《I'm the Best Rune Programmer in a New World!》Chapter 18: The Bandit Baby
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I decided that we should set out for the mission right away to not waste time. We left the Guild, I made sure to wave bye to Melissa and Dob and Lob also did so.
They wave so much better than me. Wait why am I getting jealous of how my goblins wave... ah whatever. They were already better at close combat so getting annoyed over their superior waving seems inappropriate.
We jogged out of town and down the long dirt road. Went past the Yarthon Woods a bit before coming to a valley. I turned towards Dob and Lob.
"Okay, guys. According to the information Melissa gave me the bandits hang out in this valley and have robbed lots of the travelers that pass through it. We're going to walk through it normally and then hopefully they'll reveal themselves to us. Remember nothing fatal. These aren't murderers after all just some annoying bandits."
Dob and Lob nodded in understanding. I could see a large amount of excitement on their faces.
I have a feeling these bandits are going to have a very bad day.
I and the Bobs walked through the valley at a normal walking pace. Trees carpeted the sides of the lush valley and sometimes we'd stop to gaze at the beauty of nature. About halfway into our journey through the valley, I noticed a small clearing ahead of us. I looked behind us and saw that I could no longer see the outside of the valley. Since we were pretty far into the valley and there was that small clearing in front of us I felt pretty certain that the bandits must be hiding there.
It would be a good spot to hide because many people would probably take a rest in the clearing and when they were attacked they'd be too far away to get help in a reasonable amount of time. I poked Dob and Lob on the shoulder and pointed to the clearing ahead. They seemed to get my point because they nodded at me and positioned their hands near the sheaths that were adhered to their pants.
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Meanwhile, we entered the clearing and nothing happened. I looked around awkwardly.
Were they all going to the bathroom or something?
I shook my head to clear the horrible image that followed that thought. Then I saw one of the bandits emerge from the trees that were on either side of the clearing. Then another one popped up from behind us and yet another one from the side. They now had us surrounded.
The first bandit I'd seen seemed to be the leader as he was the one that spoke first.
"Hey, you guys. Give us your money and valuables and we'll let you go. Otherwise, you won't be leaving here in one piece. Take your pick. I'm a gentleman after all I gave you a choice."
I narrowed my eyebrows and glared at the jerk.
"Gentleman aye? You seem like more of a prick to me."
"Oh? Looks like we've got a fighter boys. You're gonna regret that pipsqueak."
"Yeah bring it on you big oaf."
The lead bandit charged toward me and I quickly gestured to Dob and Lob to each fight one of the other bandits. The leader pulled out a long sword from something on his back, probably a sheath of some sort, and pointed it at me, this was all done while he was still running so he was quite close to me now.
Remembering that I couldn't kill the bandits I sent my knife flying towards the guy's sword arm and watched as the guy slumped to the ground in agony, his sword falling from his hands while his mouth let loose a torrent of obscenities. I walked up to the bandit leader who was now practically bawling on the ground and picked up his weapon, throwing it far away so he couldn't make use of it.
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Then I searched the man and took the dagger concealed in his boots. I kicked the man in the stomach hard to make sure he'd stay down for the time being and checked on how Dob and Lob's fights were going. I was surprised to see that they had already finished their fights and stripped the bandits of all their weapons, concealed and all.
Damn these guys really are amazing at combat. I guess being in that dungeon for who knows how long helped them hone their skills. The only reason I won is probably that they were lazy and had also never dealt with a flying weapon before.
I looked at Dob and Lob as well as my knife with a renewed sense of appreciation. Since we'd finished our task it was time to head back. I knew this would be annoying though since we'd have to deal with the 3 bandits the whole way. The bandit leader kept whining the whole way about his arm and I could see a sense of disgust in the bandit leader's subordinates at their leader's childish behavior.
Has this jerk never been injured before? Jeez. I mean I know I'm being a bit hypocritical here since I've never really been injured that much but it still seems like extremely inept behavior.
We got back to the town not that late in the afternoon and got some looks because we were practically corraling three well two tough-looking men.
I think we got more attention due to the bandit leader/bandit baby. That's a good name right there. Ok, I will now refer to that guy as the bandit baby.
We got to the Guild and entered it soon after my genius invention of a name and got in line, the three bandits following behind us with their heads slightly down at the looks they were getting. Apparently, the mission that I and my minions had accepted had spread around and thus people knew that these three guys were bandits.
The line didn't take that long to get through as most people moved out of the line once they saw me and the bandits.
They're probably eager to get the bandits properly restrained as soon as possible although I doubt it would matter that much due to the fact that their fighting skills were far behind Dob and Lob's.
We got to the counter and Melissa looked at the bandits with disgust. She held up some small device with runes on it and spoke into it.
"You guys can come to get the bandits now."
She put down the device and smiled at me and the goblins.
"So how did the mission go?"
"Great! It was hardly a fight. Dob and Lob each took down a bandit and I took down the lead bandit, who I've nicknamed the Bandit Baby based on how cowardly he acts about a little arm injury."
Melissa and the people that heard me laughed uproariously and pointed at the lead bandit who was now looking even more cowardly because he seemed to be hiding from pure embarrassment. The joke name I'd come up with for him quickly spread throughout the Guild and soon enough everyone was laughing and pointed at the lead bandit whose face had turned a very unnatural hue.
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