I feel like I’m holding on more to a wish than to a hope. - Felicity’s Journal, April 1

Pre-dawn, March 23

Felicity had made the ten-hour trip into the middle of the Wyoming wilderness by the time Jase finally called her again. After her impromptu decision to accept his help, she continued through the flat and empty Wyoming prairie, driving into the early morning. The monotony lulled her senses. She needed sleep.

Though Jase had asked her where he could meet her, she really hadn't even known where she was. “Look, all I know is that I'm on I-25 somewhere in Wyoming. I just passed a sign that said 'Glendo State Park, 20 miles.” I don't know when the next major town will show up, so I'll just crash for the night in the first town I hit. We can talk tomorrow.”

He tried to argue with her, but Felicity knew that falling asleep at the wheel in the unpopulated flatlands of Wyoming would be disastrous. She had already seen enough disaster; she wouldn't push herself. So, she pulled sleepily into the Lakeside Hotel in Glendo, grateful that it remained open late enough for her to check in.

As Felicity undressed to shower, she wished she’d had the presence of mind to buy an extra set of clothes in Quido. She didn't relish the idea of putting her already-worn clothes back on, but Lakeside hotel was not the kind of establishment that provided a robe and slippers. It was nice enough that she didn't fear having prostitutes or drug dealers for neighbors, but it was very rustic and simple, albeit clean. They did provide cheap shampoo and soap, and Felicity spent several minutes letting the hot water stream evenly over her sore muscles, washing her hair thoroughly several times to remove all the sand and grit from the sandstorm two days before. She almost hated to leave the warm massage of the shower, but she abruptly felt exhausted. If she didn't lie down soon, she would collapse.

Reluctantly, she turned off the spigot and stepped out onto the bath mat, grabbing a scratchy towel from the nearby rack. She folded her jeans and left them sitting on the nightstand near her bed.

She thought about switching on the TV to lull her to sleep with mindless drivel but decided that she would rather have total quiet so she could hear if Perry came back. Though Jase had assured her that Perry worked for him, she remembered Perry's angry look from the store and decided that she didn't trust Jase’s recommendation enough to let Perry near her when she was by herself.

Of course, the silence grew eerie before sleep overtook her. As a result, Felicity's mind exaggerated every noise, filling them with meaning they did not possess. The subsequent adrenaline rushes prevented her falling into a peaceful slumber despite the physical exhaustion that overwhelmed her. Once or twice during the night, someone strode loudly past her room causing her to jerk awake with sudden fear. She sat up, covers pulled up around her, watching the handle to her door to see if it moved, watching the window for someone's prying eyes. Nothing materialized into real problems. Finally, about an hour before dawn, Felicity reached a state of fatigue that pulled her unwillingly into dreamless repose.

When she awoke several hours later, the sun streamed in at a steep angle. Looking at the clock, she realized that she had wasted almost half of the day making up for her sleepless night. 11 a.m. Nick, she remembered with chagrin. Nick would probably want to kill her if he found out she was still alive and hadn't called him yet. Scrounging on the bedside table, Felicity found the phone and swiped it open. Six missed calls! She hoped Nick hadn't yet called the police or FBI or something.

Scrolling to his number, she hit send. He answered on the first ring.

“What in the world have you been doing that you couldn't pick up the phone when I called?” he yelled into the phone not even waiting for her greeting.

“Hi, Nick.”

“Hi?” he continued his rant. “Do you know how close I came to calling the police? If Briel hadn't dissuaded me, I would have already filed a missing person's report!”

“Nick, I am so, so sorry. I really don't have any excuse except that I have been sleeping all day. It was a rough night.” Why is he still seeing Briel?

His anger turned to concern, “Did something else happen?”

“No,” she answered quickly. “No, I just couldn't sleep! Every noise sounded like a footstep. Every creak was a hand on my door. My brain couldn't rest until 5 or 6 this morning.” Felicity sighed.

Nick didn't respond immediately. Felicity knew him well enough to know that he either wanted to gather his ire before the attack or collect himself before letting her off the hook.

He chose the latter. “Lissie, I'm so sorry I freaked. You know I've been panicked.”

“I know. That's why I called you as soon as I woke up. I've only been awake for about two minutes.”

“I'm sure you needed sleep. I mean, you've been through hell.”

“Why did Briel talk you out of calling the police?”

Nick said nothing.

“Nick?”

“Lissie, I am trying to cling to reality in all of this, but really, things are beginning to get more and more unreal.”

Breathing deeply, Felicity readied herself for some equivocation. Still, she had to ask. “What are you talking about? What does this have to do with Briel?”

