Five more days later…

“No,” Po states presumptuously as he forces Willy back on the ship with one hand; deterring him away from joining their party. “This is our problem, alone, and we don’t want to drag anyone else into it.”

“What are you talking about?” Willy, looking rather defeated and confused, gazes at Little R and Takeshi preparing their gear for a long adventure away from the Friendship. “Just standing around you three probably cursed us all if you want to make any assumption.” Willy begins to get riled up, but is quelled when Takeshi slowly walks up to the angrily shaking Willy and rests a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Willy,” Takeshi begins with a soft yet stern voice. “We don’t want you to come with us because we need strong leaders on this ship at all times.” Takeshi pulls Willy in closer and forces his gaze over to Leon, whom is happily playing cards with Big Bill, Sodomy Sammy, Jim, Helga, and Bigger Bill; yet he is obviously losing. But nothing could stop that boyish smile from having a good time. “You see, Willy?” Takeshi begins as they both look on at Leon and others play games. “Leon cannot run this ship without you. You got to promise me you’ll take care of this ship if we don’t return from our battle.” Willy scratches his black hair as he begins to groan abhorrently.

“Hmm, fine. But promise me you’ll at least come back.”

“You know I can’t promise anything.”

“I guess that much can be said.” Willy looks down with a somber tone, but it quickly dissipates as he looks directly into Takeshi, Po, and R’s eyes to state, “Don’t worry, guys. I’ll take care of everyone on the ship while you’re away.”

“That’s the spirit.” Takeshi gives a hardy thumbs up to Willy, in which Willy, Po, and R do the same.

“Take cares Willy.” Po states as he walks away casually and waves goodbye.

“Willy…um…” R says nothing more, but instead smiles in a coy manner and then turns around to quickly catch up with Po.

“Attention ship officers and crew.” Takeshi squelches his voice to ring loud and clear. The crew perks up and quickly shuffles over towards the pot side of the ship to see off the three.

“As this might be the last time I see all of you, I name Willy the new captain in case of unfortunate events occur.”

“What are you saying captain?” Big Bill says with concern.

“Don’t worry Big Bill; it’s just a precautionary measure.” Takeshi gestures a wave as he closes his eyes, before turning to face a weeping Leon. Takeshi smiles and crosses his arms. “Leon, I’ll see you soon. Don’t you worry Beef.”

“Leon sad.” Leon grabs Takeshi by the shoulder and brings him in for the usual death hug. Takeshi grunts in discomfort.

“Hm, ok, big guy. That’s enough.” Takeshi says with bated breath as Leon sets him down to take a moment to look at everyone in the crew.

“Take care, you crazy bastard.” Jim adds in as he sits on the port side rails while licking his palms and flicking his tail.

“You too, Jim; and thanks for the weapons.”

“No need to thank me. I think the exchange of me joining your crazy crew for those weapons was worthy enough, in my humble opinion.” Takeshi stares gleefully at Jim before he quickly goes into a sprint to catch up with Little R and Po as they head over to the mayor’s capital building towards the center of the town of Hanakiki.

The town is not its usual bustling and lively place as it once was before. Now there are whispers of an approaching hydra heading towards the city beings spread by travelers and travelling businesses. Hushed tones and the clomping of shoes on the stone and dirt roadways are so silent that even the gentle breeze seems to muffle their sounds. The sunny day seems to do little for the townsfolk as they shuffle down the streets with panicked faces of dread and despair.

“Po,” Takeshi begins with a tap on Po’s shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Does this town seem…different?”

“Yeah, it’s less noisy. I kind of like it.”

“Eh, it’s ok. Wait, where did Little R go off to?”

“Who knows…Wait,” Po slaps an extended arm onto Takeshi’s chest to halt his forward progress.

“What?” Takeshi asks as he begins to look at what Po is staring at. “Oh.” Takeshi’s expression changes to indifference as they both stare at a very large and decorated marble building with two large gargoyles standing on the two giant entrance columns leading up to a set of two bronze doors. An embossed sign above the doors reads, in fanciful lettering, ‘Hanakiki Town Hall.’ The two, without further hesitation, quickly walk up the marble staircase and open the two giant bronze doors. Tapestries decorate the sides of the foyer as they hang along sets of columns leading up to a large brass table with a humanoid staring back at them. As they approach the desk, they notice the woman glaring nonplussed at the two. She rests an elbow on the table and puts her hand under her chin before beginning the conversation. Her pale skin and pointed ears jutting out of her long black hair seems to point out that she is a Dark-Elf from the Rukshana swamplands.

“May I help you two?”

“Um, we were wondering if the mayor of this town could speak with us.” Po says as Takeshi stares back at two large men holding halberds on either side of the large foyer. An isolated cloud drifts in front of the sun, blocking the light being shone in from the glass roof above them. The woman smiles plainly as she rest her other hand under her chin and sits up straight. Her golden eyes seem to light up as she begins again.

“You are speaking to her.”

“Oh,” Po says with little surprise in his voice. “Well, we are two wanderers looking for a dragon slayer to aid us in our quest to kill the hydra approaching your fair town.”

“Ah, yes.” The woman begins to brush her long black hair with her hand as she cracks a coy look. “Good ol’ Philip the Dragonslayer. Yes he’s around; kind of pushing it in age, but he’s around. You two have quite the quest on your hands, though.”

“Where can we find this man?” Takeshi says as he puts his arms akimbo to his body. The woman pauses briefly as she stares coldly at Takeshi and rests her palms on the large brass desk.

