We were finally returning to the base.

It felt like so long since we’d been there. I guess it had been really. The longest we had been away since we first came. The Guardians had rushed us into the back of a van as soon as we were done in the medBay getting the tracking devices put into our arms so we could slip out before the news broke properly.

They were part of our agreement with the Council. We could return to the base and continue our education and training with the Space Corps but we’d be tracked until we had either graduated or started working professionally so either way we thought we had two years because we weren’t allowed to leave the base so we couldn’t go on missions and therefore we couldn’t start working professionally.

At least for this journey we weren’t handcuffed so we could sit more comfortably on the floor of the van. It still wasn’t that comfortable, there were no seats or anything other than hard metal so we had to prop ourselves up against the walls and deal with being thrown about every time they went around a corner.

Every movement wracked my body with stabbing pains. We’d been able to stay mostly on top of the pain whilst the trial was on because some of the Guardians had started sneaking painkillers to us but we hadn’t had any the entire time we were waiting to be taken to the medBay or since then so they’d worn off. I’d gotten far too used to not being in constant pain again and so it made everything feel much, much worse. Even breathing was a challenge. I was torn between trying to breathe enough to not get dizzy and not take too deep breaths because that make shards of pain explode in my lungs.

The windows of the van were heavily tinted, like when we were taken to the Council prison, so we couldn’t see anything but I think it was more to stop the protesters from seeing us. We heard them again, as we were driven out of the Council building. I guess our verdict must have been leaked to them because it sounded like they were celebrating. They were chanting too. The sound of thousands of voicing shouting our crew number had made us smile despite everything else that had happened. I looked around at the rest of my crew as we slipped past the crowd, exhausted from the trial and huddled together on the floor. We were finally going home. I honestly thought we were safe. How dumb I was then. I truly thought that was the end.

In his sleep, Cas’ hand gripped mine tighter as a flicker of pain burned across his face. I stared at him, unable to believe we were all together again and unable to look away. I could see our time in jail written on his skin. His face was thin, his skin stretched tautly over his cheekbones. Dark bruised gathered under his eyes, across his cheeks and slight swelling marred his jaw. The crease in between his eyebrows that was normally only visible when he was anxious was now there all the time. He moved carefully, as if his bones were made of glass and might shatter at the slightest movement. I knew how he felt. Most of my ribs felt like they were broken, each turn we took sent shooting pains through me, leaving me gasping for breath.

At least when we got back to the base, we’d be able to get everything treated. I thought. Andy wouldn’t let us continue to be in pain like this, right?

A small whimper from Peggy caught my attention. She was huddled away from us in the corner of the van, asleep, tears dripping down her face. I shuffled away from Cas slightly, trying not to move too much or to wake him, ignoring my bones screaming in protest and reached out to her. I put my hand on hers and squeezed slightly, trying to wake her without waking the others. She didn’t wake. I shook her shoulder gently, whispering her name and she tensed, her eyes flying open, her pupils barely a pinprick. She took a quiet, shuddering breath.

“Just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare.” She whispered, almost like she was trying to reassure herself.

“I know. Are you okay?”

She looked at Gem, listening to her gentle snores before nodding at me. Her still damp eyes traced the faces of our crew before settling on mine.

“Are you not sleeping?” She asked, not answering my question and leaning towards me with a wince.

I shook my head as much as I could. My neck was so stiff that it was more of a twitch than an actual shake.

“It’s a long journey, you know?” She wiped the tears from her face with her sleeve.

“I’ll be okay.”

She sighed but didn't argue with me.

“It’s hard to believe we’re going home.”

“I know.”

“I thought we’d never go back.” She sounded wistful.

“Me too.”

She shuffled, trying to get comfortable but she seemed unable to.

I held my hand out to her, knowing she didn’t like to touch people but also that it might help to reassure her that we were actually back together again. She took it, leaning against my arm.

“Thank you for waking me.” She whispered, her fluttering shut again.

