《Conscious, Conscientious》29. Hurt
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Najinzu violently seized Zayza by the back of her neck. “Right this way, dear,” he growled.
Zayza’s eyes widened. Her nervous breath was audibly unsteady.
Lammy sat on the crude wooden floor, paralyzed with fear for her. For a moment he thought he could hear Zayza’s heart pounding, but he soon realized it was his own.
“Remember what I said earlier, Najinzu,” urged Fewpar.
“I know, I know, I won’t kill her. I’ll only come close.”
“Actually, I was talking about not getting her blood all over your clothes. It’s just so repulsive. But that too: we need her alive.”
Lammy still couldn’t move. They…can’t actually do this…he thought.
Zayza looked to Lammy. Once their eyes met, that instant became frozen in time. Lammy had never seen so much fear in a single expression. Zayza’s enchanting green eyes extended her very soul out to him, as if it was crying for help, desperate for a retreat.
He knew Zayza wouldn’t actually ask for help, because she felt that would only put him in more danger. But her eyes spoke the truth she tried to repress: she wanted him to make a move. To do something. Anything. This time, no one else could do it for him. His mother wasn’t here to bail them out. Nor were Folel, Foler, or Ryan. He was her absolute only hope to rescue her from torture.
She needed him.
Lammy could see it happening: he would stand to his feet, shout “Leave her alone!” and the adrenaline of the situation would somehow awaken the Imagining skills he always understood, but could never execute. He would take on Najinzu and Fewpar by himself—at least long enough to hold them off so he could get Zayza. Then they would bust out of the carriage and run for their lives, disappearing into the trees. Maybe someone kind of authority would find and protect them.
Lammy could envision all of this taking place.
He knew it was worth a shot. Anything was worth it to save a friend as compassionate as Zayza. And she needed him.
Lammy didn’t move.
He watched as Najinzu forcefully escorted Zayza out of the carriage. He just sat there and watched until they were outside, no longer in view. He heard them walk across the dirt path and leave deeper into the woods.
He did nothing.
“Hmm, a part of me thought you would try to save her…or, at least say something in protest,” commented Fewpar nonchalantly. “Instead, you made this quite easy for us. You must not be nearly as powerful as your mother.”
Lammy stared at Fewpar, distraught.
Why couldn’t I move? He’s right—I didn’t even bother to stick up for her. I just sat here like an idiot! What kind of friend am I?
What…kind of person am I?
He recalled earlier in College Town College, how he was able to speak up then. He didn’t even know Ryan would step in and fight, yet Lammy was ready to take them on to defend Zayza. What changed?
He knew exactly what changed.
Now, he had seen Najinzu’s strength. He had seen him stab Ryan in the stomach without hesitation. Without regard.
He saw the blood.
He saw their fate.
“What nonsense am I speaking of? Of course you’re not as skilled as your mother,” Fewpar concluded. “Otherwise, you would have simply teleported yourself and Zayza away from here.”
Once again, he was speaking about Lammy’s mother like she had great power. “‘Teleported?’” Lammy repeated slowly.
“Yes, boy, ‘teleported.’ It baffles me that you haven’t the slightest clue about your mother’s special abilities.”
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“That’s because my mom doesn’t have ‘special abilities,’” Lammy insisted. “She’s just a normal mom. She never even uses her powers.”
“You are quite the fool,” Fewpar observed emotionlessly. “Your mother is masterful; otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to save you. She somehow managed to teleport you and Zayza away. Before we could attack her, she did the same to us, sending us back to Fantasy Country. That’s not the work of an ordinary consciousness.”
Lammy’s head spun.
Wait—so my mom’s…
…really alive?
She’s the one who sent us away? And she’s alive?
But…
Why did she send us here? Why not into Tailpiece?
“Enough of this meaningless prattle,” Fewpar said. “Najinzu will return with your criminal friend eventually. When that time comes, you may discover her to be rather…different.”
He turned around and headed to the front of the wagon. It had stopped raining now, so he stepped outside, onto the driver’s bench. One of the two horses shook its mane.
Quickly, Lammy’s mind returned to their current peril.
What is Najinzu doing to her? he wondered with dread. I’m sorry, Zayza. I failed you…
~
“Ah, you’re back with the girl!” Lammy heard Fewpar exclaim. “Welcome, good Najinzu. How was it?”
