“Obviously, this is not all it takes to pilot a ship in real life. It is much more complex but this gives us a basic understanding of your innate skills, your ability to split attention, understand commands and multitask. Start by adjusting the seat so you can reach all of the controls, then follow the onscreen instructions for start up and flight. Follow the route the simulation suggests and then land, completing your simulation. If you crash into anything you will take damage, this will be displayed onscreen. Depending on the severity you may be able to continue, if not, stay seated until the rest of your group finish. Please be aware that it is rare for someone to land the ship safely on their first attempt, so do not become disheartened.” The Commander informed us, staring down at the group in front of her.

She’d introduced herself as Commander Leo and she immediately intimidated me. She was tall and muscular looking, her hair was cut short and her eyes were intense. Any time they settled on me, it felt like she was gazing into me and judging my worth. Not in a bad way, just in a kind of appraising way, like she was trying to work out what I was capable of.

“Normally, we would split the cohort in half and half would do the flight testing then engineering testing whilst the other half do physical fitness and weaponry but your year is particularly small so that is not possible. Can the first six intakes please take a seat? It doesn’t matter who goes first, we’ll be scanning your wrists.”

A few people walked forwards, some looking more confident whilst others were looking at the flight simulators like they were scared of them. I knew how they felt. The machines were intimidating, I remember thinking the first time I saw them. I love them now, we’ve spent hours on them.

They were big, scary looking things. The giant black leather seats were connected to the complex looking controls with multiple levers and switches in different colours and with tiny writing under each one. The screens themselves were complicated too. There was the main screen with smaller screens on either side. Things flashed up on all of the screens, explaining what they did and how to control a ship but it seemed too overwhelming. My hands itched to grab the controls and read each of the screens but Commander Leo was still talking.

“Okay, excellent. Start by adjusting your seats and then turn the engines on when you are ready.”

I looked around nervously. I didn't want to admit it yet, to myself or anyone else, but I really wanted to be a pilot. A flyer, as they are known by trainees. The idea of controlling a ship and being able to go wherever I wanted is what I had always dreamt of. This was what I wanted. I leant forwards slightly, trying to see exactly what the kid closest to me on the simulator was doing. I could see him jerking the controls around but it didn't seem like the right way to do it. The ship was jolting around on the screen woo wildly, the noises it was making didn’t seem okay either.

Surely the ship can’t response that quickly? It’s going to hit that asteroid. I thought a second before the asteroid slammed into the screen, shaking him in the chair.

“Okay, 11003. You did good. Wait there until the other two children have finished.” Commander Leo called out, noting something on her screen.

I hadn’t even noticed three other kids had crashed already but their screens were flashing the words “SIMULATION OVER. FATAL CRASH” too. Instead, I turned to watch the kid on the end with the dark circles under his eyes and barely healed cut on his arm. He was doing better than the other kid, his control on the steering seemed smoother. He swept it gently to the right, tilting the ship out of the way of an asteroid and a faint smile touched his lips.

That’s the way to do it. I told myself, trying to memorise his movements exactly.

He was preparing to land now, clenching the controls so tightly I could see his hands shaking slightly. I stepped around the person in front of me, trying to get a better look at what he was doing. It looked like you had to centre the ship over the landing pad, release the landing gear and gently lower the engines until it touched down.

How quickly do you lower the engines? What’s the correct speed? I saw his hand quiver as he reached for the lever that I guessed controlled the engines.

He gently lowered it but it wasn’t slow enough and the ship smashed into the ground. His shoulders slumped and his hands clenched the controls for a second longer before dropping into his lap. Commander Leo crouched down and said something to him quietly, causing his head to whip up and a smile to form on his face again.

“Okay, that was great. Can you six exit the simulators and go stand on the right side of the room so the next six can take a seat?” She said to the group, clapping that boy on his shoulder as he walked past.

I edged behind some more people back to where Peggy and 10877 were standing. I smiled encouragingly at Peggy. She looked a little happier now but I was still worried about her since she ran out of the written testing in tears. She smiled back tightly.

“What do you think?” 10877 asked, nodding at the simulators.

“It looks good. The trick seems to be going gently, not moving the controls about too fast or too much and keeping an eye on the scanners for asteroids.” I said, my eyes fixed on the screen there someone was trying to take off.

“That’s cool! So, you want to be a flyer?”

I shrugged, not wanting to answer.

“How do you avoid exploding on takeoff? I’m worried I’m going to do that and everyone is going to laugh at me.” Peggy said, her eyes worried fixed on the screen of a boy who had just done that although no one was laughing.

“Urm… it seems to be that if you open the engines up too quickly, that’s the lever on the right I think, it doesn't like it so you should probably go a bit slower?” I said, watching the last kid crash into the side of a satellite.

“Look, watch that one there.” I pointed at a new kid who had just started takeoff. “See how she is lifting the ship up really slowly? That seems to be the right way to do it… Ah.” I winced as her ship shot forwards and slammed into another ship.

