Raderius

My name is Raderius and at fifteen years old, I find myself completely alone. Remire is no more, its denizens either lie slain or are soon to fall, all I can hear is screaming and foul shrieking, the likes of which chill my soul. As I gaze upon my failure, I wonder what I should do and reflect on how things ended up this way.

I suppose it all started when my mother died.

"Raderius..." father entered the room and saw me crying. He instantly recognized what had happened and cursed under his breath.

"Father, I listened to you, I didn't reveal my magic to anyone or spend time developing it. Now mother is gone. I couldn't save her, I wasn't strong enough!" the words began as a whimper, but grew in strength as my grief turned into rage at my father.

Whether such anger was truly justified I can't be sure, but I know that in that moment my younger self believed everything to be my fathers fault.

I can recall an argument, my father and I shouting at each other. As a consequence of it, my siblings learning the truth about me, that I possess magic, but that unlike in other families my magic was to be abhorred, its nature, supposedly, dark and twisted. That father was desperate when he allowed me to make an attempt at saving mother, but that his decision was one of regret. My siblings already feared and resented me and were quick to latch on to a easy justification. Emotion consumed the family, grief about mother emboldening them. It seemed a conflict between my family was sure to rise when Harriet spoke up.

"Everyone, listen to me!" she screamed. Harriet was never loud. Her outburst broke us out of ours as we turned to focus on her.

"This isn't what Mom would want. I can't say for certain about all the details, but mom loved Raderius. She offered us all words of advice before she passed, we got to learn her last wishes, even when Raderius wasn't visiting her, she told us to love him. Raderius is different, so what? From what Dad said, its true, his magic is scary. Its also true that Raderius isn't like us but despite that, Raderius is still family! We'd be dishonoring mother if we abandoned him. He's just as hurt as all of us. Please, we lost one family member, we can't lose another."

I don't remember the specifics that followed, and the peaceful resolution that occurred. However, I can still remember those words. It was the first time, the first time I loved someone who wasn't my mother. I cherished my sister. I wanted to be worthy of her familial love, but there was another thing I wanted just as intensely.

Freedom.

The freedom to learn who I was, what I wanted to be. The freedom to help or hinder whoever I chose. The freedom to use my magic as I pleased.

So, with no more regard for my fathers wishes, I studied. I practiced. I got stronger, experimenting on animals in whatever way I felt, I would work, of course, to reimburse my father for any misfortunes, no matter how they disturbed him.

But I wanted strength. The strength that should've saved my mother. My mind was quickly recognized and at the age of ten I was allowed employment at the Remire library. Alongside my training, I read and I read until the library had nothing more to offer me.

I said I no longer had regard for my fathers wishes, but Harriet was another matter. She asked me to not reveal to people my power, fearing our family would be persecuted should my affinity be considered a negative. She wouldn't ask me to reject who I was, but to wait until I had the strength to protect those I cared for and the maturity to show mercy to those who wouldn't understand.

This was the only condition against my freedom that I tolerated.

At twelve years old my knowledge had grown, my understanding of Milos, the concept of a kingdom, a king, princesses, foreign nations, military, politics, history and our culture. Practitioners of magic, known as witches and wizards attended the Academy of Sorcery, located within the capital upon turning eighteen. It was commonly accepted that magic practitioners once discovered would be expected to work on the fundamentals of forming their magic into two different states and that the skill required to do so should be achieved by eighteen.

The first state was an aura that surrounds the practitioner, known as Rert. Rert is used to protect the user from the negative effects of their own spells. It is also the first fundamental to learning how a magic user could make themselves more powerful with enhancement spells.

The second state was an aura that extends away from the practitioner, known as Jin. The next step for practitioners is to manipulate this aura with their affinity for magic, transforming the extended aura into a spell of the practitioners design.

The advanced states of performing an enhancement spell or transforming extended aura are not required for entry, but the basics of Rert and Jin are.

Perhaps learning this information was what fueled my ego, my hubris. At the age of two I was already able to perform the advanced techniques related to Jin and though I had not heard of Rert until reading about it, I mastered the advanced state within a month of learning its existence.

Everyone, even those who dislike me, compliment my intelligence, how quickly I learn.

Previously I used Jin without properly knowing what it even was, but now that I do, I had an idea. Why not use my affinity to everyones benefit!?

Death.

In addition to arcane magic that anyone can use, I have an affinity for magic whose purpose is manipulating the concept of death and associated ideas.

