“Damn it all. I think we’re gonna die today Po!” Takeshi says in disgust, running full sprint, in the middle of Zod’s barren, war torn wastelands. The sight of many battles of the Demon Wars lay waste as they run through a never ending desert slowly melting away the rusted weapons and dusty bones of the past.

“It doesn’t help*pant*that we’ve been running for an hour*pant*away from these sand worms!” Po remarks as two giant sand worms follow closely from behind, diving in and out of the desert sand. The hot and heavy air resonates on the horizon of boulders and destroyed artillery cannons and trebuchets as Takeshi spots something peculiar far off in the distance. A wispy, yet oddly translucent set of ribbons dance feverishly, high above the ground. They twist and bend together, and then begin to form an opening; upon which a large man blips into existence, slipping through, and begins to plummet towards the earth from far away.

“What the…” Takeshi says with a peaked interest and a raised, sweaty eyebrow.

“What is it, T?” Po says, already showing fatigue as his robe bounces around like a sopping wet rag. Takeshi looks around and spots a large boulder resting within the sand; a broken ballista leans on it, forgotten.

“Po, run around the rock and keep running that direction.” Takeshi shouts, vigorously pointing to an adjacent direction.

“Ok.” Po states with sweaty curiosity as they both start to sprint even harder towards the giant rock. The sand worms quickly follow, quickly gaining on them. The two swerve around the rock along with the sand worms following shortly after.

*Snap*

The hefty sound of the ballista firing its last shot sounds off with the snap of the slider holding the large, rusty bolt. With Takeshi primed behind the rock, he and Po watch as the bolt sails through the air and pierces one the sand worms directly in the head. The splayed sand worm cries out with a whimper as a greenish hued blood splashed the orange sand and plummets to the ground. Takeshi then quickly runs over to the second sandworm and slices at its long, slimy body. The second sandworm screeches in cacophonous tones as green blood spills out and covers the hot, orange sand. The worm halves twitch a bit before ceasing as Takeshi wipes of the green blood from his katana with their corpses. Po walks back to Takeshi and begins to speak while catching his breath.

“Whew, nice one. Any more running and my sides would have split in two as well.” Both Po and Takeshi start to chuckle.

“Your jokes couldn't get any worse.” Takeshi finally adds in, sheathing his katana. A long pause drew over the quiet desert country side as they look around to see nothing but dunes and dead trees with boulders strewn about; along side the endless swords and weaponry alike littering the landscape, and the bones of the deceased decomposing beyond recognition as it rejoins the earth.

“Oh, I meant to ask: What fervently has your attention this time?” Po begins as he shakes off sand from his brown druid robes. Takeshi stares off into the distance as he exclaims, “Come on. There’s something over in that area.” He quickly starts a light jog as Po complains, “Ugh, why are we always running? Can’t we saunter for once?”

“Don’t be a lazy bastard, Po. it’s not that far away.” Takeshi begins to walk, increasing the distance between him and Po.

“Fine.” Po adds in sneeringly.

As they approach the alleged area they both notice a very large, muscle bound man lying on his back. The mysterious man apparently hit the ground hard enough to create a small crater around him; just big enough to fill with the two sandworm corpses.

“See, I knew it!” Takeshi says with excitement as he slides down the crater towards the unconscious man.

“Knew what, that a man would be lying here in the sand? How random can you be, T?” Po says, trying to keep up with Takeshi, but gives up half way with a panted breath. Eventually, Po catches up and slides down into the crater and watches Takeshi check the man’s condition. He puts two fingers on the very muscular man’s bulging neck, and then they both sit quietly for a good minute in the blistering heat of the small desert crater. The wind begins to pick up speed, chucking clumps of sandstone and particulates into the crater. The man’s clothes resemble that of a fighter: slightly torn khaki colored pants with boots and a brownish red tunic with sleeves ripped at the shoulders with a dirty white undershirt. The gentle breeze caresses the back of Po’s neck, and flicks the cloth ties on Takeshi’s metal headband. Then after the moment passes along side an eerie howl of the wind, Takeshi takes his hand off the man’s neck and rests it on his rock hard chest.

“This human beef cake is alive.” Takeshi says with utter bewilderment.

“What’s so special about this man, whom just happens to be lying in the middle of the desert? Of which I still don’t get.” Po states plainly as he comfortably sits in the sand crater and crosses his legs. Takeshi soon follows, leaning back on the edge of the crater next to Po and begins to speak with a cough to clear his throat.

“This man fell from the sky.” Takeshi points loosely at the man, and then places his hands behind his head. A small landslide of sand occurs behind him as he pushes back on the crater’s edge.

“Come on, Takeshi. Be serious, for once.” Po states with disbelief.

“I’m not kidding around here, Po. I saw it with my own eyes as we were running for our lives.”

“Minotaur shit. You expect me to believe that a man, a big ass, muscular man, fell from the sky out of nowhere?”

“Yes, I expect you to believe it. My eyes are sharper than yours. We both know that.”

“Well…” Po pauses for a brief moment

“Ok, so your eyes are superior to mine. What does that prove?”

“Well,” Takeshi begins as he repositions to sit with crossed legs. The man still unconscious in front of them remains motionless. The blonde hair flickers with the incoming breeze, still giving no solace against the heat waves pouring down on them from high above the atmosphere.

“First and foremost: I saw this man fall from the sky as he appeared out of thin air. Fact.”

“Takeshi,” Po shakes his head in disbelief “You still expect me to believe that he spawned out of thin air?”

“Why is that so hard to believe?” Takeshi begins as he starts to count with his fingers. “I mean can you count the numerous and strange things that have happened to us since we’ve met?”

“Well…” Po starts to think deeply. “You do have a point.”

“So far we’ve been kidnapped and enslaved by fairies; survived a week out on the Orion Sea; crossed the infamous Anubis desert and the dwarven mountain nation of Dales in three months. Saw a band of goblins playing their asses like bongos in the middle of nowhere. And now…this.” Takeshi says with aversion while brushing his hands through the air, gesturing towards the muscular man, before leaning back on the desert sand again. They both sat in silence for a good moment before Po begins the conversation again.

“What was up with those goblins, anyway?”

“Who knows? All I’m saying is: we probably should keep our minds open to the unknown. Things havent been right since we’ve met. And they just seem to get worse the closer to Zod we get. We’re dealing with a lawless land after all.”

“Ok, T.” Po begins softly while smirking. “You’re right…I’ll try to keep an open mind about the utterly strange shit that happens to us.” Po strikes a snarky grin as the two lock eyes, causing Takeshi to snicker.

“Yeah, I guess it is pretty strange. But what’s the worst that could happen?”

The large man starts to groan in discomfort. The burly man’s short, light blonde hair seems a bit singed at the tips as his dark brown eyes open up and his pupils shrink from the staunch sunlight.

“Ow, my…head hurt.” The muscular man finally says as Takeshi and Po stand up rapidly and hover over him. Silence falls over the desert crater, with Takeshi and Po looking at each other with curious expressions in their eyes, and then look back down at the man. As he groans in slight discomfort, the masculine man leans up and starts to talk.

“Who…you?”

“Who you?” Takeshi and Po look at each other with quizzical looks again, and then Takeshi begins.

“My name is Takeshi Himura.”

“And I’m Po.”

The beefy man looks around with dead, boyish eyes. Another long silence falls over the sand crater as the sun reaches the highest point in the sky and bathes the three of them in a grossly incandescent heat that sizzles the tall rocks peaking down from above the crater; the waves pulsate around the charcoal colored surfaces. The man looks up, and within an instant, his facial expression turns into that of a child seeing something beautiful for the first time; A very boyish smile. Takeshi and Po look at each other with the same countenance of disarray before. Takeshi eventually clears his throat and commences.

“Uh, what’s your name, weary traveler?”

The man looks at Takeshi with the same grin on his face, but his pupils begin to dilate to an oddly huge size.

“My name Leon.” The brutish man, called Leon, stands up and brushes off the sand from his shirt as he towers over the other two. Leon blocks out the sun with his melon head of hay colored hair, looking down on Po and Takeshi, whom feel intimidated just being in the beastly man’s presence.

“Whoa, he’s enormous.” Po states, gazing at the ferocity of Leon.

“Damn, this guy must be part giant.” Takeshi says as he takes a step back to gauge Leon’s height.

“Yeah, no shit.” Po adds in with a snarky tone.

Leon looks down at Po and begins. “You, friend?” Leon states.

“You, friend? Uh oh.” Takeshi says with sudden realization in his eyes as he scratches his masked chin.

“What is it, Takeshi?”

“We’ll it looks like are gigantic friend here might have suffered some brain damage from that fall.” Takeshi pats Leon gingerly on his pectoral, while Po suddenly begins to lift himself off the ground with a couple of pillars of sand below his feet and gets eye level.

“Strange,” Po begins, examining the crown of Leons blonde head. “There’s no blood. He looks fine.” Po slowly sinks back down into the crater at his normal height while Takeshi continues to pat his pectorals in envy.

“Man, this guy is strong. I wish-” Takeshi is interrupted from the sudden motion of Leon’s beefy arms curling around him as he is lifted into the air and roughly slammed into Leon’s chest.

“Whoa, please don’t eat me!” Takeshi shouts as he flails his legs around while Leon effortlessly holds him in midair. The austere expression of the behemoth curdles Takeshi’s stomach with unease.

“Uh, Takeshi is friend. Takeshi is friend.” Po exclaims, waving his arms around wildly at Leon to get his attention. Leon looks befuddled for a second as he gazes at Po, and then looks up at Takeshi with another boyish smile.

“Takeshi is friend!” Leon shouts, and then pulls in Takeshi for a very strong embrace.

“Ack! Too…much…strength.” Takeshi says, gasping for air and struggling to keep his spine from snapping as his face sticking out of the mask begin to turn blue.

*Crack*

“Oh!” Takeshi yells out in discomfort, but Leon continues with an enduring embrace.

“Leon, you’re hurting Takeshi!” Po shouts desperately, flailing his arms again. Leon strikes a worrying look and drops Takeshi to the ground. Takeshi manages to land on his feet as he massages his lower back.

“You ok, T.” Po asks, running over to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I think he actually…fixed my back. I feel a lot better than I have in months.” Takeshi finally states with an increasingly surprised expression as he straightens up.

