Welcome to court!

On my team, we have my lawyer, myself, and my emotional support.

On your team, we have your lawyer, you, your sister, and her boyfriend.

My emotional support took one look at your sister and asked if she is pregnant. I couldn't help but laugh because that made me remember the time she had a pregnancy scare. Did she seriously think she could name a daughter with her Jewish boyfriend 'Nevaeh'? Thankfully, your sister isn't pregnant that I know of, but it wouldn't surprise me if she was. I understand her boyfriend's latex allergy, but she has a prescription for birth control and can't be bothered to take it regularly.

Are you seriously wearing a beanie to the courthouse? How stupid can you be? You never did learn proper hygiene after the breakup either and I can see that. The grease in your hair is glistening in the sun.

Did you three see us waiting in my car? What were your first thoughts? Do you hate me? Do you realize you are screwed? Are you wondering what evidence I've brought? Oh, you'll see, but first, let me go pick up my lawyer. His car won't start and he's still stuck at his office.