《Conscious, Conscientious》30. What Kind of Person Am I?
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(The Dream World)
Zayza watched as Fewpar hopped from the damaged silver mountain towering before her. He gracefully glided down, until he landed facing her in the immense field of blue and green grass.
“So you remember your dream combat training as well, I see,” Fewpar noted. “How disgustingly disappointing.” His tone had darkened from its usual nonchalance.
Zayza remained mute, staring at him blankly.
“I hate you, Zayza.”
A blue glow emanated around Fewpar, and then he raised his hands to the sky. Still glaring at Zayza, he closed his fists.
An airy sound, almost like a chorus of voices, rang from above. It suddenly grew deafeningly loud. Zayza jumped to the side, maintaining perfect balance, as a blue ray of light came crashing down and exploded violently where she had just stood.
Looking up, Zayza saw what she had expected: a shimmering blue cloud in the sky, dropping more rays of light like a hailstorm.
Even still, she didn’t know why she expected it.
Zayza shot backwards to avoid an incoming explosion. She dodged it just barely enough to grant herself footing and leap out of the way of another light ray. Countless more followed, filling the air with booming, ghostly echoes. Zayza sidestepped every single one, her expression never changing from sheer unconcern.
Her movements were perfectly calculated, twirling farther and farther away from Fewpar with each dodge. Then, she knew it was time.
Another light ray came rocketing down, with no time for her to move. She twisted her heels outward, took in a calm breath, and welcomed an increasing numb sensation in her chest. With a flicker of green light, her physical existence vanished.
The blue light crashed against the ground, leaving a hole, but Zayza’s body was gone. Only her mind remained, and it felt nothing from the impact.
Knowing this state couldn’t last much longer, Zayza returned. She set her eyes on Fewpar in the distance, and then blinked slowly, like a sleepy cat.
In the next instant, her face was directly before his.
“NO—” Fewpar started, his eyes widening.
Zayza’s knee smashed into his stomach and ribs, her eyes still fixed on Fewpar’s as he keeled forward. Then she spun elegantly, green light glittering from her hand, and used the momentum to crash her fist into Fewpar’s temple. A dark green puff of energy shot out, and Fewpar was sent soaring.
He didn’t touch the ground until he was practically a spec in the distance, grass and dirt shooting up everywhere as he skidded against it face first. When he finally came to a stop, he lay mangled in the Dream World earth.
Zayza blinked again, and warped to his location. She charged green energy into both of her palms.
Fewpar stood, the grass and dirt falling off of him unrealistically, leaving no stains. He faced her, his mouth quivering with rage.
“YOU—” he began growlingly, but he caught himself and contained his utter fury. “I don’t care what it takes. I shall make more of your tears fall, until you run out. You’ll weep like a lost child. You will—”
Zayza snapped both hands, and the green energy in her palms instantly lunged at Fewpar, exploding with a direct hit. Again, he flipped into the air.
I’ll protect Lammy, Zayza thought.
~
The horse carriage rocked when it rolled over a bump, causing Zayza to start sliding out of Lammy’s lap. He quickly adjusted, embracing her even more securely as she slept.
Lammy watched one of his tears land on her cut-up shoulder. He wished he could pretend it was all fake: her torn clothes, the streaks of blood, the bruises…
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Najinzu had broken her.
Then his watery eyes went to the tranquilizer dart stuck in her neck. Now she was stuck in the Dream World, and Fewpar could torture her all he wanted. Lammy thought of removing the dart, but he feared Najinzu would notice.
He was too afraid for even this slight motion.
Please, Zayza, don’t give up, Lammy thought. No…I have no right to expect that of you. I didn’t even try to help when you needed me…
“Ah, the northern border wall,” Najinzu noted aloud from outside the carriage. He mushed the horses and they trotted slightly faster.
Lammy looked forward. Past Najinzu’s back, he could barely make out the silhouette of an enormous wall towering in the sky, past all the trees.
“Your time runs short, boy,” Najinzu hissed back at him.
