"You are such a bitch." Mia growls as she pushes past me after practice as we make our way towards the changing sheds.

"Right," I say as she walks slowly away from me towards her little posse, shooting daggers at me through her glare over her shoulder.

"You better fucking kick her ass properly one day," Bea says to me, an annoyed tone in her voice.

"I'm planning on it," I say seriously. Pulling my hair into a messy bun from the loose ponytail it was in.

"God I hate Mia," Molly says with a sneer.

"She is quite a piece of work that girl." I agree with a nod.

"Hey Lace. Nice showing off." Seth says slinging an arm around my shoulder. I bat him off.

"It's not showing off if you can do it without the attention," I say rolling my eyes.

"Please we all know that was a little show just for us," Luke says wiggling his eyebrows at me from next to Bea.

"Luke I love you dude. But shut up." I say raising my eyebrows at him. He just grins at me in response.

Half the football team and the cheer team follow us into the changing rooms. Everyone wanted showers to combat the sweaty stink we were radiating.

***

Bea passes me a towel once I get out of the shower

I wrap it around me shivering in the cool air of the changing room, regardless of the steam the showers were omitting.

"Cold?" Callie asks me.

"Extremely," I say as I begin to pull my clothing out of my bag. I go into a stall to change and come out in my tank and sweats. Goosebumps still trail their way down my arms.

I shiver as we get outside. The cool night air made my teeth chatter.

"Taking your time," Luke says with a shake of his head as Seth and he pulls themselves off leaning against the exterior of the changing shed.

"Yeah well some of us have more clothing to put on." Bea counters coldly. Annoyed at the jeer. We begin walking towards the cars. Callie, Seth and I unintentionally hung back from Luke and Bea.

A small shiver runs through me sending goosebumps all over my arms. I wrap my arms around me, hugging myself to maintain some warmth. My hoodie was at the bottom of my school bag in Seth's car. I had left in there thinking I wouldn't need it.

"You're cold," Seth says pulling his hoodie off and handing it to me. I open my mouth to refuse but he insists. I slip it on and immediately sigh in relief. Mia had already gone, her posse following her.

His hoodie is so warm and smells like him too.

Bea makes a face at Seth and Seth replies with a look of his own.

Silent twin telepathy shit or whatever.

***

"Mom. Dad. I'm home." I call out as pull open the front door and I put my sports bag in to it's spot. Taking out my wet clothes and putting them in to the washing machine.

"Hi, honey." My dad calls out from the kitchen. I make my way into the kitchen.

"Your home a little bit later tonight honey?" My mom says cheerfully.

"Uh yeah," I say cautiously.

She wasn't going to launch into a rage?

"Would you like some dinner?" She asks pleasantly.

"Yes please," I say. She scoops some lasagna onto a plate for me and slides it across to me. No pizza?

"Your brother's are home." My mom says happily.

Oh.

Explains the good mood.

Good to know I'm not worth a good mood.

But my big brother's were home for once. That was exciting.

"Leroy? Jacob?" I call out excitedly.

"Lacey!" I hear two deep voices call out, followed by the stomping down the stairs. I'm wrapped up in a big bear hug followed by another.

"I missed you." They say ruffling my hair.

"I missed you guys too you douchebags," I say fixing my hair.

"Molly!" They say rushing to bearhug her as she walks in behind me.

"How long are you guys back for?" I asked, scooping some lasagna into my mouth.

"Only a week. Then we're coming back after that for two months. You get to meet our girls." Leroy says wriggling their eyebrows.

"Yay. I'm excited. You guys should have gone to college closer." I say with a sad sigh.

"Aww does someone miss their big bro's?" Jacob says pouting.

"Yeah. I do." I say seriously.

"Me too," Molly says with a pout. Where she slides into the other barstool and scoops up some lasagna mom slid her.

"Aww, mommy not feeding you enough." Leroy jokes.

"Something like that," I say glaring at her. She gives me a look and Dad sighs.

"Is there something going on?" Jacob asks surveying the room.

"Maybe ask mom. Oh, wait no she won't tell you." I say standing up and heading towards my room.

"Lacey Cascade-Anne Carter." My mom's voice yells.

"How dare you." She sneers and grabs my wrist.

"How dare me?! How dare me?!" I scream spinning around to face her.

"You have no right. Are you trying to make me look like a terrible mother?" She asks me.

"Actually mom. I have every right. And maybe it's because you are a terrible mother." I say acid dripping through my voice.

"Take that back right now young lady." My mom says.

"It's the truth. And you know it. Or maybe you don't. Your too blind to see anything. You can't even look past your own pride to admit when you're fucking wrong." I seethe.

"Can someone tell us what's going on?" Leroy asks aggressively.

"Your own mother lied to you about me not being here over Christmas. I wasn't on an exchange..." I turn to Leroy and Jacob and start.

