《Safe as Houses》Interlude: How Like a Man
Advertisement
Raymond Fleck sat up and groped for his laptop.
The dream was already fading but a few sentences remained. And those sentences held the key to getting rid of the vampires forever.
The Earth Day wallpaper appeared, but the old laptop would take two more minutes before he could do anything. Raymond repeated the sentences, fingers twitching on the keys. The words were vaguely familiar …
There! The word processor showed a blank page. With trembling fingers, he typed, “How like a man. The earth is not a spaceship.”
He stared bleakly at the useless words. Some vital piece was missing. It had been implied in the dream, something to do with ecology. The words meant nothing!
He got up and walked angrily to the window. He’d seen Charla Thorpe’s viral video; the vampires kept out of sight of his windows but still swarmed over the house of Sam, his Luddite neighbor who couldn’t go online to save his life. (If Sam hadn’t been such an asshole, Raymond might have told him all he had to do was declare, as Charla had, “The sanctity of our home includes our view!”)
What had been in the dream? His mother had faced an old man with horn rim glasses, holding a dimpled ball. She shook her head and told him he was just like a man to say that the earth was a spaceship. Raymond, watching, had nodded, knowing that ecology meant he could get rid of the vampires…
The words were familiar because his mother had really said them, years ago. She’d said them to him but they were about that old man, whoever he was. “How like a man!” she’d snorted. “The earth is not a spaceship!”
And then she’d said something more, something that had to do with ecology. What? It seemed like the key to everything.
There was no teasing the memory out. Like shy cats or stars you must look away from to see, it might come if he ignored it. He climbed back into bed, thinking instead about the vampires and their damn logistic curve growth. They’d made more and more vampires until they choked the world, an awful lot like humans had. But if you were in a home you were safe, unless you invited them in. And the dream had told him something about that…
Advertisement
The thought still hadn’t come at noon as he stood at the window of his office in the Earth Sciences Building, watching earnest young people stride through the sun, daypacks hanging off their shoulders. He’d led seminars on global warming until the vampires put an end to that problem. Nobody drove at night anymore; carbon emissions were thus cut in half and for five years there’d been no measurable change in climate.
He watched the busy quad, trying not to think of the dream. No more global warming. An ecologist’s dream.
Of course, if the dream really held the key and humanity did rid the earth of vampires, then people would drive more than ever, would start destroying spaceship earth all over again.
Spaceship Earth?
Buckminster Fuller!
That was the old man with glasses and the dimpled ball (a geodesic ball made of small triangles!). He was the philosopher, designer and dreamer who had used the term Spaceship Earth to encourage everyone to treat the planet with the respect you’d give a spaceship if you were its crew. Margaret Fleck had heard him speak back in the 70s or 80s. Afterwards, she’d told her teenage son in her stern Oxford accent, “How like a man. The earth is not a spaceship.”
He almost had it then. She had said something else, something to do with ecology and it was the key.
The lunch rush slowed as he struggled. The radiant midday light poured like liquid honey on the people basking in the sculpture garden, stretched on the grass which tonight would crawl with vampires.
If he did snag the elusive idea, how would he convince anybody else? Post something online? Start a blog, tweet the news? He had to face it, nobody ever paid attention to anything he put online. The day dragged on.
Lonely and despairing at 5 pm he called Cindy. “Stay with me tonight?”
“Sure baby,” she answered easily. They were casual friends with benefits. “I won’t have time to do anything and still get there.” Before sunset, neither of them needed to add. “Do you have food, everything we’ll need?”
Advertisement
“Baby, I got everything we need,” he answered suavely, and she chuckled. “Good oh, then. See ya half hour before.” Before sunset.
Everything in our lives revolves around sunset.
As he rode the train home a knot built in his stomach; for the first time in months he read the big red emergency instructions. “In the event of a breakdown near sunset, a conductor in your car will ask for the verbal agreement of all passengers that the train is a home for the night. Respond ‘This is my home tonight’ when asked to do so. Do not venture outside until after the sun has risen. Do not under any circumstances say words indicating welcome to the circulating exterior non-living entities.” (How like a bureaucrat…)
If nobody fucked up (a big if) the train became a temporary home, like a motel. Months later, Malcolm Donald would make an unenclosed plaza his home by promising to live there for a year; Sally and Lavinia would make a moving vehicle their home by promising to live in it indefinitely. But for a completely enclosed, unmoving vehicle, a single night’s promise seemed to be enough. If nobody said the W word…
The train got to Park West station with no delays and he started the 20-minute drive to his house with the sun an hour from setting. Things were easy in summer; in winter everyone left for home at 4 and any nightlife was online (which meant he had no nightlife).
He was almost home when from his pocket his phone announced, “Call from Cindy Rella.” (He’d never told her how she was entered in his address book.) He pulled quickly over and answered it just before it cut off.
“Baby, don’t panic,” she said with a tense quaver. “But my car broke down.”