“You’ll find him training in a cave, aptly called the Dragon’s Den; one of the largest caverns in the West. He is right next to the waterfall, so you shouldn’t have too much trouble finding him.”

“So,” Takeshi begins as he leans on the desk and stares amorously at the mayor’s uninterested golden eyes. The two large guards point their halberds at Takeshi, whom doesn’t seemed phased by the two; somehow peaking the interest of the mayor as she looks at Takeshi and Po, whom also seems unfazed by the guards. “What’s your name?” Takeshi says with a raised brow. The woman pauses as she cracks that same coy smile and crosses her hands.

“I am Mayor Gwyndolin. You boys are the real deal if you’re unfazed by my guards.” She waves he hand up in the air to signal her guards to stand aside. The two guards smash their halberds on the ground and stand attentively as they continue to watch Takeshi and Po like a hawk stalking its prey. “You see the truth is: The staircase leading down to the cavern floor is a long journey, so you two might want to prepare for such.”

“Nevermind that,” Takeshi says as he leans in closer. “Are you doing anything after we slay the dragon?”

“I’ll tell you what I’m not doing: seeing you anytime soon.” Takeshi, with shock in his eyes, seems to deflate as he slumps down on the ground and sighs.

“Heh, burn.” Po says with the usual bearded smile as he moves around his arms under his long brown robe sleeves.

“Oh, shut up, you fuck.” Takeshi says as he gets back on his feet and stands with arms crossed in dissatisfaction.

“You two better get rid of this hydra before it reaches my town. I would also like to know your names, for the record books.”

“I’m Takeshi.”

“I’m Po.” Mayor Gwyn looks at the two for a few seconds before beginning again.

“I want your word that you two will save my town from destruction at the hands of the hydra.”

“Don’t worry, Gwyn. We’ve got this.” Takeshi says with a snarky tone as he straightens up. Gwyn promptly stands up out of her brass chair and walks over to Takeshi. She begins to grab his chin and squeezes his cheeks softly. They both glare at each other with killing intent before Gwyn breaks the silence.

“Um,” Po says beforehand as he looks at the two troublingly.

“Don’t let me down, Takeshi the ninja.” She smiles coyly again.

“Wait, you know what a ni-”

*Slap*

“Ow.” Takeshi rubs his cheek after receiving a hardy slap from Gwyn. Takeshi looks on as she shuffles back over to her seat and sits back down.

“Now, go.” Gwyn says as she points to the bronze entrance doors. Takeshi and Po quickly leave and search for the so called Dragon’s Den in hopes of stopping their nemesis: the hydra.

A few hours later…

“Uh, where are we, Po?” Takeshi asks as the two wander around the island forests of the Seafaring Nations. The dense forest seems to block out the afternoon sun as well as the ground below.

*Crunch*

The dried up, dead leaves crackle at their feet while they continue their unknown journey; Po holds a map up close to his face, as Takeshi kills time stepping on the leaves.

*Crunch**Crunch*

“Would you stop that nonsense?” Po angrily states without taking his gaze off of the map.

“What, I’m just trying to pass the time.” Takeshi says as he gently slaps Po’s shoulder in a playful manner.

“Look, I’m serious.” Po stops and begins to lecture Takeshi as he shakes a fist at him. “We’re going to eventually run into a dragon slayer, so what are the odds of him setting traps to his known location?”

“Very, very likely.” Takeshi says in halfhearted agreement while staring at the ground intently.

“Ok, good, you understand.” Po begins to continue walking as he begins again. “Now keep an eye out for any-ahhh.” Po, without further hesitation, falls to the ground and is then hoisted up into the air by a rope bound to his feet. He begins to drift slowly side to side a few feet off the ground as Takeshi crouches down to meet him at eye level.

“I found a trap, P.” Takeshi snickers as he pulls out a throwing knife and stands back up.

“Hahaha, how about a little less sarcasm and just cut me dow-”

*Thud*

“Ow.” Po quickly rolls over and begins to rub the nape of his neck. He stands up quickly as Takeshi doesn’t say a word, but crosses his arms as he stares at Po’s beard. Po begins picking out the leaves from his beard, before Takeshi begins again.

“You know what that means, right, Po?” Po’s exasperated sigh belts out as he begins to shake his head in reluctant agreement.

“Yeah, it means he’s close by. Let’s just continue walking where the map marker is. It should be only a Ching-Ching or two away now.

“So, five thousand feet? I forget the conversion.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But we really need to stop buying maps in Demon languages.”

“Hey, that’s all they had at the shop. Every other language was sold out because everyone is trying to flee the town.”

“I know, I know. To be fair, the Demon maps are oddly more detailed. I mean look at this: who else, other than Demons, would want to know that there is a place to sharpen your horns in the middle of the woods?”

“Po, you see that?” Takeshi stops in place and points to a very obvious cave entrance about fifty feet tall jutting out of a giant cliff face.

“Whoa,” Po says astonished by the sheer size of the entrance. “That’s a big ass entrance.”

“You could say that again.” Takeshi states as he slowly approaches the entrance. Po soon follows alongside him. They both approach the intimidating cavern entrance and gaze into the darkness within. The first few steps of the large wooden staircase are seen at the base, but disappear within a few feet in the cave. The two stare blankly into the unknown until Takeshi asks a peculiar question.

“So, how far do these stairs go down?”

“I-I don’t know. Oh wait,” Po hatches an idea as he begins to prepare a quick spell while forming a ball with his hands. “I’ll send a ball of light straight down, and we’ll see how far it goes.”

