[ZERO SPACE]

Smith’s four bruotoid hands massaged Shae’s shoulders.

“There there, my premium friend,” said Smith. “Sounds like you’ve had a very rough day!”

Shae came to Smith looking for a new ability, but he ended up finding a confidant. As it turns out, NPCs were great listeners. Smith’s creepy backroom was now Shae’s safe-space.

“Every day’s a rough day,” said Shae.

“At least you can have very rough days,” Smith said. “For NPCs, every day is the same day.”

Shae reflected on his rat-filled future. “We might have that in common soon.

Smith shrugged, opening his NPC palm interface:

“Anyway,” said Smith. “I know what will make you feel better:”

Shae Abilities – Path of Xieter ABILITY NAME ABILITY DESCRIPTION CURRENT LEVEL Piercing Shot A shot that can penetrate surfaces and objects. 1 Ricochet Shot A shot that can bounce off surfaces and objects. 1 Poison Shot A shot that does damage over time. 0 Pause Shot Take your time and aim with this shot. 0 ??? ??? ---

Another choice: Poison Shot or Pause Shot.

Poison Shot had utility, but Pause Shot seemed useless. Shae’s pistols weren’t about precision; they were about firing fast.

It was decided. Shae exchanged the village chief’s daughter’s ribbon for --

-- Poison Shot, and an eighth SP. A surge of energy flowed through Shae’s body, providing a dopamine-fueled euphoria. The feeling was addictive; Shae wanted more.

“Anyway, your very best bet might be apologizing,” said Smith. “Probably to your guild leader. Maybe to this Size-Matters guy. And to all those other guilds you ticked off too!”

Apologizing was outside of Shae’s wheelhouse. He had built quite a collection of enemies over the years, and didn’t see any reason to throw away all that hard work.

“Maybe if they apologize to me first,” Shae said.

“Well, I’m just an NPC,” said Smith. “But if there’s one thing I very much know about players, it’s --”

[THE HAVEN]

Anton ripped off Jay’s Zero Space helmet.

“Let’s go Jay,” said Anton. “Training time.”

Jay froze for a moment. Then his mouth went on auto-pilot, shouting every profane word in his vocabulary. He even made up a few. It wasn’t just the shock of being yanked out of Zero Space; it was the stress of everything. Every failed mission, every humiliating defeat, and every bugged quest - it all came out on Anton.

Jay’s rant had no flow, no point, and no sense. By the end of it, he was in tears. His emotions were drained – all of his pent up rage had been transferred to Anton.

“You done?” Anton finally asked.

Jay nodded. This was their agreed-upon sparring time; he was in the wrong.

“Gloves on,” said Anton, shoving them into Jay’s face.

Anton stormed out. This was bad - an angry Anton meant a painful sparring session.

Shae reflected on Smith’s advice; Anton deserved an apology. But words wouldn’t be enough for Anton. Jay would have to back up those words with effort.

Jay burst through his bedroom door, performing a leaping punch towards Anton.

The punch caught Anton off-guard. Anton evaded the punch, and then several more. This was unusual; Jay never displayed this much energy, especially right out of the gate.

“Good attempt,” said Anton. “But your punches still need work. And don’t jump when you punch. Your jank-ass game moves won’t work out here!”

Jay’s next punch came from the ground, but it lacked speed and strength.

“Thumb out of the knuckles Jay,” said Anton. “You wanna break your thumb?”

Jay tried a sweeping kick. Anton sidestepped Jay’s shin - it punted a cola-can into the wall.

“A little better,” said Anton. “Your movement isn’t bad. That kind of attack leaves you open though.”

Jay attempted several more kicks, some low, and some high. Anton deflected them with well-placed palms. It was like Jay had infinite energy. Even before falling ill, Jay had never lasted this long. Something was different now.

Jay felt capable of anything.

Jay did a backflip --

-- Almost. His head smacked against the couch, driving him face-first into an empty pizza box. Anton hurried to his side.

“Jay, you okay?” asked Anton.

Jay was more than okay. A little dizzy maybe. And his neck hurt. But he was ready for round two --

Anton subdued him with a knee, smacking his head with a shoe.

“No, bad Jay, bad!” said Anton. “Stay down. You might have a concussion or something.”

Anton’s shoe did more damage than the floor.

“We’re done for the day,” said Anton, rising to his feet.

Jay complied, collapsing on his couch. His heart was racing; all he wanted was to get back up and fight.

