KIARA POV

I winds howl as the monsoon season is at its peak . With my legs stretched on the windowsill , a cup of hot chocolate in hand and the last match of India tour to England live on television , commentary blaring throughout the house.

" What a phenomenal shot . Arjun malhotra is in lethal form "

" He seems to a ticking bomb this series "

" A bouncer ! He looks deadly right now "

" He has been looking like that for the whole series now . Looks like it won't end well for the hosting country"

A faint smile breaks on my face as I hear the loud cheers of the crowd. Arjun has definitely hit a six . This is just the same as the last match or I can safely say for the whole series. Arjun has picked up fight with the opposite team players , he was known to be aggressive but I knew what might have triggered him to such an extent . It is me . Arjun has scored 5 centuries in the tour. It's either a century or he goes back for 7 - 15 runs .

I do not know how to explain the predicament I have been for past month . A whole month and 2 weeks have gone and it feels it is perpetual . A sardonic laugh bursts out me , I have no right to claim anything that goes down in his life . I am not a significant part of his life , not anymore. Not after I mocked his emotions , not after he shared his lowest moments of his life with me only for me to blame his immaculate feelings.

For once I did not even think that all this time I take myself to be abondoned , my own parents left me but he was all alone too . Even after he got a second chance at life , he was again left to be on is own . I was so blindsided with my own self that not even once tried to contemplate that he has felt the same ; all his life . Not once I tried to trust the man , not even once !

After everything I did he cared and his eyes shone with sadness, determination , hope , love . Whenever I sit alone to think , I feel my own negatives have taken a full control of my soul that I choose to be blind , to not to be rescued . I time and again thought I was ready to leave that life behind , take a leap but I was adamant on not leaving that gloomy life . I kept myself from the happiness that could come my way for a long time . I am a fool ! Was his life not problematic ? He dared to get attached to someone , he tried to love someone again but I did not regard him . I cannot imagine how it must have felt that once again in his life he braved to find someone to confide into only to be laughed upon , made a joke out of his feelings .

The realisation downed me into so much guilt that I cannot show my face to him again , not that he would want to see me now . He was happy to oblige my request of not seeing him again just for the sake of my happiness!

My half heart constrict just thinking about it because the half of it went away with him . A small piece of me says he promised , he promised to come back to me . He said he would always come back to me .

" I Love you . I can't cann even wonder what it would life be like without you , it's slow death . Please come back " A sob breaks out of me as I look up in the night sky , praying to God .

" Another one for the Indian batsman . He is a match winner. Any target seems insignificant in front of him , such raw talent and skills .

He made batting look so easy , happy to not be a bowler in today's time . You can't stop that lad "

I stand and turn to look at the screen zoomed on Arjun as he stands in middle of the batting crease with his bat in between in thighs , helmet on the bat handle , gloves tucked under his arms as he shuffles his hair which are damp from the sweat . The whole team comes onto the ground , hugging him and patting him on his back which he responds with a smile which fades as soon as it appears. The smile so long to see . The anchor calls him for some presentation . He leisurely walks to the anchor.

" You were magnificent tonight . How does it feel to win big for the team ? "

" Um.. when you get into the filed there is one thing in your mind is to do the best you can and get another win under the belt . I am happy the weather was in our favour , it feels great . Yeah . " He looks every bit of a professional cricketer , someone untouchable . Funny I never felt like whenever I was with him nor did he behave like one . He was Arjun , just Arjun .

" India had the series captured but the monumental target might have been an hurdle for the last game ? "

" Big targets keeps the exhilaration going . In today's cricket , no target is impossible . The game is fast and there is no another alternative than scoring big or going home empty handed . Big targets gives you a pressure but to overcome and chase it gives you an immense satisfaction and confidence for big tournaments . "

" There has been alot of talks about your aggressive batting in the tour . You were always this fast batsman but it feels this time you were always on an edge ? "

I take a step forward to get closer to the screen . My heart waits in anticipation what he might say . Arjun looks down on the ground , shakes his head and smiles , a wary smile .

" I had something on my mind . I guess I channelised my anger and disappointment on the field while batting and I guess it did work out well in the end . "

For a second he looks into the camera and our eyes meet through the screen . Is was like he knows I am watching and the guilt burdens me . He is angry at me !

" Some of us have been there . We are sportsman and what better place to channelised your emotions into a good play . I wish you all best and hope that something or rather someone which I say with experience is responsible for it , I wish you solve it together ."

" That is not happening " Arjun's laugh is humourless .

My heart crumbled more as his words ring in my ears , not happening . What else did I expect ? I broke his heart , trust and moreover hope . The hope to confide into someone , hope to love someone , hope that not everyone leaves .

" I won't let that happen ! " I scoff.

" I love you..."

" I love you so much Arjun "

" Come back fast please "

" I am a coward but I trust you with my life "

" I don't want to live without now , never "

" I love you "

I hold my hand adorned with bracelet, our initials.

This is a battle worth fighting , a battle I would not lose . I am all in this time .

I lazily walk into my home and drop on the couch . As soon as I am in comfort of my living room the tears start forming . It has been like that since that night weeks ago , 2- 3 God knows how much time has passed .

I go to court every day and do my work like nothing had happened but as soon as I step into my cocoon my emotions soar. I engage myself in a mount to work to keep myself distracted and so far it has not worked well .

I plan a grand menu just for me for tonight's dinner . I gave holidays to my house help so I have more work to look forward to .I sit at the dining table as the doorbell goes off. My forehead wrinkles , who could it be ?