“Ooh, that’s a good idea. Do it.” Takeshi eagerly waits for Po to finish conjuring the ball of light. Within a few seconds a blinding glow shoots out between the crevices of Po’s fingers and holds it in place as it grows brighter. After a few seconds, Po pushes his arms towards the cavern opening and they both watch as a bright white ball of light begins to slowly make its descent down the staircase. A few seconds pass, and the ball of light seems to be unimpeded by anything as it continues its journey. After a few minutes, the ball’s light begins to become faded into obscurity by the shadows of the deep cavern until it becomes engulfed completely.

“So,” Takeshi begins as they both continue to scratch their heads and question. “I guess it’s gonna be a long journey.”

“I guess so.” Po says as he begins to take a hesitant step forward; with Takeshi soon following beside him as they head into the dark abyss of the cave. Takeshi pulls his sword out as the light begins to reveal the stairs before them, but only for a few tens of feet, as it is swallowed by the darkness any further than that. They begin their descent as they become dazed by the sheer distance the cavern covers as they hear the very distant sound of a waterfall.

“You hear that?” Takeshi whispers to Po, whom begins to nod in agreement.

“Yeah, I think it’s a waterfall.”

“No, not that. That, down there.” Takeshi points his glowing katana at a few very strange, naked goblins as they moan in discomfort at the light of his sword.

“Oo~stop” One of the goblins begins to squelch his voice in the Uncommon language while attempting to focus his eyes at the two standing ten steps above them. Their pale skin seems to almost reflect the light shining upon them.

“Uh,” Takeshi begins as they both continue to walk down the stairs. The slithering sounds of their unused voices seem to whisper loudly out to the two.

“Kill…me.” One whispers before they gain enough distance between them.

“Woo, we’re in for a rough descent.” Po begins as he slaps a hand on his shoulder while being attentive to his foot placement.

“We have to press on, Po. Cause, no one else will. I mean look at this shit.” Takeshi points down at the stairs which descend and disappear into the darkness below.

“Yeah, but how long could the Dragon’s Den staircase be?” Po inquires.

Six hours later…

“Ahh~!” Takeshi begins to freak out as he holds both hands up to his ears without dropping his katana, which continues to glow unabated.

“What?” Po asks with a startled stance and gaze. Takeshi stops and begins to sit down on one set of the stairs. He gently puts down his katana and begins to rub his head and cover his face while exhaling loudly.

“I just had to get that out.” Takeshi states after a brief moment of bated breath.

“You’re not enjoying this are you?” Po begins to ask as he sits next to Takeshi and rests a hand on his shoulder.

“Mmm, no.” Takeshi looks up at the stalactite covered ceiling and then stares down into the abyss of the ceaseless cavern. The faint sound of the distant waterfall gently sooths as it drones on. “I know I’m not the most patient man, but…good fuck. This is a long set of stairs.”

“I know how you feel, T.” It’s starting to get to me too.” Po finishes as he wipes the sweat of his brow and straightens his rustled beard as he begins to sit down beside Takeshi. “But it’s like you said before: We gotta press on, ‘cause no one else will.” Takeshi looks up at Po, with his glowing katana gently glowing at his feet, as he too wipes the sweat off his brow. He takes a moment to stare at the ground before jolting back up with a balled up fist of determination.

“You’re right, we gotta press on. We have to save the island from what we’ve created.”

“Yeah.” Po pumps a closed fist up in the air and stands back up in celebration of Takeshi’s words.

“We gotta finish what we’ve started.”

“Yeah.”

“We gotta show the world how big our balls are.”

“Yea-no.” Po lowers his fist with a grin of misperception.

“We gotta shove our dicks in their faces.”

“Uh,”

“We gotta show Pugh-Pugh where to shove it.”

“Uh oh.” Po begins as they both begin to feel a distant quake quickly approaching them. The stair case begins to shift violently and forces Po to slip off the edge. Takeshi quickly grabs Po by his chest length, brown beard and pulls him back onto the staircase. The violent quaking begins to subside while Po begins the conversation again.

“What the fuck, T?”

“What?” Takeshi shouts perplexed as they stand back up.

“You know exactly what: why did you pull my beard?”

“Oh, that. I thought you were gonna ask about the qua-“ Before Takeshi could finish his sentence, a large stalactite breaks off, making a loud snapping noise, and plummets into the vulnerable wooden stairs a few sets above the two. The stalactite pierces through the old wood and causes a large chunk of the staircase to begin a slow yet very precipitous descent into the darkness below them. They both watch as their only way out is sealed off by the stair case falling apart. Po looks at Takeshi with consternation.

“What?” Takeshi begins as they both continue their descent down into the darkness. Takeshi holds up his sword away from Po to view the steps below. “I’d say that’s the most generous these rifts have been to use so far.” Po raises a hand to retort with furious anger, but loses the words as he realizes the truth behind the words.

“You know what; I’ll let it go this time. Cause we’ve got more important matters at hand.”

“I agree, Po. Putting the lives of the town’s people before a small inconvenience is a very good way to look at it.”

“We’ll,” Po grabs a hold of Takeshi’s shoulder as he continues to stare into the darkness, forcing Takeshi to look in his general direction as well. “I was actually talking about that.”

“Oh.” Takeshi says with and estranged look in his eyes as he holds his katana closer to the insurmountable amount of Goblins blocking the descent downwards. “I guess it still could be worse.”

“Yeah,” Po pauses as they begins to step and squish their way through a large pile of grossly shiny, naked Goblins moaning in pain. “But how much longer does this staircase go?”

Four hours later…

“We’ve made it, finally.” Po shouts as they stare at the solid rock ground of the very bottom of the stairs. The heat begins to overtake them as they sit down on the steps for a breather.

