《Exploring the Gateway》An exercise in understanding.

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’Why? How could I freeze up? After all that’s happened, am I so willing to throw away my life?’ that was the constant thought going through John’s head. Repeated over and over again. He had already headed back towards the base distractedly, and was shown the way to the general quarters where the others were staying. Opting instead to go back to Springfield and to Alice’s home. Dinner would probably be served soon, and he didn’t intend to break any more promises anytime soon. As he made his way through the mansion, a somewhat unexpected figure showed up. Ember appeared out of thin air in the corner of his eye, just as she had so many times before. John guessed that she was cloaked beforehand.

“Ingrid wants to see you,” she said simply, her tone as cold as ever. John wasn’t sure he had a choice here, but he didn’t care.

“I’m going home for now. I’ll see her after,” he said, exactly as simply. There was a limit to what he would take.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about as well…” her response was completely against what he expected. More than that, it didn’t share any of her usual cold demeanor. She sounded almost hopeful, but for the first time, she looked sad. John was confused, but there was nothing more to say, so he continued on.

“I’ll find you first when I get back then,” he kept going. She smiled half heartedly before disappearing into one of the corridors close by.

John walked through the industrial hallways, each one more alien to him than the last. The occasional burst of people walking through them only made it somewhat more tolerable. Giving him a moment’s distraction from the war waging in his head. Ember's strange comment had only added more fuel to the metaphorical fire. He felt utterly lost within his own mind, and he knew he didn’t have the time for that.

When he thought of Alice, Ember or any of the others something clicked within him. That feeling of despair that was still with him faded. He started to believe he was needed, that he could help, it eased whatever dread had sprung up inside him. Now he wondered, ’was what he had thought back then even an excuse, or did I really just give up my life for some semblance of fucking purpose? After all that had happened, do I care so little for my own life?’ it wasn’t a question he could answer easily, nor one he really wanted to consider. Soon enough he reached the portal, and found a distraction in that.

His world shattered once more, and he was back in that same warehouse in Springfield. As he walked outside, he noticed the stats of the party that were once on the side of his vision were now dim and blank, showing nothing but their names.

It was just starting to get dark when he reached Alice’s house. He wasn’t sure how long it took, so John took out his phone and checked it, seeing it was about eight thirty. Sure it wasn’t too late, he approached the front door and knocked on it.

“Come in!” he heard Alice’s mother, Hanna Wright, shout through the door. Despite that, the one who met him when he opened it was none other than Alice herself.

“I figured it was you,” before he even stepped through the door she grabbed him, drawing him into a hug and a deep kiss. Her body felt soft against his, and it was especially comforting after all that had happened. She leaned her head against his shoulder for a while before she spoke again, “don’t think I’m not angry at you though! You can’t just run off like that,” she grabbed his hand with a bit of force and led him towards the small dining room on the ground floor.

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A large table made out of oak wood stood in the middle of it. Which clearly wasn’t used very often, given the dust gathering on its legs and the rest of the room. The various shelves around the table that held plates, glasses, and other household implements were the only things that remained clean. Among them was an especially clean wine cabinet on the other side of the room. It was sparkling, and housed quite a number of impressive bottles and glasses. John did notice the table had been cleaned recently, however, and was set for three people. He figured it had room for about seven, but only three chairs were still there. One was set opposite the other two, and the plates were laid the same way. Like the table, the chairs were made of clean oak, though padded with some faux-leather material.

Almost as soon as they entered, Alice sat down, and with a light yank dragged John to sit beside her. Despite how unused the dining room felt, it gave off a homely atmosphere that John found pleasant. Returning a sense of normalcy to him that he had not felt for some time.

“I know you can’t tell me everything. But are you at least going to tell me how your first day went?” she asked, her tone clearly curious.

“It went well, I guess. Met some of the others I’m gonna work with. They were pretty friendly. And I need to talk to my boss when I get back there. I’m a bit worried about that, but that’s everything, I think,” John responded, distracted. Her mother was still in the kitchen so it was probably alright to say that much, at least.

“John, you ok? You seem a bit out of it today,” she sounded genuinely worried.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just got stuff on my mind,” the room went silent for a minute. John didn’t know what more to say, and even if he did he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

“Is it something you can’t talk about?” she asked, her tone annoyed but still serious.

“Sorry,” he admitted, “but it’s not the kind of thing I want to talk about either,” another bit of silence passed, “how’s your day gone?” John broke the silence, feeling awkward now. While all he wanted to be there and just talk to her, there was something undercutting it.

“It went fine, you know how Ashcroft is. Wish you were still there, but I get that you need to do this,” for a second John thought he noticed a sad expression sneak into her face. It was almost immediately eliminated when she kept talking, “Brad and Tiffany are still as idiotic as ever though. That piece of shit actually got his head stuck in a locker today. Was the funniest thing to ever happen at school,” she laughed, and so did John. Ashcroft was almost foreign to him now, but she was still there. He wasn’t happy he couldn’t still go there with her either, it would have been simpler for everybody.

“I wish I was still there too. Kinda miss it, I suppose.”

“Doubt it, you just miss time with me,” she kissed him on the lips with a smile. After continuing for a couple of seconds they kept the conversation going. Talking about some new games Alice had been interested in. It lasted for a couple of minutes before Hanna entered the room.

