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Asking a Dragon Nicely for Human Robbery

"That's... not really how this is supposed to go," I finally found myself saying as I wondered if those were even the correct words to use. Wasn't I supposed to be scary to princesses? To the fact that they hid away in towers protected by their knight in shining armour? "You see. You're supposed to be scared of me. In fact, you should be running. In the opposite direction."

Silence hung as the princess continued to hang around.

"Y'know... as far away from me as possible."

"But I'm not scared of you."

I blinked. Was that an insult or compliment? I looked to the side as my mind tried to work out that problem. Finally, I had to look back at the damsel somewhat in distress. "Why not?"

"Because stories of your changed behaviour have spread across the lands," the princess said as she dared to saunter deeper into my cavern. "And I figured if there was anyone that could help me—it would be you."

"Yeah, but, y'know, I could also just eat you as well."

"Will you then?" The princess spread open her arms and presented herself. "Then go ahead. Lasso me with your tongue and swallow me whole. Or burn me to ashes with a burst of your flames. Do as you see fit!"

My snout twitched. "Are you fucking crazy? I'm not going to fucking do any of that!"

The princess crossed her arms and smiled. "Exactly."

I squeezed my eyebrows together. "You don't get off to being swallowed alive, do you?"

"Only as much as I enjoyed being burned alive." She looked to the ceiling and nodded her head. "Which is no—just to be safe." She looked at my eyes from over the cliff of my muzzle. "Do you enjoy doing that? Swallowing people whole and burning them alive?'

"Fuck no!"

"Okay," the princess nodded to herself. "Good." Then she tilted my head. "So why should I be afraid of you again? Because you're big? Or because you exhale fire and your claws could carve up my father's castle?"

"Those are some pretty reasonable things to be scared of."

"Would you believe me that I fear my brother's drunken breath more than I do yours?"

"Only because I just used some mouthwash."

The princess curled an eyebrow. "You use mouthwash?"

“A-gain with this shit!” I pounded a fist against the ground and, while the cavern rumbled, the princess calmly stood through it all. "Look inside this mouth real quick, will you?" I parted my lips and revealed the dome inside my mouth. The tongue that was like a thin bridge to her, and the fangs as long and as sharp as this cave's stalactite. "Yue twell mew wone drawgan wuith a qlewner mouth!"

The princess didn't hesitate stepping forward and planting a foot on my bottom lip. She hoisted herself on top of it, holding onto a spit-covered tooth for support. She leaned into my mouth, checking out like one inspecting the quality of a basement.

"Hmm." The princess clapped a hand over her mouth before shouting. "Huu-lll-ooo!" Her voice echoed for a moment, drowned out by subtle splashing from deeper in my maw. Done checking it out, she hopped back, off my lip and onto the ground. "Not bad. Not bad."

I sealed my lips into a smirk. "Better than any other dragon, am I right?"

"That's hard to say," the princess returned back. "Anyone who's seen the inside of another dragon's mouth was usually heading through it. So that's up for debate."

My shoulder slumped. "Good point."

"The lack of remains between your fangs was relieving to see."

"I use vines in a combination with a little something-something to floss." I thought about it some more. "It would be nice if I had magic, though. I would be able to infuse mint into the lava and vines I use for dental care."

The princess made a face as she looked at me. "You're a strange dragon, mister dragon."

"Only strange when you compare me to all the other dragons!" I retorted. "Have you ever gone a few days without brushing your teeth? You go ahead and tell me how that feels."

She nodded. "Point taken."

We lingered in the silence. The princess made no move to leave or to strike up a conversation. I examined her. Ivory skin slightly tanned by living close to the shore, with blue eyes reminding me of the sky. She wore a short white dress. The sort worn before you don the complete set.

"So, uh," I began with a cough. "Are you just coming from the wedding now, or..."

"I'm set to kiss the devil in a couple of hours," the princess answered. "Everyone thinks I'm still in the changing room as we speak. There's not much time left until they've realized that I've been doing more than changing dresses and putting on make-up."

My eyes squeezed into narrowing. "Then how did you—"

"The magic you wish to have." The princess lifted the back of her hand to the air, revealing blue dots glowing from her fingertips. Her face focused into view behind them. "My father wishes to give a powerful bride to the Ancasters to ensure continued peace. Infect their family with ours so their kids won't rage war against our own."

I didn't really feel like I had a right to speak. “That... sucks, I guess?” I laid my chin against the ground to see the princess better. "So... the kids you'll have after this. They'll, uh, have magic like you?"

Her fingers flared into red flames as the princess glared at me through the glow. "I won't be having anyone's kids."

I looked to the side and nodded. "I do hear they suck to have at times."

"It's not even that! It's that I'm going to be locked away again! Transferred from one castle to another." She kicked a patch of pebbles in weakness from being unable to do anything else. "Enslaved from one family to another. Except they'll have even less reason to tolerate me. I know what the Ancasters are like. I've heard all the stories."

I tried to smile. "Not the best of people?"

"The absolute worse, if you have to know!" She had started acting more like a girl than a princess—and it was hard to blame her. She seemed to be the same age as me—just having barely entered adulthood. "They'll hold food back from me. Lock me into a room until I listen... insult me even if I choose to obey. I can't live like that. Not again. I will never be treated that way by strangers.”

The princess huffed and plopped onto the ground. She hugged her knees to her chest and laid the side of her head on them. "I'd rather be eaten by a dragon than live such a fate."

Then she shook as she rose, looking at me from a distance. "No offence, of course."

"Uh, none taken?" I offered. "But you do want to be kidnapped by one?"

"Not normally, no," the princess replied. "It's just—I ran through all the ways I could escape the wedding. Running away. Paying pirates to abduct me. No matter what I came up with, though, my family—or theirs—will eventually find me. Plus..."

She laid her cheek back across her knees. "It would kill my father to know how much I detest him."

Out of all the things I had been expecting to happen today... this was not one of them. I was almost hoping some knight or lunatic would have come to try and slay me again. Those, while annoying, were easy to deal with. But the princess saw me as more than a beast.

She saw me as someone.

Someone who could help.

"I guess a daughter has no choice but to love her father," I said as a vague guess to her previous family troubles. I shook my head, though, in an attempt to steady myself in the present situation. "It looks bad on him, doesn't it? His daughter, running away, after he slaved away to make the wedding possible."

And then her plan clicked in my head.

"But if a rageful dragon appears, and steals the fair maiden away," I followed her line of thinking. "Then he can't be blamed, and the two families are joined in their hatred of the dragon, at the loss in their newly joined family."

I blinked out from my vision of the ploy. "But there's no coming back from that. You know that, right? I don't doubt that life is tough for a princess—hard in a different way, at least." I nudged my muzzle closer toward her. "But if this works... you'll be on your own. Nobody to help you. No gold or resources or anything. Do you even have skills to make it out there? A plan or even a place to stay?"

The princess looked up at my covered face and smiled, resting a hand on my chin, not minding the sensation of my shifting scales. She looked up into my eyes and saw through to the person trapped behind them.

"The best way to learn how to swim... is to be tossed into the water."

I chuckled, but did so softly, not wanting to lose her touch. "Yeah. Say that to all the people who drowned that way."

Her hand lifted from my scales, and only her fingers lingered. "You won't help me, then?"

I paused.

And then thought about my answer.