“That was ridiculous.” Takeshi exclaims as he rests his katana on the step below him.

“Yeah, tell me about it. I hope we don’t have to do that again.” Po says with the same unenthusiastic attitude.

*Grumble**Grumble*

The two look at each other with slight grins as their stomachs begin to grumble in distress.

“We’ll, we both knew this would happen. What do we do about food?” Po inquires as they both begin to check their bags and bandolier pockets for any scraps. As their pockets turn up empty, Takeshi strikes an interesting proposition.

“Why don’t we eat those Goblins a few hours up the stairs?”

“Uh, I guess,” Po begins uneasily. “But wouldn’t that taste disgusting?”

“It’s better than starving to death.”

“Well, why don’t we see what’s at the bottom?”

“Ok.” Takeshi grabs his glowing katana as they both stand back up and finish their penultimate steps down the stairs. Until they run into a strange problem as the ground begins to move and turn.

“What the-” Takeshi exclaims as he holds his katana with both hands while approaching the moving figure. The moving figure turns into a mass of moving black snakes slithering around the bottom of the stairs. The hissing and spitting gets louder as they get within striking distance of the snakes.

*Hiss*

Po and Takeshi both flinch at a snake snapping at their feet. They both take a few steps back before beginning a conversation again.

“So,” Takeshi begins. “Do those Goblins sound pretty good to you right now? I know you don’t like snakes, so don’t play coy with me.”

“Ok, ok.” Po says as he holds his hands up in retort. “Let’s go get some Goblin.”

“Good,” Takeshi states as they both begin to walk back up the stairs again. “It’ll only take a few hours, so it’ll be worth it.”

Eight hours later…

“How do you like you Goblin cooked?” Takeshi asks as he holds two large chunks of silvery meat in both hands. They continues their descent back down to the snakes.

“Cooked.”

“Sounds good.” Takeshi begins as his hands burst into flames, the flames finely cook the strange and almost gelatinous meat, until the flames grow an enormous size.

“Shit.” Takeshi says as he attempts to dissipate the flames. The fire rapidly builds up into two raging ten foot pillars of fire, before slowly drifting down and receding back into his palms. With the fire gone, all that Takeshi is left with are two handfuls of ash.

“Great job.” Po says with a sarcastic tone with his arms crossed. His mood quickly changes as he watches Takeshi throw the ashes over the edge of the large staircase. “Oh, why don’t you burn them?”

“Oh.” Takeshi quickly sprints down the stairs, almost tripping as he attempts to skip over a few to descend faster. He stops just a few feet above the swirling mass of black snakes as they began to hiss and drown out the distant waterfall splashes. He begins to prepare a blast of fire as he cups his hand. But after a minute of trying, he gets nothing but smoke. “Shit, look like I’m still not skilled enough yet.”

“Hmm,” Po ponders as he begins to vigorously stroke his beard for the answers. Takeshi dodges an incoming snake and takes a few steps back; but he notices something strange about the snakes.

“Hey, Po.”

“Yeah?”

“Come down here.” Takeshi waves to Po without taking his eyes of the snakes. Po lifts up his robes and quickly walks down the steps to stand next to Takeshi, whom is still fixated on the snakes.

“You see something?” Po asks intrigued by Takeshi’s persistent stare.

“Yes,” he points slowly at the pile of snakes. “What do you see when I shine my sword at them?”

“Black snakes, why?”

“Look closer.” Po scratches his head as he squints for a second look.

“They, kind of look like dicks.”

“No, smart ass; they are made of rubber.” They both stand in silence as Takeshi waits for an answer.

“How do you know?”

“I’ll grab one and show you.” Takeshi quickly descends a few steps down and begins to crouch while holding up his sword with one hand.

*Hiss*

The hissing grows louder as he begins to move his free hand forward. Then, suddenly, a snake darts at Takeshi, but he manages to grab it by the neck as it spits at him inches away from his masked face.

“Nice catch.”

“Not really, look.” Takeshi turns around to reveal that he caught nothing but a slender, burnt stick. He snaps the twig with one hand as he turns back around to look beyond the snakes.

“So, that means it’s just an illusion.”

“Right you are, P.” Takeshi squints a little harder as he begins to shout, “Ok Philip, you can stop with the games now. We can see through your trickery.” Takeshi’s message echoes back and forth until dissipating completely; leaving nothing but the silence of a giant dark cavern, and the gentle splashes of the distant waterfall. The snakes begin to stop hissing and lay still on the cold, dark ground. After a moment, the snakes begin to disappear into the ground and a faded glow of a lamp light appears a couple hundred feet away.

“You boys are good. Not like most of those fools at the surface.” A cacophonous sound burst through the giant cavern as the light steadily approaches and glows brighter. Both Po and Takeshi stare at each other briefly before glancing back at the ever growing, glowing light. Po squints as he begins to speak loudly towards the unknown figure approaching.

“Are you Philip?” Po shouts.

“Nay, I am not he, but I do know where Philip is training.”

“Can you lead us to him? We are in dire need of his assistance.” Takeshi holds up his glowing katana as the figure begins to come into the blades light. A tall, yet strong man appears from the shadows as he strokes his short white beard. His clothes, tattered a worn, seem to be soaked from head to toe.

“I am Philip’s brother, Bobby.” The man smiles with a glow of his own sprouting from his facial hair. He then intently stares down the two as he gauges them for further analysis. “Hmm, a druid and a rogue; you don’t see that kind of company every day.”

“I’m a Ni-“

“So what seems to be going on at the surface that they had to send two adventurers to find my brother?”

