[ZERO SPACE]

A stoic dragonoid wandered through dreary catacombs, his long blue sword dangling from his hip. This character was generic, yet effective: Dragonoids had above-average strength and agility. Swords were simple and to the point.

HIs outfit was as uninspired as the rest of him. Drab brown armor loosely fit plain gray scales. This dragonoid would stand out in a crowd, simply by how much he didn’t stand out.

The catacombs' greatest treasure lay just ahead: a golden shield, bearing the image of a dragon. It stood upon a decorative mantle in a suspiciously large room.

The dragonoid dashed towards it --

Hot pink spikes erupted from the ground, piercing through every scale on his body. Spiderwebs and dust soaked up leaking dragonoid blood.

[THE HAVEN]

Coder Joe removed his headset, chucking it to the side. Zydan sat across from him with an all-knowing smirk.

“I see you made the spikes impossible again,” said Coder Joe.

“I reverted them to pink too,” said Zydan. “For old time’s sake.”

“Kyle wouldn’t like this,” said Coder Joe. “What a shame he didn’t show up for work today.”

“Hardly surprising,” said Zydan. “That junior designer moved up the ladder too fast. The pressure probably went to his head.”

“I’m sure that’s not all that went to his head,” said Coder Joe.

“What are you implying?” asked Zydan.

“Look, do I need to spell it out for you?” asked Coder Joe. “You’re afraid of competition. And I’m tired of watching it.”

Zydan’s face twitched.

“Well then, Coder Joe,” said Zydan. “What are you going to do about it?”

Coder Joe sighed and turned back to his work.

“That’s what I thought,” said Zydan.

Zydan placed his hands on the back of Coder Joe’s chair.

“I’ve never liked your attitude much, Coder Joe,” said Zydan. “Programmers are always so cranky.”

Coder Joe did his best to ignore him.

“Here, I’ve got something to cheer you up,” said Zydan.

Zydan extended his hands: there was nothing in them.

“I don’t see anything,” said Coder Joe.

“Look up,” said Zydan.

A blue bar hovered in mid-air above Coder Joe’s head, like a boss health bar in Zero Space. Only this one had Joe’s name on it:

CODER JOE

Coder Joe croaked, his keyboard trembling beneath his fingers.

“Zy, Zydan,” said Coder Joe. “What, what is that?”

“Oh, just something fun I use for special occasions,” said Zydan.

The health bar drained at a steady pace.

CODER JOE

“I, I don’t like this,” Coder Joe stuttered. “Make, make it stop.”

“I will,” said Zydan. “Or maybe I won’t.”

CODER JOE

“We all know what happens to a boss when their health bar becomes empty,” said Zydan. “Guess what will happen to you?”

“Please make it stop,” said Coder Joe. “Please Zydan.”

“Oh, it will stop. Eventually.”

CODER JOE

“Burnout is common for game developers,” said Zydan. “You’ve been here for a while. It might be time for some fresh faces.”

CODER JOE

“I’ve designed Zero Space to be challenging,” said Zydan. “A guild just managed to grab the Dragon Shield on their first try. Does that sound challenging to you?”

Zydan leaned in, whispering into Coder Joe’s ear.

“Zero Space isn’t just a game, Coder Joe,” said Zydan. “It’s a competition. The most important competition there is. I don’t need to compete if I have the power to make myself the winner.”

CODER JOE

“There is something extraordinary inside Zero Space,” said Zydan. “Something that could change the world. It’s the power of a God, Coder Joe.”

“What the hell are you going on about?” asked Coder Joe. “You’ve lost your mind Zydan!”

“I admit, it does seem far-fetched,” said Zydan. “But then again, there is a health bar hovering above your head.”

CODER JOE

“Imagine me, a designer of Zero Space,” said Zydan. “Given the power of creation in the real world!”

“You don’t have the power to create, you lunatic,” said Coder Joe. “I do. You just have the power to manipulate.”

CODER JOE

“You know why you keep me around?” asked Coder Joe. “Because you can’t do what I do. Designers make the blueprints, but programmers provide the architecture.”

CODER JOE

“Look, I’m the most senior programmer on the team,” said Coder Joe. “It would take five people to replace me.”

CODER JOE

“If you want to be some sort of God in your demented world, fine,” said Coder Joe. “Just let me build it!”

