《Star War》Chapter 17

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Tama looked at one of the restaurant televisions.

“Guys, look!” she said, pointing to it.

“Hello Galaxy. I mean Universe. Uh, can we do a do over? Hello Universe!” said General Var on the screen, adjusting her had to fit better on her head tails. “It is I, General Var, financial advisor to the Suzerainty and commander of the Super TroopersTM. I have a very important broadcast that needs to be made. A new tax law has been imposed on force sensitive individuals. The force is a mystical thing that some individuals possess which makes them be able to do witchcraft. These people are being taxed 500x what they would if they were normal. It is only for our own protection. No force sensitive person should be able to have that much power.”

“This is a load of BS, Var is force sensitive herself,” muttered Vori. Tama shushed her.

“Hi, I’m Private Leeta,” said Leeta, joining the screen in a monotonous voice. “I’m here to report on the destruction of the planet Earth. As an order issued by Darth Vaita herself, the decision to destroy Earth was for the better. Not only is there more chance of colonizing the other planets in their solar system, it is rumored that professional jedi fugitive Karis Par is from there. Who knows how many other jedi they could be training. Back to you General.”

“They blew up Earth!” Karis yelled.

“Can’t get enough of Earth? Try new Earth Dust, dust from the destruction of Earth that you can smoke. It is 15% safe to use, and costs 1.5% less than it used to. What a steal,” said General Var unenthusiastically. “It Earth Dust isn’t enough, try Premium Earth Dust. This is Earth Dust that has been filtered through for any non bio substances that might be present in it. What a great way to breathe in the blood of your enemies!” General Var halfheartedly held a thumbs up as the background behind her started to change colors.

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“Don’t forget the jedi slayer kit for the little ones. A personalized small tranq gun loaded with force neutralized safe for consumption. It provides great practice and protection in case you spot a jedi in the wild. It comes in ravishing colors such as “red blood of slain jedi” and “faulty mentor purple.”” said Private Leeta. Vori felt Leeta’s eyes burn through her head through the screen.

“Are we done?” General Var asked, looking slightly away from the screen. She suddenly straightened her posture. “All hail the Suzerainty!” She stayed still for a few moments before collapsing into her lounge chair. She grabbed an orange-like fruit with her feet and started peeling it. Private Leeta rushed over and whispered something into her ear. Mortified, Var reached her hand out at the camera and the screen soon turned black.

“Could our day possibly get any worse?” groaned Karis, not knowing what they were in for next.

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