Chapter 13

Hobbies and Formations

After the mind blowing conversation with the doctor who at the very least helped me to reset my expectations with this life. I went about trying to do somethings he recommended. He recommended I above all things set up a schedule and find points to help anchor myself. Part of PDD is that I have such vivid dreams that often they are indistinguishable from the real life. This might explain my inherent anger and feelings of betrayal when I look at Jess. While I know she has never wronged me in this life, or if PDD is to be understood in any life. I must realize she is just one person, likely someone who I will not get along with in time. Thus, my mind was giving me warnings not to proceed a relationship with her.

That said, I do a few things that I did in my visions of the other lives. Also, with PDD, it is recommended that I start thinking of those twelve other lives as not past lives, but other possible futures that I witnessed in chronological order. Each allowing me to gain a multitude of experiences and understandings that would set me up to not only meet but exceed my expectations.

Picking up my violin, I look at it with apprehension. To me this is truly a paradox of some sorts. Either I am still in an endless loop of death and rebirth, or those were just visions to help me succeed in this life. Either way I am blessed with knowledge that should be beyond my years. Take for instance my complete understanding of how to control and manipulate my powers. Going so far as to generate self-created locking runes that have never been seen before. These are works that I clearly remember working on extensively through my past lives, but did I come about them naturally, or are they some sort of divine inspiration?

Even looking at the violin causes apprehension. By having it, I can either prove that I did learn skills in addition to ways to control and use my powers while experiencing my visions. Or I could realize that my abilities stop at a certain point, and I will just be left wanting.

Holding the violin my fingers tremble for a second. Then closing my eyes, I take in a deep breath, then let it out. In an instant the instrument is tucked under my chin, while my left hand is dancing along the cords, while my right hand strums the bow effortlessly.

Music.

It is an old melody, one that almost everyone is taught when first beginning. Even my lower Dexterity hands can keep up with the pace needed for this song. Then once that ends, I feel confident enough to try another song. This would be considered an intermediate song, one that shows depth and pacing. I get to the crescendo and end with a flurry of notes. Finally, by the third song I feel confident in my knowledge. While my body still has ways to go to reach my perceived level of expertise, I am still able to recreate many of the songs I used to play in my old lives.

As the songs come to me, I feel a wave of release. This is confirmation. In a way this helps me realize that I am not crazy. That while my memories of the past might have been mere possible visions of the future, I can feel confident that the skills I learned there have transferred back with me.

I continue to play, letting the day slowly begin to fade. Until finally I am tired. While I’ve cast cleanse on myself multiple times to continue playing, I still feel exhaustion. This is more the mental exhaustion that comes after realizing an important lesson. Or fully being able to understand a concept that has been denied to you for so long. For the first time in this life, I not only picked up the violin, but I played it masterfully.

Phew.

I let out a breath as, I feel relaxed for the first time since I re-awoke. No, that is not entirely true. There was one other time I didn’t feel stressed at all, and that was with her, at the diner.

Clap. Clap.

I turn to see Mel, the very person I had just been thinking about clapping as she appeared in a holo-vid. Suddenly I realize my mistake that I had set her calls to always be allowed through once classes were over. This was done to make sure I didn’t accidentally miss a call by having my ringer on silent after classes were over. If I let through the only person that truly mattered to me, then I would never miss their calls.

I turn to her and feel somewhat exposed.

“Um, hey.” I say, smoothly as I try to pack up the violin. I need something to do with my hands before I do something odd like fidget. I played from the soul a moment ago, and while I might not have minded playing for her in the future. I still wanted to make sure I was good enough.

“That was amazing!” Mel says a genuine glow to her face and words.

Suddenly with that, I stop and look at her. She isn’t mocking me, or scoffing. As far as I can tell she is impressed.

“Would you like me to play for you, well again?” I ask.

“Yes, please. Very much so!” She is excited.

Hearing her words, I wonder something. “Out of curiosity, how long were you listening to me?”

“Not long, only an hour or so.”

“Only an hour?” I ask. Then looking at my communicator I began this training two hours ago. Apparently, she called and remained quiet the whole time. Fortunately, I think she called after my warmup sessions, but still the idea of having been caught is a little frightening.