With a wave of Zydan’s hand, the health bar vanished. Coder Joe released a huge sigh of relief.

“A valid point,” said Zydan. “As you were.”

Zydan strolled away whistling. Coder Joe cursed under his breath.

“Crazy fucking bastard,” Coder Joe growled.

Coder Joe switched tabs, to a chat window called [email protected].

CODE_BRO_JOE: you won't believe what that crazy bastard just did

CEE_CEE_PLUS_PLUS: oh boy time for another @Code_Bro_Joe vent/rant

BONE_ZONE_69: did he poop on your desk

MOONMASK_233: did he tried to kil u?

CODE_BRO_JOE: @Moonmask_233 you nailed it

Coder Joe groaned, massaging his forehead.

CODE_BRO_JOE: this job will be the death of me

PLENTY_OF_PHISH: Hi there. Long-time lurker here. Is there anyone you can tell above him? HR?? Death threats are really serious.

BONE_ZONE_69: poop on his desk

MOONMASK_233: @Bone_Zone_69 enough with the poop plz

ENCRYPT_KEEPER (ADMIN): @Bone_Zone_69 You've been warned before. Last warning.

Coder Joe shook in his chair, taking deep steady breaths.

CODE_BRO_JOE: @Plenty_Of_Phish Appriecte it, not many people above him to tell. I'm hanging in there. Someones gotta keep that lunatic in line.

BONE_ZONE_69: poop

--- User Bone_Zone_69 has been issued a three-day ban ---

MOONMASK_233: @Code_Bro_Joe pls don't die, your one of our best

BANDER: @Code_Bro_Joe keep us updated

Down in Unit 27085, Bander sat at her computer. She was only slightly taller than her character in-game, and went by the same name. There wasn’t much point in going by Julie - aside from her roommates, all her interactions were online.

Long blond bangs extended down to her waist, like a flowing robe. Her hair was completely out of control, but her roommates weren’t ones to judge: Samuel had a beard that still contained crumbs of yesterday’s pizza. And Amber’s fingernails were long and gnarled; it was amazing she could still type with them.

Bander sat at a cramped desk between Samuel and Amber, adjusting a pair of oversized glasses.

BANDER: @Code_Bro_Joe let us know if you need anything. hackzors bros 4 life

CODE_BRO_JOE: @Bander Appreciate it

Amber’s techno shook the room - she had turned it back up yet again. Bander chucked an anthropomorphic bird figurine into Amber’s computer screen, causing her to release a feral hiss.

“Watch the screen Bander!” Amber yelled.

“Then watch the volume, idiot,” Bander growled. “You’re giving me a migraine.”

Amber cranked the volume down, revealing the sound of constant knocking. Samuel leapt to his feet, plowing over his chair.

“Oh shit,” said Samuel. “That’s food.”

Samuel dashed for the door.

“Hear that Amber?” snarled Bander. “Your stupid music almost made us miss food.”

Amber repeated Bander’s words with twice the snark. A thick soupy stench filled their tiny unit.

“Stop ordering that soup, idiot,” said Bander. “It stinks up everything.”

Samuel looked into Bander’s eyes, then lifted his leg, releasing a small wet fart.

“Ugh, fuck you both,” said Bander.

Bander fanned her face as she turned back to her computer. Most healers didn’t have roommates. And most were on higher floors too. But Bander’s choice of floors was deliberate - higher floors came with higher surveillance.

A new chat window opened in front of her:

SHAE: bander

SHAE: i need your help

BANDER: so what else is new

Bander took a loud swig of soda.

SHAE: i found the name of the silver suits

SHAE: their called the Infities

SHAE: *Infinities

SHAE: i can't find anything on the forums

BANDER: no shit

BANDER: stop searching for things like that on the forums, the Havens tracking you u know

SHAE: oh shit

BANDER: don't worry, the haven doesn't care about your porn

BANDER: give me some time

BANDER: chief's looking for you

SHAE: ok

Bander took another soda swig, then flexed her fingers. It was time to do her hacker-thing. Nothing on the internet was buried too deep for her. Her fingers raced across her keyboard, crafting intricate combinations of brackets, numbers and letters.

“Hey Bander,” said Samuel. “Your rig is smoking.”

Gray smoke from Bander’s PC overpowered the stench of soup.

