Chapter 22

The past few days were strange for me. It might sound dumb but it was as if this were the first time I was coming home. Like I was readjusting to it all again. Probably because I wasn't planning to run away again and wasn't guarded all day and night by Luke. Those were huge changes. But it meant Clare had a better chance at getting back at me. I wasn't so much as worried about that though. She learned her lesson that night she tried to help me run. If she were to beat me, Luke would be more than a little suspicious next time.

It was the first time I ever felt... normal, I guess is the word. That is, while I was in the house and not communicating to the accusers of the outside world. So I was a little on edge when the time came where I couldn't avoid the outside world.

For the past couple days, Luke and Clare would wake up, go to work, and leave me home to do whatever. Luke knew I wouldn't run because he saw how much I wanted this opportunity he offered. Though strange, alone at home... it was quite relaxing. I think I understood what Luke meant by a fun summer because this was awesome. Just to laze around all day, taking a walk through the woods, watch TV and to stuff my face full of food. Nobody here to judge me, accuse me, or wave off what I was saying. Just me and the house all to myself. Some might call it boring after a while. And I call those people losers.

Today, however, was different. I was sitting on the couch, watching the news. Yes, I know; you are probably thinking, 'well, who watches the news?' It's depressing is what most of you would say. But to me, because it was so depressing, that made me feel better about my fucked-up life. It was nice to see I wasn't alone with the fucked-upness of the world. Besides that, I was also just addicted to TV. It's been a year without it and I can't describe how much I missed it. It really is amazing at how far we have come in the world.

I was taking full advantage of the stash of junk food I found in the kitchen; hey, if my body was made to not gain weight, let it be! Tossing a handful of m&m's in my mouth, I thrived in the taste. So damn good! As I ate, I continued watching the news.

After the reporter covered a story of some controversial couple that just became engaged and moved in together, I rolled my eyes. What the hell kind of news is that? The world is going to shit if they call that news. I'm not sure why me, the girl most known around town as missing and insane, wasn't on the news when I was just found! I knew I was big news after I left. So what are the headlines? Well certainly not anything to do with me but rather a popular local couple that just became engaged. Don't get me wrong; it's fine I'm not on the news. I don't want the attention. The point of it is that I figured I would be big news and it's insulting for some reason.

I shoved another handful of m&m's in my mouth when I heard the front door open. Looking up from the TV, I glanced to the door and watched as Luke walked in. Getting out from work, he looked relieved he was home. Walking into the air conditioned house, I heard him sigh before he met my eyes. I saw that beads of sweats were formed around his eyebrows and knew it had to be a pain in the ass to wear that dark uniform in summer - especially if he had been working outside.

"Hello," he said to me with a polite smile as he started to unbutton his shirt. He revealed a white muscle shirt under it that showed off his chiseled chest it hugged as well as exposed his strong arms.

"Why hello to you too," I said under my breath with a light tone, eyeing him up. Every time I saw him, he just becomes more attractive it seems.

In the past few days, I haven't seen him too much. He's been working. I finally found something bad about not getting away: my dumb feelings. Embarrassing, I know, but I kind of missed him. I didn't care if he believes me or not; he was still... I don't want to say a friend but what else is he to me? Daddy? I don't think so.

Since I've been back, there's been this tension between us. Though I wanted it resolved, you can bet your ass I wont be the first to try to do so. There's this little thing called dignity; I was quite fond of it. I was sure he could feel it in the air too. I wasn't sure what made it evident. I still acted normal around him. Still a wiseass, joking, and showing signs of cruel humor. But it was obvious that since the time he started beating up Patrick that day to now, something changed and only time could tell what that change was.

He didn't hear me or notice my stare at his fantastic figure since his eyes were focused on taking his shoes off. "Damn, it's hot out," he groaned. He looked up to me as he then smiled, moving towards where I was sitting.

"Good excuse to keep undressing," I said.

