes a look at the cat behind her. Nyamo had her ears perked upwards, her eyes glowing in a white light and looking like she is speaking to herself.

"Yes…We are free tomorrow…Understood. We will wait your visit, Crow-San!" Nyamo eyes stops glowing and began to stretch her feline body.

"Who was that?" Aika asked her.

"Since the Boss is too busy with her college exams and thesis until tomorrow evening. I called Crow-San for instructions over what to do next! He promised to call the Boss in the morning and said that after clocking out of work, he will come here and personally analyze the situation himself."

"Thank god! I doubt Crow-Senpai will go along with this insanity, given how serious he is about everything." Aika exasperated with relief.

Shinjirou, who had already stopped dancing with his new friend, takes a peek at his watch.

"Anyways, it's getting late! Il give ride you home Aika! No need worry about your parents either! I texted your father while you were sleeping. Told him that you were with me."

"And how do you intend to bring me home exactly? You don't drive!"

Aika answer with venom and blatant discomfort. Shinji gives a small nod and chuckle as a response.

"Haha! Harsh but also true. I haven't turned on the engine on Carmen-Chan (His motorcycle) for almost two decades by now! Despite constantly fiddling with her moody needs every week! Which is why, we are using this instead!"

The teacher pulls the school public bike that was parked nearby.

"I know we aren't supposed to have two people on it but, we can make an exception for today and look the other way, can't we?"

"I rather walk all the way home using my hands than get on top of this with you!"

However, Shinji didn’t budge nor hesitated for even a second before answering:

"Not happening! Sorry but you will have to put with me for a little bit longer! It's too dark and dangerous to leave you go alone at this hour. Besides…"

He gently pokes her bandaged leg.

"Urk!" Aika grits her teeth, loses her balance and Shinji pulls her over to him so she leans on his chubby body as support.

"There's no way I letting you walk home with an injury like this. No matter how much kick and scream. I will ride you home and that's final."

Sensing the harsh tone in his voice and unwillingness recede with her whims like usual, Aika became somewhat meek before her uncle.

"F-Fine! But you are not setting a single foot at our place!"

"Didn't planned to! In case you have forgotten, me and your parents aren't exactly on the best of terms to begin with! Now, shall we go my princess? Your carriage awaits you!"

It's true. Despite having hired his older brother back, the two never spoke with each other in these last two decades. Only greetings during meetings or exchanging texts with Aika’s father for work-related reasons.

The double goes for Makoto. Shinji once dived out a window, in order to avoid eye contact with her…while being on the eighth floor. Despite the dangerous stunt, Shinjirou only ended up with a sprained ankle that apparently healed the next day.

For some weird reason, Aika, Akira and Setsuna were constantly being taken care by their Uncle whenever her parents were busy and dropped off on his apartment. He sometimes had also entered the Tsunaboshi to babysit the three but only when their parents weren’t around. Despite constantly pass out on their couch during evenings, Shinji never once had slept in their house during the night.

"What about those two?" Aika asks while ignoring her uncle joke, pointing at both Bink and Nyamo.

"We still have some snacks left and promised Sensei to take care of the cleanup on the mess we did to the school! We are the ones responsible for it after all! I'll drop by in morning Nya!"

"Okay then..." Aika was too tired to argue anymore and went with the flow, sitting at back of the bike with her uncle at the front.

The two Tsunaboshi starts to descend the slope and disappear into the night.

The cat and the demon waving their hands at the two as the two disappear into the night.

"…and there they go." Bink says with a more serious voice.

"…" Nyamo becomes silent.

"I know. You want me to talk about the man who gave the Magekiller’s eye, right?

"There is that too but… I am being meaning to ask you about something else first..."

"Oh? What's that?" Bink tilts his head in confusion.

"What in the world are you wearing? What happened to the bodysuit?"

"Oh that! Sensei asked me the same thing earlier! The cloth that I'm wearing is also part of my body so I can move them as I wish see? Just like this!"

While frowning his brows, Bink’s speedo starts to suddenly start to turn, twitch and stretch by itself like it was an extension of his body. Covering Bink's body all the way up to his neck and then instead of transforming into a speedo, Bink is now wearing a leotard.

"…"

Nothing but silence could be heard from the school after the two Tsunaboshi's left and the almost half an hour that it took Nyamo to stop from being stunned speechless. Her last words were:

“That’s actually amazing Nya!!”

***

Meanwhile, on the way downhill and crossing the streets.

The pair were completely silent all the way home, only the sound of pedaling and Shinji grunts for being of shape could be heard in the dead of night.

Aika had managed to contain her displeasure and hug her uncle's large back for balance. In complete contrast to how uncomfortable the ride was for Aika, Shinjirou was humming and smiling. Not stopping from doing so even after had he dropped her home…

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