My increased maturity, forced me to begrudgingly recognize why my father was afraid of having others know that I'm a practitioner of magic; why Harriet continues that restriction on my freedom. The natural question would be if we've learned what affinity I possess. Apparently, its a easy task to divine your affinity and would likely be revealed at a public ceremony.

If the issue was hatred and fear my naïve self came up with a idea. Why not show everyone how useful my magic can be. That it can be used for good.

Resurrection.

My mother was loved by many, her funeral was attended by almost the entire village. A gregarious and generous soul that people looked up to and adored. If I brought her back, whole in mind and body I would prove that the magic of death could be used for good.

Animals would not do for this learning. I'm considered to young to leave the village and become a mercenary or a soldier. Desecrating the graves of others within the village would earn me ire. Others within the village...

The priest.

Yes, he could be who I practice on.

Detect corpses. A spell I created, I extend my Jin outwards, imbue it with my raw affinity and give it no shape or practical function. Instead I latch onto my own Jin and feel it. I feel what it means to die and the emotions that come in the last moments of passing away. I also feel when that concept is met with itself. Like a disturbance that amplifies my Jin without me extending anything into it. Where that disturbance is felt is the location of a corpse.

It took less then a day for me to find the priests old bones, my father gave him a proper burial even in his emotional state, preserving the bones I left behind. Quaint, I briefly wonder if he cared for that man.

I then spent three months developing the fundamentals of a resurrection spell. One that anchors a soul to the body left behind.

I test it on the priest. His bones don't move. There is no indicator he is alive. I use detect corpses to be certain and find that its different. The disturbance in my aura tells me that its corpse, but it also feels, wrong. For lack of a better description the disturbance is so strong, it feels like its looping back from death to life.

A small victory. I withdraw my Jin from the corpse and feel my detect corpses working as normal.

However this isn't enough and likely would just be torturous onto my poor mother. I move onto the next phase. Animating bones. This task I find much easier, taking barely a week before I can have them dance to my will. The next question is, could they dance independently? I anchor the priests soul to his bones. Simultaneously I cast the animation spell, then merge the two together. Hypothesizing that the merger should allow the soul to move the bones.

They moved. They formed together into a skeleton, a misshapen one as the bones arent in perfect condition. But before me a skeleton stands and is moving its skull on its own, taking in its surroundings. The skeleton looks at me and pauses.

Even with no expression, I know whats coming.

The skeleton rushes towards me. However, before it can move more than a few feet it stops in its tracks. My Jin is providing this animation, even now I can manipulate it as I wish. I force the skeleton to kneel before me. Satisfied with this experiment I dismiss it and retrieve my Jin. It makes sense that a man who hated me wishes to slay me, but with this my mother would be returned. Only, her body would not be her body. The horror of it could drive her mad.

I must devise one more spell. One that can restore a corpse to a pristine state.

This spell was my most complex yet. It required me to understand the human body, the books on this subject matter were few in number and didn't tell me enough. When I tried to use them as a point of reference the results were, both underwhelming and wrong. I despaired, wondering if my spell would be impossible to create and if I would be unable to achieve my goal when I had gotten so close.

I fell asleep feeling worse than I have in a long time.

When I woke up and followed my daily routine I began to notice something. A crow was following me. At first I thought this a trick of my imagination, a childs whimsey even.

But the crow followed me the next day.

The day after that as well.

The next day the crow came close to me, no longer following me from above. It made odd gestures and motions, unnatural for a bird, but the intention of them was clear.

'Follow me' it may as well have said.

I walked for twelve hours, deep into the forbidden forest, I knew that I would be worrying my family and if the village learned where I had gone I would be admonished, but my curiosity got me. What did this crow want to show me?

The crow landed and began tapping the ground.

Using a simple arcane spell I dug and I dug. I kept digging until the sun had risen when suddenly my spell was met with more resistance than dirt and grass. A metalic tink. A metal door on the ground. I put more power into the arcane spell. The metal looked a little more damaged, but sturdy. I put an immense amount of my power into the spell, perhaps to much if the sound it made when it collided with the metal was anything to go by.

Behind the metal was a ladder leading far down, the crow flew down and I followed.

What I saw I still don't understand. Strange metallic structures, showing advanced signs of damage. A tornado of chaos and decomposing mush. However, the crow guided me to what appeared to be a library. Countless books, far more than what the village had in its library were before me. The crow flew to a shelf and squawked at three different books. I retrieved them and though I couldn't read them yet, my mind was already beginning to process and attempting to translate them. I was about to grab more books when the crow started to squawk incessantly.