“Jay, what happened to you?” Anton asked. “First this healing, and now… I’ve never seen you like this!”

“I had a rough day,” said Jay. “I needed to let off some steam.”

“You wanna talk about it?” asked Anton.

Jay said nothing. It was easy to pour his heart out to some random NPC. But Anton? That just felt weird.

“You need to work on your punches,” said Anton. “Your kicks however, they’re really --”

Jay zoned out, his mind preoccupied by Smith’s words. It was time to try out this whole apologizing thing.

“I’m sorry,” Jay interrupted.

Anton paused mid-sentence.

“Wait, what?” asked Anton.

“I’m sorry,” Jay repeated. “For being such a dick.”

That was a new one. In all of Anton’s years, he had never witnessed Jay‘s remorse.

“It’s okay bro,” said Anton.

Anton’s anger subsided – he dug Jay’s new vulnerable side.

Jay continued. “I’m sorry I missed dinner. And I’m sorry for --”

Jay paused.

“Go on,” said Anton with a grin. He was milking this.

“I’ll, try to be better,” said Jay.

“Well, you’re definitely better,” said Anton. “That green juice really did a number on you, didn’t it?”

Jay avoided that question.

Anton continued. “If you wanna do right by me, take some time off from that game. It’s clearly stressing you out.”

Jay nodded.

“How about this?” asked Anton. “In a few hours, me and you chill and read some comics. What do you say? Get some good old fashioned Captain Lair in our lives?”

Jay nodded again. A break wouldn’t hurt.

“I grew up with Captain Lair, you know,” said Anton. “I didn’t touch Zero Space, and I’m a better man for it. Captain Lair is like, my comic-dad, and I want you to meet him.”

“Sounds good,” Jay finally agreed.

“Great, we’ll reconvene out here,” said Anton.

“In one condition,” said Jay.

This was what Anton was waiting for - there was always a catch with Jay.

“Please don’t pull me out of the game again,” said Jay. “I could be doing something really important.”

“More important than getting your ass beat by me?” asked Anton.

Jay was afraid to answer.

“Fiiiine, it’s a deal,” said Anton. “Just don’t be late to sparring next time. And don’t be late to comics either!”

Anton ruffled Jay’s greasy black hair.

“Cath you soon, bro. And good job today!”

A compliment from Anton - that was a rarity. It actually felt pretty good, like a real-life MVP status.

Jay made a pact with himself: he would do better by Anton. That meant making time for sparring, eating dinner before it got cold, and reading boring comics.

Comic-time was a few hours away - just long enough to make things right with Chief. Maybe even with SizeMatters1420 too?

No, Jay smacked the latter thought out of his head. “Baby-steps,” he thought.

[ZERO SPACE]

Shae teleported to the Feather Bird HQ. Chief’s royal guard Dalli, was waiting for him by the spawn point.

“You’re late,” said Dalli.

* * *

The VIP elevator ride was long and uneventful. Dalli faced away from Shae, avoiding unnecessary eye-contact or small-talk. Shae hated small-talk too, but with Dalli, it was just too tempting. Antagonizing Dalli was both simple and satisfying.

“Great weather we’re having,” said Shae.

“The weather is the same every day,” said Dalli.

“There really are a lot of clouds up there today,” said Shae.

“There’s always a lot of clouds,” said Dalli.

“The sun sure is shining --”

“Are you trying to annoy me?”

“I don’t have to try.”

Dalli let out a low snarl, a noise only a leggoid could make. Shae and Dalli had never seen eye-to-eye, and it wasn’t just because Dalli was taller.

Smith’s words once again invaded Shae’s mind. If Shae wanted to practice apologizing, Dalli was a good place to start.

“Hey, Dalli,” said Shae.

“What?” Dalli responded.

“...The breeze sure is windy today,” said Shae.

Nope, too tempting.

Dalli let out another low snarl.

“I don’t know how your teammates tolerate you,” said Dalli. “If I had to travel with you, I’d throw myself from a cliff.”

“We should team up then,” said Shae.

“If I fall off a cliff, I’m dragging you with me,” said Dalli. “I know how much you’d love that.”

The VIP elevator reached the guild rooftop, seconds before a fight broke out. Dalli hurried to Chief’s side, eager to get some distance from Shae.

SizeMatters1420 was already up here, a sneer across his sharp snout. Chroma and Umi stood next to him.

“Hi Shae,” said Chroma, the undisputed master of small-talk. “How was your mission?”

“It was fine,” said Shae.