“You were mostly right, Fewpar. She’s quite the pleader and crier. Only, she’s not at all a fighter.”
“Really? Is that so?”
“The girl gave almost no resistance. It seems she’s given up.”
Lammy gasped quietly and he felt tears building up. Zayza…
“Fascinating. Let me see her…ah, yes. How does it feel to get what you deserve, Zayza? Well, I do hope she has some spark left in her. I never got my fair chance for revenge.”
“We’ll see.”
“At any rate, I’m glad to see you had fun.”
Lammy heard someone approaching. His tears and heartbeat increased.
((WARNING: The following seven paragraphs mildly address injuries and trauma that may be disturbing to some readers. Descriptions are not gory or explicit, but since this story hasn't been very dark thus far, I felt a warning is warranted.))
Najinzu climbed into the carriage with Zayza slung over his shoulder like a sack. Her clothes were ripped all over, and thin cuts were under the slits. It appeared Najinzu had used a particularly slim knife to do the work.
Most horrifyingly, however, was the fact that these narrow cuts were in systematic, calculated locations, revealing that Najinzu knew precisely what he wanted to do. There was symmetry—perhaps even art—to these injuries. Lammy also noted several dark bruises where skin was visible.
Zayza…
Najinzu walked up to Lammy, glaring at him with that cold, dark eye. He lifted Zayza from his shoulder and tossed her next to Lammy.
Before she thudded to the floor, Lammy jumped and caught Zayza. She collapsed into his lap, her face turned towards his. Immediately, he could feel her steadily trembling.
Tears falling, Lammy reached to Zayza’s face and brushed aside the hair that masked it. He went pale at what he uncovered.
Zayza’s face was uninjured, yet it was the most accurate depiction of her pain. She was conscious, and her eyes looked ahead, wide open and in a foggy daze. Her skin was pale, save for the dark, weary lines underneath her eyes. The darkness accented her vivid green irises, making them stand out against her otherwise faded face. Her colorless lips were parted slightly, and her chin faintly and inconsistently twitched downward, as if she was trying to speak but had no words.
“Zayza…” Lammy muttered chokingly. “I’m sorry…”
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Zayza remained wordless, staring just beyond him.
The whole time, Najinzu had been hovering above them.
“As much as I enjoy beholding the fruits of my labor,” he began, “I believe someone is waiting for you.”
He swiftly snatched something from his belt and flicked it at Zayza. The small item poked into the side of her neck: another tranquilization dart.
“No!” Lammy cried.
Zayza’s eyes wavered and closed. Her body immediately stopped trembling and relaxed against Lammy, and her head drooped down against his shoulder.
“Zayza…no…” mumbled Lammy.
By now, Najinzu had already walked away and joined Fewpar out in the front.
“When will they finally have enough?” Lammy wondered. “This is all my fault…why can’t I be stronger?”
He cradled Zayza close as he cried softly.
~
(The Dream World)
Zayza’s eyes opened.
The cuts were gone. The pain was gone. That unrelenting, all-encompassing pain was finally gone. She felt normal again. She felt the ground underneath her feet.
Zayza stood in a vast, empty field. The grass was an even mixture of green and blue, and the sky matched it with its dark blue tint and green clouds.
Zayza wore her default green dress, but for once, she wished not to. But she could only barely wish not to, because she could only barely feel emotion. She didn’t want to feel it, and she didn’t know how.
One state, however, had remained the same since she entered the Dream World: she still couldn’t speak. Or, rather, she chose not to. She wasn’t sure which was the truth. There was nothing to say—or maybe, there was no way to say it. She heard Lammy when he called to her, but a response was impossible. Or unnecessary. Maybe both. It didn’t matter.
A light flickered a short walk away, and from it Fewpar emerged. He stood arms crossed, looking at Zayza with a half-smile.
“There you are,” he noted calmly, “At last, we can finish what we barely started. With your Pain Tolerance as high as it is due to your time with Najinzu, you shall be unable to escape the Dream World so easily.”
Zayza said nothing.
“How do you feel, dear Zayza? You look much better here than in the Real World. I’ll be happy to change that.”
Silence.
Fewpar looked at Zayza with puzzlement. “You say nothing, and look upon me with such empty, hopeless eyes. Najinzu really did quite the number on you.” He slid into a fighting stance. “I shall add to his efforts.”