“Brendon hired Briel, ostensibly to protect you.”

Now it was Felicity's turn to be silent. She didn’t have energy to drag things out of her brother. As far as Falicity was concerned, Briel’s purpose had been to prepare and manage the “target.” Keeping her around, whether she posed an immediate threat to Nick or not, seemed like a horrible idea. Still, without going through every detail, she didn’t know how to convince her brother.

“I don't know why Brendon really hired her, but Lissie, Briel wants to help you. She mostly did intelligence gathering for him, but she's amazing at physical protection, too. You just need to tell her where you are.”

“Um, Nick?” Felicity contemplated how she could make him back off. “I don't want Briel to come help me. Why would I ever trust someone who had worked for Brendon?”

“Listen, I've seen her credentials, I've been on the company intranet. Briel is legitimate; she’s freelance. Whatever Brendon hired her for, she wouldn't have involved herself in the crime aspect of his business. And she’s not convinced Brendon is involved in thise.” Company intranet? Not ProtoComm?

Felicity wasn't persuaded, but she redirected her little brother. “All the same, Nick, I haven't decided what I'm going to do, so I can't give you an answer yet. Let me think about it and get back to you.”

“Just don't think too long. I can't shake the feeling that the closer you get to Canada, the closer you are to peril. I think you're being stupid.”

Felicity was grateful that her brother didn't possess her husband's domineering characteristics because, as tired as she still felt, she didn't know how long she could have resisted his entreaties. Despite her exhaustion and fear, however, Felicity couldn't bring herself to return home. Her fearful journey north had become a kind of foolish quest for truth. Not knowing whom she could trust, not having any evidence to support her story, Felicity decided that she had to just trust herself and her own resourcefulness. If she had gone to the police that first day to have her blood tested for the drug, she would have some evidence, but she had been so overwhelmed, probably in shock. She could barely remember most of that day once she awoke in the back of the truck. Now it was up to her. She would find a solution if she didn't die first.

“I’m not going to Canada. I’m just driving, trying to keep moving while I come up with a plan. I have no doubt I will need your help before this is all over, okay? I love you. I promise I'll call you.” Felicity hung up the phone before Nick could protest. If she knew him, he would give her time before he called her back.

Still seated on the bed, Felicity let her head fall into her hands and tried to moderate her breath in a slow, easy rhythm. She actually had no plan at all. Jase hadn't called, and Felicity didn't know if she wanted him to. Certainly, Felicity couldn't trust him – her decision from last night now seemed foolish. He had at least been complicit in some of ProtoComm's crime, if she had interpreted his words correctly. Jase had sent Perry after her. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Was that to save her or to catch her? Felicity honestly had no idea.

A thunderous knock on the door sent Felicity's heart into spasms of fear. Glued to her bed, she didn't respond in any way. She heard at least two voices outside her window, discussing something in elevated tones.

“Mrs. Miller?” one of them called. “Mrs. Miller, this is Elliot from the front desk.”

Could she believe even him?

“Mrs. Miller, we've been trying to call you.”

Felicity glanced over at her phone. When she had arrived, Felicity remembered unplugging the hotel phone. Irrationally, she had been trying to ensure that no one called and woke her up.

Rather than answer the door immediately, Felicity tiptoed to the window and looked out. She recognized the teenager from the “Employee of the Month” photo. With him stood a man who appeared to be a janitor or facilities manager. The man had a ring of keys in his hand. She turned her back to the curtain, nervously biting her cuticles while she debated with herself.

“Mrs. Miller, if you don't answer the door, we're going to have to let ourselves in. We've been alerted that you might be in danger, and we want to make sure you're okay.”

Felicity turned back to the window and peeled away the corner of the curtain, revealing only her face.

“Give me just a minute!” Even if she had wanted to hide in her room with the door locked, she knew that Elliot could enter without her permission. She didn't really think baby-faced Elliot had any ulterior motive for his intrusion.

Leaning across the bed, she grabbed her jeans and rapidly pulled them on. Then, she raced quickly to the door to speak to the anxious Elliot.

“I'm sorry,” Felicity apologized as she cracked the door. “I was sleeping. I unplugged my phone.”

As Elliot took in the room, a sheepish look crossed his features.

He stared at the floor, “Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that the man on the phone said...”

Felicity rubbed her eyes and placed her hands on her temples as if trying to hold her head together. “A man called about me?” Felicity had no idea what to think. “Did he have an accent?” the picture of Perry intruded into her mind.

“Well, he kind of sounded like he was from the south.”

Jase? she wondered silently.