Raymond started guiltily, as if he’d caused this by thinking too hard about breakdowns. “I’ve pulled to the side of the freeway and I’m fine--” She said it too harshly. “I’ll just declare the car my home and stay in it tonight.”
“But it’s still, um, 45 minutes, won’t somebody come?”
“I already called Triple A. All drivers are heading back to the garage by state law. Unless some good Samaritan stops, Jesus, I’m, I’ll be fine, I’ll be, I’ll just stay here.”
“I’ve got plenty of gas,” he almost barked into the phone. “I’ll come get you. Where are you?” He wasn’t a brave man but he had to prove to himself that he could do something.
She sobbed with relief, even as she made herself say, “I can’t ask you to, no...”
“Share your position with me,” he snapped, more firmly than ever before. Quickly he pulled up directions. 16 minutes. It would be close. “I’ll be there within 20 minutes,” he told her. “Hang tight.”
“Don’t hang up!” She’d never been that vulnerable. More calmly, sounding ashamed, she continued, “Can you, if you can just keep the phone connected …”
“I’ll keep the connection live.” He put the phone on speaker in his lap.
43 minutes to sunset, 16 minutes there, maybe 20 minutes to his house, plenty of time. His palms started to sweat.
Advertisement
- In Serial10 Chapters
Elemental Online
The year 2176: The entire world economy collapsed technology got too advanced nearly every job that humans could do got replaced by some form of technology. It didn’t take long for everything to go to shit. On the same day, the first ever full dive VRMMORPG got released. It was called Elemental Online.The year 2183 It didn’t take long for the company behind Elemental Online to work itself into the world economy and when I mean work itself into the world economy, I mean it became the world economy. The game was so popular that there was a worldwide law passed that any money made in the game could be used in the real world in any country is even got it’s only definition E-currency. This idea was so popular that 91% of the world's population took up Elemental Online as a career.The year 2184 Meet Jun a 28-year-old who had no interest in gaming besides doing it as a hobby but when things happen that make him drop out of university he needs money a lot of it and fast so he turns to the only place he can Elemental Online.But not everything is what is looks like in this virtual world.
8 104 - In Serial62 Chapters
Tenshot
Scamming an old friend at a game of cards? Robbing travelers? Committing... Well... Genocide? Perfectly reasonable means to become the greatest bounty hunter alive! Though, once Tenner broke out of his neighborhood - a prison isolated from the rest of the world - things didn't all go according to plan. He didn't expect that the world was a wasteland. He didn't expect creatures, hungry for juicy human flesh, to live in that wasteland. He certainly wasn't ready for Realms, massive sphere cities run by mysterious Workers, and their mad priests. On top of all that, the ghosts of his past wouldn't let go of him... This was going to be one hell of a journey. Updated twice a week Volume 1 is finished. Volume 2 is running. [participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
8 219 - In Serial29 Chapters
Hell Hath no Hoagie
Steve, a half-demon on his mother's side, must find the sandwich that will bring upon the end of times! Or at least, that's what he tells his demonic bosses. In truth, he'd much rather just hang out with his friends, a Judge who summons bunnies to maintain the balance of good and evil, a hell-knight who enjoys slaughtering said bunnies, and a tortured soul who is perpetually on fire (who would very much like to snuggle said bunnies but has been told multiple times not to). Steve was supposed to care for the antichrist, and not let the guy get addicted to MMORPGs. But Steve claims that a terrific sandwich will awaken the bloodlust in the antichrist, and so he joins his companions on a road trip to find the most delicious, most evil, most apocalyptic-inducing sandwich of all time... and maybe a taco.
8 125 - In Serial10 Chapters
Like Snow on Hungry Graves
The emperor's illegitimate son is forced to take his half-brother's place and travel to an enemy kingdom for an arranged marriage. If the bride's family find out about the deception they'll kill the prince. If they don't, his guards have orders to assassinate him during the wedding ceremony to provoke a war. Along the way the prince meets a stranger who is oddly eager to help him get out of this predicament... on condition that he helps her hunt a sea monster.
8 86 - In Serial14 Chapters
The Angry Birds Movie 2 (rewritten)
The birds and pigs are forced to work together to save their islands from being destroyed. Meanwhile, Aggie is still dealing with her break-up relationship with Red as she tried to control herself from sadness, anger, and jealousy when there's a new bird came to his life. WARNING: SPOILERS!
8 158 - In Serial11 Chapters
Being the God of Hell is a bother [On temporary hiatus]
A group of people dies in a plane crash, but their souls are snatched away by an entity called the Highest One, that wants to make them the gods of a new world in order to guide and control its population. One of the passengers, Viktor, protests this, saying that the people of the new world should be entitled to find their own path in life without immortal beings ruling over them. The Highest One then ask Viktor if he really has that much faith in humanity, and after Viktor answer positively he made him into the God of Hell, tasked with redeeming the souls of the damned, as a way to test Viktor's faith in humanity... EDIT: I'm reworking this novel a bit, changing the first chapters from the "screenplay" form to standard prose. I should be done and start a shedule of one chapter per week at the end of february.
8 142

