This is like, the worst day of my life. I can’t believe they still made us go to church.

Wasn’t able to retain much during Sunday school, unfortunately. You see, this interesting thing keeps happening. I keep having these weird flashbacks to a few hours ago, when my own sister ran out of our house crying her eyes out. Man, what’s up with that?

Jeez. If that’s how they reacted to her coming out, I need to watch my fucking back. Still, with any luck they’ll come to their senses and she’ll be back this afternoon.

I walk past the choir room to see that Mr. Palmer has just finished giving his blessings to the choir, and the members of said choir are nearly done filing out of the room. He’s a tall, thin man, his graying hair buzz cut, yet he managed to be rather imposing. He catches my eye, and to my surprise, he beckons me to come inside.

“Collin, may I have a word this morning before service starts?” he asks me.

“Uhhh, sure,” I reply. Shit. This can’t be good.

He motions for me to take a seat in a chair by the front of the now empty choir room, and I sit.

“I have heard from your parents about the incident that happened this morning,” he states bluntly. “I want to make sure you understand that neither I nor your parents would ever do anything to harm your sister.”

“Uh, it’s a little too late for that,” I spit out before I can stop myself.

He sighs and purses his lips. “Well… it is true that much of this could’ve been avoided. It’s a pity…”

That’s not what I expected him to say. “What do you mean by that?” I ask, curious.

“How do I explain this to someone so young?” He takes a full breath, and starts to speak more articulately, like he does when he’s preaching. (I don’t even think he’s doing it consciously.)

“When a child is young, he or she is generally obedient to his or her mother and father,” he explains. “However, when a child reaches the teenage years, he or she may become rebellious and reject the rules and morals of the parents. Parents will typically react by either simply letting the child be, withdrawing and no longer involving themselves with the teenager’s life and personal decisions; or, the other extreme, ‘declaring war’ against their child by setting stricter rules and enforcing them more severely; or, most commonly, the parents will randomly oscillate between the two.”

“Guess there’s just no way to be a good parent, then,” I remark.

“There is a way; but it takes strength, patience, and faith, all working together as one. Anyways, sometimes, the teenager doesn’t rebel, at least not at first. He or she will spend years silently resenting his or her parents, and one day, that resentment will suddenly, unexpectedly, spill out all at once. I fear that this is what happened with Zoe.”

I shake my head. “With all due respect… that’s not what’s going on with her! Zoe doesn’t have a rebellious or resentful bone in her body. She was just trying to tell our parents the truth!”

“I believe that she told what she thought was the truth. And I believe that how your parents reacted made the problem far worse. But at the end of the day, we are all accountable for our actions. The sooner we get your sister to realize this, the better.”

I want so badly to keep on arguing with him, but I better hold my tongue or I’ll get in trouble again. Man, he really just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get that someone like Zoe would never choose to do something so contrary to her upbringing. Well, hopefully somebody will talk some sense into him, but it’s not gonna be me. I’m not putting my ass on the line while things are still tense.

“I know that this is an upsetting situation… but bear with us,” he tells me, evidently misinterpreting the look on my face. “It’s best if we head downstairs… I still need to start service.”

So, we exit the choir room and head down the stairs. By this point, most people have already made it into the sanctuary. However, when we reach the bottom of the stairs, we see a couple coming in through the side door… Ashley’s parents! -Dramatic sting-

When he sees them, Mr. Palmer’s eyes briefly bulge out of their sockets, but he quickly regains his composure. “Ah… it is good to see you,” he says congenially. “We have much to discuss, but let us do after service. I’d rather not make a scene.”

“I’d rather not make a scene either,” Mrs. Davis says, nodding in agreement. The couple looks unusually dour today. What on earth are they doing here?

Mr. Palmer leaves for the sanctuary, and I take the chance to go tug on Mr. Davis’s sleeve. “Hey! Where’s Zoe?” I ask him. “Did you bring her?”

“Hmm? Oh, good morning Collin. No, the girls are not with us this morning.”

“What? Why would you come here and not bring them?”

He turns to face me. “I very much hope I am wrong about this, but… Alyssa and I may not be here for very long this morning.”

Without further explanation, they make for the sanctuary as well. What a cryptic answer. I guess there’s nothing left to do, so I follow them in.