"Ha ha," he said sarcastically as he sat down next to me on the couch. I continued to try to watch the news but couldn't seem to concentrate on it. My mind started to wander to other things. Well, more specifically, that Clare would be home in a little bit too. Doesn't that just ruin your day? Good thing Luke still kept his side of the deal we made a while ago of keeping Clare away from me. Most of the time, that meant he was away from her as well. I think that was the best thing for him. You know what they say: the more time spent around a monster, the more likely you will become a monster. I'm only concerned over the dude's safety.

"So, this is what you've been doing all day?" He asked, interrupting my thoughts after a moment.

"Yeah, why?" I asked, staring blankly at the TV, brushing the crumbs off me from earlier. Yes, I was a mess when I don't need to leave the house. So sue me.

From my side vision, I saw him turn to me more and paused. I glanced over to him and saw he looked a little concerned. "Aren't you bored?"

"Being bored is nice for a change," I said.

He raised an eyebrow. "I'm kind of surprised."

Well, that was a first! I've always wanted a reaction that was something other than his usual. It was good to see that something about me finally caught him off guard even if I didn't know what that was. He usual was good at figuring me out.

"About what? How good I look today?"

He rolled his eyes. "That you're not out doing things. It's a nice summer day."

I scoffed. Seriously? "What am I going to do, genius? Play with all the friends I have? Go out in public and not be harassed?"

When I mentioned the part about friends, he understood when I saw his eyebrows smooth out and lips purse. But even if I had friends around here, I still wouldn't want to go out in public just yet. Sure, Luke and I went shopping and nobody noticed me. But I was convinced that was just luck that got me home unrecognized.

"Well, let's go do something," he said to me and I saw he was at first somewhat hesitant to say it. I looked at him closely, wondering what he meant by that. He couldn't be suggesting just hanging out, could he?

"What? Trying to get away from the bitch before she gets home?"

It was his turn to scoff but I noticed his eyes moved away from mine for a small moment. He shook his head, a small smile on his face. "What did you think I meant when I said showing you a fun summer? Since we came to an understanding that you won't be conducting any more escape attempts a few days ago, well, I figure it's time we start somewhere. I told you before. I want to be your friend and to hopefully work towards being a family of some sort."

I was... well, I'm not really sure. Instinct pushed for me to laugh in his face no matter how I felt about his words. However, looking back into his eyes, I saw how much sincerity he had packed behind those words. I knew he wanted to have some relationship with me. It wasn't just to save his marriage; I'm not sure if he can at this point no matter how hard he tries. He really wanted to get to know me, become friends.

Sadly, I was okay with that. And shut up, I know I sound soft. Hell, I think I'm going soft. Don't blame me; I tried avoiding it! But no, someone's always there to stop me when I try to run. Not my fault, folks. Not my fault.

"What would we do?" I asked.

He smiled and shrugged. "Anything."

I eyed him skeptically. This had to be some sort of set up. First of all, I never was offered just a day out having fun. Even with my old friends; we would usually just sit around, smoking a lot of the time. That's what weed does to you. Just makes you want to relax and sleep it seems. Now that I think about it, I never did really anything worth mentioning. So it was strange to have him offer me this. I was having a great day just being bored. Now, it seemed too good to be true by what he was saying. Second, it was the fact that he was saying it. He approached me on the subject - even after a long day at work. However, it would make sense if he just wanted to get out of the house and away from Clare.

"Alright man," I sighed, sitting up slightly and facing him more from my slouched position. "What's the catch?"

He snorted. "There is no catch! If you don't want to do anything, fine. Whatever," he said, holding his hands up in surrender. "If you just want to keep watching the news, then by all means...."

I was on my feet, not willing to press him on the subject any more now (though I was seriously thinking that Clare was a reason as to why he also wanted out of the house). "We're going."

I soon found out where.

***

"You call this fun?" I asked, watching him look ahead in the distance, eyeing up the hole that had to be acres away.

Golf. He took me to a fucking golf course. So no, this wasn't simple putt-putt golf. This was the type of shit you see on TV. I should have known he was that boring. He does look like he would golf though.