“Well,” Po begins hesitantly. “There is a giant hydra approaching Hanakiki, and it plans to destroy the town, along with everything else on the island.”

“Uh huh,” Bobby scratches his beard and contemplates. “Not the strangest thing I’ve heard. Sure I’ll guide you to my brother.”

“Wait, not the strangest, then what is?” Takeshi asks as he lowers his sword and rubs the nape of his neck.

“Well, this one time at the Four Floors of Whores in Turango, this dwarf-“

“Don’t say it.” Takeshi and Po both interrupt as they extend their hands out and gesture to stop.

“What?” Bobby asks while tightening his drawstring on his pants. Takeshi and Po both look at each other with indifference and say simultaneously,

“You don’t wanna know.”

“Just take us to Philip; this hydra is coming any day now.” Po says in a terse and exhausted tone.

“Ok, ok. Follow me.” Bobby then waves the two to follow as he rises up his lit lantern and walk towards the waterfall. Takeshi and Po both walk behind Bobby and take a gander at the overwhelmingly large cavern that seems to never end. The tremendous size of the cavern becomes almost daunting to our intrepid heroes. Takeshi waves his glowing katana around to the ground and all around to witness, along with Po, the strange glassy black rock blanketing the ground in a veil of darkness. The giant stalagmites, towering over head, hug the walls as the rest seem to have been chopped down with a clean sweep of a giant’s sword. The trickling of water from far above echo and become dissonant as they approach the edge of the largest waterfall Takeshi and Po had ever seen.

“Woah.” Po says astonished as a faint glow begins to pulsate from the waterfall, revealing its enormous size. A very large lake, about a mile in length, stands between them and the bottom of the waterfall while the waves crash into the smoothed and grooved igneous rocks. Takeshi says nothing, but instead marvels at the waterfall; noticing a faint blue light from within the waterfall as the crashing waves refracts the intense blue glow.

“Is that Philip?” Takeshi asks Bobby as he points with his sword.

“Why, yes it is.” Bobby says without hesitation as he begins to ferociously scratch his white beard.

“Philip.” Takeshi shouts, but the only answer he receives back is his distant echo and the overwhelming current of the waterfall drowning everything out.

“He can’t hear you with that tone. You gotta do the call.” Bobby states as he turns to the two.

“The call?” Po says as he scratches his beard as well. Without any further hesitation, bobby turns to the waterfall and slowly forms a circle with his hand around his mouth as he makes a very cacophonous call.

“Whoop, Whoop!”

The large echoes race back and forth as they bounce off the cavern walls and waterfall. They all stand in silence as they await a return call.

“Whoop, Whoop!” a large and boisterous sound calls out to them from within the waterfall.

“Ah, good. He’s still there. We might have to wait awhile since he has to row across this lake.”

“How long, exactly?” Po asks with a perturbed look.

One hour later…

“You’ll have to excuse me; I’m not as spry as I once was.” Philips says with a slight panted breath as he begins to step of the small, dilapidated boat with a single paddle. He ties it off onto a large rock and turns to walk towards Takeshi and Po. The katana light reveals a rather old man with a very long white beard going down to his hips. In stature, he looks exactly the same as his brother, Bobby; a well-toned and muscled body draped by old and tattered clothes. Other than the wrinkles, the apparent sibling familiarity is quite surprising to Takeshi and Po.

“Wh-why, I mean, how are you two related?” Po asks with a flummoxed face. The two brothers look at each other with the same confused expression before answering his question.

“We’ll we both have different mothers, so I’m not part Elf, like Bobby is.” Philips says.

“Technically, I’m One hundred and fifty three; and Philip is ninety two.” Bobby adds. Takeshi and Po both look at each other confused, but are quickly dissipated from all thought as their concentration goes to their growling stomachs.

*Growl**Grumble*

“You boys hungry?” Philip asks as Takeshi and Po attempt to quell their empty stomachs with a gentle rubbing hand. “My wife is making a pretty mean Goblin loaf back at home. Come on, why don’t you join us and we can discuss whatever circumstance you came down here for.”

“Ok.” Takeshi and Po simultaneously say as they follow Bobby and Philip back to their humble abode. They began to walk alongside one another for a couple hundred feet before they are stopped by a strange noise coming from the apex of the stairs.

“Ahhhhhh!”

The shout from an unknown person I heard as the four of them stop in place and listen to the noise until it becomes drowned out by the loud crashing waves of the waterfall.

“What the Pugh was that?” Po says out of reflex. “Uh oh.” The earth begins to quake violently forcing stalactites to fall from what seems like miles above. Quickly reacting, Takeshi and Po attempt to quell the angered god by a small chant of forgiveness as they clasp their hands together above their heads.

“Oh, please Pugh-Pugh, please spare us. Oh, fuck. Please forgive us Pugh-Pugh.” The earth below begins to subdue the quakes as everything goes back to normal and the shaking stops. Bobby and Philip both scratch their heads with worrying looks as they maintain their balance and stare at Takeshi and Po, whom break their clasped hands and return to their normal walking strides as if nothing had happened. They both look behind as Bobby and Philip are still in their shocked expressions.

“What?” Takeshi says with an annoyed look in his eyes.

“We can explain that when we get to your house.” Po says as he continues walking; the others soon follow alongside and eventually reach Philip’s house on the other side of the cavern, next to the stairs. The four sit down to dinner as the nonplussed wife of Philip’s prepares and cooks a meal for them and sits down to eat along with them. Takeshi and Po began explaining their current situation; along with all other factors that lead up to their ability to start earthquakes just from mentioning Pugh-Pugh.