~
(The Dream World)
The instant Fewpar crashed back onto the ground, Zayza warped to his position, floating above him.
With more snaps, she sent dozens of green energy blasts at him. Fewpar scrambled to avoid them, rolling around frantically, but it was no use.
“ENOUGH!!!” he screamed.
Tiny specks of light much like stars appeared between Zayza and Fewpar. Then, Zayza felt herself being tugged out of the air. She tried to resist, but was too late—the miniature stars pulled her down and she bashed against the ground, beside Fewpar.
Wasting no time, Fewpar pounced onto her and started throwing frenzied punches. He filled each with his blue light. Zayza winced, feeling a pounding throb throughout her whole body with each impact.
“YES! YOU’LL FEEL MY PAIN, ZAYZA!! ALL OF IT!!” Fewpar roared.
Zayza scrambled to make a defense, and eventually managed to cross her arms in front of her face. A green shield of light flashed into place from her arms. Fewpar’s punches bounced off of it, ineffective. Then she pushed the shield forward, and it lifted Fewpar off of her. With a twirl and a snap, Zayza stood back up and exploded her shield.
Fewpar tumbled to the ground, but managed to recover quickly. Fuming, he charged straight at Zayza.
She simply raised a dainty hand and waved it, as if to shoo him away. Glowing blades of grass rose from the ground beside Fewpar and soared past him in a gust. Taken by the wind, Fewpar lost his footing and tumbled clumsily to the ground.
He lay still for a moment. Then Zayza could hear him laughing softly to himself. “You don’t deserve to beat me…” he mumbled.
Zayza said nothing.
“Oh, still the silent treatment, I see…still think you’re above me, I see…still think you know best, I see…still think you’re the hero…” Fewpar abruptly shot to his feet. “YOU DON’T DESERVE TO WIN!!! YOU DESERVE PAIN! YOU DESERVE TORTURE! LET ME TORTURE YOU! LET ME HURT YOU! I HATE YOU, ZAYZA!!!”
Tears poured from his eyes. They, too, were glowing blue.
Zayza wanted this to make her feel something, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t.
Then suddenly, Fewpar stopped. “Oh,” he said plainly. “Oh, of course…of course…”
Zayza took a single step back.
Fewpar stood tall, now smiling. If not for the shining tears, his face would have appeared back to its usual, composed expression. “I know precisely how to hurt you, Zayza.”
Zayza charged another green blast into her hand.
The sight made Fewpar’s smile grow. “I don’t recommend that,” he said. He pointed at Zayza slowly. “Allow me to torment you now, or I’ll return to the Real World and hurt your weak little friend, instead.”
The light in Zayza’s palm immediately vanished.
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“That’s better. You’ll let me hurt you, or you won’t be able to protect him,” Fewpar purred. He started walking slowly towards her. “If you resist, I’ll disappear to the Real World, and have Najinzu give the boy the same treatment he gave you. You’re trapped here in the Dream World until the sedation wears off, so there’s nothing you’d be able to do about it…”
Zayza didn’t move as Fewpar drew closer.
“That’s right,” he said as he faced her. “Now, be a good girl, you scum.”
He raised a fist, and launched it across her cheek. As Zayza spun from the impact, he kicked her in the back and sent her stumbling over. Fewpar lit his hands with blue energy.
As his merciless attacks rained down on Zayza, she curled into a ball on the ground and took all of it directly. Even after Najinzu’s torture, the physical pain was immense.
But she felt disconnected from it.
No, something else was far, far more painful. It drowned out Fewpar’s onslaught.
She could feel emotion again.
As she thought of Lammy, the boy she was fighting to protect, and the friend who finally accepted he was better off without her, she felt emotion flood in.
But only one emotion:
I’m so alone, she thought.
~
Zayza had begun whimpering, barely loud enough for Lammy to hear. While his heart had already sunk hours ago, it found a way to go deeper.
But he couldn’t cry. He was finally out of tears.