I dash right for the seat where the rest of my family is. I am expecting to be reprimanded for walking in at the last second (even though it wasn’t my fault,) but it turns out, my parents are quite preoccupied right now. They are furiously whispering among themselves.

“Uh… what’s going on?” I whisper to Derrick.

“Well… a certain couple has decided to emerge,” he says darkly. “Ashley’s parents.”

“Yeah, I know. I bumped into them on the way in.”

I crane my head to look at what Ashley’s parents are doing. They’re just casually walking to the back of the sanctuary. Not stopping to talk to anyone, or even really making eye contact with anyone. Though there are plenty of craned heads looking their way.

My parents are getting up from their seats!

“Hey, wait, where are we going?” I ask.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Dad says sternly. “Your Mother and I are going to go have an adult conversation.”

And they walk off towards the back. Well, I may not understand what’s going on, but you bet your ass I’m not missing the chance to watch some juicy drama go down. I get up from my seat and try to discreetly scuttle off to where Ashley’s parents are. Derrick gives me a bemused look but keeps his seat.

My parents position themselves next to Ashley’s and draw themselves up to their full height. Most of the area nearby has hushed the usual chatter to watch. Ashley’s parents don’t seem to have noticed what’s going on yet; they’re seemingly talking about the program with bored expressions on their faces. I’m pretty sure they’re just intently ignoring everyone else.

“So,” my mother begins threateningly. “Since you were so bold as to come here, explain to us all what you are doing with our daughter.”

Mrs. Davis, who is closer to the aisle, doesn’t respond for a few seconds, but then looks up and finally seems to notice my parents standing over her. “Hmm… Oh, hello Marie. What were you saying?” she asks in a pleasant tone of voice.

Mom blinks, surprised, but then her expression hardens again. “What are you doing with our daughter?” she asks again.

Mrs. Davis leans back in her pew. “Momentarily providing shelter, until you can find it in your hearts to act like adults,” she explains.

“Given what you’re doing, you have a lot of nerve showing up here,” Dad chimes in.

“Refresh my memory… what are we doing, exactly?” Mrs. Davis responds.

“You’re going to allow your child to practice filth, aren’t you? And if that were not bad enough, you have taken one of our children into your home to do the same.”

“I don’t know… you haven’t been over in a while, but Ashley keeps her room pretty clean. And she’s very good about doing her laundry in a timely manner. I sure as hell wasn’t that clean when I was her age. I had clothes all over the floor… drove my parents crazy.”

“You are avoiding the issue! Do you deny that you are going to allow the practice of the homosexual lifestyle in your household?”

“Oh, that’s what you’re talking about. You should’ve been more clear!” Mrs. Davis gives off a strange smirk.

Mr. Palmer has given up on trying to pretend that everything is normal and is now walking down the aisle. He is clearly in no hurry; in fact, he looks rather reluctant to be here at all.

“Ah, you two. I should have known,” he says solemnly as he arrives. “I thought I made it clear that I wished to discuss certain matters with you after the service… but if you are so intent on having a discussion now, I would like to come before you as your pastor and hear what is bothering you.”

“Alright. Trust me, Jared, I would’ve much rather waited until after the service as well,” Ashley’s mom states. “But since these two are still clearly out of their mind, we’ll divulge some of our thoughts on the current situation.”

Both of Ashley’s parents rise from their seats and walk past my parents into the center aisle. There, however, they both come to a stop, facing the rest of the congregation. By this point, most people seem to have realized what’s going on and are turning to look. Ashley’s parents then turn and face one another. They stare at each other so intensely, that I get the impression that somehow the two are communicating via telepathy. Then, Mr. Davis gives his wife a small nod, and she turns back towards the others and begins to speak.

“To the Parkers, and to the congregation at large, I would like to pose a riddle. First of all, I know that you are clear and outspoken in your belief in the value of human life. Your stance is that you are pro-life: You believe that life is precious, and that it is worthy of protection, starting from the very moment that a sperm fertilizes an egg, and continuing up until the fateful day in which our souls depart from our bodies at last. Very well, then. So, consider this. What would become of Zoe, had nobody come to her aid? My fear is that it would’ve ended like a story I’ve heard countless times. A child who is forsaken by her own parents has few places to go in the world. If they are lucky, like Zoe was, they will have friends or other family members take them in. Otherwise, they are effectively homeless, living in shelters, or couch surfing, or sleeping in the back of a car, or in the park of a large city. You get the idea.