“Ok, good. Leon,” Po calls out as Leon’s attention is grasped and he leans down to Po’s eye level. “Be careful. You are stronger than you know.” Leon begins to smile again as he hoists up Po and starts another death-hug on him.

“Po friend too!” Leon says with a twinkle in his eye and an excited grin.

“Son of a Pugh…this hurts.” Po says as he gasps for air convulsively.

“Leon, Leon,” Takeshi calls out as he slaps his hand repeatedly on Leon’s abs. Leon looks down at Takeshi while squeezing the life out of Po unabated.

“What have you just learned?” Takeshi finally states as he puts his arms akimbo. Leon looks at Po as his face begins to turn a purplish hue and releases his grip on him. Leon starts to dwindle into a melancholy mood, wiping away a single tear with a huge finger.

“Leon sorry.” He says with a sniffle. A large overhanging string of snot droops down below his chin before quickly shooting back up into his nose with a hardy sniff.

“It’s ok, Leon. We’re all friends here; right, Po?” Takeshi firmly pats on Leon’s back as he looks at Po, whom starts to regain consciousness.

“Yes,” Po begins hoarsely. “We’re all friends.” Po slowly walks over and starts to pat Leon on the back as well. Leon looks up at the two and smiles, with his melancholy mood dissipating behind a boyish smile.

“Friends.” Leon says after a moment.

“So, Leon,” Takeshi begins as he sits back down on the ground with his legs crossed. “Do you remember anything? Where are you from or…how you got here?” Takeshi positions his hand under his chin expecting an answer from Leon. Po sits on the ground next to Takeshi to listen.

“Leon’s head…fuzzy. Not remember much.” Leon finally states as he scratches his head with one beefy finger. The blonde flecks of hair dance around his finger while he apprehends vacuous thoughts.

“Well, that’s not good.” Po says as he rests one hand behind his head and leans back. His druid robes begin to sink and form into the craters edge.

“Leon, would you like to join us on our quest?” Takeshi states while standing up and walking over to Leon to put a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe we can regain your memories someway, or maybe find your home. That’s it, if you join us, we’ll help you find your home.”

“Leon join? Find home?”

“Yes. What do you say, will you join us?” Takeshi says with an eager voice and an outstretched hand as Leon’s eyes widen. After a brief moment, Leon smiles and nods excitedly.

“Great.” Takeshi swings his arm from behind Leon’s shoulder and gives a hardy thumbs up.

“But, T,” Po begins as Takeshi turns to face him. “Where are we going?”

“You know where we’re going. To the Zod Capital: Beelzebub.”

“Yeah; but in what direction?” Po lifts his arms up in the air and gestures in multiple directions.

“Oh…well…shit.” Takeshi frantically climbs out of the crater as the others soon follow. They all look around but see no landmarks to distinguish their location or direction.

“Double shit,” Takeshi scratches his head in frustration. “I guess we both lost direction from the sandworms chasing us.. wait,” He ponders for a moment while staring down Po. “How does a druid get lost?”

“I lived on an island all my life. I don’t know Zod’s terrain well enough yet.”

“Excuses, excuses.”

“Pfft, it doesn’t help that the sun is at the highest point.” Po says in a frustrated tone while wiping the sweat off his head with the sleeve of his robe.

“Whatever, we’ll figure it out.” Takeshi states as he pulls out a map of Zod and stares deeply into it for another minute.

“Ok.” Takeshi points a finger up in the air and then chops down to point in a direction.

“We’ll go west.”

“West?” Leon ponders stupidly.

Po looks at the direction he was suggesting before stating, “Takeshi, are you sure that’s west?”

“Uh, not really.”

“Well then let’s head that way.” Po says as he points in the opposite direction of Takeshi. They both look up at the sun; which happens to be at its highest point, and then look back at each other with squinted eyes.

“No, look at this map. It says west is that way.” Takeshi says pointing at the map of Zod, then he slaps the map and points back into the same direction he suggested earlier.

“You can’t read Dwarven rune language. It clearly says that way is east.” Po states sternly as he also slaps the parchment of the map.

“What, You just want to challenge me don’t you?” Takeshi states with a bit of anger in his voice.

“No, this isn’t something we should be fighting over.”

Takeshi glares into Po’s eyes as the sun continues to blast them with heat and the desert around them remains silent with only the sounds of gentle winds flowing by; the sound of large footfalls fade away into the distance. They continue to lock eyes as they both loosen their stances. Then, after the mood decreases in intensity, Takeshi begins to speak.

“Fine, let’s have Leon decide…Leon?” They look around and notice Leon has already started heading into the direction Takeshi suggested at a brisk pace.

“Shit.” The two say as they run steadfast towards Leon and continue to walk, somewhat aimlessly, in the back country desert wastelands of Zod. Po snatches the map out of Takeshi’s hand before he can out pace him and begins to read over the markings.

“You were reading this upside down, you dumb ass.”

“We’ll at least we’re going west now, for sure.” Takeshi laughs it off as he sprints back to Leon, whom is humming to himself and walking at a brisk pace that would be considered a jog for normal people.

Another day passes as the trio continues their journey, until they finally realized that they were heading in the wrong direction. So they turned back around and spent the next month traveling to Beelzebub surviving on scorpions, sandworms, and cactus water. After a month of travel they arrive at a large lake with no end or way around in sight. Takeshi and Po continue on where they left off.

“We’ll at least I didn’t read the map upside down.”

“No, Po. We both know that you read it upside down since we had to back track.”

“Well...fuck you.”

“Whoa, Po relax.”

“Don’t tell me to relax. Wait,” Po’s sour mood precipitously change back into a neutral temper as he gazes at a rather smelly, and large lake in front of them.

“Well, now what?” Takeshi asks, crossing his arms with a perturbed mood. Po walks over to the lake and gently, but firmly stick an open hand in it to scoop out some water; only to find a gelatinous mess congeal onto his hand and quickly slurping back into place.

“Ew,” Po begins, rubbing his hand on a clean section of his sun bleached, brown robes.

“What was that?” Takeshi stared blankly at the strange water. Takeshi overhears Po sniff the air loudly, and soon, they both begin to take in the olfactory sensation of rotten fish.

“The lake is ancient.” Po begins, walking over to Takeshi and Leon, whom is staring off in the distance.

“What do you mean?” Takeshi asks with an intriguing look in his eyes.

“Well, the lake is so old that it’s mostly salt and decayed life.”

“Well, now what?”

“I guess we could swim, but we would die if we absorb too much of the salt in this heat.”

“Leon good at swimming.” Leon quickly begins to jaunt over to the lake without further hesitation as Po sticks out and arm towards him.

“Wait, Leon.”

“Great, now well have an eight foot tall behemoth that smells like something di-” Takeshi stops as Po stares at him in confusion. Tapping on Po’s shoulder and gesturing out to the lake, Po turns around to witness Leon continuing his jaunt in the lake unremittingly. Leon steps forward, sinking into the water only waist deep, but seemingly unfazed by that notion.

“That mother fucker weighs like half a dragon.” Takeshi states with an outstretched hand and a breviloquent tone.

“Maybe we can walk on it.” Po begins to walk over to the shoreline and takes a few steps onto the gelatinous water. A solid squish farts out from the water as Po balances effortlessly on the water’s surface.

“Well, how is it, Gassy?”

“It wasn’t me, it was the water.”

“Yeah, sure.” Takeshi states plainly with a bout of laughter before beginning to walk onto the water himself. Another audible fart belches out of the water with each step they both take as they attempt to catch up to Leon. “Fine, I guess it is the water.” Takeshi says after a bit of walking on the gelatinous water in silence.

“I’ll give it to you, Takeshi.”

“What?”

“It is pretty weird.”

They continue to walk past the salty lake, through the sand spires, and weave down the canyons all while Takeshi continues his training; Po continues studying and honing his magic skills; and Leon exercises by using boulders as weights. Finally, at the rise of another dawn, the trio arrives at the outskirts of Beelzebub at the end of the third month.

“Finally, we’ve made it. You would not believe how much sand is in my ass.” Takeshi says with a slouched and exhausted posture, adjusting his pants from behind.

“Same. And it would have helped if you’d stop reading the map upside down.” Po exclaims as he roughly slaps the back of Takeshi’s head. He looks angrily at Po and retorts.

“Well, it’s not my fault it was in dwarven. You know I can’t read that. This is the last time we buy a map in Dales.”

“You kind of have to expect those kinds of things when you shop at a Dwarven Market in the mountains, genius.” Po states with slight irritation as he crosses his arms.

“Yay, horsey.” Leon says with joy as he runs over to a horse and hugs it. The horse whinnies and begins to buck, but with Leon’s iron grip, the horse gives up quickly. Nearby demon citizens of differing horn shapes and colored skin look on with mixed expressions, mostly of disgust.

“Leon, don’t hug it so tight.” Po shouts as he looks back at Takeshi.

“Do you know what we’re looking for, T?”

“Well, not really.” Takeshi says as he straightens his posture and looks at Po, with arms crossed and his chin resting on one hand. “Should we just make our own adventure as we go?” Takeshi asks Po as they both trail off and watch Leon nearly strangle a horse with his loving biceps.

“Leon love horsey!”

*Whinnies*

Takeshi snickers at the sight of a strangled horse before Po begins the conversation again.

“Well, I’m sure that’s what that old man wanted us to do anyway. He really only gave us a direction; not a goal or a clue. So fuck it.” Takeshi raises his hands in the air and clasps them together behind his head as he starts to walk towards Leon.

“Let’s go, Po. Adventure awaits us.” Po soon follows after taking a brief moment to look around and see the sights Beelzebub has to offer.

“Leon, let’s go.”

“Ok!” Leon runs over to the two as the horse falls over gasping for air.

“I could use a drink.” Po states with a rough expression of exhaustion.

“Same...let’s get a drink.”

