《Ode to Fallen Angels》Chapter 12: Of Trust
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Arianna walked. She kept walking as fast as she could and pulling Gabi's arm a little too hard, but she knew better than to stop. If she stopped, the nun would definitively turn right around and cuss the hell out of those children, or even worse, the crones that just sat back and watched as a bad situation just kept escalating. And between this, and the whole ordeal with Enrico, Ari was already close enough to just let the accursed chapel burn to the ground.
There was an image to maintain, she couldn’t be seen defending the so-called “Witch Child” or people would start to talk—and most of the other nuns already didn’t like her at all! The last thing she needed was to give them ammunition. So she walked, went right through the hallway without saying a single word. Gabrielle’s breath was panicked, trembling, trying very intensely to stop any sobs from escaping.
The poor child…
They walked through the entire hallway, ignoring the adorable marble dog collection and finally standing in the sacristy on the other side. And there, right before closing the door, Arianna stopped walking.
Gabrielle’s eyes opened wide like plates, staring at the taller woman who was now turning to face her. The girl’s mouth opened for an instant, trying to utter an apology, before Arianna raised both of her hands.
And with a violent motion she slapped them together.
The sound was more than enough to stun Gabi in place. She gasped, jumping and then looking around herself in fear. Arianna waited for a moment and paid close attention to the sounds from the hallway, just to make sure the eavesdroppers were satisfied. When the ruckus in the dining hall returned, the nun sighed and closed the door to the dressing room.
She winced for a moment, her palm still ached from that heavy slap.
“There we go… that should be enough for them all.” The sister sighed, kneeling to stand on Gabrielle’s level and look into her eyes. “Shh, shhh. Look at me, Gabi. Look at me… we’re alright. Okay? We’re safe.”
The little girl had a bit of trouble focusing, her eyes darting from side to side in a flurry of emotion before she could do as asked. Gabi stared intently at Arianna as she carefully caressed the girl’s shoulders and started breathing a bit more loudly. Deep in, and then deep out, blowing out like the wind in the storm outside.
Gabrielle slowly began to imitate her, letting the air go slowly, in and out, rhythmically.
“That’s it, there you go. You’re doing good…”
Those words elicit the briefest hint of a smile on Gabrielle’s parched lips, as she focused more deeply in her own breathing.
Arianna had never been good with children, or people in general, but she had picked some techniques to calm others down from Alejandra. She never really expected to put them to practice though, much less with the rarely upset Gabrielle! But today Ari was feeling rebellious, simply unable to stand by and watching anymore.
She was not going to simply abide by people’s suffering for a single extra second, Arianna would start taking action today!
She probably would stop doing so when cynicism and resignation make their triumphant return in a few days, after the sleep deprivation killed all this determination . But what mattered was the intention, right?
“There you go… better?”
The little girl closed her eyes and continued to breathe just in the way Arianna told her, air filling her lungs and then escaping her mouth in a slow whistle. The nun just stared and gave Gabi her time, incapable of seeing what was going on in that redhead’s mind—how did a person this broken see the world around her? Could Ari even begin to understand? Could Gabrielle even try to comprehend what was actually going on around her?
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Does she resent us for what we have done…?
“Better.” Gabi finally answered, opening her eyes once again. “You saved me.”
“I did no such thing.” Arianna shook her head, her face remaining grumpy as ever. “I am just doing my job, so don’t go around thinking weird thoughts. Alright?”
“Noted. No more thinking.”
“That is not what I meant.” The nun facepalmed, taking another deep breath. Patience, girl. Patience. You know how the Witch operates. “Show me your hands.”
Gabrielle’s eyes went down to said hands before looking right back at Arianna.
“No can’t do.”
Oh my Saints.
“What do you mean no can’t do?” Ari huffed. The nerve of the child always came up in the most unexpected moments. Give them a hand and they take your elbow. “Show them to me!”
“They’re filthy. You’ll get dirty.”
“Yes, they’re filthy, I want to help you with that!” Arianna tried her best not to raise her voice too much. “Just, show them to me. It’s an order. Now!”
The little girl obeyed instantly and without any more hesitation. Those hands were not really as badly injured as Ari would had expected, only some bleeding rashes from the rough, cheap table, and they were already getting better. Then again, Arianna had seen this girl recover from having needles all around her body every single month, so this didn’t really surprise her that much. But it was still unnerving to see.
Ari held Gabrielle’s hands in place, taking her handkerchief from her pocket and gently scrubbing the blood away. The little girl winced but didn’t make any sudden moves, staring down and once again falling deep in thought. This was a habit of hers, to just space out for a long while, taken by the fairies of her misshapen ideas… Gabi could spend long periods simply staring at nothing, to the point that it resulted quite unnerving to some. Arianna included.
What does she even think about…
Fortunately, the girl seemed to reach some sort of conclusion uncharacteristically quickly, raising her gaze back to the nun. There was a determination in those eyes that startled Arianna, the bright light of cognition that so often seemed to elude the little girl, now shining like an accusing ray descending from the heavens.
The nun gulped some saliva, just knowing that she was not going to like whatever was about to come out of Gabrielle’s mouth
“Sister Arianna, can you please tell me what a Genesis is?”
—
Gabrielle stared as the nun’s face went through several different expressions. She couldn’t really understand any of them, but the intensity of it all and the way the poor Sister shifted from emotion to emotion made one thing clear: Gabi was not supposed to ask that. A voice inside of the girl was already pushing her to take it all back and simply play it off as a joke, or something unimportant, anything to try and defuse the situation quickly—but no. She resisted it with all her power, and simply kept looking attentively.
There was no backing down now, she needed to understand it all if she hoped to make a difference in the calamity that approached.
Sister Arianna had to run out of facial expressions eventually.
