Barra da Tijuca, Rio de Janeiro

Barra da Tijuca, 2:00 PM, Friday. After another week of school and lots of studying - at least for some people - Vini and Enzo could finally enjoy the much-prized weekend at the best place in the world, Lake Buena Vista. Actually, Vini had an idea to go out at night with Enzo and Belgium, but he had been aware that Enzo was a bit discouraged the whole week. So he tried to think of a really good plan so they could have a nice leisure time. And his mind worked very well in such moments, as the confirmation that the night would be great came a few hours later, when Belgium called saying that everything was according to plan. El Plan, he would say.

Enzo, Vini and Belgium went to the Downtown Mall, a place quite different from the many traditional malls in the neighborhood. To start out, Downtown was entirely open, which tends to be bad on rainy days, but without this inconvenience, it is very enjoyable.

Vini chose a bar right next to the movie theater. He wore a red jacket and dark shoes, and Enzo wore a yellow polo shirt and dark jeans. Belgium picked the table a little far from the live band so as not to disturb the conversation of the soon-to-be quadruple trio. Because of that, she stood up and went to the drink area.

- Hey, Vini, did you notice that Belgium is wearing a very nice dress?

Vini made a suspicious face.

- What does that mean, Enzo?

- It means that someone is going to get on tonight.

- One time in a million.

Belgium walked back to the table and tapped Enzo twice on the shoulder, trying to get his attention. Vini glanced around the bar and couldn't help but notice a girl on her back, blond, drinking a soda from a green glass bottle. El Plan was going along very well.

- Enzo, can you get me a drink? - Vini took the bait.

- Why don't you get one, you slacker? - Enzo didn't like it.

All right, Vini was already expecting Enzo not to take the bait easily. After all, his capacity to think and react was much higher than a goldfish's.

- I have cramps. - Vini justified. - And I don't think you want to stroke my feet.

- Gee, you're right. That's what Belgium is here for.

- Ha, ha, ha, Enzo. - Belgium laughed ironically. - Good one.

Enzo stood up and walked to the bar for the first time. He sat in one of the swivel chairs and ordered for Vini. Looking to the right, he finally noticed the girl with the soda. And she was very pretty. Small face, blue eyes, narrow lips and long legs. The rest, to Enzo, was irrelevant.

- Hello. - she said.

- Hi. - Enzo smiled.

- Are you alone?

Come on, Enzo.

- Actually, yes. I am.

Nice.

- What's your name?

- Enzo. And yours?

- Aline.

- Oh, nice. I've never kissed a Aline before.

She smiled and leaned forward, kissing him for a full minute.

- El Plan worked, Belgium. - said Vini, watching from a distance.

- It really worked. - She agreed, but one question still needed to be answered. - What is "El Plan"?

- It has to do with Formula One and Alpine. It's El Plan. Nobody knows, and that's the fun of it.

- Is it just "El Plan"? It doesn't have any meaning?

- No, dear. "El Plan" is "El Plan." You don't question it and you don't wonder about it. You just accept its existence and that you don't know anything else. Like Area 51.

The whole night was very well indeed, so good that Enzo didn't even return to the table with Vini's drink. So much so that Enzo didn't even return to the table with Vini's drink. But that's alright, since he really wasn't in the mood for drinking. There was plenty of time left for Vini and Belgium to be together, without the giddy Enzo disturbing them. Everything was going well, until a tiny detail blew it. It all started when Enzo returned from the bar on his way out.

- And then? - Vini wanted to know. - How was it?

- Fine, fine. - Enzo masked himself.

"Fine, fine?". Something was wrong.

- What happened? You didn't like her personality?

- No, she's nice.

- Is she a good kisser?

- Yes, quite well.

- So, what's the deal?

Enzo was afraid to say, so it was up to Vini to guess the stupid reasons why Enzo can't get excited about a woman.

- Does she smoke?

- No.

- Did she talk bad about Formula 1?

- If so, it would be at Lake by now.

- Is she into progressive Genesis?