“You two think you can just sit here?” she stood near the door, her hands on her hips. Her anger was clearly fake, as she chuckled soon after, “come on, I need some help in the kitchen,” John was hesitant to get up, the conversation with Alice had finally been going well, but she yanked him along, smiling.

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“We can keep talking later, you know!” she said with a knowing look.

For the next half an hour both John and Alice helped around the kitchen. Cutting and peeling various vegetables and ingredients to be used in the food Hanna was making. Once the food had been finished, they all sat down at the dining table, and only then did the two teenagers see the entire meal. Despite its standard look, with a simple salad along with a juicy looking steak and some potatoes, John knew there was more hiding there. Alice’s mother had forced them to cut everything from onions to ginger, and when he tasted some of the food the effect was obvious. It was at the same time both a very homely meal but with an exotic taste he enjoyed. Clearly, the cook was skilled, or insane, he figured it was a toss up.

“I heard you left Ashcroft,” Hanna asked as they began eating. She spoke calmly and clearly, “If that is true, I must ask. What are you doing now?” he saw a glint in her eyes, as if she knew more than she was letting on.

’No, that’s impossible,’ John knew that, but something was off.

“Eh,” John coughed, “I’m going to a college nearby. Got a scholarship for it off my grades.”

“Oh? And your parents agreed to it?”

“Yeah, it’s a good school. And they said that it makes sense. Since that’s the reason I went to Ashcroft in the first place.”

“That sounds like your parents,” she paused for a minute, “And do they know of your relationship with Alice?” John thought that was a strange question, but he answered nonetheless.

“They do.”

“And? Do they approve of it.”

“I didn’t ask, as there’s no reason for them not to. And even if they didn’t, I don’t care. Neither of them is the arbiter of my choices,” Alice gave him a strange look for a second.

“You sound just like her,” the older woman chuckled and Alice looked livid, “I suppose that’s an acceptable answer,” she stood up and grabbed a bottle of wine from the cabinet. Pouring herself a drink, she sat back down again and placed the bottle on the table.

"Now. I want to know, because Alice refused to tell me. What did you do to convince her to talk to you again?" her voice was calm, but her eyes hid an accusation that was barely veiled, and there was an energy to them that was utterly terrifying.

“That’s enough,” Alice was the one to stand up this time, “If all you invited him here to do was to interrogate him, you should have done that when I wasn’t here,” her anger burst out in a second. She sat back down again only a second later, but any further comment was unnecessary. John could see it in her mother’s expression.

The conversation turned to quiet small talk after that outburst. Despite it, John enjoyed himself, with the good food and both their company, but he knew that the end of it would bring with it a fateful talk. When everyone had finished eating, and they had chewed the fat for some time, Hanna asked John to stay there for a short while. Alice looked angry once again, but this time she was content to leave them alone. Once she had left, John was the one to start the conversation.

“You know as well as I do that your husband was Abyssal, don’t you?”

“Abyssal? I don’t think demonic entities have anything to do with my husband,” her tone sounded genuine, but John wasn’t falling for it.

“Fine then, what do you know about him you haven’t told Alice? Ask me any questions you want, I don’t care, but that both of us need to know. I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t asked you that herself yet.”

“I know just as much as my daughter does. She’s much more resourceful about that sort of thing anyhow,” John doubted that very much. Hanna was a cunning woman, a lawyer, if he remembered correctly. Not a profession that takes people who wouldn’t question things of such mysterious nature.

“I guess I know now why she hasn’t before. Now go ahead and ask me any question you want to, I’ll try to answer them.”

“There’ll be no need for that, I know all I wanted to,” she said, smiling at him, and as she headed upstairs, he was sure he saw a wink too.

’She knows something, I’m sure. I guess I’ll have to find it the hard way,’ he thought, before his mind turned back to Alice. He went up the stairs quickly, intending to say goodbye for the day, at least.

He made his way into her room as the door was still open. Alice was sitting on her bed, toying with a plushie of an anime character John couldn’t recognize. Once she saw him she threw it back onto her bed and jumped on him, kissing him again, and just as passionately as before.

“You’re going again, aren’t you?” she said softly.

“I have to.”

“Nobody can force you to do anything, you know that too,” Alice was annoyed with him, that much he was sure of.

“Probably, but I have to protect you, and this is part of my responsibility now,” John’s tone was unusually grim. He felt like he had aged ten years in the span of a week, but his new world was exactly that absurd.

“I can protect myself,” she chuckled slightly.

"I know, but I don't think anyone can protect themselves from this. Definitely not either of us,” he kissed her again, before leaving the room while saying a gentle goodbye.

John returned to the first plane almost an hour later. It was almost midnight at that time. He expected a cold welcome from Ember or Ingrid, but found neither. Given the late hour, he decided against searching for the spy, despite wanting to. So he went to the only place he knew how to find, his new quarters.

The steel halls were far more creepy when they were so utterly devoid of people, and the dim lights didn’t help. He walked without purpose for a while before he finally oriented himself with his mini-map. Eventually, the corridors turned to the wood of the mansion and he reached the quarters area. A small but fancy wing of the building which was dedicated to sleeping quarters. Indicated by the various nameplates and signs near the doors.

It didn’t take him long to find his own lavish room, which was larger than his bedroom back in Springfield. The bed was of Victorian design as with everything there, and even had a light silk curtain surrounding it. Right of him stood a small door that led into an equally fancy bathroom. Once he took a short shower and refreshed himself after the long events of the day, he collapsed on the bed.

His vision faded as he drifted to sleep.

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