This place was huge. Acres and acres of land spread across the green land of silence. It looked like a serious game with how far he needed to hit the ball in order for it to land on the green where the hole was. But he and I were only here for practice, according to him.

"Yes," he said lightly as he put his golf ball on the tee after bending over slightly. That was a plus though. Every time he bent down to pick up the ball or place it on the tee, my stubborn eyes couldn't help but once again admire his backside. But hey, that's not my fault he looked amazing in his clothes he wore specifically for golfing. Which were plaid, baggy shorts. Yet they looked professional in a white tee-shirt;

He then proceeded to stand and he met my eyes with his while he walked over to the golf cart where all his clubs were. As he pulled out one of the larger ones, I said to him, "We should have done what I wanted to do."

He smiled. "I think golfing is a little more... safe? Is that the word?" He asked, a hint of sarcasm there.

"Hey, there is nothing wrong with a little Russian roulette," I defended as if I were surprised he turned that one down. It really didn't matter what we were doing. I would find a way to make this fun despite my complaining. It was just a natural thing to do.

He scoffed, brushing off my words as he walked back to where his ball waited on the tee. I watched in curiosity, wanting to see how this was exciting to him as he stood there. He held his club close to the ball, lining up where he was planning to hit it - which seemed too far. But with a neutral face and relaxed body, he started to swing the club back to hit it.

"Don't hit it too hard; you don't have enough balls to afford to lose them!" I said loudly just before he hit the ball. He didn't hit it with accuracy but rather only caught the side and sent the ball off a few dozen yards. I smiled. Though I wasn't a golfer, I knew one of their dumb rules was that you always needed to be quiet. Don't blame me for wanting to test a theory to see if it mattered. Not to mention, I wanted to try to say as many remarks as I could that would usually follow with a 'that's what she said.'

After he hit the ball poorly, he took a minute to groan before he looked up to my eyes with a glare. "Really?"

I shrugged. "Sorry. But I think it's total bullshit how you are encouraged to cheer during any normal sport while you need to be quiet while golfing. I don't see the point of staying quiet. When putting balls in holes, that's usually a loud event," I said, hiding my smile which he ignored as best as he could.

"You don't need to stay quiet. You're just not suppose to be too loud to the point where it could become a distraction," he stated as he went back to his bag on the cart and grabbed another ball. Under the hot sun, I watched as he walked back to the tee. "So if you stay quiet, I think I might be able to impress you," he said, glancing up at me from where his eyes were focused on lining the ball back up. I smirked at his remark.

I was quiet, curious actually as to how well he would do. He swung the club up to put power behind it before he let the club sweep down. Then, he hit the ball off the tee. I watched as his feet turned with the swing when the ball went flying. And when it did, I was quick to look up to the bright sky to hopefully follow it. But I couldn't after a few seconds. When I glanced to Luke, I saw his eyes shift upward in the sky before his pretty eyes fell with wherever the ball was. I kept looking back to see if I could find the ball according to where his eyes followed it but couldn't.

A minute later, he glanced to me and smiled. "Impressed?"

My eyebrows dipped, I sighed. "What the hell was that? I didn't even see where it went."

He chuckled. "You need to keep your eyes on the ball the whole time in order to be able to follow it." He pointed out far ahead of us, where the light green patch was he was aiming to get the ball to. "It just missed the green. Not my best but not my worst. Once we're finished with hitting all my balls, they need to be picked up," he said with a humorous smirk on his face. I laughed at his comment and was happy to see I wasn't the only one cracking the dirty remarks today.

"That's what she said," I laughed, raising my hand for a high-five which he gave me with a shake of his head. It was a stretched 'that's what she said' but it could apply after all.

He smiled before he went on. "Well, I shouldn't have said mine. You'll be hitting them too."

