Chapter 7: The Queen / Faith And Devotion. I Happily Give My Life For My Sins

Evan went to go grab the king. The queen was in the room, questioning the king, having been told the situation by the tiny prince.

“You WHAT?” The queen asked

“Ack.” The king said

“Uh oh.” Evan said

“Uh oh? What uh oh. Is there more to worry about?” The king asked

"Well, Livvy said to come to the lady saints room." Evan said,

"What a weird servant. So calm and casual around us. Interesting." The queen said

The king flinched

"Le-Let's just go to Livvy, okay?" The king said nervously

They walked towards Hollys' room.

“Yeah, uh, I’m just gonna hide over here, ok? Ok.” Evan said, slipping around a corner and out of sight

The queen opened the door to the both of them on the bed.

They enacted their devious scheme, thinking it was the king

She started screaming and roaring, like g*dzilla. Understandably.

“Wait, mom! It was a joke! I was trying to get back at dad!” Livvy said

The queen ignored her

“Alright, you old bastard, who is the bastard who did this?” The queen asked, holding the king up by the collar, the rest of his body slack on the ground out of fear.

“God.” The king said, cowering

“God my ASS! Where is he!” The queen asked

“He was the one that ran around the corner and disappeared.” The king said, cowering

He pointed to the corner

“Alright. Got it. I’ll be…. right back.” The queen said, furious.

She walked behind the corner and immediately back, holding an Evan by the shirt like a cat that tried to escape and squirmed in her grip, her dress slightly damaged from the pursuit

“So… it was… this boy? I see. I guess I understand, then. If he’s my type then he’s probably going to be my daughter's type, too. I thought she was being forced.” The queen said, panting from chasing Evan so far so fast

“Then can you put me down?” Evan asked

“Nope. I’m executing you.” The queen said, dragging a finger across her neck

“Well, I can’t have that.” Evan said teleporting to the door

“Huh? Um. That was…. honey, who did you say that was?” The queen asked, sweating slightly

Her face looked extremely nervous

“G-God, dear. He’s god.” The king said

“Oh. I..... think I made a terrible mistake. Did I just tell god that I was going to execute him? Please tell me I’m dreaming. If I did that to someone we owe this much to, I think I might kill myself out of guilt.” The queen said, horrified

“It… was god.” The king said, closing his eyes with regret

“Yes yes, hallo! I’m god, nice ta meetchya!” Evan said, posing

“So… I did. Well, then. Bye everyone.” The queen said, smiling

She broke a nearby vase, and picked up one of the shards, immediately driving it into her neck.

Or, at least, she tried to.

“Woah woah woah! Jeez! Your faith in me is way too much. Stop it. You only talked to me a little bit.” Evan said, stopping her

“But what if you were in one of your weakened states?! We actually could have killed you! Of course I would rather die!” The queen said

“Holly would never let that happen.” Evan said, frowning

“That’s… true.” The queen conceded

“Now, don’t be so reckless next time. Let me see your hand. Yeah, look! It’s bleeding. That’s not good!” Evan said, healing her hand

“Oh, my. That feels quite nice.” The queen said

“.....Speaking of that, your husband threw extra small condoms at me. Well, at Livvy. You guys realize that wouldn’t fit, right? So there’s no way those would actually be full. Just… letting you know. Also, um. Sorry. Must be kinda rough.” Evan said, patting the king on the back

“Ouch. Pitied by even god.” Holly said

“Yeah… it is a bit… well, it’s fine.” The queen said

“Really? Well, I’ll give you this, try it out maybe?” Evan said, throwing the queen a box

“Huh? OH!! I’m pretty sure I will. Thanks!!!” The queen grinned, dragging a confused king away

“And that got rid of them for….. let’s see… the kit is supposed to last around four hours each use, so at least that long. Ugh. I have a headache. Why does this always happen when I appear? Livvy, how chaotic would the wedding be if it was public?” Evan asked

“That doesn’t matter. It’s required by law for any saint's marriage to be made a public event.” Livvy said

“Well….wait, she isn’t a saint, she’s the lady Saint, right?” Evan asked

“I thought that for a second, too, but it includes an or above bit. So to be officially recognized, it has to go through the church first, and then it’s publicized. With photos. After that, it’s prepared for, and then you guys have your wedding.” Livvy said

“I already let the church know! They have the pictures, too.” Holly said happily

They both stared at her