“Wow,” a surprised Philip says as both he and Bobby look on at Takeshi and Po.

“Yeah, you might not believe it, but it-“

“No, I believe you.” Philip says as he interrupts Po abruptly, and then takes a hardy sip of a flagon of ale. Po looks over at Takeshi, downing his drink, and then looks back over at Philip to inquire further.

“You…believe us?” Po says with a raised brow of skepticism.

“Yes, of course. I’ll show you why.” Philip stand up, but is quickly caught on the shoulder by the hand of Bobby.

“Wait, brother. Do you really want to trust them?” bobby asks with a slightly panicked look as he fixes his gazed upon the two. Takeshi and Po both exchange estranged looks at each other before Philip’s wife breaks the awkward silence.

“They basically know already, just show them.” She says with an indifferent look as she begins to lean back into the chair.

“Right.” Philip states with a sense of understanding as he gently takes Bobby’s hand off his sleeve and walks into a room next to the kitchen.

“So, you boys like card games?” Philip’s wife asks. Her deep purple eyes and graying hair seems to hide an unknown past as she stares at the two.

“Well we only know how to play Demon card games.” Po says as he places his fork on the table and stares embarrassingly at his empty plate.

“That’s ok, that’s basically the only card games we know as well.” She says with a hardy snort of laughter and a snarling smile which reveals a set of two sharp, pointed teeth.

“Wanna play?” Bobby questions as he gazes around at everyone’s empty plates.

“Sure, I can roll with that.” Takeshi says with a gleeful glint in his eye as he stacks his empty plate on top of Po’s. “Um, what is your name?” He asks awkwardly scratching the nape of his neck.

“Just call me Wanda.” She waves a limp hand at Takeshi as she instinctively pulls out a deck of cards from her large cleavage. She begins handing out the cards in an orderly fashion as Takeshi inquires another question.

“Um, did you just pull this out of your cleavage?”

“Yeah, got a problem?” Wanda says with an insidious look.

“Oh, no, maam.” Takeshi says quickly while putting his hand up passively.

“Good, I mean, it’s basically nature’s pocket.”

“You raise an astute point, Wanda.” Po says with a raised finger as she continues her card sorting. The cards began to pile up in front of each of them. Bobby rubs his face with a free hand as he gauges his first move.

“So, what about Philip?” Po asks.

“Oh, he’ll be back sometime later. He has to venture to his ‘secret study.’” Bobby says as he gesture quotations with his hands in a sarcastic manner.

“Oh, ok. So what are we playing? Belch, Warfare?” Takeshi asks.

“Stabber.” Wanda says with a quick tone without taking her eyes off her cards. “Ok, last one who’s pooped goes first.”

“That’ll be me.”

Four hours later…

“Ok, boys, I hope you’re ready to have your fleeting reality rocked.” Philip states with an indifferent tone to his voice as he throws a rather large, dilapidated, leather bound book onto the table; cards go flying all around the kitchen floor from the force.

“Damnit, Phil. We were playing Stabber.” Wanda shouts in disgust as she throws the remainder of her cards at the book.

“Sorry, sweetie, but you and I both know this is more important.” Philip says without changing his indifferent tone as he gazes at Wanda. Wanda frowns for a second and then sighs and nods her head in approval.

“Welp,” Wanda stands up quickly as she begins to talk while pushing in her chair and grabbing the dishes stacked in the corner of the table. “You boys take care.” She gives a hardy thumbs up as she places the plates onto another table and walks into what appears to be a study. Takeshi and Po both look at each other with widened eyes and are quickly taken back by Philip, whom begins the conversation again.

“You boys have stumbled into the reality of our world.”

“Uh, what do you mean?” Po inquires.

“See for yourselves.” Philip opens the large book to an unusual page with strange annotations written in multiple dialects. Illustrations of strange winged humanoids with circular crowns as they fly around an even more peculiar mountain with a giant rift going down it are depicted with heavy detail. Philip points to a passage of faded letters and begins again. “This right here perfectly explains what you boys are experiencing. It says, ‘With the death of the ruler of Mount Celestia, the Celestial Plane collapsed as the insidious Kenji Kusuragi took it over and destroyed the very fabric at which used to connect all planes of existence. With the help of Garren the Great and Eragon the Grand Sorcerer, the Planes were then reconnected using rifts and severed reconnections to Celestia as a means to entrap Kenji in a prison he has created for himself.’” Takeshi and Po both lean back from the book and stare blankly in silence.

“So, my grandfather wasn’t lying.” Takeshi murmurs.

“Planes?”

“Here it goes. I knew we shouldn’t have told them.” Bobby says as he goes back to crossing his arms and listening from his chair. Philip looks at him with an angered look before snapping back to the conversation at hand.

“Yes, Po; the Outer Planes aren’t just farfetched tales you’ve heard when you were kids. They are real, and there are ways to get to them.”

“Woah,” Po begins as he scratches and straightens his beard reaching down to his chest. “But, I was raised by wolves, so I never heard any of this.” He turns to Takeshi, whom looks away.

“Never mind that, shit. The point is that you boys angered one of the rulers and they are taking their anger out on you by causing rifts in time around you.”

“Who, Kenji? I don’t even know who he is.” Takeshi says with a confused look in his golden eyes.

“No, the one whom you have angered resides in the Beastlands Plane. You are already familiar with his name, which, you both have insisted, cannot be said by the likes of you and others that follow you.” Philip stops with a loud inhale and exhale. The stench of ale on his breath overtakes the smell of burning maple wood in the next room.