“An hour? You sure you wouldn’t want to talk or something?” I ask.

“Aww. We could do that too, but you are so marvelous.” She says with a somewhat pout that looks endearing on her.

“So why did you call?” I ask as I turn to her and pull my violin and bow out once more. We had been scheduled to call later, which was why I was caught by surprise by her sudden appearance.

“Mave,” Mel says while moving a piece of hair behind her ear. “She said I needed to call you immediately.”

I pause, when a Seer tells you to do something it is always best to do so. But still, I have to wonder, “why?”

“She wouldn’t say.” Mel says, clearly looking off in the distance to someone who is there with her.

Mumbled words.

“Ah, now she tells me. She said you would have kept this part a secret from me, until you thought you were good enough. Though she thinks you would never think yourself good enough to perform for me.” She says, then with a surprise she looks to me. “Wait, you play that well and you didn’t think you were good enough for me?”

I stumble, my mouth going open and shut a few times, as I am not quite certain how to respond to the look of pain on her face. Finally, I decide to come clean with her, right here and now. I decide it might be better to get it over with now, before it gets too far, and I have my hopes of a good future dashed.

“Well, would you believe me if I said this was my first time every picking up a violin, let alone playing one.” I state, then after a pause I add, “in this life?”

Hearing this and my sudden apprehension, Mel looks back.

More mumbled words.

“Oh, this is that P…”

Mumbled.

“PDD, you were talking about.” Mel asks.

Hearing her speak is both concerning and a relief all in one. She clearly has Mave there, who identified that I might have PDD during our first meeting.

Mumbled.

“Okay, I’ve been told the basics, though it still seems tough to fully comprehend. I also want you to know that I want to be a part of your life. Even if we remain just friends is fine, but I really…” Mel trails off. Finally, after a second, she steels her resolve. “I think you are the most interesting person I’ve met in a long time. The more I find out about you, the more I want to find out more. I also want to point out you were likely correct about the power dynamic. If we had remained as we were then, I likely wouldn’t feel capable of having a true relationship with you.”

She then pauses, as she looks at me for a moment.

“Are you okay? You seem different than when we spoke earlier.”

She is right, of course. Earlier when we previously spoke it was before my PDD diagnosis, one that she seems to be familiar with, which is good. Also, the idea of her knowing about my condition is somewhat scary.

“I am going through a bit, mentally. You are with Mave so you likely heard the term PDD, but do you know what it means?”

“No, but I would like to.”

“Well short version, I have powerful Precognitive abilities. Abilities that were so vast that they let me experience the equivalent of twelve lifetimes during the Awakening Trials. Thus, I came out with knowledge that should not be available without excessive training and discipline. Thus, my ability to play the violin like an expert, even though this is my first time touching a violin in this life.” I admit.

She nods.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asks.

I nod, and about to say as much when.

Mumble.

“Oh, Mave says it is time for us to go now. But I wanted to say thank you for playing for me and not being mad that I watched you perform. And know that I mean it when I say, I truly did appreciate the performance.” Mel says.

Mumble.

“Right, got to go.” Mel says, giving a mock salute to someone in the background, most like Mave if the way she is talking is any indication.

“Bye.”

“Bye.” With that Mel disappears as our connection is terminated.

I feel strangely relieved that she saw that side of me. While I was not ready for her to witness that aspect of me just yet. I am glad that Mave saw the moment for what it was.

I am about to put away the violin when I feel the sudden need to play. I am so lost in playing that I barely notice when two cadets come my way. I open my eyes and look at the two who are approaching. By the looks they are two females, their forms in the ever-dwindling light give that away. Then out of shock I realize who the two are. One is Jess, because of course it would have to be her. The other is her female friend, the name escapes me for a second. Then I remember, Joyner, Cadet Joyner.

They at first approached like they had something to say, but then stopped a few paces away to listen to me play. Feeling their eyes on me is enough for me to end my song early.

“Can I help you?” I ask.

“Um.” Joyner says, locking eyes with me and then suddenly growing scared.