“Go on. Why don’t you go now?” 10877 said, nudging me forwards as Commander Leo asked for a new set of kids.

My heart squeezed uncomfortably in my chest.

“I can’t! I’ve not seen anyone else land it yet!” I hissed back at her.

“Commander Leo said that’s really rare, no one might do it so there’s no point in waiting! Go on!” She shoved me so I stumbled forwards to the front of the crowd.

“Oh, great! I thought no one else was going to volunteer for this group and I was going to have to start picking kids.” Commander Leo smiled at me kindly and gestured to the last empty chair.

I walked forwards on weak legs, my heart thumping in my ears and sat down at the simulator. Commander Leo scanned my wrist monitor but I barely noticed, I was too focused on the console in front of me. I wiggled in the chair a little, trying to get comfier before pulling it forwards so that I could reach the controls easier. My hands were shaking from the nerves so I shook them out a few times before reaching out. I took another deep breath, looking around at the console in front of me and trying to remember what I had learnt from the others I’d seen go before me.

This one is the engine, this is for the thrusters, this button changes the view on the cameras.

I looked around again and realised that every other person had taken off already apart from me. One of the kids had already crashed and another was about to. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Commander Leo watching me. I looked back at the controls in front of anxiously.

Well, I can’t put this off any longer.

I gently lifted the lever on my right, one hand staying on the steering just in case. The sound of the engine increased, whining slightly.

With that other kid, that meant the engine was going too hard and then it exploded. I dropped the lever down a tiny amount and the whining noise stopped.

Okay, okay, keep going. Slower this time. I started inching the lever up again, slower, listening carefully.

It’s all the way up. Time to hit the thrusters. But not too fast. Check the scanner first and wait for that ship to go by. I reminded myself, my ship hovering as I watched it go past.

It’s gone. Okay, time to start flying. I reached out with my left hand, gently starting the thrusters and moving forwards slowly at first but then faster when I got the hang of it.

I was doing it. I was actually doing it! My face broke into a wild grin. This is what flying was like. I gave myself a moment to be excited before remembering that the other kids had to avoid asteroids and satellites and follow the flight plan so I needed to pay attention. I gave the controls what I thought was a gentle tilt to the left to test them and the ship swerved wildly. I brought them back to the centre, my heart thumping again, and glanced at the scanner anxiously but luckily nothing coming towards me for now.

So, I need to be way more gentle than that. I chewed my lip nervously and tried again, barely moving the wheel this time.

The ship gently drifted to the left and I switched the camera to look at the outside of the ship, the left wing was now pointed towards the planet I’d taken off from which was far below.

Okay, now try the other way. Not too hard. I returned it to the centre and turned the ship to the right.

A small red light appeared on the scanner, coming towards me from the right. Panic flared in my chest.

I bit down on my lip, the pain helping me to focus.

If I turn the ship like this to the left a little and hit the thruster then… The asteroid passed me, buffering my ship slightly in its wake.

A few more appeared on the scanner and I steered past them more easily, understanding how now, following the route on the lower left side of the screen.

Time to land this thing. I thought, reluctantly bringing the ship to hover over the landing pad.

I checked the outside view of the ship, nothing seemed that dangerous, before reaching out to grip the engine lever once more.

Gently, gently. I thought to myself, slowly lowering the ship.

It dropped quicker than I expected and I jerked the lever up again in fear causing the engine to whine unhappily.

Okay, do it even slower than that. I started edging it down, slower this time, hovering above the ground for a second before touching down.

A smile appeared on my face as I realised I had landed it safely before ‘SIMULATION OVER. FATAL CRASH’ appeared on my screen.

“No.” Slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

I could feel disappointment crushing my chest. I’d never be a flyer now.

“What went wrong there?” Commander Leo asked from behind me where I hadn’t even noticed her standing.

“I… I don’t know! I landed it. I thought I landed it.” Tears were welling up in my eyes, burning them.

“Take a deep breath and think.”

I did as she instructed, my eyes roaming over the controls before I noticed a small button I’d forgotten about.

Idiot.

“Landing gear.” I whispered, digging my nails into palms and feeling like I deserved the pain.

“Exactly. If you don't put the landing gear down, you’ll hit the ground and could breach the bottom of your ship, damaging your thrusters and engines and potentially risking the lives of everyone on the shit.”

She wrote something on her screen before turning back to the class.

“Okay, next six children.”

My heart was pounding in my throat but I knew if I tried again I could land it this time.

“Can I try again?” I asked before I could think better of it.

The room went silent, unsure of how to react. No one else had asked to try again. If I had done this back at the orphanage, I would have been beaten but I needed to try again. I couldn’t fail this and miss out on being a flyer just because I was an idiot and forgot about the stupid landing gear. This was worth more than a beating.

Commander Leo’s eyes narrowed, weighing me up.

“Okay.”

Mutters filled the room as a couple of grateful tears fell down my face.

I need to do better. I need to be better. I turned back to the controls. I can’t forget the landing gear this time.