“Shit,” said Bander. “Shit shit shit!”

Bander ripped out the plug, blowing into the back of her computer tower with heavy huffs.

“Trying to go somewhere you shouldn’t again?” asked Samuel.

“Mind your own business, idiot,” said Bander.

“Your business is more interesting,” said Samuel, slurping soup.

Bander removed a sizzling component, juggling it between two hands.

“You need better parts,” said Samuel.

“No shit,” said Bander. “Maybe I’ll steal yours.”

“Don’t you dare,” said Samuel. “I just put a ton of rep into upgrading this baby.”

Bander chucked the destroyed component into the garbage. Her dirty fingernails crept into subtle cracks below her desk, dislodging a hidden wall panel.

“Your hacker shit is going to attract enforcers,” said Samuel.

“Enforcers don’t care, dumb-ass,” said Bander. “Not unless you mess with the Haven. Or if you’re too easy to catch.”

Bander sorted through the hidden panel’s contents. There was enough space in here to fit a whole person. Or just a ton of illegal computer parts.

“Maybe you’ll get a game master after you,” said Samuel.

“Game masters only care if you alter the root of the game, moron,” said Bander. “And don’t talk about game masters.”

“Why, are you afraid the Game Masters are going to hear us?” asked Samuel. “Game masters, game masters, game masters!”

Bander paled. She didn’t respond; it was best just to let Samuel have this one. There was one golden rule every hacker shared - you don’t mess with game masters.

[ZERO SPACE]

Shae stood in his guild lobby. It didn’t matter where Shae was before this - after eight hours of inactivity, all players returned to their designated spawn point.

Dalli approached Shae, looking more somber than usual.

“Shae,” said Dalli. “Chief wants to see you.”

Shae said nothing.

“Also,” said Dalli. “I, uh, have something too.”

Dalli fidgeted with his spear.

“Chief hasn’t been herself lately,” said Dalli. “I need a big favor.”

Shae stared into Dalli.

“I’m just asking you to hear me out,” said Dalli.

Shae remained motionless.

“Shae?” asked Dalli.

Dalli lifted Shae’s sunglasses - two AFK eyes stared back at him. With a loud groan, Dalli lifted Shae over his shoulders, trekking towards Chief’s room. The least he could do was save Chief some time.

***

Shae woke up in front of Chief’s massive beetle face. Startled, Shae leapt back into Lanzer who stood directly behind him.

“Hey hey hey,” said Lanzer. “Watch it! Geez.”

Dalli stood cross-armed, leaning against Chief’s throne.

“Shae, you’ve been gone,” said Chief. “For several days, I mean. You’re our Raid Captain, and you need to be here.”

“Sorry,” said Shae. “I was busy.”

“The guild is priority,” said Chief. “A Raid Captain’s priority, I mean. We’re ahead because of your efforts, but other guilds are catching up.”

Squawking birds overwhelmed their conversation. Chief pressed her throne button, silencing their input.

“The Raid Captain’s next duty is the dragon,” said Chief. “Defeating it, I mean. Shae, with your abilities and Lanzer’s knowledge, we should have the advantage.”

“Uh uh uh,” said Lanzer. “About that --”

“We’ve learned the dragon requires three,” said Chief. “Three items to kill it, I mean. Lanzer, tell us where they are.”

“Um um um,” said Lanzer. “I’ve kinda got some bad news.”

Chief’s wings fluttered hard.

“So so so, the Dragon Sword is somewhere in Sunlight Forest,” said Lanzer. “But I don’t know where the Dragon Shield is. And I heard the Dragon’s Song got cut from the game. Uh, it might be kinda impossible to kill the dragon now.”

Chief’s wings fluttered further.

“Then you must know another way,” said Chief. “You’re one of them. A developer, I mean.”

“Ex developer,” Lanzer corrected. “And my area was the Goblin content. I don’t actually know much about the dragon. Sorry sorry sorry!”

“I know where the Dragon Sword is,” said Shae.

All eyes turned towards Shae.

“It appears at night in one of four places,” said Shae.

Shae projected his map from his palm interface, displaying the locations he stole from Parper.

“That’s what I’ve been working on the last few days,” Shae lied.

Lanzer’s massive jaw dropped.