“You are late for evening formations.” Jess says. With that I inwardly groan. Of course, even though I was now effectively on my own to get trained and certified for both ground and space related military roles, I am still to spend morning and evening formations with my classmates. The idea is to build camaraderie with my fellow classmates. While we all have different life trajectories, we can at least have the same starting point. At least that is the original intention of this. I really think the importance of these meetings is to show who is succeeding and who is failing.

Still, this is a meeting that I was told I still had to attend, even after my counseling session ended a little late. Nodding to the two I pack up the violin and gesture for the two to lead the way to our formation site.

Honestly, I cannot recall this detail, so maybe this is more proof of my PDD? That or maybe this evening formation eventually got replaced by something else? I honestly don’t know. Though I have decided to try to calm down, at least for the moment.

As we get back, most of the students are in the push-up position. This is corporal punishment at its finest, as apparently everyone in formation was getting punished because I was not there. I remember these types of lessons from my past li… from my visions, but this is my first time seeing it in person.

“Care to tell us where you were Cadet Goldman?” The DI asks. This is one I don’t recognize from my previous lives, but his name plate clearly states his name in big bold letters Hopewell.

I hold up the violin case, “I was just practicing the violin and lost track of time.”

“Just practicing? You any good?” DI Hopewell asked, as he gestured for the other cadets to rise and get back into formation.

“Hard to say, this is my first day ever touching one.” I speak.

Apparently, Jess and Cadet Joyner are looking at me with odd expressions. The DI looks at them, then back to me.

“Perhaps you should play for us, since your practice was worth being late to my formation.” The DI shouts.

With a shrug, I pull out the violin and bow.

“Anything in particular, DI?” I ask.

He smiles, play something new.

I think for a second, before my favorite song comes to mind. With a mental breakdown of the cords, chorus and beat, I focus and then begin playing Endar Rising. It apparently is a song that was recently taken from the Endar and modernized.

The cords are crisp on the night air and carry quite well. After a few seconds I close my eyes, as I need to focus on the cords I remember from the song and instantly translate them to strings that need to be played. After a few moments the song comes to a crashing crescendo, and I end with a flourish.

Silence.

“So that’s what you were practicing?”

“Not that song. I was just practicing, DI.” I answer.

“Well now that you are here you can spend the rest of the formation in the push-up position.” Then a slight pause, “actually you were the one doing those handstand push-ups earlier?”

He asks and it takes me a minute to realize that this very incident had been earlier today. I truly had a packed day. I got my testing completed before lunchtime. After which I was summoned to the counseling session. Then from there I grabbed a quick bite to eat. From there my violin practice. Then this, now a final formation. I really hoped that other days would not be this packed.

“Yes, DI.”

“Good, stand up here and do handstand push-ups until I get tired.” He states. I go to the spot he indicates, tucking in my shirt and placing my violin case on the ground. Then with an ease of motion I should not be used to in this body I do a half cartwheel and stop with my feet up in the air. From there, I begin pumping out the hand-stand push-ups while the DI drones on and on. Honestly, I tune him out after he begins talking about places to go to learn to control your powers, and how a good night’s sleep is important for developing one’s powers to their true potential. These were all things that I likely would have found interesting my first time through, or at least my first time without PDD to help me.

Everyone begins to move away, but I am lost in my own thoughts, and casting cleanse on my mind and body that I miss the first set of commands. It isn’t until the DI steps right in front of me, giving me a view full of boots that I realize he is talking directly to me.

“I said dismissed, did you not hear me? Is all that blood rushing to your head interfering with your hearing?”

I shake my head. Truthfully, I had totally ignored him in favor of my unpacking my own thoughts. Still, I can’t let him know that, so I divert his attention. “Sorry DI, I did not hear the commands for me to be released.”

“You didn’t hear me say, formation dismissed? Or you didn’t see your fellow cadets also begin to leave?”

Meanwhile I keep pumping out hand-stand push-ups. “I heard that DI, I just didn’t hear the commands that you were in fact tired.”

He stops, pauses for a moment. Then bursts out laughing. “You know what kid, I like you. In that case I will be bored in thirty minutes. Call it a night then.” The DI said.