Lammy didn’t stand up, Zayza thought. He didn’t try to save me. He didn’t even say a word.
I’m…
I’m glad.
If Lammy had tried to rescue me, they would have hurt him even more. He doesn’t deserve the pain I know now. I’m glad he didn’t stand up for me. It means…he must have learned he shouldn’t have anything to do with me. He’s decided I’m not worth more suffering.
He must be right.
He is right.
But…
All the hardships Lammy has experienced since we met are because of me, Zayza thought.
And that will only continue unless I do something about it.
“At least show me just a bit of fear,” said Fewpar. “It’s only fair—Najinzu can’t have it all to himself.”
A light blue glow appeared in his hand. With a shove, he launched the blast at Zayza.
Zayza watched the oncoming attack, preparing no defense. These men have some reason to believe I deserve this torment, she thought.
So be it.
The blast was arm’s length from her, but then an enormous, glistening green wave of light emanated from Zayza and fired at the blast, completely drowning it. An earth-shaking wall of noise erupted from it, and its power sent a gust at Zayza, causing her hair to blow rapidly in the wind. Regardless, she looked on unflinchingly.
The green blast soared directly at Fewpar and hammered into him full-force, catapulting him backwards into the air.
Once the light faded, Zayza took a single step forward.
She warped to a location far ahead, now on a white cobblestone path between twilight-colored trees.
Zayza turned around and saw Fewpar falling through the air in her direction. She charged a thick circle of green light into her hands and raised it in front of her. Fewpar collided with this, and the explosion sent him rocketing back into the sky.
Zayza took another step, and a moment later, she was floating in the dark blue air. Fewpar came spinning up at her. She charged another circle of green energy into her foot. Gravity was beginning to pull Fewpar back down as he reached Zayza’s height, but she kicked him with the green light and launched him spiraling out of the sky.
Far below in the distance, Fewpar crashed into a silver mountain, just behind the field Zayza had initially appeared in. The impact sent debris in all directions with a cloud of white dust.
I may deserve this, but Lammy doesn’t, Zayza decided. And right now I’m the only person who can protect him.
So I will.
She warped back to the field, not far from the now-punctured wall of the mountain Fewpar had just collided with.
When the white dust cleared, Fewpar emerged, climbing out of the hole in the mountain. His face was contorted into an ugly frown. He stood at the edge of the hole and quickly noticed Zayza below him.
“It appears another memory has returned to you,” Fewpar grumbled.
Zayza wordlessly watched him.
Fewpar smiled bitterly. “Well then, it will be an honor to fight someone of your importance. I shall discover if the rumors are true.”
~
Lammy felt the carriage spring to life as the horses began to pull it along the path once more. He wondered what time of day it was; it became hard to tell once it stopped raining.
He continued to hug Zayza, petting her hair softly and trying to refrain from looking at her injuries. Any time he glanced at them, his heart would sink. No matter what Zayza may or may not have done, she certainly couldn’t deserve all of this.
And to think, it wasn’t even over: at this very moment, Fewpar was probably beating her up in the Dream World. Lammy had never realized any human being could be this cruel.
I wish I could use Imagining to heal her, Lammy thought. That’s just another skill I’m no good at…If my mom is so “powerful,” why didn’t she teach me?
As Lammy contemplated this, he took comfort in the fact that he finally knew his mother was alive and well. The uncertainty had haunted him since they arrived in Our Snowy Village, and now this burden was lifted.
At least she was okay, even if he and Zayza were not.
Lammy heard Najinzu grumble to himself. He listened more intently.
“At this pace, it will take us the rest of eternity to get to Fantasy Country,” his raspy voice complained.
Everything continued as normal for several seconds, but then Lammy saw a bright, white light from outside. It faded just as quickly as it came, and immediately the carriage stopped as he heard the horses throw a fit.
“Oh, calm down, you insolent beasts!” Najinzu shouted. “I merely used a Warp Orb. You Realistic Fiction horses are idiotic.”
‘Warp Orb?’ Isn’t that what they used to catch up to us at College Town College? Lammy wondered.
Soon enough, the horses began running along the path again. Only this time, the ground underneath their hooves and the wheels sounded a bit more solid and felt flatter. Lammy saw that the sky outside looked clear.
“There. This is much closer,” said Najinzu. “Do you hear me, boy?” he snarled back to Lammy. “You and the girl will be in our dungeon soon enough.”
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