The people in town are almost exclusively of demon descent. With most having a red skin tone; and horns of varying pointed shapes and swirled designs. They all speak in their own native tongue of Infernal, but most do speak common as traders and outsiders often come to the capital city. The streets are lively and noise fills the trio’s ears as they gaze upon Gothic architecture and stone buildings with wood decorations depicting old deities of demonic backgrounds. On church steeples, lies a faint and worn painting of General Zod, a hefty, yet intimidating demon with a large set of ram like horns. in his usual attire during the Demon Wars. As they walk, they’re constantly gazed upon by the natives with strange smirks and raised eyebrows painted on their faces. The desert sand, hardened and patted down by the constant flow of traffic, resembles the same orange colored sand in the back country wastelands, only with less blood smashed into it. The sun shines bright, and the clouds lie dormant on the ocean horizon behind the various buildings lining the sides of the sandstone road.

“You ok, Takeshi?” Po asks with genuine concern. With a fixed gaze, Takeshi examines the demons staring back all around them as they continue to walk. The crowd becomes more and more intrigued as the idle chatter of varying demonic groups begin to dissipate and turn into hushed whispers and sneers of displeasure.

“No, Po.” Takeshi begins muttering to Po with a sharpened lilt in his voice. “I’m not ok. I tried to hide it, but it’s moot. We need to be on guard. So no sudden movements.”

“Hey,” A fellow demon, scrawny in stature and smiling at them with an open hand, walks in front of the group and directly addresses Takeshi, whom begins to panic. “You fellas don’t look like you’re from around here. Need some hel-ack.”

Takeshi sheathes his sword without cleaning it, as Po becomes shocked at the rolling head hitting the sandstone road and splattering with a beautifully red hue. The demons body falls limply to the ground, as other onlookers gasp with terror and anger.

“What...the fuck, Takeshi?!” Po begins to yell in a bewildered manner while Leon gazes at the corpse with boyish confusion.

“What? Ok, I panicked.”

“No, shit. We’ve only been here for thirty minutes and you’ve already killed someone.” Po begins to rub the sides of his faces hardily.

“Alright, P-”

“Now what?” Po exclaims, interrupting Takeshi, with annoyance, which startles the crowd that gathered around the three as they caused a ruckus and began their outburst. Most of the circling demons have already brought out their various weaponry to meet them.

“You boys dun goofed.” a brawny demon with large straight horns stomps his way out from the angry mob of demons and into the inner circle to confront them. “You know what we do to outsiders in Zod?” He asks as he towers over Takeshi and Po, but comes eye level with Leon, whom began to stop smiling.

“Oh, fuck.” Po exclaims in an intimidated manner as the demons shadow eclipses his own.

“That’s right. you’d be fucked alright.” the demon shouts with a pointed finger.

“Po,” Takeshi begins with a whisper, just barely heard over an angry crowd. “i think you should use your branches.”

“Good thinking.” Po, without further hesitation, begins to instinctively grow and exponential amount of branches and vines out from the sandstone ground. The startled mob of angry demons become neurotic as they become entangled by the plants sprouting randomly around their limbs.

“You fuckers, prepare to die.” The large demon in front of them shouts, spitting on them with a fiery intensity and saliva.

*Bam*

In a split second, Takeshi and Po become startled at the sight of Leon’s large and hulking fist ramming into the demons face; all at once, caving in and exploding out the back of his head as it flies off into the distance and splatters the now silent mob of demons, the side of a large building, and finally landing on the roof of an adjacent building. Leon stands triumphantly with a serious face quickly melting back into a boyish smile that put Takeshi and Po at a neurotic ease.

“Damn.” Takeshi states in an impressed manner, wiping the blood off of his face mask and bandolier.

“I can’t believe it either.” Po states with the same look of shock and awe on his face.

“No, not that. That.” Takeshi points limply around them as Po realizes what he has done. The silence that fell over the perturbed crowd was due to Po flinching, accidentally causing the vines to snap everyone's necks and limbs all at once withing the blink of an eye.

“Oh, shit.” Po says, defaulting back to his annoyed look strewn across his face. He ponders and he retracts the branches and vines and watches as the bodies fall down to the floor. The carrion, going full circle around them, begins to sink in as they look on at distant demons, minding their own business, stopping in shock at the sight of forty plus bodies lying dead on a busy road.

“Wow,” Po starts after a long silence falls over. “We’ve been here only, what? Thirty-five minutes? And we’ve already wrote our epithets.” Po shakes his head in displeasure as he crosses his arms. Takeshi cleans off his katana using the headless corpse of the beefy demon, bleeding like a stuck pig, and stores it into his back-sheath, then begins as he throws an arm over Po’s shoulder.

“Speak for yourself. You harbinger of death.” He sweeps the air from left to right with an open palm as he pushes Po forward to walk side by side. The surrounding populous seems to be going about their day as if nothing has happened, but some remain standing, staring at the sight in amazement; stepping around the corpses of the recently deceased demonoids, the onlookers scurry off as they walk within close proximity.

“M-monsters.” A demon woman shouts as her child tugs at her pant leg.

“Mother, look. Daddy has no head. He’s always being so goofy.” the child snorts with laughter, unaware.

“Po, this might be a great place after all.” Takeshi takes his hand off Po’s shoulder as he snickers with excitement after a moment of cautious reprieve.

“And why do you say that?” Po questions as he looks down at the ground, lamenting about what he had just done.

“Look around you. No one gives a fuck.” Takeshi then plainly states as he continues to walk alongside with Po with Leon following close behind. Po looks around and loosens his posture, but notices that the strange looks shot at them from the native demons have turned into disturbed looks of reverence.

“You heard that kid. He-”

“Po, stop worrying so much.”

“So you’re ok with what you...we did?”

“No, but it’s in the past now.” Takeshi wavers a dismissive hand at Po. “Besides, look at Leon, he seems perfectly content with the situation.” On queue, they both look up at a cheerfully ignorant Leon practically skipping next to them as his hulking body leaves huge indents of his footfalls in the sandstone road. The demons passing by the three on the road, look on with the same expressions of anxiety as they pickup their pace at the mere sight of them, all splattered with a bit of blood.

“I don’t think we should compare Leon’s...complex to our problem.” Po says dejectedly, looking back over at Takeshi. “But, what now?” Po finally asks after he brushes the sand and dried blood off his brown robe and continues to walk alongside Takeshi.

“We’ll…it’s been a good seven months since the last time we were in any town.”

“Are we going to the bar still? I definitely need a drink after that?”

“What do you say, Leon? Food? We’ve got the coinage now.” Takeshi states with a newly found eagerness as he bounces a few coin pouches in his palm.

“Wha-when did you snatch those up?”

“That’s why i’m the ninja, Po.”

“Leon like.” he grins with his usual big, childlike smile.

“Good, then it’s settled.”

“But-”

“Po, you worry too much. Don’t worry, I’ll just ask someone for directions to the best bar in the city.” Po looks at Takeshi and nods as they continue to walk down the busy street with the smell of hot iron from a nearby blacksmith’s shop filling the air. The clanging of the hammer hitting hot steel echoes far as the sun continues to beat down upon them.

“Ooh, look at that.” Takeshi says with excitement as he points directly in front. A very beautiful, red skinned, demonoid woman with long black hair walks in front of the trio wearing a very flashy black dress that shows off her breath taking curves.

“I don’t know, T. You think she’s the right person to ask?”

Takeshi looks at Po with confusion. “Man, you have been on that island way too long. You see what you do is find the women; they basically know how things run in the cities. Trust me, you need to be more open minded about things, Po. And stop worrying so damn much.”

“Fine, as long as you promise not to kill anyone else, and cause a ruckus.”

“Deal. Come on, Leon.” The trio walk up to the woman, dressed in black, from behind with Takeshi clearing his throat to begin.

“Ahem, Excuse me, madam. May I have a moment of your time?” The woman casually turns around with an uninterested face but then suddenly, and very dramatically, changes her expression to that of enchantment.

“My, My, look at these tall glasses of goblin piss before my eyes.”

“Ex-cuse me?” Takeshi says with a confused look in his eyes.

“It’s a compliment, sugar dick. Oh, you boys are definitely not from around here.” Her hips gyrate as her hair effortlessly hides her small black horns pointing out of her forehead. She moves in closer, exerting herself to make her large breasts bounce; her small nipples poke out as if it was a cold day in Zod, but the grossly incandescent sunlight beats down with a feverish heat and the beads of sweat glisten off her pronounced neck. They gaze upon her with slacked jaws, moving their eyes slowly downwards to inspect every curve; until they’re presented with a very large bulge, slightly obscured by her black dress, in between her legs pivoting with every hip movement.

“Oh, son of a Pugh.” Takeshi says worryingly.

“Is this what you meant about being open minded, T?” Po whispers into Takeshi’s ear as they both try to break their gaze of the over-sized lump.

“No, not at all.” Takeshi aggressively whispers.

“What’s the matter, boys?” she covers her mouth with a black, silk gloved hand as she starts giggling to herself and strikes a pose to advertise her various packages. She puts one hand on her hip and starts to speak again, “Have you boys never seen a transvestite before? Ooh, I’m flattered that I’m your first.” She covers her face again as she laughs joyously with her suspiciously feminine voice. The group stands with eyes widened as Po nudges Takeshi stiffly with an elbow.

“Oh, uh…do you know where the best bar in the city is?” Takeshi stutters as he asks and embarrassingly looks around away from the trap-demon.

“Oh, seasoned adventurers, as well? You boys just get tastier by the sentence, don’t you?” the demon states as her bulge seems to get bigger in size with each passing minute, and Takeshi becomes increasingly perturbed. The trio flinch as if her sizable bulge were about to pounce out and attack. She walks up slowly and starts to caress Takeshi’s masked face; gingerly sweeping her long, sharpened nails across his chin as she begins to converse again.

“Naturally, the best bar in town is also a ship yard and brothel that I own. Just head down to the port and go south about a ching-ching, and you’ll find it. It’s called ‘The Broken Oar.’” The woman starts to rub her legs up against Takeshi as his discomfort starts to show on his face. She then takes a few steps back away from the group and stares intensely at Po, whom leans back a little as his discomposed, wide eyed gaze continues.

“What the Pugh is a ching-ching?” Po then states as he desperately tries to fill in dead air.

“It’s-It’s about a mile.” Takeshi says as he nervously turns to look at Po, then looks back at the trap-demon woman as she takes a step forward. The trap demon rests a hand on her hip and continues.

“You’re quite knowledgeable about our culture aren’t you, rogue?” she says with intrigue as she plays with her black silk like hair.