I stayed awake, staring at the faces of my crew and trying desperately to convince myself that we were together and that this wasn’t a weirdly realistic dream. The pain pounding through me was enough to remind me but I still wasn’t quite sure. It wouldn’t have surprised me if this was all some strange drug-induced hallucination caused by the Council. I was too on edge to sleep anyway. I didn’t trust Councillor Harvey. He didn’t seem angry enough when he read our verdict. He’d promised Cas that he would win and that seemed to scare Cas.

Councillor Harvey is a monster and I knew even then that he would do something to get back at us and hurt Cas. I just didn't expect him to go this far. He didn’t need to go this far.

I managed to stay awake for the whole journey. The others woke up occasionally, generally when we went around a corner too roughly and jostled their injuries but they mostly went back to sleep again after.

I couldn’t. Wouldn’t, I guess. I was exhausted but I couldn’t let my guard down enough to sleep. I was still the captain of this crew even if we weren’t really a crew any more. It was my responsibility to keep them safe and I’d already failed once, I wouldn’t do it again.

The van’s engine stopped rumbling underneath us and a spark of excitement shot through me. I was was pretty sure that we were home, they probably wouldn’t have taken us anywhere else. Despite this, anxiety still gnawed lightly at my gut.

I think we’ve stopped. I told everyone to wake them up.

Gem sat up slowly, her hand going to her stomach unconsciously.

I listened carefully as the Guardians slammed the doors behind them and walked to open the side of the van for us. My breathing hitched as I waited to find out if we were actually at the base or not. It wouldn’t have surprised me at this point if Cas’ dad had ordered them to kill us and say it was a car accident or something. He’d probably find a way to blame it on the Irisians. He hated them so much.

The door opened, the brightness blinding me but I blinked furiously to clear my vision as I tried to position myself in between the door and the rest of my crew.

The garage. Gem breathed happily, taking in the room.

She was right, we’d pulled into the garage at the base. I recognised the scuffed floors and ships scattered around immediately. The smell of fuel wafted into the van and I breathed it in as deeply as my ribs would let me. We were home. I craned my head trying to look past the Guardians to see our ship and a sigh slipped out.

Frida. Gods, I missed her.

“Out you get. We’re under strict orders to take you straight to your dorm.” One of the Guardians said, not unkindly.

I held back, letting Gem shuffle to the door first, climbing out slowly. The Guardian extended their hand, helping her to stand before doing the same for each of us. Pain shot through my entire body as I stood, stiff and sore after sitting in the van for however long. I stumbled, my legs unable to hold me, and the Guardian immediately reached out to steady me. My pain was reaching unbearable levels and from the way the rest of my crew were holding themselves it was clear they were struggling too.

“Do any of you need a wheelchair?” One of them asked, holding up their arm to speak into their wrist monitor.

“No,” I replied, refusing to show how much I was struggling.

The others copied me and a splinter of guilt hit me. I knew from the delicate way they were standing they could have done with one. There was no shame in accepting help but I knew that somehow, Cas’ dad would be watching us. He’d be relishing how clearly injured we were. He loved to see us in pain.

We staggered through the corridors slowly, stopping frequently whenever one of us stumbled and leaning heavily on the walls for support. The walk was fairly short but it was longer than the walk between the storeroom we’d spent the last few days in and the showers. It was definitely the longest any of us had done in a long time and our injuries weren’t helping. By the time we reached our dorm, I was sweating heavily, the scrubs we were wearing were stuck to my body uncomfortably. With every step I took, I could feel the thin material sticking to my back. My hands itched to rip it from my body and I longed for a long shower. It didn’t even need to be warm, even ice cold would be alright.

I made it to my bed, grateful that I was still barefoot so didn’t have to bend to undo my shoes which I didn’t think I could have managed at that moment and fell forwards as carefully as I could. It still hurt but at least I was home.

My bed was so soft. I didn’t remember it being this soft. The sheets felt like Rhomia wasp silk. And the mattress was so springy. I longed to pull the duvet over my head and go to sleep but I couldn’t. I couldn’t escape to the pain-free bliss of sleep before we dealt with everything we needed to here.

Cas sitting down next to me gingerly, lying back and hissing gently as he did broke me out of my thoughts and I looked up. The Guardians were still hovering awkwardly by the door as if they were waiting for us to dismiss them or something. I didn’t want to deal with them any more but with difficult I sat up again and looked at them, my ribs begging me to lie back down. Despite everything that had happened, I was still the Captain of this crew therefore it was my responsibility.