Indeed, after what looked like intense deliberation, the nun took a deep breath and forced her face back into the usual look of tired resignation she usually donned, and glared down at the curious child. Gabi’s hands were anxiously squeezing each other, ignoring the distant paint of her wounds.
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“Where did you hear that?” Asked Ari, trying to deflect the topic somewhere more manageable.
“The Sisters were talking about it very loudly. Said Genesis would come, or something.” For Gabrielle there was absolutely no shame in ratting out the other nuns. She didn’t do it out of malice, but deep down she wouldn’t really mind if they got in trouble for it.
Arianna mumbled something that Gabi could not really make out, but sounded terribly vulgar by the way her lips spat those words. Afterwards, she addressed the little girl again.
“It is a very old word, older than all of us. It means beginnings.” Again, the nun deflected.
“So the beginning is coming? The beginning of what?”
There was silence. The Sister went deep in meditation, taking slow breaths before slowly putting both of her hands on Gabrielle’s shoulders. The air suddenly felt heavier and colder, sinking all around them among all those hanging coats and capes.
“Gabrielle. It is a dangerous word to say, especially if you know what it means.” Arianna’s eyes grew sharper, staring deep into the girl’s. “I can tell you about it, but are you sure…? You won't be able to tell a soul about this.”
For a moment, Gabrielle thinks of pointing out that she doesn’t really speak to other people anyways, but even the girl understands this is not the time for that sort of technicality. So she simply nodded.
—
Arianna sighed, bracing herself as she deeply considered her position. Disclosing information about the Genesis without explicit permission of a Chamber Priest was beyond forbidden, and honestly, there was no way she could explain this to him. But with all that just happened, her own doubts swirling around in her head, and the rising need for change, Ari was quickly coming to a very solid conclusion.
Fuck the Chamber Priest.
“Do you know what a Covenant is, Gabrielle?”
The little girl’s inexpressive eyes looked around for a moment, probably trying to find the answer in the confusing hallways of her own memory, before she simply shook her head no. Arianna expected that answer because, well, she had been there to see the sort of education Enrico gave these children: a purposely incomplete reading of the Prologues, shamelessly parodying the creed and building a narrative much more focused in devotion than Historical Accuracy.
The worst part was that it wasn’t completely out of line with what the Church of the Saints teached those days anyways.
“A Covenant is… hmmm… it is sort of a promise. An alliance? A friendship with others, and with the Divine.” Ari did her best to summarize it, but she couldn’t really put all the nuances the word implied. It was too complicated to teach to a kid, anyways. “A group of people who promise the same thing, and help each other to keep that promise forevermore.”
Gabrielle nodded twice, but added nothing. She was deeply focused, waiting for more— honestly, having that much attention was only making Arianna nervous.
This has to be the first time I see this one interested in anything, what in the blazes happened?
“The Genesis is a Covenant, one that swore on the Saints to keep people from hurting each other for silly reasons.” Again Ari was being reductive, but it was for the best. The less times she said the word Magic, the better. “The other nuns are worried they may get in trouble with them, because they are being mean.”
“Is Demiurge a Covenant too?”
Arianna had to cling a bit tighter to Gabrielle’s shoulders there, almost breaking into a coughing fit. Again with the words, how did she even remember that one!? Is it that this girl was conscious and aware during their experiments? They all assumed she was barely awake, reactive but stunned, with how little responses she gave to all stimuli.
This only made everything worse. It meant Gabi had felt everything during those nights, she had heard everything they said, and even worse… she may have begun to ask herself some questions.
If Genesis learned of this, the girl’s fate would be terribly uncertain, and let’s not even think of what that daft idiot will do too…!!
Telling her about Genesis was one thing, but revealing the meaning behind Enrico’s crazy ramblings was something different entirely. Any sort of reaction could ruin everything for them, and Arianna was not in a position to protect all the children herself.
“Don’t say that word. Ever.” The nun warned. “It is an ugly word, for an ugly person. An insult. Something only dumb people use to call themselves smart.” And before the red haired girl could say anything, Ari added. “If someone ever uses that word, just let them be in their ignorance, you hear me? Do not talk about this.”
Again silence. Arianna stared deeply into Gabrielle’s eyes for a very long time, just waiting for an answer, or at least trying to understand what was going on in the other side of that girl’s head.
If only she could say it all…
—
The Sister was lying.
Gabrielle had never been good at understanding the emotions of the others and yet, she knew this deep in her heart. Sister Arianna was lying to her teeth, and struggling quite a bit to do so, but why? It didn’t feel like a malicious thing, and it wouldn’t make sense for it to be malicious considering the woman had gone out of her way to save Gabi just a few seconds ago.
Or was that also part of the whole lie?
No. The girl shook that thought away almost immediately, as she just couldn’t even entertain the idea for a second. It had to be something else entirely. She begged for it to be something else entirely.
But what was it, then? Something the little girl couldn’t see, for sure. A shadow looming over them, something so big that Gabi was simply too small to even grasp. A secret, a calamity…
The one she felt in her dream…?
Taking a good look around to make sure there were no prying ears in the shadows, the redhead leaned a bit closer to the Sister and whispered.
“Are you afraid, too?”
The nun took a sharp breath, containing something that rattled deep within herself and then, with a deep sigh, confessed.
“Yes.”
The little girl squeezed her hands a bit tighter. For the first time in who knows how long, Gabi felt understood, she felt heard! As if the both of them were thinking of the very same thing but didn’t even need to say it outloud. They lacked the courage to do so. She had no reason to believe it but Gabrielle was convinced that Arianna had seen those visions too, the ones she had dreamed up in the forest.
Arianna was aware of the shadow and the trumpets, she knew of what was coming their way… and differently to Gabi, she was already doing something about it.
At least, that’s what Gabrielle wanted to believe.
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