“We’ll actually I’m a nin-“

“Can you boys tell me your names?” her stare intensifies salaciously as she interrupts Takeshi.

“Well…I’m Takeshi Himura.”

“I’m Po.”

“My name Leon!” She looks up at the towering, muscular body of Leon as her face begins to glow with excitement.

“Ooh, a big strong man like you can keep me company anytime.” She walks over to Leon and brushes her hand down his iron clad abdominal muscles, feeling every ridge and bump. She then turns around and leans on his muscled stomach to sigh loudly with a hand shielding her face from the sun.

“Unfortunately, I have to go take care of some...business.”

The trio looks at each other with unusually perplexed faces before the trap-demon pauses and turns around.

“Oh, and I’ll be seeing you boys around, right?”

“Uh, we’ll be in town for a bit. Mostly drinking, I suspect.”

“Copious amounts of drinking.” Po adds in with a blank face.

“Yes, drinking.”

“Oh, excellent. Then I’ll be seeing you; hopefully soon. But who’s to say?” just before the demon turns around, Takeshi calls out to her.

“Thanks for the help, si-madam...uh.” she turns back around, and with a coy smile and speaks again with a marvelous grace.

“You boys can call me…Xavier.” She turns back around, heads down the street, and disappears into the crowd far away. Silence falls over the group as the moving crowd flows past the trio standing in the middle of the street with uncomfortable shivers running down Takeshi and Po’s spines.

“Duh, What a nice man.” Leon says with a smile on his face and an unconscious flex of his pectorals, which scares a demon couple close by him as they flinch apprehensively.

“I…I think her dick was bigger than my arm.” Po says with a stutter as the group starts to walk.

“that’s the first thing that came to your mind, Po?” Takeshi says while shaking his head with genuine indifference.

“Well, you were thinking it too.”

“You got me there, Po. Let’s go drink ‘copious amounts’ now. I definitely need a drink after that.”

“Definitely.” Po says with mutual assurance.

The group spends a bit of time traveling along the Beelzebub port. Their ocular and olfactory senses are tantalized by shades of deep blue from the sea collide with sprays of greenish-white sea foam hitting the pier, and the smell of freshly cut fish wafts in the gentle, salty seaside breeze blocked by the buildings as the echoes of laughter and lutes playing music reverberate on the old, red bricked walls. The bright white glow of the sun continues, unabated, to bathe the port with light; with only the distant lightning strikes and cumulonimbus clouds obscuring the distant horizonas they drift like floating towers. The group finally reaches their destination: A big, wooden sign juts out of the reddish stone building that reads,

‘The Broken Oar.

What happens here, stays here.’

A snicker belts out of Takeshi as he examines the sign’s lewd picture of an oar penetrating deep into a mildly perturbed goblins ass.

“Here we are guys. With these coin pouches, I’m sure we can actually buy a few dozen drinks now that we have the money.” Takeshi states as he pulls out the pouches and starts to count the coins inside.

“Sooo, how much do we have?” Po states with eagerness. Takeshi continues to count as a pair of demons walk into the bar behind them.

“So, you hear about the massacre that happened over at second street?” The distant echoes of a demons question as he enters the bar, scrapes by Po’s ear, while Takeshi largely ignores it; the worn, wooden double doors slam shut as he finishes counting.

“Sweet, we have a good four hundred gp.”

“Is that a lot?” Po asks, with a scratch of his beard.

“Wha-” Takeshi’s quickly angered gaze turns to understanding as he looks back at Po. “Well, currency in Zod works by how much bread you can buy with a single gold piece. One gold piece, is equated to one loaf.”

“So~ that’s a lot.”

“Yes it is, Po.”

“What we wait for?” Leon finally states with an overgrown eagerness to enter the bar. Leon pushes the two with his huge hands as they both struggle to keep their balance.

“Whoa, ok, Leon.” Takeshi begins. “Let’s go.” As they open up the double doors, the sounds of laughter, iron flagons clanging, and a lute being played overwhelms them with melodic tones. An unusual musky smell wafts towards the group as they grow ever more curious of its gross olfactory charm. All of the bar patrons: demons of all walks of life and a few other adventurers of varying races disseminated between them, are having a good time as they drink a yellowish, frothy drink from flagons and pitchers; slapping on tables and playing various games with a demon deck of cards: the same as any other card deck, but with more macabre themes. Some of the bar patrons have demon women dressed scantily as they sit on their laps and laugh coyly at their dumb jokes and a few of them looking more menacing than most of the men. The trio walks over to the bartender: a rather stout, but fit, demon with a good sized black spotted, gray beard and curved, ram like horns. His piercing yellow eyes beam through the demon’s dirty spectacles as he spit cleans a glass pitcher. The three sit on the bar stools and Takeshi slaps his hands on the bar; an audible crunch is heard piercing out of Leon’s chair as he sets his whole weight onto it.

“Give me the manliest drink you’ve got.” Takeshi boldly states as he continues to place his hands on the bar stiffly. The bartender slowly and carelessly looks up at him.

“Are you a human?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” the bartender leans in with newly found, genuine intrigue of Takeshi’s challenge and sets the spit cleaned pitcher down on the bar. “We have a drink that’s not really made for humans, but if you think you’ve got the balls for it, I’ll serve it to you.”

“Can I just get a dwarve-“

*Bam*

“We’ll take three.” Takeshi interrupts Po’s judgment as he slams a fist on the table and holds up three fingers.

“That’ll be nine gold pieces.”

“Done.” Takeshi exclaims with excitement as he slaps down nine gold pieces on the bar. The coins clink together as the bartender scoops the gold into the pitcher and sets it below the bar. Po begins to speak as the bartender fixes the drinks.

“Dimak, grab me a fresh pitcher of goblin piss.” The stout demon bartender yells over to a rather tall and strong looking pale half elf; the bartenders belly quakes, unsettling the three for a mere moment, as the half-elf runs into the back room with determination.

“Wait,” Po begins to grip the wooden bar top with shaky hands. “Did he just say goblin piss?”

“It’s probably just a pseudonym.” Takeshi slaps Po’s back.

“Takeshi, are you sure about this?” Po, with a worried look strewn across his face, forces Takeshi to ponder his decision for a moment before beginning to answer.

“Po, stop worrying. It’s probably just dwarven rum with some added ingredients that only Zod has locally.”

“You think it’s just gonna be dwarven rum, do ya?” the bartender says as he laughs loudly and turns around to witness the half-elf, Dimak, run out from the back room carrying a pitcher filled with a rather frothy, yellow liquid, filled to the brim. Dimak barely makes it to the bartender without spilling a drop as he turns to the three.

“Are these the guys that ordered this boss?” the half-elf, corrects his pony-tailed brown hair as his eyes glimmer a bright red with worry.

“Yep.” the bartender smiles nonchalantly.

“Well, good luck.” Quickly, the half-elf hesitates, and then heads off to the back room again as the three look on at him walking away with a strikingly good amount of concern drawn on their faces; except Leon, whom didn’t care to begin with.

Holding three pint glasses, the bartender effortlessly pours the large pitcher and fills the glasses to the brim with the frothy, pungent, yellow substance. He sets them down in front of them, and they begin to stare deeply into the foamy head of the drinks slightly spilling over the brim of the glass. They all sniff the liquid after a brief moment of hesitation, and flare their nostrils in displeasure.

“Ugh, what the Pugh is that?” Po exclaims with distaste.

“Smell funny.” Leon pinches his nose while making a repulsed face.

“Well, that guy over there is used to it.” The bartender says with slightly distasteful indifference as he casually points over to another human wearing a peculiar dark blue ninja garb, with matching katana at his hip; he laughs casually with a group of brutish demons as he chugs down half a glass of goblin piss as if it was water.

“Hey, T. That guy looks like you.” Po says to Takeshi, but says nothing more as he notices a large amount of discomfort coming from him. “Who is that guy?” Po asks the bartender with increased intrigue.

“Well,” the bartender picks at his belly button with a clawed finger with the same face of distaste. “That sack of shit is a regular here. He calls himself ‘Magic Man’ for some reason, but his real name is Yuri Yamamoto.” The bartender looks down at Takeshi, whom is giving off an aura of killing intent as he stares down into the glass.

“You outsiders are in for a treat.” The bartender quickly changes gears to a more sunny disposition. “Goblin piss is a delicacy to us demons who can actually drink it without any ill effects. But for you humans, woo boy, it’s a real doozy of a hallucinogenic until you grow accustomed to it. If you do, that is.” The bartender leans in and begins to talk in a deeper and softer voice. “I thought you adventuring types were tough. You must be some rookies.” Takeshi’s eyes increasingly express a more menacing look of antipathy as he forcefully grabs the drink by the handle, pulls his mask up to expose his mouth, and starts to chug the drink. One gulp at a time, his face begins to grow more and more repulsed; squinting harder with every gulp. As the last drops flow into his mouth, Takeshi slams the glass on the bar and belches loudly with residual foam leaking out from the corners of his mouth and then pulls his mask back down.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Ha ha ha~...You boys are alright.” The bartender says with a very pleased and jolly face as he slaps Takeshi on the shoulder and turns back around to tidy up the multitude of bottles behind him. Po, with eyes wide open and a shocked expression, begins.

“Uh…so how was it?” Takeshi belches loudly again and smacks his lips as he looks into the empty glass with a raised brow. He watches the left over effervescence slowly slide down inside the glass for a brief moment before beginning to talk.

“You know, besides the smell, it’s actually pretty tasty. Almost like a nutty, dried grass taste. It still smells like warm piss, though.” He turns to Po and leans on the bar as he holds his head up with his hand.

“So, Takeshi.” Po intervenes the topic at hand for a moment. “Do you know that guy...Yuri?”

“You need to drink, Po.” Takeshi says, ignoring the question nonchalantly with a casual gaze. This causes Po to briefly become disconcerted as he fidgets with his hands on the still frothing glass.

“Uh, maybe Leon should g-” Po turns around as Leon effortlessly drinks with one huge and hardy gulp making the yellowish liquid seem like it vanished in an instant. Leon burps while he wipes his mouth clean from the residual foam and liquid running down his chin. His face turns sour with displeasure.

“Leon not like.” Leon taps the shoulder of the bartender with one of his huge fingers to get his attention.

