my phone's humble camera cannot

wring a pose out of the blue of that

evening sky squeezed against which

the dark green leaves turn baby black.

it's all so deletably blurry— even the moon

even you, and of course me.

i want to be writ in water in this

chennai heat where even thoughts evaporate.

i want to see the world not because

i like it but because i hate it in here—

pain waves red flags all over me

in protest against this combustible emptiness.

when this nothingness settles, you see

that sisyphus and atlas and narcissus are one—

the only thing worse than i i i is you you you—

i hate how you make it all you. i'm moving on

like a wiper slithering on the windshield

making sure the car doesn't crash

on this rainy red night.

~ ajay

15/5/2022