“It’s a terrible fate to befall on anyone. Put aside, for a moment, whether or not you believe that homosexuality is an inherent moral wrong. If children are a gift from God, whom we are morally obligated to bring to term, otherwise we shall disrespect the blessing of the Lord; doesn’t it naturally follow that we are obligated to take our children from birth up until adulthood? Upon what basis would we be justified, then, in rejecting this blessing? If the child is gay, shall we say to the Lord, ‘This child you bestowed upon me is not mine, and I want nothing to do with it!’ No. Sexual orientation, as science has found, is a state of nature that cannot be altered once set. Therefore, the child, as God knew them in the womb, is given this characteristic by Him… for what reason, we do not know. But that much is clear. To suggest that to simply be born in a certain manner is to be more sinful than any other person, is to speak blasphemy, for it is a rejection of God as the Creator of life. And so, what, at the end of the day, morally distinguishes the actions of the Parkers from the actions of the Yips? Nothing. Absolutely nothing!”

Mrs. Davis stops speaking, breathing deeply. The congregation, by this point, is totally silent. I guess everyone else is too in awe of their sheer nerve to interrupt, but I do hear muttering coming from the corners of the hall. All eyes are on Mr. Palmer to see how he’ll react.

“Hmph,” he begins. “So you say that we ought to accept one’s vices, if they are predisposed to that vice? There are those in the world who are born to be genetically predisposed to alcoholism. Shall we leave the alcoholic to his debauchery, up until he has killed himself via alcohol poisoning?”

Mrs. Davis shakes her head. “That’s a bad metaphor, and you know it. One who is predisposed to alcoholism does not suffer from this until taking the first drink.”

“So you say,” Mr. Palmer says disdainfully. “But you ought to double check where you draw your values from. It sounds rather to me like you are basing your knowledge in the wisdom of the world, and not in faith.”

“Just because it’s of the world doesn’t mean it’s wrong!” Mrs. Davis snipes back. “We use science to inform our faith- that is how it has always been.”

“Well… after gleaning so much about your personal worldview, one thing has become clear to us,” my dad says. “Everything that we feared about your household’s downward spiral is true. We shall, henceforth, be taking any action necessary to save our daughter.”

For a brief moment, fear flashes across Mrs. Davis’s face. But then, her scowl returns. “Save her, huh?” She retorts. “You have yet to give any good reason why you kicked her out to begin with! You know what? After what’s happened today, we’re not coming back here. You have the word of the Lord printed in every pew, and you proclaim His holiness with your lips. But in the back room, I see the devil sitting, smoking a cigar. And in my dreams, I hear the Lord’s booming voice, saying ‘Get the hell out of there!’ This house of worship has morphed into a heart of darkness.”

Mrs. Davis seems like she’s finally done. She’s so worked up about this, that she’s gone red in the face. But then, she jerks her head towards her husband, as if to say, “It’s your turn.” Mr. Davis clears his throat.

“Gregg, do you have something to say too?” Mr. Palmer asks.

“I do,” he says. “Have you all not experienced the dark night of the soul? For it is the believer who feels weak and insecure in faith who will cling to what is comfortable and familiar. We wish to hide the world from our sights, by surrounding ourselves with only that which is clean, pure, and holy. But should a Christian fear the world? For it is we who were chosen to go into the world as workers. Is a doctor afraid of the hospital, or of his patients? Is a teacher afraid of the school, or of her students? What good is a worker of God who fears the world and despises those who walk without faith? We are called to be the salt of the earth.(1) What good is it, to the stew, for salt to stay within the saltshaker? I fear that Christians in this country have become complacent in power. Christians were not meant as a group to wield social and political power; we are tasked to turn the other cheek(2), and to give to Caesar what is Caesar’s(3). In the beginning, we had nothing. We were hated and persecuted. And so it will be in the end, before the Lord rises again(4). And in countries across the world, we are still hated, murdered in droves by Islamic terrorists or Communist governments. And yet, here in the United States, things are different. We are not only free to practice, but in fact, it is Christians who dominate our social power structures. And yet, when that power is threatened, we will cling to it by any means necessary. When the schools set a non-religious academic agenda, we claim we are persecuted. When retail stores say ‘Happy Holidays’ instead of ‘Merry Christmas,’ we claim we are persecuted. When we are asked to tolerate others who are not like us, we claim we are persecuted. Have you not the self-awareness to see how utterly commiserable you have become? Ah, the trees and the forest, how often must they be in competition for our attentions! The Holy Land has not been ours for millennia. When we are ordered to be the salt of the earth, are we to still believe ourselves a city on a hill?