“Need anything else my giant, burly friend?” the bartender says happily as he leans in to take his order. Leon gives off a boyish smile as he holds up an index finger.

“Leon want milk?”

The bartender raises and eye brow and says, “We’ll, of course. How much do you need?”

“Leon want biggest glass.” Leon stretches out his arms almost knocking Po out of his chair.

“One big ass bucket of milk; coming right up. We have the best milk in the country.” The bartender boldly states as he walks into the backroom behind the bar. Takeshi taps Po’s shoulder to distract him from Leon.

“What are you waiting for Po? Drink.” Takeshi continues to say nonchalantly as he points lazily with a free hand; the muddled sound of a cow mooing is heard from the backroom, while Po continues to stall. He looks deeply at the frothy glass of Goblin piss and grabs the handle, but pauses for another brief moment.

“Drink. Drink. Drink!” Takeshi begins to shout with excitement. Po then takes a few big gulps of the drink. The anxiety seeps away after every gulp, and just before he pulls away, he continues to finish the drink.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.” Takeshi slaps Po hard on the back as he finishes the last drop.

*cough**cough*

Po begins to choke and cough as he holds his chest and roughly sets the glass down on the bar. Po’s gold and silver eyes turn red around the iris and almost begin to tear up.

“You did it, Po.” Takeshi states happily with a twinkle in his sharp, gold eyes.

“Here you go; one big ass bucket of milk.” The bartender walks out from the backroom as he carries a big bucket of milk over to Leon and sets it down.

*thud*

“That’ll be twelve gold pieces.” The bartender says to Leon as his expression changes to that of frustration.

“Takeshi one that pay.” He finally states as he takes a big swig from the bucket.

“Fine.” Takeshi says as he loosely grabs twelve gp and slams it down on the table. One of the coins rolls across the bar as the bartender swipes it.

“Thank you.” The bartender says as he continues to scoop the other pieces into a pitcher and places it under the bar before going back to business with another group of bar patrons at the other end. Takeshi and Po look over at Leon as he hardily sets the bucket down and says, “Ahh.” With a boyish smile and a milk white moustache, Leon looks over at the two. Takeshi and Po slowly look at each other and laugh as the bar continues with a noisy upbeat song on the lute.

“Wanna play cards and order a round of drinks?” Takeshi asks Po as he continues to lean on the bar. Po breaks from the music and answers.

“I’ll play a game, but I’m not drinking that again.”

“Fine. Hey bartender,” Takeshi lifts his hand up in the air and slaps the bar with the other. The bartender walks over to him and asks,

“What’ll it be, masked friend?”

“Another round for me, and if you have a spare deck of cards, I’ll buy.”

“Eight gold.” The bartender places an open hand as Takeshi slaps down eight gp into it. He turns around and fills up his glass and hands him a fresh deck of cards. The deck of cards: unusual to humans, but common for demons; an unusual stack of fifty-six cards all written in the language of Infernal. The four suites: Cups, swords, coins, and clubs. The trio has a good time as Leon watches Takeshi and Po play a game of cards. As time passes, Takeshi sips his goblin piss as he places cards. After the second round of cards, they start to feel as if something was uneasy in the bar room.

“Woo, I’m starting to feel a nice buzz.” Takeshi exclaims as he places a card on the table face up. Po does the same.

“Yeah, me too.”

“You know, Po, we should start our own crew. How fun does that sound?”

“Yeah, that does sound like fun. We could pick up a crew here.” Po places another card.

“We could also head to the Seafaring Nations if we grab a ship and a crew.” Takeshi places another card down.

“How far is that?”

“About a three months journey out at sea.”

“I guess it’s pretty popular if people willingly risk going in monster infested waters to visit.” Po sets another card down with a shaky hand.

“Right you are, Po. It’s actually one of the more popular destinations as well.” Takeshi places a card on the table, and then, suddenly, they both quickly slap the pile.

*Slap**Slap*

“Shit. This is why I hate playing games with you.” Po exclaims with a frown as he points a stiff finger at Takeshi, whom is snickering and no doubt smirking behind his mask.

“Hehehe.” Takeshi maniacally laughs as he scoops the pile of cards into his deck and shuffles the cards. Po shuffles his deck as he starts to talk again.

“Yeah, but anyway; if we’re gonna buy a ship, we need the money for it, right? So how much is a ship?”

“Hmm, bartender!” Takeshi shouts at the bartender while waving him down to come closer. The bartender quickly finishes his conversation with the patrons at the end of the bar and then casually walks back over to the three.

“How ya boys doin’? Hopefully not overdoing it.” The bartender leans on the bar with hands clasps together while he begins to rub them rigidly.

“Hey, how much would it cost us to buy a ship?” Po asks, while the bartender raises an eye brow and then leans back to stand up straight.

“Well, to buy a ship would cost you a down payment of one hundred thousand gold; with five annual payments of twenty thousand.”

“Minotaur shit.” Takeshi snaps his fingers in mild frustration, but then quickly thinks of another solution. “How much to rent?”

“One-time payment of one hundred thousand and you’ll have it for six months.”

“Good, we’ll think about it. And, maybe later, we’ll rent.”

“Okey dokey.” The bartender says as he starts to walk away to serve another group of bar patrons behind them.

“Ok, Po.” Takeshi begins as he leans in closer to him while putting an unusually heavy hand on his shoulder.

“All we need is a way to get one hundred thousand gp. Hopefully we won’t have to resort to playing bongos with our asses with Goblins again to get the money. My butt cheeks are still pretty sore from that endeavor.” Takeshi pauses briefly before he faces forward and loosely sips the last of his Goblin piss before slamming the glass down on the table and snickering.

“We’ll pay the down payment and just not return to pay the rest. I mean, how are they gonna find us?”

“Hey, T.” Po begins as he places a hand on his forehead and leans on the bar with a few cards in the other hand.

“Yeah, Po?” Takeshi looks at Po with a worried expression in his eyes. He stares at Po as he begins to grow exponentially in size and shrink again at a fluctuating pace.

“Uhh…Po. Piss was a bad choice.”

“Why is that, Takeshi?” Po’s voice begins to slow down and deepen with every passing word.

“Uh oh.” Takeshi says as he slowly lifts his hand up and waves it around to see a trail lag behind his hand. As the trail slowly gets longer, the room starts to morph and melt into a multitude of colors. Po begins to turn into a nightmarish figure full of spurting orifices shooting various colored liquids. The glasses and bottles on the wall in front of them bend and contort as they seemingly dance and laugh along with the rest of the bar patrons.

“Ahhhh!” Takeshi screams out of discomfort. The bartender, alarmed by the sudden shouting, walks quickly over to the two and looks at Takeshi’s face. His eyes have been seemingly taken over by his pupils as not a single speck of gold shown through. The bartender says with excitement, “Uh oh, looks like your friend is tripping balls now. Hey, you listening, kid?” the bartender places a hand on Po’s shoulder and starts to shake vigorously. Po’s pupils widen and take over his gold and silver eyes, turning them black.

“Ah, Pugh.” The bartender begins as he takes his hand off of Po, whom is now lost in thought and hallucinations. “Well, nothing I can do for them now. What about you, big guy?” He turns to Leon whom has finished his bucket of milk.

“More milk, please.” He says with the same boyish, milk-moustache smile. The bartender snickers to himself.

“Sure you can big guy. Sure you can.”

“T?”

“Po?” Takeshi and Po look at each other. To them, they both seem tangible and normal looking, but everything around them is alien and bizarre in concept. Their empty glasses melt and turn into clocks then melt again onto the floor where they make a loud noise.

*Shatter**Crash*

“Hey, you boys are paying for those!” the bartender says as he shakes a tentacle at the two. The tentacle seems to almost stretch out from across the bar and touch Takeshi on the nose.

“Woah, get that away from me!” Takeshi yells as he falls out of his barstool onto the ground. Nearby bar patrons turn around and laugh as they watch a squirming Takeshi.

“Don’t worry, T. I’ll save you from the octopus-man.” Po limply falls to the ground and gets on his knees to help Takeshi. Takeshi slaps Po’s hand away and rolls onto his stomach to look at a group of bar patron’s staring at him on the floor with curious and sheepish faces. Their bodies begin to morph into a myriad of mythical creatures; the longer Takeshi stared them down, the more prominent the creatures became. Takeshi suddenly jumps up to his feet as he shouts, “Oh fuck, you guys are some ugly mother fuckers.” He then proceeds to step back neurotically and then sprint to the bathrooms.

“Takeshi, don’t leave me here with these creatures.” Po shouts as he flops to his feet and drunkenly runs and falls into the same bathroom.

*Slam*

The door swings wide open as Po falls to the ground. He slowly gets back on his feet as he starts to call to Takeshi.

“Takeshi, where are we?” From a bathroom stall, sitting on a toilet, Takeshi yells out to Po,

“I think we’re in a fairy forest again. Oh no, they’re after us again, Po. The fairies!” Takeshi falls over as he knocks off the stall door and hits the floor. In reality, the bathroom is just an ordinary three stall bathroom with three stone sinks and a single mirror outstretched across the wall where the sinks are located. But in an instant, the bathroom contorts to magical, glowing trees that twist and turn all over the roof; the sinks form into tiny mountains; and the door turns into a mouth of an unusual creature.

“Do you hear that, T?” Po stumbles over to Takeshi, whom is still face down on the floor. The smell of urine wreaks havoc in the stall next to the two. Po picks up the stall door and throws it to the side as he then sits down on the toilet and places a hand on Takeshi’s back.

“You alright?”

“Yeah,” Takeshi begins while still remaining face down on the ground with one foot inside the toilet.

“I just need to rest a little.”

*Slam*

The creature’s mouth opens up again as the three demons from earlier come in with antipathy.

“Y’all mother fuckers ready to die?” The Demon in the middle shouts as they ready their swords, seemingly melting in their hands. The mouth closes behind them as they slowly approach the two. Their Goblin piss scented breath assaults the olfactory senses of everyone in the room.

“Man, Carl, you really need to brush your teeth or something, ‘cause your breath is horrendous.” One of the demons speaks as he fans the smell away from his face with a free hand. The Demon pauses again for a moment while cupping his mouth and breathing into his hand. “Wait…*sniff*…oh, it’s me…ph well.” The Demon shrugs it off and begins to walk slowly again to Takeshi: still flopping on the floor like a fish out of water.

