《The Lyrics That Defined Us.》i forgot that you existed.
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How many days did I spend thinking 'bout how you did me wrong?
Lived in the shade you were throwing
'Till all of my sunshine was gone
And I couldn't get away from ya,
In my feelings more than Drake, so yeah
Your name in my lips, tongue-tied
Rent free living in my mind
But then something happened one magical night
I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me but it didn't
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet
I forgot that you existed
—
Eddy never meant to be mean to Brett. But circumstances made him be so. Eddy too, had an ego. Just like Brett. If there was someone worried, that was Mary. Soo-Lin and Rob were just existing, at the back of the car. "Dude, calm down." Mary said, carefully putting a hand on Eddy's shoulder. She was the one driving since the other three were not in the state to even talk properly. Soo-Lin and Rob were just shocked to see the face that belonged to the name, or was it the other way around? Name that belonge- whatever. Eddy reluctantly eased under the soft, warm palm of his girlfriend. "Breathe in," She said, eyes locked on the street ahead. "All of you!" She suddenly spoke louder. She heard angry grunts from the back. "Breath in, I said. Calmly." Three sharp breathes were heard. "Out. Through the mouth." Then three bouts of cough. These babies were very bad at meditation. "Oh my god. You can't even do this? How you become doctor?!" She screeched, mocking Eddy's female-voice. Thankfully it was not name 'Edwina'. Instead they called it tiger-mom.
Well that calmed everyone down. And all the three immediately started laughing. "Dude, but seriously you shouldn't have been that harsh, babe." Mary said, slowing down since they had reached Mary's apartment building. Eddy scoffed, "Yeah whatever. I don't care." Meaning every syllable of it. Soo-Lin spoke up, "You told us a lot, but exactly what changed in you?" quickly tapping Eddy's shoulder. "You never told us that." She continued. Eddy and the gang got out of the car. Eddy answered, "I don't know, I remember sitting alone in my apartment. A total crying mess, whimpering ever so softly. I just missed him too much. But," he paused, looking down at his feet. Mary slowly stroked the palm of his hand, wordlessly telling him that they were there. They were there to listen. They were there to help. "But, he never called. Never messaged. No one from my school talked again to me. But they did with him." Rob asked, "How'd you know that?" In a soft voice, which was very rare to listen to.
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They had reached Mary's flat. Mary unlocked the door and the group entered. "Instagram. Comments. Replies." Eddy sighed. "Never on mine, but on his. Even common friends gave him more attention." Eddy looked down at his feet and smiled.
He was wearing the socks from that night. The same one on which his teardrops fell. The one from that night whe-
"It was like he was the star. It was like my identity never existed. As if I was just another friend. As if I lived off of him." Eddy slowly slid down the couch. "It was never Eddy's bestfriend Brett, but Brett's best friend Eddy." He splayed out and started spreading himself as if he was butter. Soo-Lin sat on a chair close by. Mary took her rightfully earned place on Eddy's left thigh. Rob was sitting on the floor in front of Eddy. Looking into the eyes, and telling him "I'm there for you no matter what." without actually saying anything. "I was always the one in the shadows. I don't know where we changed. Where we broke. It just seemed like one day everything fell apart. Like a necklace of pearls just broke and everything shattered." Mary lovingly stroked Eddy's shoulder. Calming the tensed muscles.
"I still remember the time when I got bullied and he-"
A teardrop.
"He was there to save me."
Another one.
"He said he would be there for me in the future."
One more.
"I guess he lied."
Soft fingertips brushed his tears away. Mary's melodious voice spoke, "Eddy you're still hiding something. It's okay, tell us. We're here to listen. We will never judge." Eddy looked to his left. A small smile of gratitude showing on his lips. "Thanks." Rob slowly asked, "Why were you bullied?" Eddy looked at him. "There's a lot you don't know, guys." Mary shuffled a bit. She was not heavy but not that light either. But Eddy's thighs were still his thighs and he yelped a little in pain. "Oi." He said pulling Mary right between his legs. She was a bit short and her shoulder was the perfect chin rest for Eddy. "So where do I start?" Eddy said, shoving his nose into Mary's neck. "Right at the beginning. All you've told us is Brett is a violinist, studying at Juilliard, is a prodigy, great at music theory, sucks at maths. You've never said anything about you. You and him." Eddy sighed, slightly ticking Mary.