“So, why did you tell us this?” Takeshi asks after a brief silence. Before Philip is able to answer as he take another deep breath, he is interrupted by the front door slamming open and Little R pants violently as he stands at the door with his dripping wet black robes. He wipes his wet hair back as he begins with bated breath and his furry friends retreat to the warmth of the study room fireplace.

“Ew, who let these rats in? And a Cat too, what the fuck?” Wanda shouts from the other room.

*Merow*

“They’re just my pets. No reason to be alarmed.” R shouts as he closes the door behind him and walks over to the table where the rest look on as Takeshi quickly stands up and slaps a hand on the table.

“R, where the fuck have you been?”

“Oh, that’s not important. What is important is that I’ve figured out what’s causing the rifts.”

“Yeah, and so do we.” Po limply points to the large leather book as R begins to read through the page they’re on.

“Oh,” R begins again with a shrug of indifference. He pulls out an empty chair at the head of the table and sits down to join the conversation.

“So, what- I mean, why did you tell us this again?” Takeshi restarts with the same inquiry.

“Only you can fix this problem. If you don’t fix it, it could have repercussions for centuries to come. Anyone whom you come into contact will suffer a great and sick twist of fate brought by the hands of even more sick and twisted gods.”

“Oh, fuck.” Takeshi says as he and Po both stare with eyes wide open. “But, how do we get to said plane?” he begins to turn the page onto a passage which he spots a peculiar addition, in the form of a foot not made in the common language stuffed into the binding of the pages.

“You’ll have to figure that out on your own.” Bobby says angrily as he stands up abruptly and slams the book shut.

“What- Philip.” Takeshi says with an exacerbated tone and gestures an open palm towards Bobby.

“Sorry, Takeshi, but exploring the Outer Planes is something you have to learn on your own as an adventurer. Much like every other great adventurer before you has learned.” Philip says as he stands up straight and crosses his arms in agreement. Takeshi shrugs as he looks down into his hand, secretly looking at the piece he took from the book before bobby closed it shut.

“Ok, Philip. I guess for now we should focus on stopping that hydra from destroying Hanakiki then.” Takeshi begins with determination as he stands up with a balled up fist and that usual flare in his eyes.

“Right you are, Takeshi. Let’s go.” Philip excitedly states as he begins to walk out to the front door with the others quickly following behind.

“What we’re already leaving?” Little R says with dissatisfaction as he rings out water from his robes.

“We’ve been here for…at least a day, Little R.” Po says with an annoyed tone as he turns to R and flaps his brown robes in frustration.

“Oh,” R shrugs. “Ok, I indubitably apologize. I didn’t recognize. But does that mean we have to go back up the stairs? I’m not necessarily cut out for extended periods of athleticism.” R rubs his arms anxiously as Wanda begins to shout at the group.

“Don’t forget to take your fuckin’ pets.” She says in an angry voice before nonchalantly changing into a more cheery tone as she begins again. “You boys stay safe now, you here?” Little R’s two rats and his cat, Rocco, quickly climb back into his long robe sleeves. They all exit the house carved out of the side of the cavern and are quickly greeted by the eerie silence of R’s little girl. Her black eyes and ghostly appearance are draped by her long black hair as she startles everyone in the group.

“Oh, come on, R.” Takeshi shouts with displeasure as he turns to him.

“What?”

“Why the fuck do you have a creepy small child following you?” silence falls as R attempts to explain with a hesitant voice.

“Oh, um, well, you see the thing is, uhm…hehe.” Takeshi breaks his angered stare as he rolls his eyes and begins to walk away in long strides.

“Was it something I said?” R questions as he shouts at the group which walks ahead of him.

Six hours later…

“Ugh, why is this cavern so gigantic?” R asks with bated breath.

“Because it was once a dragon’s lair, you dumbass.” Bobby answers with a terse tone as he continues to hold a torch with one hand while walking with the rest of the group in unison up the stairs.

“Hey, I didn’t ask for your incessant bickering.” R retorts back with an even more terse tone. The two stop and lock eyes stricken with antipathy before being quickly dissipated by Philip and Takeshi shouting from a few steps above the group as they both hold up their torch and katana respectively.

“Uh, we might have a problem.” Philip shouts.

“Yeah, that’s a big as hole.” Takeshi adds in as they both stare at the giant gap in the stairwell p and himself have created.

“Wha-” Philip begins with utter shock as he takes a step closer to the edge. “What’s the meaning of this shit?” Philip pauses as if he was waiting for an answer from the group.

“Pfft, I dunno.” Takeshi says as he looks up at the stalactites above. Po begins to tap his foot; with bobby and Little R scratching their heads in confusion.

“Well, shit.” Philip says with discontentment, the light of his torch seems to shake vigorously and then stop within an instant as he begins again. “Great, I guess we have to jump it.”

“Not, exactly.” Takeshi steps forward as he reaches into his bandolier and pulls out a thickly wound rope and a hook the size of a fist tied to the end of it. “I’ll just throw this over.” Takeshi quickly starts to swing the rope around in a circle before letting it lose. The group watches as it sails to the other side and smacks into the boards above. With a quick tug, the hook latches onto the last step on the top half of the stairs. “There.”

He begins to tie the other end to the last step on the bottom half and standing up proudly as he dusts off his hands.

“What did that solve?” Bobby asks. Takeshi raises a brow at him with confusion.

“Wha- we walk across. What else could the intended purpose be?”

“We’ll I dunno maybe some of us aren’t as agile as you young ones are. Did you think of that?” bobby says with a stern face and a shaking fist. Takeshi raises a finger in retort, but is quickly grabbed by Little R, whom breaks the tension with a statement.