“Nice!” said Chroma. “So, did you fight a lot of goblins?”

“Yup,” said Shae.

“Nice!” said Chroma. “Did Goblin Chef give you any trouble?”

“Yup,” said Shae. This was clearly karma for what he’d just done to Dalli.

“Nice!” said Chroma. “Did the broth smell as good as it usually does --”

“Umi,” interrupted Shae, desperate to change the subject. “Did you watch all the birds?”

“We did!” Umi shouted. “The bird watchers went straight to their destination! And no extra goblin ambushes! Ledgess was watching over us!”

As expected, SizeMatters1420 and crew had secured the final goblin point. Shae was doomed.

“Hope you like rats, rat,” SizeMatters1420 said to Shae.

“Shae!” yelled Asira from up ahead.

Asira, Bander and DangerFace869 were up here too. They had been waiting on Shae for almost an hour - Shae’s pit-stop with Smith held everything up.

The clown-faced Lanzer sat at the roof’s edge, his fishy-tail beating against passing clouds. He was silent and slumped, as if awaiting execution.

Chief finally rose from her perch, demanding silence with a flutter of her beetle wings.

“Shae,” said Chief. “Arriving In your traditional fashion. Fashionably late, I mean. Shall we get started?”

Dalli stood by Chief’s side, using his long legs to raise himself just below her height.

“Let’s review,” said Chief. “The mission results, I mean.”

Chief turned towards SizeMatters1420.

“Matt, your team completed your mission, earning it for us,” said Chief. “The final goblin point, I mean.”

SizeMatters1420 flexed his scales in triumph.

“Even without a fourth team member, you finished in record time,” Chief continued. “You succeeded as the last one left. The last one left alive, I mean. Umi and Chroma perished.”

Umi held his hand towards Chroma for high five. Chroma complied, out of politeness.

Chief rotated towards Shae.

“Shae, your team failed to complete your mission,” said Chief. “Two of your members fell. And on top of that, you let a player into our guild. A banned player, I mean.”

Lanzer’s teeth grinded. This looked grim.

Chief turned to address both groups.

“With that in mind,” said Chief. “I think it’s pretty clear. Who will be fighting the Goblin King, I mean.”

Shae’s body went numb. The outcome was obvious; Chief really knew how to drag things out.

Chief turned towards SizeMatters1420. The triangloid was already forming his victory speech.

“Shae,” said Chief. “Shae will be fighting the Goblin King, I mean.”

Dalli smirked. He loved it when Chief delivered news in dramatic --

-- Wait, Shae? Dalli’s long jaw hung wide open.

“You succeeded Matt,” said Chief. “In getting the last goblin point, I mean. But your methods were problematic. You entered the mission without a fourth, and you got both of your allies killed. The Goblin King requires a team. A team effort, I mean.”

SizeMatters1420 let out a raspy croak. No puns could express his pain. This couldn’t be happening.

“Shae,” Chief continued. “You can hardly be blamed for what happened. Not finishing your mission, I mean. You used your team, and that new ability of yours, to its full potential. I am confident in your ability. Your ability to succeed, I mean.”

No, SizeMatters1420 was the best fighter in the guild; he wouldn’t stand for this!

“What about the pirahnoid?” asked SizeMatters1420. “Shae brought a banned player into the guild.”

“That doesn’t matter,” said Chief. “The banned player, I mean. Banned players can always be banned again.”

Lanzer’s eyes went wide with terror. Another ban or kick would send him right back into that cage.

“Now Shae,” said Chief. “I leave it to you. Picking your team, I mean.”

Shae glanced at Asira, Bander and DangerFace869. His team was already here. They stood by his side with pride.

“I’m ready, captain,” Asira said with a smile.

“He’s not captain yet, dummy,” said Bander. “But I’m ready too.”

“Same,” said DangerFace869. “Mentor.”

“I’m not your --”

Shae didn’t bother correcting him this time. DangerFace869 still had a lot to learn, but he showed great potential. This mission would be a real trial-by-fire.

“Just one more thing,” said Chief. “Dalli will be coming with you.”

Shae’s party fell silent.

“Wait, WHAT??” yelled Dalli.

“Dalli is a Level 2 ability user,” said Chief. “He’ll be invaluable. Against the Goblin King, I mean.”

Shae and Dalli exchanged a stare of mutual discomfort. The rest of Shae’s crew grew tense; the maximum team size was four. If Dalli was in, that meant someone was out.