“Do you need something?” I asked, trying my hardest not to sound rude but I knew I did.

They looked at each other briefly.

“We just wanted to say… Thank you… For everything that you did.”

The other Guardian stepped forwards.

“Some of us had family on Irision and you saved them. Thank you.”

This took me by surprise. Given how openly the Council had come out against the Irisians, I didn’t expect that they would admit to having family there or thank us.

I tried to smile as much as I could, which wasn’t much. I’m sure it looked more like a wince.

“We just did what was right.”

“We’ve told the Director that you’re back. He’s in a meeting but we’ve asked him to send some medBots… you all look like you need them…” I couldn’t work out if the Guardian sounded angry or sad about that but I was so tired I didn’t care.

My strength was quickly fading and I couldn’t bring myself to answer.

“Thank you,” Gem said instead.

I shuffled so that I was leaning against my headboard, my body no longer willing to hold me up unassisted, and leant back with a soft groan.

“We’ll go back to headquarters now… Hopefully, we’ll never see you again…”

My lips drew upwards in a smile, it was easier this time, I was hopeful too. If we saw them again, it was likely because we were being arrested by the Council once more. I wished stupidly that we would never see the Council again either. I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. I should have know Harvey wouldn’t let us be free.

They exited leaving us in silence.

It’s weird that Andy didn’t come to meet us… Do you think he’s annoyed at us? Peggy thought, not having the energy to speak.

I frowned but didn’t answer. It would make sense that he was annoyed at us, we did do everything without telling him. Maybe we should have? I still can’t decide. He might have been able to protect us but we would have put him at so much risk.

No. It wouldn’t have been worth it, I don’t want anyone else to have to suffer because of me.

I’m sure he’s just in a meeting like they said… Gem answered doubtfully.

Mmm. Peggy answered, obviously unconvinced.

I stared around the room with tired eyes. It looked different. I wasn’t sure how, it was just different. Something felt off. Maybe we’d been away from it for so long that I’d forgotten what it normally looked like. Or maybe it was because someone had moved our beds back to their original positions rather than clustered together in the middle like we normally had them.

Peggy caught me looking around the room.

“I know. Someone’s gone through our stuff.” She said slowly, her hand rubbing her chest.

“Are you sure?” Gem asked, sitting up stiffly and looking around.

Peggy opened a drawer on her bedside cabinet and nodded grimly.

“I thought so. They’ve taken our screens.”

I reached over and opened my drawers too. They were tidy, no obvious signs that someone had rifled through it but she was right, my screens were gone. Someone had gone through our stuff.

“Assholes. I bet it was the Council.” Cas muttered, not sitting up.

I agreed. It did seem like something they would do.

“Well, they won’t be able to get through our encryption. I hope they enjoy reading my class notes, that’s all they’ll be able to see. At least they’re all backed up so I won’t lose anything.” Peggy said bitterly.

“Did y’all notice how weirdly empty the base was?” Gem asked, her eyes darting towards the door.

“Yeah, I did think that was strange. There are people here still, just not out,” Cory replied.

“They probably just sent everyone to their rooms so they didn’t see us come home,” I suggested, my eyes flicking to the door as well.

“They probably didn’t want anyone to see how badly the Council treated us. Those fuckers,” Cas added, still glaring at the ceiling.

The door beeped quietly, interrupting our conversation. I looked at the others anxiously and glanced around the room for things I could use as a weapon in case it was the Council again before commanding the door to open, my hand edging towards the lamp on my bedside table.

A medBot glided in gently, turning to face Cory as I breathed a sigh of relief. He struggled to sit up, his face going faintly green with the effort it took him to push himself into a sitting position.

“Nope. You’re not doing this.” Gem said, placing a hand on his arm as he steeled himself to stand.

“What?”

“You’re not working the Bot. You can barely sit up, let alone stand. You’ll hurt yourself more if you do.”

“I’m the crew doctor. I need to.”

