Raderius

I've learned much recently. I've learned of the ignorance of humanity. The emotional, irrational element that is unwilling to give what they don't understand a chance. However, i've learned another lesson. My own arrogance, my unchecked pride and also, my power. As if the world is made of glass that I should handle with care. That I can easily snuff out hundreds of lives in minutes. Its as if when compared to your every day person I was a God.

Some God, destroying everything he loves. At least, I think I loved my family and village, but as I gaze upon the destruction I have wrought and listen to the horrible cries of the banshee that was my mother; I've noticed something.

Not a single tear is coming from my eyes. My emotions, they're calm, eerily and almost unnaturally so. Do I possess enough mental fortitude to endure any stress? No, that's not the answer, even if I could remain calm, my heart should at least feel pain. Harriet is among those corpses Raderius, your sister who you loved and adored. The one who cared most for you after mother passed. She's dead. Why doesn't that hurt you?

I can fix it. That's why. I'm not terribly upset about this, because I can fix it. Right, just because my spell was interrupted doesn't mean I can't just try again! I tread through a sea of corpses and look for my sister. It doesn't take me long to find her. I'm not crying, because truthfully, everything's fine.

The villagers are going to be terrified of me after I bring them back, I'll likely have to leave the village, perhaps even the kingdom, if someone in the village were to report what happened and it made its way upwards I'd likely die to one of the military forces or knightly orders within the kingdom.

But, that's ok. That's a consequence I can live with. I can be content knowing that I fixed my mistake and that I brought back mother.

Mother...

The banshee has stopped wailing. She looks at me, a mixture of emotions on her face that seemed to tell of an unrelenting torture.

"Go back and rest for now, mother". I turned away and withdrew my aura from her. Immediately, I began to hear wailing. Why? How? She shouldn't still be here if my magic is no longer tethering her to this realm! Has my magic evolved? Is it this combination of spells? I focused on the wailing figure of my mother and realized something.

My withdrawn magic, its as if I didn't withdraw it at all. Focusing on her, I can see that all my spells are still in effect. Momentarily, my intellectual curiosity flairs, however my concern for my mother overrides the notion of further study of the reasoning for this.

Mother begins to move towards me.

"Stop!" the thought came to me and much to my surprise, mother stopped. Again, my desire to learn the exact reasoning as to why this works is strong and again I suppress it.

A spell that unbinds the undead, my death affinity and having already created spells that result in the undead, made learning such a power a trivial task. Complete within the hour. Severing the necromantic threads of aura that allow the soul to puppet their new form felt easy. I was able to unbind mother after ten minutes. While I could tell that my unbinding spell was a technically impressive feat and would be considered remarkably quick, it would be impractical in a combat situation. I mentally note that I'll need to refine it later.

I return my focus to Harriet's body. My beautiful, lovely sister. The kindest woman I knew besides my mother. Her ears bleeding and all signs of her death pointing to a heart attack from the shock of the banshees scream. I restore her ears as well as remove any internal trauma her body has suffered. I then begin to cast the combination of my animation spell and soul anchoring spell, focusing on the ratio of power within these spells I create the exact combination that I intended to use for resurrecting mother.

Harriet rose and I moved back.

"Im sorry for what happened, sister, but I can fix this." I said in a low, but determined voice.

Harriet looked at me and I gasped. Her expression was empty. Her eyes were dead.

She began to move towards me.

I didn't issue a command, verbally or mentally. My mind was thrown into chaos at what I was witnessing. All my efforts were a waste. All I managed to create was a beautiful zombie. As my mind was thrown into a chasm of darkness the zombie continued to approach me. I ignored it and realizing that my mistakes were irreversible began to cry.

The zombie came closer.

I fell to my knees.

The zombie came closer.

I cried out in anguish as all the pent up stress, that I had foolishly believed to have expertly managed was let loose.

The zombie approached me and was within arms reach.

I closed my eyes, desiring an end.

A minute passed, then two, three, four and finally five. I opened my eyes. The zombie stood there blankly, dumbly. I thought back to the banshee that was my mother, to the skeleton that was the priest that tried to rush me. Did it really want to slay me? When the skeleton looked around was it taking in its surroundings or was it merely just looking for its master? What did the banshee want to do? Is this their default command? To be by my side?

I laughed and cried as the emotions within me became fuddled and turned into a whirlwind that could be described as nothing short of madness. Relief at living. A sudden feeling of freedom from obligation and responsibility. Grief at destroying my family and village. Terror at the torture I had inflicted on my mother. Happiness at the raw power at my disposal. Curiosity to figure out what else I could do. Lust for knowledge. Desire to be loved.

Every emotion and thought within me was a maelstrom as I laughed, howled and cried as insanity threatened to consume me.

As I reasserted my sense of self and quelled the embers of chaos within me I was left with burning questions that I needed to find the solution to.

Whats my power for? What should I do? What do I want? After so long I've gained the ability to pursue answers.

I'm free.