Shae evaluated his colleagues; the thought of even ditching one of them was painful - he’d made a promise to them all. Still, he couldn’t challenge Chief on this. If he had to choose, Bander’s healing was a shoe-in, and Asira was his closest friend. That left --

“Danger Face Eight Six, or whatever,” said Shae. “You’re out.”

The demonoid looked crushed. Actually, no one could tell – Demonoids couldn’t convey emotion.

With this final cut, Shae’s team was solidified. This mission would be unlike anything the four of them had previously faced. It would be --

“Take me too!” cried Lanzer. “Please please please.”

Lanzer was already on thin ice with this guild; this was his one and only shot.

“No one knows the Goblin King like I do,” Lanzer continued. “Most guilds haven’t beat him. You know why? Because he’s way harder than Goblin Chef. You won’t beat him without me. Especially if it’s your first time fighting him!”

Asira was the first to speak. “Shae, he’s a banned player. You can’t trust --”

“You trusted me with Goblin Chef!” interrupted Lanzer. “I came through for you! I know this game Shae, and you know why!”

Shae considered Lanzer’s argument. Without the pirahnoid’s help, the Goblin Chef fight would have gone much differently.

“Hey idiot,” said Bander. “You can’t possibly be thinking of --”

“I know every goblin’s position, every Goblin King attack, and where to find a hidden material,” said Lanzer. “You like materials, right? I can hold my own in combat too. I’m a good fighter!”

Lanzer observed Shae’s expression - he was winning him over.

“You want to know why I got banned?” asked Lanzer. “I got banned because I knew too much. I used my dev knowledge to give myself an advantage in-game. Let me know too much for you!”

Another difficult decision for Shae: it wasn’t whether or not to let Lanzer join – it was who Lanzer would replace.

Shae was stuck with Dalli, and they needed a healer. That could only mean --

“Asira,” said Shae, bracing himself.

Asira gaped towards Shae.

“No, you can’t be serious,” Asira said.

“I’m sorry,” said Shae.

“You’re, sorry?” said Asira.

“Yeah,” Shae repeated, falling back on Smith’s advice. “Really sorry.”

Tears welled up in the pteranoid’s eyes.

“Shae, no, I’m the one that’s sorry,” Asira said. “Sorry for helping you beat Goblin Chef. Sorry for inviting you to raids when no one else would. Sorry for almost losing my job over your medicine. Sorry isn’t enough Shae!”

Shae’s heart sank.

“I wanted that Level 2 Material,” yelled Asira. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for it. My ability is almost useless at Level 1. You’d take that banned asshole over me? You don’t even know him! He could be lying! He might betray you. He could really mess things up for you!”

“Asira, I’m --”

“Screw you Shae,” yelled Asira. “Screw all of you!”

Asira went AFK, finishing her tantrum in private.

“Well, that’s a crying shame,” said SizeMatters1420. “Get it? Because she was --”

Umi slapped SizeMatter1421 on the back of the head.

“Ledgess would not approve of that pun, buddy,” said Umi.

Shae was distraught. Bander reached up to pat his shoulder, but settled for his leg.

“She’ll come around,” said Bander. “Or she’ll kill you. One of those two.”

DangerFace869 nudged Asira’s AFK body. “She’s really hurt.”

“Sometimes leaders have to make hard decisions,” said Shae.

DangerFace869 shrugged. “You’re the mentor.”

“I’m not your damn mentor!” Shae yelled. “I’m not your mentor now, and I never will be! Stop saying that!”

DangerFace869 was the latest victim of Shae’s misdirected rage. The demonoid didn’t take the abuse well. Maybe he deserved it; he messed up pretty bad last mission. He watched as Shae’s team boarded the VIP elevator without him. His future seemed bleak – no one had time to tutor a new player.

A large triangloid hand fell upon his shoulder. SizeMatters1420 grinned down at him.

“Well how about that?” said SizeMatters1420. “You’re looking for a mentor, and I’m looking for a fourth.”

DangerFace869 glanced at Umi and Chroma - despite SizeMatters1420’s transgressions, they remained by his side.

“This is just a temporary set-back,” said SizeMatters1420. “When I’m finished, all of Zero Space will remember my name!”

“Buddy, even I have trouble remembering your name!” shouted Umi. “

SizeMatter1421 ignored Umi, extending his hand towards the demonoid.

“What do you say demonoid?” SizeMatters1420 asked. “Join my team-onoid?”

“Fine,” said DangerFace869, shaking his hand. He had a new mentor now.