“Oh shit, Po!” Takeshi swiftly gets into a crouched position and wraps an arm around Po. They both stand up in the stall slowly as they cling tenaciously to each other.

“Can’t we compromise?” Po shutters as he tries to control his shaking while staring at what he and Takeshi believe is a talking minotaur. The talking unicorn then says, “You pokey little flab biscuits are finished.” He points his floppy sword at Takeshi with killing intent.

“What,” Takeshi begins with a surprised expression as he lets go of Po and balls up his fists. Anger builds quickly as Takeshi starts to shake.

“You pokey little flab biscuits?” he draws his sword. “Oh, it’s on! Mother Fuckers!” As Takeshi stands with a triumphant pose, a loud over drawn noise escapes his bowels.

*Fart**Squirt*

“Aw,” The three demons begin to wince with the smell of the gas attacking their olfactory senses. “I think this flab biscuit just shit their pants in rage.” One of the demons says as he lowers his guard to talk to the other two. Takeshi suddenly appears within licking distance of the talking Demon and stabs him in the gut.

“Blargh!” the Demon shouts with anguish as he is lifted up into the air. The Demon gags on blood and his screams become muffled as he slides down the blade and his guts spill out onto the floor. The Demon ceases its flailing and soon hangs limply, and then is thrown from the blade onto the stone floor with a splatter sound echoing across the bathroom. The intestinal tract spreads across the floor with one of his Demon friends almost slipping on it.

“Take that minotaur!” Takeshi shouts as he flails his sword wildly while Po huddles in the fetal position under the stone sink while saying repeatedly, “Oh, Pugh. Oh, Pugh. Oh, Pugh.”

“Po!” Takeshi places a hand on the sink and looks down at Po. “There’s no need to fear, we’re both in good hands.”

“We’re tripping balls you—you…mother fuckest of fuckers!” Po shouts with anger straining his throat as he continues to huddle under the sink, all while he watches it melt around him.

*clang*

Takeshi blocks the oncoming sword of a Demon and smashes down onto the sink.

“Oh it’s on, you unicorn fuck!” Takeshi parries the Demon’s next sword swing, grabs his sword hand and stabs him in the gut and kicks him away. The Demon falls to the floor in pain as Takeshi blocks an oncoming knife thrown by the other Demon. The third Demon charges, but fails to connect; except when Takeshi forces him to drop his sword and grits his teeth on the sink.

*crunch*

Blood and teeth scatter all over Po as the sink starts to crack. Takeshi then repeats the movement of smashing the Demon’s face repeatedly until a chunk of the sink breaks off from the repeated impacts. Po scurries out from under the sink as the pieces fall onto the floor along with the deceased Demon with his face permanently ingrained into the sink. Blood drips and pools onto the bathroom floor. Silence finally falls over the destroyed bathroom’s broken stalls and bloody sinks. Takeshi wipes the blood off his hand and katana using his wet shirt and says,

“Looks like you won’t be breathing fire anytime soon, dragon.” He then turns his attention to the remaining Demon that was making his way towards the door as he clenches his stomach and dripping blood all over the stone bathroom floor.

“Unicorn!” Takeshi calls out as he points his katana at the last remaining Demon. The Demon turns around with fear in his eyes as he barely stands shaking while holding the doorknob and his stomach.

“You are free to go.” Takeshi lowers his sword as both he and Po watch as the Demon frantically runs out of the bathroom neurotically groaning. The door slowly closes again as it creaks shut.

“Ugh, I think I’m gonna lie down for a minute, Po.” Takeshi says with a yawn as he drunkenly walks over to the broken and now bloody stall, sits down on the toilet, and subsequently passes out. Po, with adrenaline filled anxiety leaving his body rapidly, also passes out on the bathroom floor. The room around them seems to bend and contort back into its normal places as they rest their bodies and minds with time passing by seamlessly. Takeshi opens his eyes to view the blurs of two people humping each other’s brains out. And then closes his eyes again. Another passage of time occurs before he opens his eyes again to witness the familiar face and body of Xavier saddled upon Takeshi’s lap. A warm, heavy weight nestles down onto his thighs, and an odd, soft bulge pokes at his stomach.

“I bet you weren’t expecting this shit now, were ya?” She whispers into Takeshi’s ear as his eyes widen out of sheer terror.

“Ahhhh!”

Takeshi’s scream echoes in the bathroom before he realizes that the drink has finally worn off. The stall door is broken off and lying on the floor. The bathroom sink is broken, and a Demon’s face buried into the stone masonry as the rest of its body hangs limply with a pool of blood surrounding it. Blood smears and splatters cover a good portion of the bathroom. Po is passed out on the floor with his robes pulled up to his neck and his ass exposed as it sticks up in the air. His entire being is smeared with feces and blood. Another Demon lies in a pool of blood and guts with a gaping wound going from his belly button all the way up to the nape of his neck. Takeshi looks at his clothes and realizes that he too is covered in blood and feces.

“Aw, it smells so bad in here!” Takeshi yells out in frustration as he stands up off the toilet. He walks over to Po and pushes him with his foot as Po suddenly wakes up in a fright. His back side lands in a pool of blood as an audible splashing sound forces Po to stand up in a hurry, but ends up slipping and falling regardless.

“Ah! Oh, my head.” Po says as he lies on the ground rubbing his forehead with a hand full of feces. He looks at his hand and then looks up at Takeshi with a grossly sudden realization.

“What hap-“

“Don’t ask.” Takeshi interrupts as he lifts a hand up towards Po and begins to carefully step around the Demon corpses, blood, and guts to exit the bathroom.

“Ugh, whose dookie is this?” Po blurts out in disgust as he lifts up his shit spackled robe for closer inspection.

The door creaks as Takeshi opens it, and the bartender stares him down as he roughly spit cleans a glass with a frown.

“Well, well,” The bartender begins as he sets down the glass and repositions his spectacles. His face scrunched with slight anger as a snarl sticks out of his big black beard.

“What?”

“You’re going to pay for all of this damage.”

“Listen,” Takeshi walks up to the bartender and places a hand on the bar. “I don’t even know what happened. Pugh, I don’t even know what time it is.”

“It’s almost dawn, and you owe me a lot.” The bartender states as he leans on the bar with anger.

“What happened?” Takeshi inquires.

“Well you broke two of my glasses and then pissed off a few of my returning customers. Then you proceed to break one of the stalls, and promptly kill two of said customers. You redecorated one of my sinks with one of their bodies and broke that too. Also Leon bought two more buckets of milk.”

“Damn,” Takeshi begins as he slaps his forehead. “How much milk can that guy drink?”

“You owe me five hundred and fifty gp; that’s with all of the repairs and cleaning fees.”

“What? I don’t have that kind of money.” Takeshi says as he slaps the bar with his palms. The bartender begins to smirk with a devilish grin.

“Well then, there is only one option you have left.” Takeshi’s eye brows change into that of antipathy.

“What?” Takeshi finally says after a brief pause.

“You become a sex slave under my jurisdiction, and work for a few years in my backroom.” The bartender guides Takeshi towards the backroom door as he slowly opens it up. Once opened, people of all species were seen doing manual labor as they cleaned dishes, prepared food, repaired furniture, fulfilling sexual desires of bar patrons, and so on. The bartender slowly closes the door again as he continues to look upon Takeshi with a fixed sheepish gaze and crosses his arms.

“Well, what do you say? I’m just kidding. It’s not like you have a choice. I haven’t seen your face; with the mask and all, but I imagine people would pay top coinage for a rogue of your stature to fist their holes.”

Takeshi looks at the ground in frustrated contemplation, and then in a brief moment, turns to a frightfully serious mood as his eyes burn with fiery rage.

“What’s the matter boy? You make up your mind yet?” the bartender says after the brief reprieve of silence. Then, before the bartender could even notice, Takeshi pulls out his katana and decapitates him with one swift and fluid motion. The blood sprays the bottles and wooden door behind him as his head hits the bar, breaking the spectacles, and bounces off onto the floor rolling out onto the bar room where everyone can spectate. Blood squirts out like a fountain from the neck of the bartender and the body plummets like a sack of meat onto the ground with a loud thud. Takeshi quickly puts his sword back in the sheath as he turns around to observe the dropped jaws and worried faces of the other bar patrons that witnessed the decapitation. Takeshi looks around with a serious gaze as Po walks out of the bathroom.

“Wha—what did you do!?” Po says neurotically astonished at the corpse of the headless bartender.

“Po!” Takeshi exclaims with anger stunting his voice. He then takes a moment to calm down as he closes his eyes and sighs loudly. He then looks back up and begins again. “Just…just go outside and take a bath in the ocean. And take Leon with you. Where ever he is.”

“Leon right here!” Leon suddenly appears from behind the backdoor as he accidentally breaks it in two.

*Smash*

“Oopsy.”

Takeshi sighs even louder as he pinches his nose and closes his eyes tightly.

“Go…Just go take a bath with Po, Leon.” Takeshi finally says after another brief yet seemingly lasting sigh.

“Okey dokey, Takeshi.” Leon and Po walk out together as the bar patrons continue to watch with mixed expressions of fear, worry, and confusion.

“Listen, you…mother fuckers!” Takeshi begins with a pointed finger sweeping the room as the bar patrons flinch from the sudden burst of frustration.

“No one speaks of this. You can have whatever you’d like from this bar. I don’t care; just don’t talk about this. Got it?” Takeshi finishes as he points around the bar room. Everyone shakes their head in agreement without saying a single word or moving a muscle. Takeshi then proceeds to walk outside the bar and catches up with the other two.

After a long trip, the three get a nice relaxing sunrise as they wash their clothes in the ocean, along with themselves. The docks in the early morning hours are nice and quiet, and people are few and far between. The auditory splashes of the waves slapping against the docks and sandy shore are the only sounds heard as they wash out distant conversations from passersby. The cold ocean waters are calm and soothing as the bright orange rays of the sun peak out from the distant, blue horizon to the east. The smell of fish, salty water and the very faint smell of burning hot coals rises up into their olfactory senses as they take a deep breath.