With a quick glance I looked at my watch and then marked the timer. Exercise was exercise, regardless of when or where it happened. Ultimately this would all help me improve my physical conditioning, so I really didn’t care.

It is apparent that the DI is not going to stay around as he leaves the area almost immediately. Suddenly I am alone in an open field. Fortunately, this is grass, so my hands don’t hurt too much from the constant force. Still a quick few healing spells have my hands working just fine.

“Look the moron is still here.” An annoying voice calls out.

Within seconds I am surrounded by four cadets. Ones who I once called friends. Though those chances to befriend these people has long since passed. Or maybe I never had a chance in this life? I am still a bit confused about the PDD thing and what it truly means. Was it all a way of my mind telling me that I could befriend these wahoos if I tried hard enough? I think about that, then realize I don’t really care about these people.

Kick, slide, scuffle.

“Oh, look at what we have here. An unattended violin case.” Chet, the cadet with the annoying voice calls out as he picks up the violin case that had been kicked out from behind me.

As for me I continue doing my handstand push-ups. I really don’t want to resort to violence. I really don’t want to resort to violence.

He dangles the case, “do you want this back?” He asks mockingly.

Suddenly I can’t take it any longer and just ask the question that is on my mind. “I don’t understand you. Are you trying to be the villain or the martyr here? Your actions seem to be conflicting at best. On the one hand you amass a crowd of would-be onlookers to gaze upon your over inflated ego. Then the next you go and pick a fight with a monster you can’t hope to contend with, let alone comprehend.” I say, trying to be cold and rational.

Laughter.

“Let me guess you are the monster?” He asks mockingly, as he opens the violin case and reaches in to touch the violin. With a shake of my head, I snap the case is Telekinetically shut, right on his finger. The only problem is that the motion is so sharp and quick that the metal lip of the case cuts right through the digit.

“Fucking bastard!” He shouts as he desperately tries to open the case to get his now bleeding finger out.

“I could cauterize it for you.” I say, causing a Pyrokinetic burst of fire to erupt right over top of the case. Not enough to cause any damage, but enough to show I could easily burn him to a crisp if he continues.

“Oww!” He shouts as he drops the case, that plops open, the stub of a finger bouncing out upon impact.

With the digit now available, Chet reaches down to grab the digit, but I have other plans. As he reaches down to grab the finger, his mouth inadvertently opens wide, a reflex of the air leaving his chest as he bends over quickly. When he started moving forward, it was clear he didn’t care about the fire. So rather than roasting him alive I just canceled out the flames. This was good as it freed up my Psionic casting slot for Telekinesis, which I promptly use to grab the finger and shove it down his open mouth.

Gag.

He is choking on his digit. The others who were standing around look on in confusion, clearly not expecting this little scuffle to go this way.

“What is going one here!” A voice demands. In an instant I recognize it as DI Hopewell’s voice.

At the voice, the three lackeys not named Chet run off, fear in their eyes. As for Chet, he would run off, but he is currently choking on his own finger too much to care. Meanwhile blood is spraying liberally from his open finger.

Feeling somewhat sorry for the clown, I cast a Cure Light Wound on the stump of a finger. Within seconds the missing digit seems to regrow out of nothing. I should probably tell Chet that he might want to eat more meat, but then think better of it. The finger he is currently digesting would likely be enough.

Within a second Chet, manages to swallow the finger, before taking off to follow his lackeys.

That just leaves me with the DI, who apparently didn’t go too far away. He looks to see me still doing push up, my violin case laying open on the ground.

“I take it back cadet. I am already tired of you. Get out of here.” He said. With that I smile, finish the cartwheel that I started so long ago. Then not trusting myself to bend over, I pull up the violin case to me with ease. It enters my hand, already latched, and sealed.

The DI just looks at the case, then back to me. “Don’t be late to formation again.” DI Hopewell states.

“Yes, DI.” I reply. I can tell he likely wants to say more, but then just turns away.

“Also do something with that blood. I don’t want any questions coming up during tomorrow’s formation.”

With that he leaves once more. A quick cleanse on the blood dilutes it, then an application of created water, and the scene is washed away, leaving behind only dark brown soil in the wake. With that my first day at the Academy truly ended.