《The Arrangement》24
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Jungkook stared blindly at V - at Taehyung - and waited for everything to make sense. It didn't.
"Tae?" Jungkook gasped out. "How?"
His eyes scanned over the elder's features, trying to connect this person in front of him as his Taehyung. He always thought V and Taehyung looked similar. But it never occurred to him that Taehyung could still be alive, that he could be V. Especially with those freckles covered up, Jungkook failed to link V back to his childhood friend, to his first love.
But now, comprehension and awareness washed over him. It felt like he was seeing clearly for the first time in weeks.
"You didn't recognize me," Taehyung muttered brokenly, his voice sounding raw and hoarse. "You didn't know who I was."
"Tae . . . the only truth I've known for the last six years was that you were dead. Even though you looked so much like the boy I used to know, I thought you were gone."
Taehyung shook his head, blue hair falling into his eyes. It unnerved Jungkook to sit here with him after years of wishing he could redo that fateful day. Wishing he could take back the words he spoke and the fear he harbored.
"Why didn't you tell me it was you, Tae?" Jungkook asked, tears running down his cheeks again. "Did you know who I was the entire time?"
"Of course I did, Kook," Taehyung breathed, "but the last time I saw you, you said you . . . you said . . . vile and void and vacant. That's been my truth for the last six years."
Jungkook choked on another sob. "You've lived all those years thinking I hated you. But it was never true, Tae. I was in love with you and it's my biggest regret that I didn't get to tell you then."
Taehyung moved his hand to cup Jungkook's cheek. "I can't believe you spent all this time thinking I killed myself because of you."
Both boys were fully sobbing now. They cried for the initial lies and fear that brought them to where they were today. They cried for the heartbreak they endured as well as caused. They mourned the loss of six years together.
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"I want to touch you, but this doesn't feel real," the younger admitted. "I want to hold you like I've dreamed of holding you, but I'm afraid if I do, you'll just disappear again."
Taehyung's thumb rubbed softly against Jungkook's cheek. "I know, Kook. But I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."
Jungkook searched the elder's eyes, looking for reassurance that this was real. That Taehyung was truly here.
When he found it, he wrapped his arms around Taehyung, who instantly reciprocated. Chest to chest, each of their heads burrowed into the other's neck, they let their emotions escape them.
"I'm so sorry, Tae," Jungkook said against the elder's skin. "I am so sorry."
Taehyung's hand knotted in Jungkook's hair. "I should have never believed the words you said. I should have known better. I wish I stuck around long enough to see you again."
"What happened that day, Tae? Where did you go?" Jungkook pulled back to ask, moving his hands to hold Taehyung's firmly.
"Here. Let's get more comfortable," Taehyung said, scooting back on the bed to lean against the headboard. Jungkook quickly joined him, reconnecting their hands as they looked at each other.
"I went back home after you and I spoke," the elder began, turning introspective as he relived that day, as he relived his reoccurring nightmare. "I was a mess, Kook, and no matter how I tried to hide it, my parents saw. They tormented me, as usual, but it was worse this time."
Jungkook swallowed. "What did they do, Tae?"
Taehyung looked down at their clasped hands. "They had friends over. Friends who knew my parents never hit me . . . so they volunteered to teach me a lesson in their place. And my parents allowed it. I was held down for a while, but somehow I managed to slip out from them. I realized my life there had nothing left for me. I didn't have a loving family and I didn't have you, so I left."
He threw his head back against the headboard, closing his eyes tightly. Even now, he could still feel the pain from the punches to his abdomen. He could still feel the blood trickling down his face.
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"Right before I ran off, I told them they were no parents of mine. I rejected them as family and said I'd live a life far brighter away from them. I took nothing with me but the clothes on my back, saying I'd rather be homeless and poor than spend another second in their presence. I fled in a daze, half terrified their friends would come after me. But no one ever did.
"I somehow ended up here, in this city," Taehyung continued. "I was scared out of my mind and hungry and cold. I didn't think I'd last a few days, but somehow, luck was on my side."
Taehyung opened his eyes and smiled softly at Jungkook. "Jin found me trying to steal food. When he caught me, I swore he was going to call the police. But instead, he sat me down, fed me, and demanded that I tell him who I was. I didn't give him much to work with, but he knew I was in bad shape - physically and mentally. Without a second thought, he took me to his family."
Jungkook recalled the dinner he attended last weekend. It was easy to see how much Taehyung loved Jin and his mother and vice versa. "They became your family," Jungkook concluded.
"They saved me, Kook. I can never repay them for their generosity or love. They still don't know the full story, but they accepted me anyway. Even though I've been a pain in their asses all these years," Taehyung chuckled softly.
Jungkook's mind was racing with the information. He was having trouble processing quickly enough, but even still, only one thing plagued his mind.
"There are so many things I want to ask you," he revealed. "Like how you met RM and Suga and how you became this big star. But that can wait for another time. I just need to know one thing."
"Anything."
Jungkook took a deep breath before angling himself to better face Taehyung. "Can you forgive me for everything I said and did back then? I'd understand if you aren't able to. Fuck, I can't forgive myself so why should I expect you - "
Taehyung placed a finger over Jungkook's lips. "Sh," he chided gently. "Am I still shocked? Of course. It'll take time for both of us to accept what happened and move on. I doubt it will be easy to just put everything behind us. But I want to, Kook. Fuck, I want you in my life so badly. That's been my dream my entire life - to be with you. So yes, I forgive you. I think I started forgiving you the time I kissed you first, at the photoshoot."
A hopeful smile split Jungkook's face. "Do you mean it? Do you really want me in your life?"
"Yes," Taehyung said strongly. "I know we can't recreate the past and what we had back then. But I want to move forward with you and see how we can grow together."
"I don't know whether to laugh or cry," Jungkook admitted, shifting his arm to curve around Taehyung.
The elder leaned his head onto Jungkook's shoulder, his arms finding their way around the younger's waist.
Jungkook hummed contently into his hair, closing his eyes as he soaked in Taehyung's presence by his side. His mind still couldn't comprehend that he was here, but that was okay. They needed time to work everything out fully.
"I hope one day you can forgive yourself, too, Kook," Taehyung whispered into his ear. "Let's begin a new life together, free from the past."
Jungkook planted a shy kiss against his head.
"Thank you, Tae. I'm going to try."
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》 V A L E N W R I T I N G 《
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