“Absolutely not. I’ve spent enough time in the medBay with you to know how to use this thing. I’ll do it.” She stood carefully, her face poised as if she was waiting for the pain to hit.

“What? No! You’re injured too.” He struggled to swing his legs off the side of the bed, his teeth gritted.

“I’m the least injured of all of us and so I’m the best suited to do this and you know it. You’ve already scanned all of us, we just need to do it with the machines so there’s a record of it and so we can get the meds.” She stared him down.

I bit my lip, not wanting to get in the middle of their fight but seeing no way around it.

“She’s right, Cory. She should do it.” I ordered reluctantly.

He looked at me, concern and pain warring on his face.

“Okay.” He sagged backwards in defeat.

“So… Where should I start?” She asked anxiously, looking around at us all.

“Start with Cas,” Cory said immediately which filled me with fear.

Cory’s modded eyes had already seen just how injured we all were and the fact that he’d chosen Cas to be examined and treated first meant that his injuries were the worst. I’d suspected they would be, his dad seemed to enjoy beating him, but I hoped they weren’t that bad. Selfishly, I’d hoped that I was the most injured. I could deal with that. Pain is tough but seeing my crew hurt made something within me break.

“I’m fine,” Cas said still lying on my bed and making no effort to get up.

“You’re not. You’ll need to stand for this to scan you.” Gem said, making her way over with the Bot.

He nodded, his face tightening as he prepared to sit up. I leaned forwards to help him as much as I could, trying to ignore the pain flaring through me. He stood, sweat beading visibly on his face and walked towards the wall as Gem instructed. I watched as the machine scanned him and Gem read the screen carefully. She nodded at it, her face grim.

“Okay, this says we should give you pain killers and anti-inflammatory drugs and re-splint some of your fingers. Now that we have the proper equipment, we can do that better. It also suggests giving you rapidheal to help you heal faster.” She looked over at Cory for assurance.

He nodded and stood up slowly, a determined expression on his face.

“I’ll do it.”

Cory walked over to the medBot and scanned the screen quickly, a pained expression on his face.

“We should also use some numbing spray on your ribs.” He decided, typing deftly.

“That would help,” Cas said with a single tight laugh.

“You’ll have to take your top off for tha,.” Cory warned him.

Cas’ eyes flitted to me before looking back at Cory.

“That’s fine,” He said, his throat bobbing.

“Do you want us to look away?” I asked quickly as Cas reached for the bottom of his scrub top, leaning heavily against the wall for balance.

His jaw twitched as he considered it.

“No… It’s fine.”

I bit my lip anxiously, torn between wanting to look away and wanting to make sure Cas wasn’t too badly injured and not wanting to see just how bad it was. I couldn’t help myself though, I needed to make sure he was okay. Cory and Gem’s reaction to his scan worried me. Cas slowly pulled his top up, hissing quietly in pain as he did. I couldn’t bear to see him hurting himself any more so I stood up as quickly as I could, ignoring the pain, and gently helped him lift his top over his head. He lowered his bruised arms slowly, staring into my eyes. I wanted to say something but I felt captivated by his closeness after being apart for so long. My fingers longed to reach out to him, to take him into my arms and hold him until everything in the world felt better,

“It’s been a while since we’ve been this close.” He almost whispered. “Especially with me topless like this.”

One of his eyebrows raised as a grin began to grow on his face despite the situation.

“Are you okay?” I asked, my hand coming up to rest on his flushed chest.

“I will be.” A hint of his old bravado lit his face before it was replaced with concern, “Are you?”

I nodded then opened my mouth to say something else, something completely inappropriate when Gem burst out laughing.

“Can you keep your hands off of each other for five minutes whilst we sort everything out? Is that too much to ask?”

I blushed, looking around the room at the rest of my crew. They were all laughing at us and for a second, it felt like nothing had changed. I stepped back, peeking shyly at Cas’ face as I sat on the bed again. My eyes roamed his chest and I stifled a gasp. Most of his chest was covered by a network of dark purple marks fading to nasty yellow around the edges. He’d obviously been beaten worse than I had, probably much worse than any of us had. Fury towards the Councillor rose in my chest and I balled my fists, wanting to hit him, to hurt him as much as he hurt Cas. More hopefully. He deserved worse. He deserved to suffer endlessly. I wanted to make him suffer. To hurt him, to rip away everything and everyone he loves and watch as he struggles. He deserves death for what he has done. That is the only way to make things right. I vowed to myself in that moment that one day I would watch as he died.