- If so, I'd be on Mars already! Everybody knows that Phil Collins' Genesis is the best Genesis! He saved the music and I can prove it.

Enzo used to say that, but he never exactly proved his point.

- So what was the big deal?

- Well, Vini, there I was, kissing her. When I opened my eyes, I looked down at her arm.

- What did you see?

- An Ultras tattoo.

- Oh. Really?

- Yes.

- She is a big football fan. Isn't that good?

- No!

- Why not, you moron?

- I hate the team she's cheering for.

- And? You're not dating her team.

- No, no, Vini. You know better than that. When you date a girl, you also date her family and her football team, if she's got one. The family I don't know, but the team sure I do. And it is hideous. Disgusting, awful. Nazi fans. I want to vomit just thinking of them!

- They are not exactly Nazis, Enzo.

- No, but they act like! They probably read Mein Kampf before the games.

- That's idiotic, Enzo.

- No, no way, Vini. This is a red flag.

- So, let me get this straight. You like the girl, but the problem is her football team.

- That's right.

- And if she cheered for the rival team in town, you wouldn't give a shit?

- That's also correct. But what exactly is your point?

- No, none. I already know that you are an idiot, so I just wanted to know how far you would go with your idiocy.

- Very funny.

- I'm not laughing, Enzo. I'm this close to "Will Smithing" you.

The next day, Enzo knocked on Vini's door, seven o'clock in the morning. He had to crawl from his room like a zombie to the door and answer it. As he opened it, he wanted to throw something heavy at Enzo.

- Enzo, to wake me up at this hour, you better have an excellent reason.

- Aline keeps calling me.

- And what's that got to do with me?

- For a start, you are the one who dragged me into this. El Plan.

- Belgium told you?

- Yes. The girls are buddies.

- Belgium! - Vini whispered. - But anyway, Enzo, leave it alone.

- No way, Vini! Dating an ultra stinks! It would be better if she was a bloody criminal! What's the difference anyway?

- Enzo, it's seven in the morning and I don't have to deal with your bullshit.

Vini was about to close the door, but Enzo blocked it with his hand.

- Oh yes, you do, dumbass! You put me into this, you're going to pull me out.

- All right, all right, all right. Did you two arrange something to do?

- She wants to see me in Downtown.

- All right. I'll tell her you already have an appointment.

- What appointment?

- What difference does it make? It's fake!

- Look, Vini, if you do anything stupid...

- Just chill out.

To prove that he knew what he was doing, Vini grabbed his cell phone and called Belgium in front of Enzo.

- Hi, honey, could you speak to Aline for Enzo? He forgot that he has an appointment and will have to cancel the date.

A few seconds later...

- She's asking about the appointment.

- I'm shocked. - Enzo complained. - Say I've got gastroenteritis.

- Gastroenteritis? - Vini couldn't believe it. - What is gastroenteritis?

- Is... When you eat something and you get a stomach ache.

- Enzo?

- Yes.

- Shut up!

But as it turned out, Belgium didn't really buy Enzo's stupid excuses. In the end, he had to meet Aline that day. Not only that but Enzo was forced to go to the game in her team's away crowd. As luck would have it, the team was going to play in Rio de Janeiro that weekend. And he couldn't hide his displeasure on Monday, when he met Vini again.

- Worst weekend in History of weekends. Maybe ever! - Enzo complained. And it wouldn't be the last time.

- What went wrong?

- To start, everything! I had to watch the game in the away crowd with her! With the nasty ultras! I left there speaking German, planning to move to Argentina and looking the Mercedes brochure!

What did Enzo mean by that?

- I am serious, Vini! They spit on the players! Disgusting. Absolutely sick.

- I get it, Enzo. - Vini, or course, lied.

- Not only that but I'll have to go out with her again. Fuck me!

But then Enzo thought of a brilliant scheme.

- I'm going to travel to Europe!

- Oh, ingenious! - Vini started to laugh. - You couldn't even fake gastroenteritis properly.Now you want to travel to Europe as a lie just to get away from the girl?

- Yes.

Enzo had no shame at all.