“Sigh…you know, T: This is the first time I’ve seen you without your mask on.” Po states as he gazes upon Takeshi, submerged in the water next to him by the wooden docks. Takeshi looks towards Po which reveals three huge scars running down the side of his face next to his golden eyes as they blend in with the sun’s rays branching off into the sky’s deep blue hue far off in the horizon. Po’s eyes widen as he continues to gaze at Takeshi’s face.

“Don’t get so close, Po.” Takeshi says as they both continue to soak in the ocean; rinsing their bodies off from the blood, piss, and fecal matter. Takeshi waves his arms back in forth in the water creating miniature waves as he submerges half his face back in the water. Leon surfaces in the distance ahead of the two and then quickly dives back in only to reveal his off white butt cheeks to the sun like a majestic, pale whale.

“Sorry.” Po continues to look on at Takeshi’s large scars on his face. Takeshi looks over at Po and then looks into the rising sun.

“Sorry for what? Witnessing Leon’s pale ass?”

“No, I meant: I’m sorry for staring.” Po apologetically says as he turns away to look off into the quickly dissipating dark blue sky off to the west.

“You want to know how I got these scars, don’t you, Po?” Takeshi finally states with a serious face. Po continues to look on as he nods in agreement.

“I got these scars from my training as a kid.”

Po opens his mouth to respond, but quickly draws back as Takeshi looks at him with a surprised expression contorting his face. Takeshi looks back at the rising sun and takes a moment before he sparks up the conversation again.

“Sigh…A long time ago; I was part of a clan called the Red Forest. I was their top disciple; regardless, we all had to perform what we called the Red Night. We…basically had to kill each other until only five were left. Their reasoning was that we couldn’t feed many soldiers with our dwindling crops.” Takeshi looks into the water with a sunken look in his eyes and face. He then looks back up with determination. “I survived, but I have multiple scars to remind me of who I once was.” Takeshi stops briefly as he lifts his hands out of the water and stares at them with a burning intensity. “I…killed my only brother with these hands that night. But he left me with one last gift to remember him.” Takeshi somberly says as he starts to trace three large claw scars going down the left side of his face with his hand. “Now I wear this scar and his headband as a way to remind me about the past. I honestly hate thinking about the past now, but it’s all water under the bridge.”

“Just like the scar on my thigh from you?” Po says after another drawn out pause forcing Takeshi to shoot a quizzical look at him while Po smiles back gracefully.

“What?”

“Well you gave me that scar on my thigh, just like your brother gave you that scar on your face.”

“Ah…Yeah, I guess it’s like that.” Takeshi continues to have a dark sunken look in his eyes before suddenly turning back into a more joyous mood in a split second.

“Now I have this cool scar of a lightning bolt going down my right shoulder from your bitch ass, as well.”

Po and Takeshi laugh loudly as they continue to wash the myriad of smells interloping their bodies. They both gaze back at the sunrise and, after another long drawn out moment, Po finally says, “Yeah, I guess you could say we left an impression when we first met.” Takeshi looks over at Po, whom has a cheesy grin on his face.

“That was bad. You need to work on those jokes, Po.” Another long silence passes as the two clean off and jump onto the pier. They both put back on their, now clean, clothes, and they continue to air dry. Po inquires Takeshi with an unusual question as the cold wind brushes up against their wet clothes; sending shivers down their spines, and the heat of the sun beating down on them; warming them up.

“Hey, T.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you believe in fate?”

“Hmm, not really.”

“Why not?”

“Well, if you think about it. If there was fate, nothing random would happen. Everything would be preplanned; including your own destiny. In reality, I think, the world is random. I mean, we managed to find someone fall out of the sky. And they turned out to be the strongest man we’ve ever met. If fate was a real thing, I’m sure we would have some sick and twisted future already planned for us.”

“Well,” Po begins. “How about another question to inquire: Do you think we’ll meet more strange people like Leon?” In the same moment as he finishes his question, the attention of both Takeshi and Po are captivated by the distant silhouette of Leon jumping high out of the water and arching its way back into the water in front of the distant sun. Leon gets closer and continues to weave in and out of the water like a dolphin buck ass nude. The splashes glitter in the orange light as the two continue to gaze at the weird magnificence of the overly ripped, stark-naked, Leon.

“I’m sure we will, Po. I’m sure we will.” Takeshi finally says as he places his mask back on.

“Hey, Takeshi?” Po begins again.

“Yeah, Po?”

“Why does my ass hurt so badly?” Po inquires as he gently rubes his butt cheeks.

“Yeah…I’m almost positive we both got molested by Xavier last night.” Takeshi states after stumbling for an alternative answer, but fails to do so.

“…oh.”

The two sit in awkward silence as they watch Leon continue his free form diving in the ocean water. After an hour of watching, and Po massaging his butt, the three of them head off to the shipyard; for which Takeshi has formulated a plan to get a ship to sail to the United Seafaring Nations.

“Ok, all we have to do is pose as sea captains, and take the ship out to sea preemptively?” Po says with a questioning gaze as he places a concerned hand under his chin. The three of them walk around the docks in hopes of finding a prime target for their act. The clangs from a distant blacksmith’s hammer are nearly drowned out by the now overly crowded docks, which are bustling with spice trades, humanoid selling, and fish harvesting.

“Well, of course, Po.” Takeshi begins as he throws his arms out to the side and behind his head as he continues taking outstretched steps forward. “We just need to find the right target, and not mess up our lines.”

“What lines?”

“Um…look I like to work on a more free form basis.”

“Takeshi,” Po grabs Takeshi’s shoulder as he halts their progress. They face each other in silence before Po begins again. “Why do you think this will work?” Takeshi raises a suspicious brow as he begins his retort.

“Po, when have I ever failed to convince someone?”

“Well,” Po begins to recall. “You’ve basically done nothing but malicious acts so-“

“Exactly.” Takeshi blurts out quickly as he interrupts Po’s train of thought. “There’s nothing to worry about then.”

“Takeshi!” Leon shouts with a hand raised in the air.

“Yes, Leon?” Takeshi turns towards Po with arms akimbo.

“Is this good idea?”

“Why, yes it is my burly friend.” Takeshi cheerfully pats Leon on his rock hard pectoral with the back of his hand as they all continue to walk down the docks scouting for a ship to steal.

“Okay!” Leon shouts gleefully as he continues to walk. They continue to walk with the odor of traded spices following along with them. Traders of all crafts and species are setting up shop on the docks to showcase their various wares.

“Woah, what species is that?” Po excitedly whispers to Takeshi as he points in a general direction of a shop and tugs on his shoulder. A very large wolf, standing on two long, hairy legs while wearing an apron around his thick dark grey fur, finishes hammering in a nail that holds up a sign reading, ‘Wolfie’s Chop Shop.’ He walks behind the counter and takes a single chicken out of the coup behind the table and grabs a bloody cleaver.

*Bagawk**Chop*

“Fresh chickens for sale. Come and get ‘em while they last.” The eager sounding wolf yells out to passing by pedestrians as they window shop.

“Oh, that’s a wolf-man from the country of Rouga. It’s pretty rare, but a few of them do venture out of their homeland.” Takeshi says as he gently slaps Po on the chest as they continue to walk and talk.

“There’s also the neighboring country of Ostland. They have Cow-folk, Bear-folk, Dog-folk, and ugh…I think cat-folk, but you normally don’t see a lot of them outside Ostland.” Takeshi continues to ramble on.

“Wow that’s so bizarre.” Po says with an astonished glow permeating out of his face as he looks up into the morning blue sky. “Is there any other animal-human hybrids out there?” Po turns to Takeshi with intrigue.

“Yes, there is, actually.” Takeshi begins. “There’s also a country bordering Ostland, called Mouzinel. They have all of the hybrids. They have official species names, but I only remember Kitsunes.”

“What’s a Kitsune?”

“Fox people.” Takeshi says in a monotone voice as he looks at Po with raised brows.

“Foxes are fluffy.” Leon cleverly adds in to the conversation.

“Ahh, I see.” Po puts his hand up to his chin as he looks at the dock’s wooden ground while walking alongside Takeshi and Leon. Then, suddenly, Takeshi stops as he puts a hand on Leon and Po’s shoulder.

“Look.” Takeshi gets behind Po and points a stiff finger over his shoulder. Po looks down sight and spots a Kitsune wearing a dark brown coat with a long rapier on his waist; complete with a pirate captain’s hat with a single white feather sticking out of the side. The Kitsune looks formidable and prideful as he stands tall with hands behind his back scanning the local populace.

“Woah, it’s a Kitsune.” Po says with amazement. Takeshi slaps Leon’s chest and puts a hand on their shoulders as he brings them into a huddle.

“Ok, I got a plan. Just follow my lead.”

“Is it a plan that’ll work this time?” Po says in a snarky tone as Takeshi looks at him with an unimpressed look in his eyes.

“Yes, if you shut up for five seconds, it’ll work.” Takeshi vigorously points at Po and begins to walk towards the Kitsune captain.

“Look who’s talking.” Po says in an attempt to jab at Takeshi as he walks along side. Takeshi says nothing as he focuses on his target and Leon soon follows behind. As they approach the Kitsune, they start to notice the cold, piercing set of eyes that he has. The dark red fur sticks out of his worn yellow undershirt. His gaze unhindered as he flicks his black tipped tail at flies buzzing behind him. When the three get into his sight, he moves his cold stare over to them as he watches their approach. Po starts to hum a little as he worryingly looks at Takeshi, whom still hasn’t broken his determined gaze as he stares back at the Kitsune.

“Are you the captain of this vessel?” Takeshi says with a booming voice while pointing vigorously at a very large frigate behind the Kitsune.

“Why, yes I am. And you are?” The Kitsune speaks with a very unimpressed tone and a flick of his red ears jutting out of two slits in the hat.

“I am your replacement. You have been reassigned to a different crew.” Takeshi says as he puts his arms akimbo.

“By whose orders?” the Kitsune states with a slightly annoyed lilt in his voice.

“The-the general. You know how he is with these assignments; speaking as a fellow captain.” Takeshi manages to blurt out as he seemingly snatches the words from the air.

“You’re a captain? Where’s your captains hat?” The Kitsune states with a quizzical look and a well-placed hand as he gestures up to Takeshi’s ninja mask. He flicks his tail stiffly and glares with ambivalence.

“And what’s with the mask?” He then states after a moment of silence.