My mom covers my mouth with her hand and glares at me.

"Kirsty! Let Lacey go right now." My father yells angrily.

"I want to hear what she has to say," Jacob says cautiously.

My mom moves away from me and I glare at her.

"Leroy, Jacob. Your own mother lied to you about my whereabouts. I wasn't in Scotland. I was in a fucking psych ward. Maybe I should fill you in. I have a cute little collection of mental illnesses, depression, anxiety, Adhd. I was first diagnosed at age 13. When you two were 16. Mom doesn't and didn't believe it. She didn't want me to tell you. Then when I was 15, your guys first year at college. I attempted suicide. Which clearly failed. You know I expected mom to realise how much I hated the world at this point. But no. She's hiding it from my own brothers? Why. Well just ask her. If you excuse me I'm going to go be with people who actually care about me." I ask her.

"Leroy, Jacob. Have a good chat with mommy dearest." I say sarcastically. Making my way towards the Nixon's house. Tears streaming down my face. Calls of protest are called after me, but I ignore them. Slamming the door behind me. I didn't care.

I text Seth.

You busy?

Just finished dinner. You ok?

Left the house.

Leroy and Jacob r home.

Lost my shit at mom.

I'm sorry, fuck what can I do?

Yeah.

Meet me at the intersection?

On my way.

Please don't tell Bea.

I write as I stop and lean against the Lake drive sign.

"I won't tell her." Seth's voice says from in front of me.

"Thank you," I say as he pulls me into a hug. I sigh against him and then pull away.

"Come on. I'm showing you something." I say grabbing his hand and pulling him towards my spot.

His hand in warm in my own, sending soft tingles up my arm.

"Hold on I have to climb up there?" He asks staring up the bank.

"Yeah, over it, it's on the other side." I say with a small shrug.

"I'll follow you." He says hesitantly. I slide through it and stand on the other side. After a few seconds his head pokes through.

"What is this place?" He asks standing up slowly.

"It's where I come some nights. When I can't sleep. When I'm sad. When I want to think." I say shyly. "It's where I was the other night."

"It's gorgeous." He says glancing around. I grab his hand again and pull him towards the tree.

"I usually watch the sunset here," I say as I fall onto. I gesture for him to sit. He takes a seat next to me and makes himself comfortable.

"The view up here is always incredible," I say looking out to the ocean. Where the sun makes the sky pink, the clouds fluffy, streaky all sorts.

"It is," Seth says softly. "How'd you find this spot?" He asks.

"Bea doesn't remember but we found it when we were little kids. I kept coming back here. But I think she forgot about it." I say sadly.

"You want to talk about it? The stuff with your mom or other stuff?"

"I told Leroy and Jacob about being in the psych ward and stuff. Mom was having a go at me and I just, wanted them to know how shit she is I guess," I say giving him a small smile.

"I just wish I could tell Bea," I say sadly.

"She knows about me, how I go to therapy and stuff. She's understanding. And she still treats me like I'm her annoying brother." He says with a fond chuckle.

"You go to therapy?" I ask, giving him soft look.

"Since I was 14 yeah. Mum noticed some things and took me to one of her regulars at the boutique. And well been seeing her almost every couple of weeks for the last couple of years." Seth explains.

"Wow, I never knew that about you. I'm sorry, you don't deserve to go through that too, no one does." I say, patting his hand.

"Yeah, it must have been hard though, not telling you're brothers?" Seth asks, turning the conversation back to me. I guessed he had shared what he felt comfortable with at that moment.

"I wish I'd been allowed to tell my brother's. That's all I wanted to do, Hell I was a 13 year old girl who was thinking about ending her life. Took me two years before I finally attempted it." I say sadly.

"I'm glad it wasn't successful," Seth says taking my hand.

"Thank you," I say with a smile at him. I didn't know what to say. I wish I could have agreed with him, but at points in time, it was hard to.

We spend hours talking. About anything and everything. Earth and Mars. Chalk and Cheese. Salsa and Avocado. The meaning of life.

He tells me about his journey with mental health. I tell him about stories in the psych ward.

"I still can't get over the fact you don't like white chocolate," I say shaking my head softly. Looking up at the stars.

"I can't get over the face you do." He says with a small grin. Looking at me sideways.

We were lying down now, our heads propped up against the roots of the tree gently.

"Was that a shooting star?" I ask.

"Yep make a wish." He says. I close my eyes, knowing what I want to wish.

After a while, I open my eyes and look at Seth to find him watching me carefully.

"What did you wish for?" He asks.

"If I say then I won't be true," I say sticking my tongue out at him.

"Well then. I hope it does come true." He says gently.

"Me too," I say quietly. My eyes danced over his face. Which is lit up from the moonlight.

"Admiring me are you?" He asks with a grin. His face lit up.

"Pfttt. Just looking at your ugliness." I say jokingly.