I open the door to find karn looking into his phone and loud cheers can he heard frommm it .

" Karnn... Uhh ... What happened ? "

Karn has been talking to me like nothing happened between Arjun and I . He does not know the whole details nor does he wants to . He says as I quote , " It's your personal matter . I do not want to have any say or sides because you have to sort it out . "

" Does it has something to do with you ? " He turns the screen for me to look . Arjun is head to head with some player and by the looks of it , an opposite team player . Oh ! He looks furious .

" What is he doing ? " I certainly do not hear but the profanities coming out of his mouth could easily be made out by the movement of his lips .

" Heck ! I don't know . " He comes into the living room and turns on the TV and set it on the sports channel.

" He has been like this for the last 2 matches . If a ball goes without a run being scored he loses his shit " Karn exasperates .

" Ohh . I mea.. mean it's good for the game. He is scoring runs " I try to calm him down but deep inside I know he might land in trouble for this behaviour .

" I guess . His teammates will have a talk with him , you can't keep a hostile environment on the field , it's just a game at the end of the day " with that he drops onto the couch .

" Do I smell something Chinese ? " His brows shoot up to the sky .

" Yes you do . What to have some ? I have extra . " A soft smile plays on my lips .

" Let's eat here while we watch the game . He is going to score a century " His eyes glue to the screen again and a happy smile stretches on his lips . He looks like someone who can't contain their happiness at his brother's achievements .I serve both of us and settle on to the couch .

" You have no idea how fast I drove . Imagine my horror when I saw him being totally losing his control on the field for the 3 time . " Karn shakes his head and I see the worry in his eyes .

" I take full credit for his behaviour . " I mumble softly mixing curries into my food .

" Hey ! Would you look at the better side of this . He is breaking so many records and I know it by my heart that you will mend these differences . " Karn pulls me into a side hug .

" How can you be so sure ? " I ask curiously .

" Have you seen your face from the past weeks or have you seen him . You two look like walking corpses and , this does not happen when some insignificant person walks out . I talk to him Kiara , he sounds far worse than dead . "

" I was wrong karn and even after I found out my mistake I jus.... Just could not make myself to accept it completely . I was ignorant ann.. and he was still there even after I broke him on so many levels . " Tears adorn the corner of my eyes.

" Don't cry on me please . I can't handle beautiful girls crying . " He rushes to keep his plate on the table and taps me on my head.

" I think I'm doing great " He says to himself.

" Affirmative . I feel good now . " I laugh and move to hug him .

" Oh God ! You too . For a second I thought you are immune to my charms . What say let's ditch him ? You have the richer and definitely more handsome brother " I move back and narrow my eyes at him as he gives me a boyish grin .

" Too far ? " He asks me innocently.

" Just a tad " I scrunch my nose and shake my head to which he laughs .

" Our food is getting cold , come " I break out of his arms .We watch the whole match together laughing , cheering and right now we sit as Arjun is two runs away form scoring a 100 , not to mention he looks deadly. He stands cross legged , bat standing on the ground and his one hand holding it as he reviews the ground. Me and karn sit on the edge of the couch , ready to jump anytime .

The first ball is what I got to know from karn is a bouncer , bowlers throw that to stop runs as it is very hard to hit . The ball goes above his head and he bends down otherwise it would hit him . He looks straight into the bowler's eyes .

" I have bashed you enough " Arjun says angrily.

" How come his voice is heard ? " I ask confused .

" There are mics in the stump . This guy is sledging him to make him lose his cool and let go of his wicket . " Karn says with a tone of anger in his voice .

On the next ball he hits it and runs . We both grip the couch in anticipation . He runs back but the screen zooms onto the fielder who throws the ball at the stumps . My mouth opens but Arjun dives into the line his body flat on ground .

" Is he.. ? "I do not even want to say that he got out .

" Nooooo " karn jumps up in excitement .

I look back at the screen . Arjun stands and dusts himself , removes his helmet and raises his bat in the air . As relaxing sigh comes out of me as I slouch back into the couch .

" India is winning this easily . I have no interest in this sport but I watch till Arjun plays . " He also sits on the couch , sipping his fresh orange juice .

" I think I was living in a hole . I did not know him , I never gave any regard to sports or any sport as a matter of fact . " I turn my head to look at him . Hearing this karn laughs loudly .

" No wonder he was smitten by you in the first meeting . "

" I was not at impressed with him . He was late to his own hearing . " I show my disbelief by flinging my hands in the air .

" When is he coming back ? " I ask .

" They have some more ODI matches then there are t20 series , tests . He is going to be there for 45 days or maybe some more " He shrugs .

" Do you think he would meet me ? "

" Trust me , he would be dying to see you . " Arjun grabs my shoulder in a motivating way .

" But Kiara , do not go to him unless you are ready to embrace him completely . I did not pick any sides but that does not change my loyalties to him . I cannot see him breaking down again . "

" I never tried to open my eyes to anyone other than me , I never wanted to understand that he was like me . "

" Now you know . You met under the world's worst circumstances , no relationship is perfect . I am happy whatever that had happened right at the beginning . You both go in without any baggages or guilt . "

" Thank you for your support . " I smile softly at him .

" Remember what I said . You have time , think about everything you want , what's stopping you , then start something that would mean the world to you because I know you mean the world to him "

" I will never forget "

" I will win you over "

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HELLO . I KNOW THIS IS A SHORT CHAPTER BUT IT TAKES YOU ON A EMOTIONAL RIDE AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO THE STORY AT THIS STAGE .

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