Damn. Just when I think I wont be able to stand him anymore, he shows his funny side and it's like we have the same mind. I noticed a huge shift from how he was the past few days to what he was acting like now. He was relaxed, stress free it seemed.... Luke was happy here. It was nice seeing that side of--

Damn! Soft, soft, soft! I internally groaned.

Though what he said made me chuckle, it also made me slightly confused. "What do you mean? You don't think I'm going to be doing that, do you?"

"Why not? This is just practice for me. We are just here to have fun."

It was kind of strange, the feeling that came over me. It made me tingle, the fact that he wanted to do this with me - even if it looked like a retarded sport. I scoffed on instinct. "You think I want to do this?"

"Yes," he said, surprising me. "Just try it. It helps with stress. Lord knows we both have that."

"I don't know how."

"It's easy," he said moving towards me and guiding me back to the golf cart where his clubs and balls were. "Here. You are lucky I have a woman's club and tee," he said, pulling the long club out of the tall bag before opening a side pocket. He was looking through the tees that all looked the same.

"There are different kinds for men and women?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"That makes complete sense," I sighed in exaggeration, shaking my head in disappointment. "I should have expected. Leave it to high-class, white men in colorful shorts to separate women from them in this lame ass sport," I said, referring to how all golfers seemed to be white guys as a joke.

He cracked up, laughing hard at that. His teeth shined as he was facing me, his eyes so... well, not tired and not clouded with problems. I think he was really understanding my humor now; he knew I wasn't a racist or had any beef among differences. Just my crazy mind at work with the dirty part stuck in.

"Now, don't forget about Tiger," he said, acting as if he were scolding me for leaving him out.

"He doesn't count as a real golfer."

"Oh and why is that?"

"He brought the small percentage of black men rooting for him to shame! Think about it. If you are black and a golf fan, you would have been disappointed to here that Tiger brought that race to shame once again!"

Now, keep in mind folks, it made sense! People of different color are instantly judged on the small mistakes one famous person of that race has made. Hey, it happened numerous times in the past! Just referring to what other people started so don't get offended over nothing. This was just my humor and it was a good test to see if Luke really understood it. Because I get that it's hard to. I found out early on that if I take societies failures and stereotypes as well as other sensitive topics into my jokes, well they just seemed less depressing if I joke about it. It's just me mocking society today. And it's me dealing with my own problems.

It was also a relief to see that Luke knew that. In fact, it was kind of weird to see that he had some of that humor in him too.

"True, very true," he said while he couldn't hold back that humorous smile. He shook his head, forcing himself back on task. His was smile still evident as we walked back toward the tee and he held out the club to me. "Here, take the driver," he said as I took the club from his hand while he placed the ball on the new tee he grabbed.

"I'm assuming the driver is what you named this club."

"No, that's just the type of club."

"That's surprising since you like giving names to any sort of equipment used," I said, referring to 'the broken fucker.'

"Oh shut up," he said as he stood back, observing how I would approach doing this and ready to critique me. I tried to recall the way Luke did it; his stance, how he held the club, swung it.... I angled myself off to the side where he had stood, lowering the bulging end of the club just behind the ball. I then looked ahead of me at where I needed to aim it. The artificial bright green grass stood out where the hole was. It was so far! I at least needed to try to get as far as I could in that direction.

"Okay," he said once he saw I was thinking over what needed to be done. As I looked over the course, I saw him step into my side vision. "Now, first you need to have your hands in the right position. Otherwise that will screw up your swing and put stress you don't want on your arm."

I looked to what he meant and saw him demonstrate with his own hands on his club he was holding. He held the club out towards me so I could see the position of his hands. He first took his gloved left hand and placed it on the club first, as if that was essential. "You're right handed, right?" he asked.

"Last I checked."

"Then you first put your left hand on the club, your thumb facing the ground." He lightly lifted it to show me and I nodded. "Then you place your right hand slightly over it, placing both thumbs down, one over the other. Okay?"

"Yep," I said, copying what he was showing me with my hands and club. "But don't I need a glove too?"

"You don't need one," he said.