“Aw, how precious,” Najinzu said mockingly from where he sat. “Poor, poor Zayza…It seems Fewpar is taking his sweet time. I knew we were friends for a reason.”
Lammy hated Najinzu’s heightened senses. But more than that: he hated his own weakness.
He was useless. Powerless. Scared.
If Zayza had met Deon instead of me, she would be safe now. He would protect her.
He thought of Zayza back in Our Snowy Village, just before the village meeting. She had promised to help him get back to Tailpiece, when she barely even knew him. And since then, he had promised to help her find all of her memories…to help her remember who she was. But now that Fewpar and Najinzu had brought her so much hatred, he wanted to prove something else:
They’re wrong about her.
He despised the physical torture they put her through, but he could tell they had crossed a line much farther than that. He first noticed it right after the fight in College Town College, and could see it in her eyes unceasingly since then:
They were making her hate herself.
They’re dead wrong about her.
He felt a strange heat in his eyes.
I want to help…I want to help you, Zayza, he thought. But I’m useless…
No.
Deon said without my coaching, he’d be screwed. And I saved Our Snowy Village from Felix’s attack. I’m not useless…but…can I even do anything in this situation?
I want to help you…I WANT TO HELP YOU!
He shut his eyes and hugged Zayza tightly, still careful of her wounds, and brought his head against hers.
~
Where…am I?
The sky was dark blue, with green clouds floating motionlessly. The grass was white. There was a small, rocky cave built into a hill far below, and an orange stream ran calmly before it. As it trickled, the sounds occasionally dipped lower in pitch.
Lammy looked around. He noticed he had no body. He was only his senses.
Then he glanced at the cave again. It had the essence of something familiar…it felt safe. Even more so, it felt like a person.
Zayza?
After thinking of her, he felt Zayza’s essence even stronger, coming from far away. He looked forward, over the strange horizon.
Zayza…
The world underneath him began moving—or perhaps he was the one moving. The landscape started changing in color, but eventually it all looked like a blur. Then, after a moment, it slowed back down.
Now he was above an extensive field of blue and green grass. Patches of orange faded into view here and there.
In the center of it all, there she was.
Far beneath him, Zayza lay with her knees pulled to her chin, in the green dress she wore when they first met. Fewpar stood above her, viciously throwing some sort of blue light against her. Every time the light made impact, Zayza shook.
He could hear her whimpering again, but it sounded like she was directly next to his ear. Actually, he could still feel himself hugging her closely, as he had been before he ended up here.
Both sadness and courage encompassed him.
“NO!!” he screamed.
In the air above Zayza and Fewpar, a colossal, cartoonish tree appeared. It came swinging down and slapped into Fewpar’s entire body. Fewpar bounced off the ground once, and then face-planted back onto it.
Wait…how did I just…I did that? Lammy wondered. But…I usually struggle to imagine things that affect reality…
Then it came to him: this must be the Dream World.
This wasn’t reality.
His powers were limitless.
Wait—how the heck am I even here?!?! he thought.
L—Lammy? came a voice. But it was coming from inside his head. Lammy? she repeated.
Zayza! he answered back. Zayza, I’m here! How the heck am I here?!
“YOU BROKE THE AGREEMENT!!” Fewpar howled, now pointing at Zayza and rushing at her. “LET ME ATTACK YOU, OR THE BOY WILL SUFFER!!”
Fewpar was closing back in on her, fast. Lammy imagined the first thing that came to his head.
Out of the sky, Lammy’s entire house freefell and landed directly on Fewpar. A sketch-like depiction of his father stepped out of the house to see what all the commotion was about, before Lammy imagined it all out of existence.
Fewpar’s head stuck out of the dirt where the house had landed. He looked around furiously.
“That was no Dream World combat…” he growled. “What in the Multiverse is going on?!”
“I’m not letting you hurt my friend anymore, that’s what!” Lammy exclaimed, his confidence now growing. Not having a physical body in this world certainly eased his mind a bit.
“What?! The boy?!” Fewpar shouted, wriggling around to dig himself out of the dirt.