"It's okay princess. I admire you all the time." He says gently.

I roll my eyes at him.

"Your funny," I say.

"Aren't I just." He says with a soft sigh before looking back up to the sky.

"There's something about the nighttime," I say gently.

"There is." He says.

For the rest of the night we talk, only lapsing in to silence a few times. Not an awkward silence though. A gentle silence.

Throughout the night we had gotten closer and closer, using each other's warmth to fight off the cold.

I still had on his hoodie from practice and he had a different one on.

Eventually, we watch the sunrise and decide we should probably pretend we slept all night and head back to our own houses. I get up and pull Seth up after me, we climb out of the hideout. Walking past the early morning runners and dog walkers.

I wave as we go our separate ways and he waves back a small smile playing on his lips.

I open my front door quietly. And start sneaking towards the stairs.

"You're awake early." I hear Leroy's voice as I walk past the kitchen. I jump slightly.

"So are you," I say.

"Time difference. Coffee?" He asks.

"That'd be great," I say taking a seat in the barstool.

"Where did you go last night?" Leroy asks.

"Just to a friends." I say with a shrug.

"Is this friend a boy?" He asks.

"No." I say.

"Who's the hoodie then?" He asks.

"Oh, it's Seth's. I got changed after practice and my hoodie was in his car and I was shaking so he offered." I explain.

"Seth Nixon? That boy." Leroy says shaking his head.

"It's not like that," I say rolling my eyes.

"Where's mom?" I ask.

"She's at the Nixon's. Jacob and I aren't really speaking to her at the moment." He says.

"I'm sorry. That was entirely my fault." I wince.

"Hey hey. No, it's not. It's her fault she lied to us for so long." He says. "She shouldn't be acting like that. It's not her mental illness." He continues.

"Yeah," I say quietly sipping the coffee he slid me.

"How are you doing?" He asks me.

"Last night was good. Refreshing, but otherwise not the best." I say truthfully.

"I'm sorry. I wish I knew. I'm just so shocked that our mother would lie like that." He says in disbelief.

"Me too. The day she, dad and I stepped out of the psychiatrist's office was the day I lost her as a real mother. She became a completely different person after that." I say sadly.

"Good morning guys," Jacob says yawning and hugging me from behind, stealing my coffee in the meantime.

"You really haven't grown up have you," I say grabbing the coffee back from him.

"Nope. Not a bit." Jacob says with a grin.

We sit and chat for a while before dad comes in stretching.

"Hey, munch." He says kissing the top of my head.

"Hey dad," I say rolling my eyes.

"Why are we all up at the crack of dawn?" My dad asks.

"The time difference," Jacob says.

"And little miss over here was trying to sneak in," Leroy says. I widen my eyes at him.

Well. Could have gone without being dobbed in.

"I just came to get some stuff. I was at a friend's last night. Not the Nixons. I thought maybe mom would go there to talk to Trina." I say.

"Oh okay good. As long as you were safe." My dad says softly.

"I would rather if you wouldn't leave next time." He continues stirring a sugar sachet into his coffee.

"Okay," I say gently.

"Well, I'm going to go shower since there is no time for me to sleep in more," I say making my way up to my room.

I shower quickly and change in to a pair of cute jeans and a white sweater, that crisscrosses at the front. I add some gold necklaces. I lightly curl my hair and add a bandana.

I do my makeup carefully, adding highlight, blush, eyeliner, lipgloss, eyebrow pencil, eyeshadow.

The whole shebang.

Now that I have spare time too. Before making my way downstairs again to where Molly is just starting her day.

"Who are you?" Jacob says as I walk in.

"Man I be that pretty mother fucker man," I say rolling my eyes.

"ASAP?" Jacob says.

"Yessir," I say with a grin.

"Rocky?" He asks in a fake high pitched voice.

"Yessir," I say in my deep ASAP Rocky voice.

"Welcome to Texas ASAP." He says.

"Thank you, sir." I say pleasantly.

That was Jacob and I's little thing. He would randomly spout a TikTok sound. And I would finish it.

"Lacey a few years ago would never. Ever. Wear something so stylish." Leroy says.

"She's changed," Molly says with an eye roll.

"Well, that's a bummer," I say plugging my phone in and grabbing my sports bag and packing it. Sending Molly a glare.

I hear the front door open and I sigh.

"I'm going to the Nixon's," I say to my brother's and dad as my mom walks in.

"They're currently yelling at Seth. He snuck out." My mom says.

Leroy and Jacob stand there uncomfortably. My dad draws his lips into a tight line and gives me an apologetic smile.

He shouldn't be sorry for my mom's ignorance.

"That's lovely." I say not registering what she said.

Oh no.

Fuck I got Seth in trouble.

This is why I don't ask for help.

It always ends up backfiring.

I grab my phone and plug it in to my portable charger and grab my packed sports bag. Before I leave the house.