“Wow wow wow,” said Lanzer. “You’re a genius, Shae!”

Chief’s wings fluttered, then settled.

“That’s surprising,” said Chief. “That you found that out, I mean. Not that I didn’t think you could, even though it’s unlike you, erm, that is, I believed in you, of course. Well done Shae.”

Dalli gave Shae a suspicious look.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” said Lanzer. “We’ll figure out the dragon. We’ve got Shae on our side! He’s a premium genius. Who could possibly compete with that?”

***

A musicoid sat upon a throne at the peak of a glowing red pyramid. Rolling waterfalls bounced down each pyramid step, emitting a misty crimson haze.

The musicoid and his clothing were pitch black. His two red glowing eyes were the brightest part of his body, the same bloody hue as the pyramid he perched upon. A hooked blade was strapped to his waist - it looked less like a weapon, and more like a tool of torture.

A tall gray demonoid kneeled before the musicoid, hunched over on all fours. The hooked blade of a massive scythe rested on his shoulders above an elegant red and brown suit. His archaic demonoid body prohibited him from emoting.

The musicoid cuffed a novel in both hands, resting his feet on the demonoid’s back.

“Master Valdi,” said the demonoid. “I’m tired of being a footrest.”

Master Valdi removed his feet from the demonoid’s spine.

“I understand Janzo, but you need to make yourself useful somehow,” said Master Valdi. “Perhaps you could cook me a nice meal. Or scratch my back?’

“Uh huh,” said Janzo. “But then I want to go out and do something. I’m bored.”

Master Valdi stroked Janzo’s head.

“We’ve been over this Janzo,” said Master Valdi. “You’re my strongest. I can’t risk exposing you to the world.”

“If I’m your strongest, use me,” said Janzo.

“Ah, I would, but unfortunately, replays exist,” said Master Valdi. “If people know what you can do, we’ll lose the advantage. You understand of course?”

“Uh huh,” said Janzo.

“Very good,” said Master Valdi. “Back down you go.”

Master Valdi’s feet plopped back on Janzo’s shoulders, lowering the demonoid back to a kneel.

A door slammed open below. Syadd entered the room with two of her Deadly Skulls companions: Bowman and Parper.

“Well, if it isn’t my Raid Captain,” said Master Valdi. “Punctual as always.”

Syadd’s armor was full of nicks and dents. Cuts and scrapes littered her exposed flesh. There wasn’t much left of her flail - just an iron ball, attached to a few inches of broken chain.

Bowman’s wings were torn to strips; flight was out of the question. His bow was snapped in half. An empty quiver dangled from his shoulders.

Parper housed a rare puppoid frown. His ripped poncho revealed even more than usual. And his curved dagger was curved too far.

Master Valdi squinted at them.

“Just the three of you?” asked Master Valdi. “That was an eight-man mission. Where are the others?”

“They’re dead, Master Valdi,” said Syadd.

“We’re lucky to be alive,” said Bowman.

“That was, uh --” said Parper, still woozy. “Yes, what they said.”

Master Valdi dug his heels into Janzo’s back.

“I see,” said Master Valdi. “At least tell me you were successful.”

Syadd nodded. “We have it.”

“Very good,” said Master Valdi. “Bring it here.”

All three Deadly Skulls observed the long red pyramid staircase before them. No one volunteered to go first.

“Don’t make your Guild Leader wait,” said Master Valdi. “Come up. All of you.”

The trio exchanged looks, then began their ascent up the stairs. Parper made it six steps.

“I appreciate the exercise Master Valdi,” said Parper. “But I might wait right here, if that’s okay.”

“Bah,” said Master Valdi. “Weakling.”

Bowman tapped out halfway.

“Even you Bowman,” said Master Valdi. “I expected more.”

Bowman shrugged. He slouched across several stairs, rinsing his bloody pteranoid fur with pyramid water.

Syadd trudged to the pyramid’s peak, collapsing by Master Valdi’s throne.

“Very good Syadd,” said Master Valdi. “You may present it now.”

Syadd’s trembling arms bestowed a golden shield with the image of a dragon on it.

Master Valdi kicked his demonoid footrest to the side, taking hold of the shield. Its shimmering surface lit up Master Valdi’s grin.

“After all this time,” said Master Valdi. “The Dragon Shield is finally ours!”