“Well—you see…I shouldn’t tell you this, but I’m part of a top secret branch the general has recently outfitted to perform nautical missions, so I must hide my identity.” Takeshi gallantly states as he folds his arms behind his back and straightens up to mirror the Kitsune’s stance.

“Oh, I see.” The Kitsune breaks his cold stare and changes to one of intrigue and wonderment.

“Hm, yes-yes.” Takeshi says in an almost too humbled tone. “Well, I can’t say much about it, but my fellow lieutenants and I were assigned to your vessel and you are to report back to your superior.” Takeshi puts a hand behind his back as he gestures towards Leon and Po, whom have dumfounded expressions as they stare at Takeshi.

“Ah, I see.” The Kitsune says with a slightly depressed tone and posture. “Well, these things happen, I guess.” The Kitsune straightens up his stance and begins to take a step away from the three.

“Wait.” Takeshi haphazardly states as he reaches out to the Kitsune. “I’m sorry to do this to a fellow captain, but I must acquire your hat, as to not draw suspicion.” The Kitsune slowly takes off his hat, revealing a black streak of fur on the top of his head, and walks over to Takeshi with a defeated look upon his face. Before he hands him the hat, Takeshi begins again as he stutters.

”Uh-w-what’s your name, fellow captain?” The Kitsune looks up at him wide eyed and says, “I’m Captain Bishop of the First Legion.”

“You’ve done your country proud, Bishop. You are relieved, for the time being.” Takeshi says whole heartedly as he gently takes the captain’s hat.

“Thank you.” The Kitsune smiles and walks away with a spring in his step. As the Kitsune disappears into the distant crowd, Takeshi proudly puts on the captain’s hat over his ninja mask and looks gleefully at Po, whom raises an unimpressed brow.

“You are relieved? Was he going to piss himself?” Po states as he crosses his arms.

“It’s what *sigh* what military folks say to relieve them from their current—oh, whatever.” Takeshi says with slight annoyance, repositions his newly acquired captain’s hat, and begins again. “Let’s just get on board.”

“How altruistic of you…captain.” Po says after a brief moment with a sarcastic smile.

The three of them bounce up and down an extended piece of planked wood, almost giving way to their combined weight, as they walk up and onto the ship. The ship is a nice mahogany color and worn in areas, but sturdy. The shrouds shake and bounce as Demon sailors climb up and down to ready the ships sails for departure. The demons, of all shapes and sizes, work on various tasks around the ship. Some are seen rolling barrels onto a pulley to be lowered down to the supply deck. Some ready various cannons on both sides of the ship. And others are seen swabbing the deck with mops made of cloth.

“Captain on deck!” A Demon shouts as the crew perks up to look at the three, unknowingly fresh faced sailors.

“At ease. Continue readying the ship. We sail at noon.” Takeshi shouts with an unchanged, commanding voice while sweeping the air with a hand. Without hesitation, the crew continues to work on the ship. A single Demon walks up to the three.

“Excuse me sir, I am the quartermaster of this ship. Would you like me to show you around?” he says with a nervous tone and a hunched posture as the Demon, short in stature, looks up at the three and adjusts a pair of spectacles on his face.

“No need,” Takeshi begins waving a hand at the Demon quartermaster. “I’ve been on plenty of vessels such as this one. Isn’t that right, my lieutenants?” Takeshi looks over his shoulders at the two.

“Uh…yes.” Po states unenthusiastically.

“Yes, what?” Takeshi says with elicit eyes.

Po sighs loudly and crosses his arms. “Yes, sir.”

“Nope,” Leon says gladly as Takeshi and Po worryingly look at him.

“Leon scared of boats…” Leon’s eyes widen and his jaw drops from the sudden realization. But before he could scream, Takeshi jumps up and puts a hand over Leon’s mouth as he clings onto his shoulder with his other arm.

“Shh-sh-sh. Leon it’s O-K” Takeshi states as he giggles a little while looking at the Demon, whom has a concerned expression of confusion written on his face while he realigns his spectacles. Takeshi quickly jumps down and walks over towards the Demon quartermaster.

“Hehe…uh, my lieutenant over there is…how you say…not the sharpest dagger in the shop.” Takeshi says as he leans in closer and whispers the ill expression in the Demon’s ear. The Demon looks over Takeshi’s shoulder as he witnesses Po trying desperately to comfort Leon as he moves into a fetal position and starts to mumble uncontrollably while sucking on his thumb.

“It’s ok, Leon. It’s all good. Think happy thoughts.” Po nervously says to Leon as he rubs his burly shoulders. The Demon turns back to Takeshi and begins. “Ok…if you need me, sir, I’ll be near the bow of the ship.” Takeshi watches as the Demon quartermaster walks away in a hurry, and then refocuses on Leon.

“Leon, Leon. Look at me.” Takeshi starts in a soothing voice as he too begins to rub Leon’s muscular shoulders. Leon sniffs as he wipes away a tear and looks up at Takeshi with a despondent look in his eyes.

“Leon, the boat won’t hurt you. The boat is your friend. It keeps you out of the water.”

“But Leon good at swimming.” Takeshi continues to desperately cease Leon’s sobbing.

“Look, look, look,” Takeshi grabs Leon’s face and wipes away the tears with his sleeve.

“Don’t cry. I mean, look at you.” Leon begins to examine his muscular body in confusion. “You’re the strongest human alive. Nothing can hurt you. The boat is only an object. It’s a thing. It’s a-it’s...” Takeshi looks around the boat as he snaps his fingers, and then suddenly says, “It’s your friend. It’s the Friend-Ship.” Leon looks at Takeshi with that familiar childlike look of wonderment in his eyes.

“Friend-Ship?” Leon says with a sniffle.

“The Friend-Ship?” Po adds in with a snarky response and an unimpressed look drawn on his face.

“Yeah, see?” Takeshi wraps an arm around Leon as he points at one of the ships masts. Po looks with them as they witness the gentle breeze brushing up against the cloth sail while it is being lowered. The plain white sail dances in the wind and Leon’s face begins to brighten up with that familiar, cheerfully youthful smile.

“Ship is friend.” Leon states as he stands up and walks over to the mast.

“Yes, Leon. Ship is friend.” Po says with a half assed smile along with Takeshi as they both look onward at a joyfully renewed Leon.

“Leon love friend-Ship!” he happily shouts with a hardy hug as he flexes his muscular arms around the mast. The wooden mast creaks and groans the longer Leon embraces it.

“I hope he doesn’t hug it too hard.” Po says with the fake smile beginning to fade into that of worry.

“Don’t curse us,” Takeshi says as, he too, worryingly smiles at Po. “I’m sure he won’t break a large piece of wood like th-“

*Crunch*

The loud snap of the mast is heard throughout the boat with the other sailors looking at Leon with panicked faces. Takeshi turns to Po and stutters.

“W-well, I really hope that’s not the main sail.” They both look on at Leon as he, almost on cue, breaks the mast in half with a loud, almost cacophonous crack.

*Snap**Crash*

“The main sail!”

“Not the main sail!” the Demon sailors shout with heightened dread. The sailors start to panic as everyone runs around to avoid the falling mast. The mast quickly plummets to the ground and falls through a few of the decks. Wood splinters off and flies wildly around as Po shouts, “Let’s get the Pugh outta here.” The boat rocks back and forth from the force of the mast falling through, and distant onlookers on the dock halt their forward progress to investigate the horrors and screams of the demons on the collapsing ship.

“Leon,” Takeshi shouts as he waves desperately at him while Po lifts up his robe and flees off the ship. Leon turns around with a slightly confused expression as he scratches his blonde hair with a giant index finger.

“Let’s go.” Takeshi shouts even louder waving his hands to come closer as demons flail about in a panic around them.

“Okey dokey!” Leon goofily says with the same happy expression and they run off the ship far away from the mayhem they ensued. The three continue to run away. Takeshi; desperately holding his captain’s hat in place with one hand as Po continues to pant and hold up his robe to avoid tripping. Leon smiles gleefully, and his blonde hair flails wildly from the wind wisping by while they sprint at break neck speeds. They continue on as passersby look at them with raised eyebrows and pejorative looks.

“Look, another ship.” Takeshi shouts while pointing at the newly discovered frigate further down the docks.

“Let’s get on. Same routine?” Po says while panting loudly.

“Maybe not exactly, but yeah.” Takeshi states with amusement as they rush onto the ship and stop to catch their breath. They look around at another crew of demons while they look at them with confused expressions as they stop their preparation of the ship to ponder and stare.

“Sorry I’m late.” Takeshi states as he stands back up after catching his breath. “I’m Captain Takeshi Himura, and I’ll be commanding this vessel.”

“I’m lieutenant Po.”

“My name Leon.” Leon points to himself gleefully. Takeshi raises a hand up at Leon and turns back to the surprised crew. We will be leaving immediately, as to not waste time.” Takeshi states as he folds his arms behind his back while pacing back and forth to reassume his captain persona. The crew pauses briefly, then continue preparing the ship. After a few minutes of preparation, Takeshi walks up to the ship’s helm and firmly grasps it. Takeshi pauses as he looks back at Po and Leon with a glint in his eyes, and then turns back to shout at the crew.

“Ok, let’s head out.”

“But sir,” one of the demons begins as he pleads for Takeshi’s attention. “We haven’t even named the ship yet. It’s bad luck to not name a ship.”

“Fine, I dub thee the Shipping Vessel Friendship. Now, let’s get the fuck out of here.” Takeshi says without hesitation as he turns the ship’s wheel.

“Time to set off to the Seafaring Nations.” Po states as the Demon crew members shout with glee while they hoist up the anchor and start to drift away from the Beelzebub docks. They continue to drift farther and farther out to sea as Takeshi man’s the wheel. Po casually walks up to the helm and begins.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” Po inquires with a concerned, raised eyebrow while he casually leans on the railing. Takeshi looks at Po as he mirrors his raised eyebrow expression and turns back to smell the crisp ocean air wafting in the breeze. Takeshi takes a moment to witness the crew and themselves heading out to parts unknown. Takeshi looks at Leon, with his same boyish smile strewn across his face, and looks back at Po to dauntlessly say,

“It’s just the ocean, and the Seafaring Nation is only a few months away. How hard could it be?”