Why?

It looked panic, but...wait. Expanding? The crow was expanding. Like a balloon until it popped, however instead of gore I saw a wave emerge from it. I recognized the feeling of that wave.

A wave of death. It enveloped every book except the three I held it stretched out and filled itself within this underground abode. It destroyed everything. The abode became useless to me, just a foul stench lingering.

As was expected, when I returned home the village was in an uproar. In a way, it sort of made me feel happy. Everyone here, in their own way cared for me. Were father and Harriet right that revealing my magic and my attribute would turn them against me? Maybe they were wro-

An image of my dads face when I killed the priest flashed before my mind. That memory, buried, suppressed. His pained and anguished expression, the lovely caring one he had before it. The destruction of our bond that still to this day hasn't fully recovered.

No, they're right. I need to prove myself first.

It's now the morning leading to the destruction of Remire. Years have passed and i'm fifteen years old. I've learned an ancient language and translated the text of the three tomes I retrieved from that strange underground abode. An instructional set of documentation about the human body. I understand it now and more importantly, my magic resonates with it.

I retrieve the corpse of the priest and cast my spell upon it. I watch as his organs, nervous system, skeletal system, muscular system and more regenerate one after another. I focus on my memory of his appearance as faint as its become and channel the knowledge I have of the human body as I restore him.

Finally, after ten minutes that felt like hours before me was the corpse of the priest. Looking no older than the day he died.

I've done it. All thats left is to merge the spell that anchors the soul, the spell that restores the body and the animating spell together. With the right ratios applied to the spell and precise application of my Jin, I can see mom again.

My siblings except for sally my youngest older sister are all married now. They tease me about my lack of romantic experience, though not to harshly, they know that bettering myself occupies much of my time. I ask Harriet to summon the family to the village graveyard.

I go door to door, asking everyone to come with me as I have something to show them. At this point, I have earned considerable respect from the village. Helping everyone I can, regardless of what they thought of me and forgiving transgressions me has earned me a place within the village. Coming to the graveyard raised more than one persons eyebrow, but in the end all agreed to come.

"Everyone, this day, ten years ago my mother passed away. Hilda. All of you who are old enough to remember her I know were fond of her. I have a confession to make. I'm a practitioner of magic, a wizard."

Many in the crowd were shocked, both by my speech and the open casket next to me. Mother lay there, looking much worse than when she was buried. My family looked the most shocked of all. Harriet, I'm sorry, but trust me. I ignored the crowds gasps and continued.

"My affinity is death. A terrifying form of magic, I know. One, that I can see already, has many of you shaking in fear to hear. However, I have chosen to reveal my secret to you all, because I can prove to you all that my magic is here to serve and help all of you, not to hurt or hinder you!"

I began the casting, I already calculated how my Jin needs to interact with all three spells, forming three different auras and manipulating them, typically I don't need to move my body to cast magic but for this many spells at once the gestures in my arms are required for the Jin to be as precise as I need to be. I began to do this, confident in what I've created when suddenly i felt a impact, then two, then three. Pain in my chest and my face reddened. I turned my focus away from the spell and saw stones. More were going to come.

"Monster!"

"Liar!"

Members of the crowd were attacking me. Others were trying to suppress the aggressors. I see, well at least some people other than my family want to give me a chance. I try to endure the pain and return my focus to my spell when I realized something terrible.

There was far to much Jin in the spell that anchors the soul and not enough for the other two. Worse, my anchoring spell was sucking aura from both the animation and restoration spells. I tried to correct course when I felt it again.

A stone at my head, my concentration broken, the pain beginning to make me black out and as I tried to assert consciousness I saw something new, something terrifying. My mother stood before me and the crowd. Though it was all wrong. She was nearly see through as if she were an apparition rather than corporal flesh. This can't be right, mother please, go back, let me try again. My mother looked at me, looked at the crowd and screamed. A wail of terrifying power. Was this my power, or hers? Some members of the crowd immediately collapsed where they stood, I would later learn it was a heart attack. Those were the lucky ones. The closest members of the crowd, there heads exploded in a shrapnel of gore, gooey chunks of brain and other flesh littering the ground. As the pain in my head overtook me and the warm embrace of darkness enforced itself onto my body, one thought crossed my mind.

"I failed everyone, again."