Hours later, Enzo met Aline at the Lake's gate. Instead of her conventional clothes, she was wearing the same clothes as the ultras, which was already a huge red flag.

- Oh, God! - Enzo complained. - This will be catastrophic.

- Hello, darling. - she said, kissing him. - How are you?

- Very sad, very sad. - Enzo replied, annoyed.

- What happened?

- I'm going to live in Europe.

- Really? When?

- Today.

- Today?

- I mean, I mean, in a few days. I didn't tell you before to avoid upsetting you. It was already scheduled... You know? In the stars...

Oh...

- And where are you headed?

Be smart, Kiddo. Don't say a completely random place that you may regret.

- Lithuania.

- Really?

- Yes, yes. It's a fantastic country. Santa Claus Land.

- Isn't Santa Claus Land Latvia?

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

This was coming out worse than expected. But still, in a humorous way, it could be worse.

- Do you want me to accompany you to the airport?

- No, no, no. There's no point. There's no need.

- No, darling. I'll insist on driving you.

- Oh. Thank you. - Enzo smiled... Of concern.

The last part of the story is at Galeão International Airport, the only international airport in the whole city. Aline went with Enzo and Vini in an Uber. Actually, Vini wanted to ride just to have a few laughs, because the situation Enzo got himself into was priceless. There was no way he could miss it.

As soon as the Uber stopped at the white crosswalk, Aline gave him the money and got out of the vehicle. Enzo and Vini came right behind. Time was running out. There was no other way out, apparently. What could they do?

- They? - Vini questioned. - What's it got to do with me, narrator? I just came for the entertainment.

- Shut up, Vini, you jerk. - Enzo complained.

Enzo took his passport and passed it to Vini for no reason. He checked the screen for the night's flights. And not only that. Which one would have an extra seat for him, even if it was a fake.

- Look, Aline, you'd better stay here. I'll go by myself.

- No, no, no. - Aline refused the suggestion. - I'll stay until the last moments. I'll stay here until I return from Latvia.

- Lithuania. - Vini corrected her.

- Whatever! - Enzo whined. Again.

Enzo went to the KLM check-in booth and tried to negotiate with the attendant. It had to be plausible, in a weird way.

- Hello, sir, good night.

- Good night. - Enzo smiled. - Would you be able to provide me a lie-flat ticket?

Obviously, the attendant didn't understand. She was being paid a salary to welcome people, but this was way too much.

- Say again, sir?

- This girl I brought with me, she is mental. I need a lie-in ticket. Even if it's just to access to the gate and leave.

- A fake ticket?

- Yes, would that be possible?

- I have a very clever solution to your problem.

Ha. First one of the night. Enzo nodded to Vini, who ironically returned the gesture. Then a man dressed as a security guard approached him and asked why he was called.

- This boy has drugs in his backpack.

- Is that so? - The security guard and Enzo both asked.

- Yes.

- What kind of drugs?

- Cocaine, crack, marijuana, narcotics, Manchester City shirts.

- Oh, shit. I am Pablo Escobar. - Enzo was intrigued.

- We're going to have to take you in. - said the security guard.

- I agree. After all, transporting drugs is a crime in many countries. Except in Colombia.

- What are you talking about? - The security guard asked. - In Colombia it is a crime too.

- What do you mean? That's all that country is known for! Oh, Shakira. And Juan Pablo Montoya. And coffee. But coffee is not a narcotic, right?

- Take him away. - said the attendant.

Enzo was taken by the security guard to a small reserved room, but far away from Aline, who didn't quite comprehend why Enzo was taken away. Vini, finally, was friendly and made up a story that he had been drawn to be inspected by the airport security.

- It's routine. - Vini concluded. - It's routine.

Hours later, Enzo checked to see if she had already left. Everything indicated that she was. He breathed a sigh of relief. But as he left the terminal, he had an unpleasant surprise. Where had his friend gone? He was all alone at 2AM. Well...

- I can't believe that asshole just left me here! - Enzo complained, before giving a shout. - Vini!

Still, it could be worse.