Suddenly, a hand appeared in front of Fewpar and slapped him several times across the cheek.
“Hey, I’m thirteen, you know. I’m kind of a man,” Lammy interjected as he commanded the slaps.
Blue light shone around Fewpar’s head, and then with a blast he set himself free, floating above his former trap. “I see…the boy must be some variant of a Dreamer…”
“Um…no,” said Lammy.
“Yes.”
“I really don’t think so—”
“SHUT UP, YOU FOOL!” Fewpar roared. Then a smile grew on his face. “You idiots think this will help you? This changes nothing…”
Lammy, you must go…Zayza uttered in his thoughts.
“As I’ve already threatened, I shall leave the Dream World, and have Najinzu torture the boy,” Fewpar said, his voice calm once again. “Perhaps I’ll throw in a few punches, myself. You had your chance to comply, Zayza, but now your mind will remain here, as we tear your little friend apart.”
As easily as it departed, dread once again returned to Lammy. Now they were coming for him.
When he looked back to Zayza, he noticed a dull purple light flash once around her head.
Don’t be afraid, Lammy. I remember how to end this now, she said in his mind. But her voice sounded unusually calloused.
No…it sounded empty.
Clearly pleased with himself, Fewpar stood tall and took a deep sigh. He brought his hands together and closed his eyes.
“Prepare yourself, boy,” he sneered.
Then there was a green flash directly behind him. Lammy looked to see Zayza was no longer lying where she had been. As the green flash faded, she was now directly behind Fewpar.
The sky instantly turned black, and all sound vanished.
Zayza softly yet rapidly slipped her arm around Fewpar’s neck. She brought her free hand around him and placed a finger gently against his chest, as if to caress him.
“You can’t leave if you’re dead,” Zayza uttered. “So die now.”
Her delicate, sweet voice cut through the silence like a sharpened knife through Lammy’s heart.
It was utterly distressing.
Fewpar’s eyes widened, his pupils seeming to shrink. He froze, aside from a quivering lip and a single, shining tear.
“No…please…please don’t…”
Even though Lammy was bodiless here, he felt like he couldn’t breathe.
Zayza’s eyes and stance were unwavering.
“Then, this is it…” Fewpar realized. “No…FOR VAYVA!!!”
Zayza’s eyes widened just as Fewpar’s had. She stalled whatever she was about to do, and Lammy could feel her confusion.
Then Fewpar became a blue flash of light, and he was gone.
Lammy, listen: you have to go back right now, Zayza urged in Lammy’s mind. Go back now, and run.
I’ll…I’ll get us out of there…Lammy stuttered.
No, leave me behind, Zayza instructed. Even in his head, her voice turned shaky.
NO! Lammy refused.
GO NOW!! RUN!!
Lammy felt himself getting pushed away from Zayza. It quickly turned into more of a pulling sensation, like he was being tugged up from underwater.
~
Then, somehow, he was back.
He still held Zayza in his arms, his vision now foggy.
RUN!! Zayza had demanded.
Lammy looked up and immediately saw Najinzu and Fewpar throwing themselves into the carriage, their hands outstretched towards him. Najinzu wielded a thin, black knife.
No…I…
I want to help Zayza…
I…
…Don’t want us to be here…
His eyes now felt like they were practically burning. Everything in his sight was turning orange.
His only thoughts were of escape…of leaving…
…Stepping beyond Tailpiece…
…Teleporting to Our Snowy Village…
…Getting catapulted into the mountains…
Lammy shut his eyes.
He felt himself and Zayza get scooped up in a round, frozen surface. It flung them straight through the roof of the carriage with a crash. A white light briefly filled his mind.
Then, they were falling. Lammy weakly opened his eyes, his head pounding from the impact with the carriage roof. It was nighttime, it was much warmer, and the air felt…
Different.
They crashed through what felt like tree branches, before slamming into a body of water.
Even as Lammy floated, too dazed to swim, he didn’t let Zayza go.
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