“It has been frequently noted over the course of our congregations that the generation who is coming of age today; that generation which our children belong to; has rejected our faith in unprecedented high numbers. This is rightfully a concern; but are we to draw the conclusion that this phenomenon is wholly caused by a failing of this generation? That an institution which is thousands of years old is on decline, because today’s youth are simply more selfish, more undisciplined, and more hedonistic, than any other young generation in the history of society? It is a bold claim to make; and, conveniently, one which requires no action on our part to amend, for it is of no fault of ours that the young generation of today have naturally less moral character than any other, or is raised to have less moral character than any other by those outside of our ranks. What shall we do, then? Well, how often in our personal relationships is the pointed finger a symbol of deferred responsibility? Consider that we, as an organization, have cultivated a culture of apathy and contempt towards those among us who are the most forsaken; the most destitute; and the most impecunious of all. But did not the Lord say that any beggar, any vagrant stripped of a home, may yet be an angel in the clothing of men?(5) It is written, “As you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.”(6) Consider the parable of the harvest. The workers sow the seeds into the earth; which shall flourish, and at the harvest, the farmer shall use those who have born good fruit to multiply the harvest exponentially; and determine Himself which fruit bears bad fruit, and therefore is better thrown into the fire;(7) and yet we are workers whom, though our duty is to sow seeds, we instead go into the fields with hatchets, to butcher those crops which are yet to be ready for the harvest; because we are willfully blind to the wondrous fruits of which shall someday come of those crops; we hack and slash not with divine insight, or impartial cogitation, but with a sense of self-preservation of that which is personally comfortable and familiar. What good are we then, to the farmer? How can a field of workers, through centuries of intellectual inbreeding, grow hostile towards its own accredited duty? And so… we will seek greener pastures than here.”

And on that note, they finally leave, seemingly having said their piece.

For a while, there is stunned silence. I take the opportunity to get back to where I was supposed to be sitting before.

Well, that’s about as exciting as things ever get around here. My brain is swimming, trying to process everything that just happened. What did Dad mean by “any means necessary” to get Zoe back? Does that mean we’re going for the nuclear option? Also, what even was like, half of the shit Mr. Davis said? Whatever it was, it was pretty awesome. I guess I got what I hoped for from earlier. We’ll see what Mr. Palmer says after he gets back up to the podium…

When he does, he spends a few moments adjusting his glasses, and then slowly turns his face upwards to face the congregation.

“As you have no doubt just heard, there is a family among us who seems to have left our ranks forever. As pastor, it is always my hope that I shall be able to resolve disputes among our members peacefully; in this case, I was unable to do so. We will continue our service as planned today, but first, I would like to take this moment to reaffirm to you all the unique position we are in as Christians. We base our lives solely off of the wisdom of God. Those outside of these walls, all that they have is the wisdom of the world. Whenever you walk into a bookstore, now, there are rows upon rows of so-called ‘self-help’ books. That speaks volumes about how empty life is for those who abandon the values of God. There is only one thing that will bring us true fulfillment in life, and that is if we come together, united as one church, to spread God’s word through the world, armed with the full armor of God and the shield of faith.(8)”

So that’s his response. Yeah, I’m not buying that.

I’m kinda glad to hear that Ashley’s parents are going to take care of my sister… but on the other hand, does this mean that she’s not coming home after all? This thought makes me feel lonely… But on the other other hand, our parents really seem to be off their rockers for the time being, so maybe it’s in her best interests to stay there, at least for now. I’ll have to be sure to keep up with her on Skype or something.

The title: Matthew 7:24-27

Matthew 5:13 Matthew 5:39 Mark 12:17 This is articulated many times in The Bible, but one such time is Matthew 24:9 Hebrews 13:2 Matthew 25:45 Matthew 13:3-8;19-23 Ephesians 6:10-17