Cas switched his wrist monitor on and off again without even checking it. His hands clenched and clicked absentmindedly, betraying his anxiety, but his eyes were fixed on the screen in front of us showing the others’ progress.

“There’s nothing to worry about, Cas. This is a simple search and rescue, we’ve done them a hundred times before, probably more actually!” I reassured him with a smile.

Gem, Cory and Peggy were on the planet below us looking for some shipment that had crashed onto the planet the week before. Probably weapons or something like that, that’s normally what most search and rescue missions were. Some pointless Council law prevented us from landing on the planet for too long so Cas and I were forced to wait just outside orbit for the rest of the crew to find whatever it was and call us in to pick them up. The tracking device must have gotten smashed like we suspected because it was taking longer than normal but that happened sometimes, it didn’t mean they were in trouble or anything. We’d scanned the planet enough times and I had Frida running constant bio-sweeps to make sure there was nothing alive down there so we knew they would be safe. We could relax for now. I was always a little nervous when some of my crew were on a planet without me but I had faith in them.

Cas smiled nervously, clenching his hands again and his eyes darted to the screen.

“It’s not that.”

I watched as Cas checked the screen once more before looking back at me. His throat bobbed a couple of times before he took a deep breath to steel himself.

“Frida, can you turn on autopilot and just keep us here for now?”

“Yes, Secondary Pilot Cassiopeia.” She chimed.

“Thank you.” His voice was tight with anxiety.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Cas knew that I didn’t normally like to turn on the autopilot when we were waiting to pick the crew up, there was no point because they could call us at any second and we’d need to react quickly if they did get into any trouble.

He stood and held his hand out for me to take. “Come with me?”

I glanced at the screens once more. The others were still moving steadily towards the area where the shipment had lost signal with nothing else on the scanner.

“Frida, let us know if anything shows up down there?” I asked as I stood, unsure what Cas had planned but his obvious anxiety was worrying me.

“Of course.”

I took his hand and let him lead me back into the main bay of the ship, watching him carefully. He stopped in the centre and turned back to me. The world suddenly felt very calm and quiet, it felt like nothing else mattered apart from him and me.

“Frida, have you got the simulation I programmed?” He asked without looking away from my eyes, his voice musical and gentle, his hand still holding mine.

“Yes, Cassiopeia.”

“Good. Activate now please and turn off gravity.”

The artificial gravity in our ship switched off and for a second I felt my feet lifting away from the floor before the mags in my boots activated and pulled me back down. I squeezed Cas’ hand instinctively, trying to hold him down. The walls of the ship disappeared leaving us suspended in space. My eyes darted around in wonder, trying to take everything in, the planet below us and the matter floating gently around us.

“What is this?” I asked breathlessly, unable to tear my eyes away from the sky.

“I programmed it. Frida’s cameras are recording outside of the ship and projecting it in here.”

My eyes widen and continued roving around, not wanting to miss anything. They found Cas who was staring at my face, a smile dancing on his lips.

“You said you always wanted to fly in space without a ship or a suit. I figured this was the closest we could get.” He whispered huskily, his arms reaching out and gently wrapping around my waist.

My heart swelled in my chest and my arms came up to circle his neck instinctively. I stared at the planet below us, not wanting to look at him again because I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from kissing him.

“This is magical,” I whispered. “When did you do this?”

He blushed slightly in the darkness.

“A while back. We’re just never alone in here for long enough.”

I blushed as well and I bit my lip to stop myself from saying what I wanted to.

“Disconnect your boots?” He requested gently.

I looked at him, trying to gauge what he was going to do before doing as he asked with a flick of my wrist. His arms wrapped around me tighter, holding me to him as he pushed away from the floor gently with his toes. We were doing it. We were floating space, surrounded by the stars. I pulled him even closer, my head resting against his shoulder, unable and unwilling to talk.

At that moment, I realised something. If we were to date, like for real, we could do this all the time. We could just be happy together and not have to hide it from people. We could actually be together.

My mind kept floating back to what Taury had said before, about relationships being a bad idea. We couldn’t be together, not unless we dated forever and never broke up. I loved Cas so much, even then, but I didn’t trust myself to be able to do that and I wasn’t willing to risk our crew. Looking back, we should have just done it. We should have started dating the moment we met. That would have made this easier. Or maybe it just means Harvey would have killed me first.

We stayed there, floating in space and clinging to each other for what felt simultaneously like hours and only a few brief seconds. We didn’t talk, it wasn’t needed. All we needed to do was hold each other.

We found the shipment, reckons it’s weapons again. Ready for you to pick us up. Sending Frida our coordinates now. Gem told us.

Frida beeped quietly as she received the message and I looked up at Cas not wanting this to end. He met my eyes and smiled, almost sadly. Neither of us were ready to return to reality but we knew we had to. We couldn’t stay together.

“Frida, engage gravity and end simulation.” He said, not removing his arms from around me.

We gently drifted back to the ground again and our feet touched the hard metal floor as the walls of the ship faded back into Frida’s normal brushed metal walls.

I looked up at Cas, my hands gripping the back of his suit, not wanting to let go. He stared back, his eyes full of an emotion I didn’t want to name. Longing clawed it’s way up from my stomach, burning in my chest and fighting to make me tell him. I needed to tell him but I couldn’t. I was too scared of what it might mean.

Before I could think of the reasons not to, I reached up and pressed my lips against his cheek, too close to his lips. I stepped away without looking at him, not allowing myself to savour the moment any more otherwise I knew I’d kiss him for real and walked back to the cockpit. I dropped into my seat and checked the scanner quickly.

Got your location and coming to get you. Any problems down there? I asked, forcing myself to sound normal and focus on the job.

Nothing down here but bad smells and weapons. Gem replied quickly. Why did the shipment have to land so close to a sulphur deposit? I swear I almost gagged.

You did gag. Peggy added.

I smiled and looked back at Cas who still hadn’t sat down, his hand raised to his cheek and a goofy smile on his face. Blood rushed into my cheeks as his eyes met mine and I looked away quickly.

“Ready?” I asked, feeling breathless.

He sat down next to me, still grinning.

“I’m ready.”