“Well, why don’t we try?” The group looks at R whom begins again after grabbing everyone’s attention. “If we can’t cross this obstacle, who’s to say that well be able to stand up to a dragon?” R finishes as he lowers his arm and stares back at the group gawking at him. Bobby sighs loudly as he leans back in disgust.

“Uh, fine. The lanky weirdo is right.”

“Hey,”

“Listen,” Bobby interrupts R before he could retort again. “ we need to decide on who goes first; I vote Little r since he is the once that convinced me to do this crazy obstacle.” Bobby points nonchalantly at Little R, whom is taken back.

“What? Why me?” He looks around as everyone points at him. He gulps loudly and gazes down to his little girl whom is tugging on his robe. He leans down and props the creepy black eyed girl onto his back as she clings her arms around his neck. He takes a few steps forward to look over the edge and hesitates by looking back at the group. Takeshi and Po give him a hardy thumbs up; and Philip and Bobby look on with indifference. He looks back down at the rope, almost disappearing from the blackness of the void below. He slowly takes his first few steps out and the rope begins to bend and sway under the pressure.

“Woah,” R says as he barely maintains his balance. Po stops smiling and turns to Takeshi whom is already in a stance to spring forward t the slightest sign of failure. R stops and hesitates again as he closes his eyes and looks back up at the stairwell ten feet away from him.

“Come on, R. you can do it.” Po shouts with an enthusiastic fist pump up into the air.

“Yeah, hurry up.” Bobby snickers and then Philip hardily nudges him in the stomach with his elbow. Little R look back to the abyss below as his vision starts to go black. His body loosens up for a second as he tries to catch himself, but is unable to. Little R’s foot slips out from under him, forcing his body to go sideways; Takeshi quickly begins to dash towards him and takes a flying leap off the stairs and lands on the rope, causing the stairwell above to creak loudly. Takeshi takes a few more strides on the rope before leaning down to catch Little R by the robe at the last second. Quickly thinking, Little R slaps his hand up against Takeshi’s hand as he desperately clings on.

“T!” Po shouts as he watches in horror, and attempts to cast a spell but stumbles over his shaky movements.

“Oh, shit.” Bobby says as he continues to watch with an agape jaw, along with a speechless Philip.

*Grunt*

“How much do you weigh, fat boy?” Takeshi says with a disgruntled look and one closed eye while hanging onto r’s hood and hand. Takeshi begins to slip off the rope gradually as R answers.

“One ten, you asshole.”

“Then what’s weighing you down?” Takeshi shouts, but then realizes a little girl slipping onto his boots. She doesn’t say a word as she begins to slowly drift down Little R’s boot, while looking up at the two with an unchanged, void expression on her face.

“No, don’t fall.” R attempts to reach out to her with a free hand, but she lets go of his boot and begins to freefall into the darkness below without a scream. The eerie silence of her fall leaves the others speechless.

“R~” Takeshi says with an elongated and exhausted tone. Little R look up as Takeshi is holding onto the rope by his feet as he clings to r with both hands.

“What, Takeshi?” R shouts with desperation.

“I hate you.” Takeshi quickly states as his feet slip from the rope and they both begin their descent into darkness as they fill the void around them with screams of terror.

“AAAHHHHHHhhhhhh…”

Takeshi and Little R both scream in unison while clinging to each other as they both disappear into the void below. They listen as the screams begin to disappear into the darkness with them and the long drones of the distant waterfall is the only thing heard. Po, Philip, and Bobby stand in silence for a bit before Bobby breaks the silence as he approaches the rope line.

“We’’, I’ll go next. I mean, how hard could it be?” bobby states with vanity. He begins to step onto the rope, adjusting his torch accordingly to the saying of the stiff and worn rope. Inching his way forward, he begins to sway violently but catches himself in time to jump onto the staircase above with ease.

“See? Easy.” Bobby says as he scoffs at Po and Philip. But his optimistic narcissism quickly disappears as he watches as Philip begins to struggle with his first step before he even has both feet on the rope.

“Damn, I’m a bit rusty.” Philips sighs with an annoyed tone as he begins to slowly balance his way up the rope toward bobby. Po watches in silence as he begins to sway.

“Come on, Phil; you can do it.” Bobby says in desperation as Philip begins to sway even more.

“Woah,” Philip begins to sway uncontrollably.

“Come on, jump Philip. I’ll catch you.” Bobby shouts with a shocked look on his face as he drops his torch onto the wooden staircase. Po raises a concerned brow as he continues to watch from below.

“Here I go.” Philip shouts as he makes a flying leap towards bobby, but falls short and ends up smashing his head into one of the support beams below; breaking the beam and falling into the abyss below.

“Nooo!” Bobby cries out as he reaches down to his brother, whom has disappeared into the abyss below.

*Crack*

The sound of the support beam breaking forces Po and Bobby to stand with alerted tension. Then, suddenly, the upper staircase, holding Bobby, begins to collapse and slowly fall into the abyss as well. Bobby attempts to get to higher ground, but his futile effort is quickly snuffed as he falls into the abyss along with thousands of pounds of lumber going with him.

“Ahhhhh!”

Po watches as the upper staircase collapses as it goes up the staircase, slowly cracking and shattering into large chunks before falling apart on itself. The screams of Philip and bobby slowly disappear as they are swallowed up by the darkness; joining Takeshi and Little R on the ground. Po stares blankly into the void below and takes a very slow, but deep breath before beginning to talk to himself.

“I’m just gonna walk back down.”