"We met at a tuition. Mathematics tuition to be exact. Kinda clicked then and there. We both pl-" Eddy paused, realising none of them knew he played the violin. "Hmm?" Rob asked. With a sigh he dropped it, "We both played the violin." Mary snapped her head up, "My boyfriend's a musician and I don't even know?" Eddy smiled, "Was. Your boyfriend was a musician. I don't play anymore. I can't." He went back to his earlier position, pushing Mary's shoulders down forcefully to rub his nose on her neck. "So we became friends. I was 13, he was 14." Rob nodded. Soo-Lin was staring off into space, but still clearly listening. Mary had her eyes closed, focusing on two things: Eddy very discreetly cuddling her and Eddy's words. "We spent day after day, hour after hour together. Practicing to become soloists. My actual dream. Concert on concert, theory on theory, pieces on pieces, exams on exams, all nailed, all done till perfection. Together.
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"But then came a day when my parents sat me down, and told me to forget everything. Forget if I was ever even a musician. Forced me to drop it and take another profession. A better paying one. Doctor or lawyer. Or professor.
"That, that was difficult to take in. When I was crying alone, he gave me shoulder. He went to Juilliard while I sat back and looked at my pathetic self in the mirror.
"He will become a professional. A soloist. He will complete his dream.
"I won't. It would have been sad, really. But I've grown immune. My dream, my passion has changed. I no longer like music. I no longer feel music. Our music, the one we created, Brett and I, is lost in the dark. Our promises are sealed and shut tight in a box and buried somewhere so deep, no one can reach it. But there is a problem.
"I can't really forget him. I want to. I really want to. But he latched onto everything. Every single thing. Bubble tea? He's there. Music? He's there. Friendship? He's there. Coffee? He's there. Thoughts? He's there. He's everywhere. I just need to forget him. I wan-" Mary cut in "No."
"Hmm?" Eddy asked, confused. "Maybe he's sorry? He's apologising?" Eddy chuckled, "He had three years, babe. He never talked in three years. You guys probably didn't know the meaning of 'goodnight', right?" Soo-Lin shook her head, Rob's expression changed, Mary looked down at her feet. "He promised. Another one of his stupid statements that latched onto me. We had an agreement. He would always say goodnight to say he was okay. Just a goodnight, nothing more. He could call, text, voicemail. But if he was ever too busy, just a good night would have done." Eddy removed a strand of Mary's hair that was getting in his nose's way. "No. But, neither did he not do it, he forgot! He forgot he ever made a promise!"
Eddy started again, "The only time he called was when he was vulnerable. He got his heart broken by a girl, and I was the person that came in his mind. He called me when he was the one crying. I called him so much, but he? He never picked up. Always voicemail."
Eddy was getting angry, he never liked talking about him. "It all star-, his strange behaviour all started, suddenly when I told him I was changing careers. He spoke very less, but that was due to shock. I did the same too." Soo-Lin asked, "Why did one day you suddenly become more social?" Eddy smiled, "I called my sister one night. Then just suddenly remembered, no, realised that Brett was just one person. One person in my entire 18 years of life and I still had more, obviously. So why stop for one person? Isn't it better to move on if he already did so too?" Soo-Lin nodded, "Great that you did, would've never been able to become friends then." Mary shuffled around. Awkwardly turning to face Eddy, "But babe I'm still kinda worried, that he wanted to apologise. Maybe give one last chance? Just one? I would love to see you guys back, if you were really great friends. One last time, for me?" Eddy looked deep into her eyes, and pouted, "Not telling you to forgive him, just talk? It makes things clearer instead of running out of a cafe, right?" Eddy nodded a little, "What do you guys think?"
Rob straightened his back, "I agree, and if things turn out weird, I'm always there to break some bones." He joked while popping his fingers' joints. Soo-Lin gave a smile, "No matter what we're always here, Eddy. You should talk to him, if that makes it any better."
With a sigh, Eddy pulled out his phone. "I'll text him to see if he wants to talk."
You:
Hello, Brett. I apologise for my behaviour at the cafe. If you want to talk, we can. Privately, at the same place again.
"Okay! So that's done." He said in relief. "Now we gotta wait for sometime. Don't think he would reply so soon." Mary swiftly slid off of Eddy and laid down on the couch, with her legs on Eddy's. "Movie?" She asked. Everyone nodded in excitement.
B. :
Tomorrow 8AM?
Came a message in the middle of the movie. Eddy sighed and replied back, quickly.
You:
Great :)
Now, the thing was to wait.
For the disaster.
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