Cas sheepishly met my eyes and I pushed down that wrath, trying to smile at him encouragingly instead. I’m pretty sure I just grimaced at him instead though. I wanted to hold him and make everything else go away. And then kill his father. Cas sighed in relief as the medBot sprayed him with the numbing agent, his face becoming more relaxed, more like the boy I recognised and loved. My hands unclenched gently as I saw the pain fade from his face.

“Come sit down, I’m going to have to inject you with these so they get to work quicker,” Cory said, preparing a syringe.

Cas lowered himself gingerly but didn’t wince this time as Cory scrutinised the bottles of drugs in front of him.

“Aries, shall we do you next?” Gem asked, looking at Cory for confirmation.

“Peggy, do you want to go before me? Or Cory.” I asked, looking at them.

“I’m okay to wait,” Cory said, focusing on Cas’s arm where he was slowly inserting the needle.

“Me too. I’ll wait until you bring the medBot back over here.” Peggy was watching Cas, her eyebrows creased in concern.

“Okay,” I muttered, forcing myself to stand.

It hurt more that time. I stared at the medBot screen whilst it scanned me, trying to read the data. It was as bad as I expected.

“Okay, it’s suggesting basically the same treatment as for Cas: pain killers, anti-inflammatory and rapidheal. It’s saying you have broken ribs as well, should we spray her too?” Gem asked Cory.

“What do you think?” He asked me.

I swallowed anxiously, understanding Cas’ reluctance now. I’d seen my body in the mirror recently, it was a mess of bruises and I didn’t want them to see it either. But it would stop the pain for a little bit and if Cas could do it…

“Okay.” I nodded stiffly, trying not to show how worried I was.

I pulled my top off, my ribs flaring in pain again and dropped it onto the floor. I saw anguish flicker over Gem’s face before looking away. I couldn’t bring myself to meet anyone’s gaze so instead, I looked down at the ugly, unsupportive bra they’d given me at the jail. I could feel Cas’ eyes burning into me but I couldn’t bring myself to look up.

“Okay, you ready?” Gem asked gently.

“Yeah.”

I closed my eyes whilst it worked, turning as Gem instructed to make sure all of my body was sprayed. A gentle coolness settled on me and the pain dimmed to a barely noticeable level. No wonder Cas had sighed, it felt great. I’d forgotten what it felt like to not be in constant pain, it was a weird sensation. I lowered my arms with much less difficulty, finding some of the pain that had been fogging my brain start to clear.

“Come sit next to Cas and I’ll sort you out once I’ve finished with him,” Cory instructed.

I sat down carefully, still refusing to look at Cas and trying not to jostle Cory who was re-taping his fingers together with a splint. I could see Cas still staring at me out of the corner of my eyes and finally turned to look at him. His eyebrows were drawn together and his jaw was tight. He looked like he wanted to punch someone or cry. Maybe both at the same time. I knew how he felt.

“I’m so sorry.” He muttered quietly, leaning his shoulder against me gently.

“Not your fault.”

“It is. It was all my dad.”

“It was your dad but it wasn’t you.”

Angry fire danced in his eyes. I could see how much he hated his dad.

“It was. He knew how much it would hurt me if they hurt you. All of you. He did this to get back at me, I know it.”

“Straighten your fingers,” Cory ordered quietly.

Cas looked at him in surprise, his fingers had been slowly curling into a fist and making it hard for Cory to strap them properly. It must have been causing him so much pain but that had been eclipsed but his hatred.

“Sorry.” He muttered, wincing slightly as he did.

“It doesn’t matter why he did it. I don’t blame you for this, Cas. Not at all. It was all your dad.”

I slipped my arm through his and kissed his bare shoulder gently before resting my head against it. He sighed and shook his head slightly but didn’t respond.

I stand by that. None of this was Cas’ fault. It was all you, Harvey.