“He said he was a friend of yours and that he had been trying to reach you all morning. He said you were in danger.”

Felicity flipped open the phone she still held in her hand. She had assumed that the six missed calls had all come from Nick. Felicity pushed the call button and a list of all calls displayed on her screen. It showed one completed call from Nick, two missed calls from Nick, and four missed calls from a number she did not know.

“You can see I'm fine. Thanks for your concern.”

“If the man comes by? He said he was nearby and wanted to come check on you himself, but I thought I should probably check on you first. Should I tell him where you are?”

“No!” Felicity almost shouted. “No, please,” she stated, more subdued, pleading. “Um, I have his number. I'll just call him.”

“Okay, are you checking out today?” Elliot sounded hopeful.

“If I didn't miss the deadline...”

“No, I think it's okay considering...” his eyes avoided hers.

Felicity got the feeling that Elliot wanted her to leave, perhaps because small-town Wyoming didn't have a high tolerance for “danger.”

“I'll be out within the hour,” she assured him.

As he shut the door, Felicity looked down at her phone again. She had received only two calls yesterday: one from her brother and one from Jase. So, if the number that had called four times today matched the unknown number from yesterday, she could assume that Jase had called her cell phone and the hotel today. The only other option was that someone from ProtoComm had called her – Felicity shuddered at the thought.

She scrolled down the list and compared the number from the morning with the morning from the previous day. They matched. Felicity sighed in relief.

A gentle knock sent Felicity's pulse racing, but she forced herself to calm down. The manager, she assured herself. Strolling to the window, she glanced out as a precaution. Elliot did stand outside her door again with the janitor, but now Jase, as if materialized from her dream, stood facing the younger man and chiding him angrily.

“Did you even look inside her room?” he upbraided the poor clerk. “If something were wrong, she may not have been able to tell you.”

“She said she had been sleeping.”

“She said - someone could have been in her room threatening to hurt her if she asked for help.”

Jase's tone sounded dangerous, and Elliot's cowering posture stirred Felicity's compassion. Too many times, she had been on the receiving end of an irritated lecturer, and she could not stomach it at the moment.

Drawing a deep breath, Felicity opened the door to the startled faces of the three men.

“Jase, give it a rest!” she insisted, screwing up her face in consternation. “He's just a kid.”

“Felicity!” Jase gushed. He sounded like a child in the ice cream store who had just seen his favorite flavor.

Though Felicity had prepared herself to confront Jase, he allayed any plans she had made by rushing through the threshold of her hotel room and wrapping her in a tight hug. He laid his cheek on the top of her head, and her surprise froze her in place and rendered her speechless.

“Felicity, what's wrong?”

She stiffened and blinked and could do no more. Then her brain kicked in, and she began squirming to escape his grip.

“Let go of me!” she spewed at him. “Keep your hands off me!”

When she had extricated herself from Jase's arms, she looked beyond him. Elliot stood blinking, his mouth open, obviously completely at a loss as to what his role as manager required of him under these circumstances. Felicity took pity on him once again.

“I'm fine,” she insisted. “He's fine. You can go back to work now.

A grateful and relieved look softened the young man's face, and Felicity thought she heard him start to breathe again.

Thanking him, Felicity stood at the door, obviously waiting for Elliot to take her advice and return to his desk, which he did. She then turned her back to the open door, wheeling to face Jase.

“Typical,” he smirked, and something about the familiarity made her want to slap him.

“What exactly is that supposed to mean?” she gawked.

“Here you are, running for your life, and you're worried that I'm being too rough on the manager.” His voice softened, and he looked at his hands. “I'm sorry.” He glanced back at her, “I've just been so worried. As soon as we talked, I looked up Glendo and caught a flight to Cheyenne. I've been traveling all night. I'm just so relieved to see you.”

At his obvious emotion, Felicity tried to temper her irritation. “I appreciate your concern,” she hedged. “I do. But you come barging in here, all protective, as if you have a right to be. I don't know what you expected from me. A warm welcome? I just found out that my husband, a man I've known for years, has completely betrayed me. It's not like I'm going to just trust the first guy who offers to help me after that.”

A flash of some strong emotion flitted through Jase's eyes at the mention of her “husband,” but he only said, “I understand. I just couldn't believe that you would be st-, would decide to drive alone through a no-man's land. I had to come to you. You needed someone...” His voice lowered to almost a whisper, and he dropped his chin. “I just wanted to make sure you were safe.” Then he laughed as if at himself. “That you were okay.”

Though she tried to retain her fury, a small jolt of pleasure ran through her at the intensity of his tone. He followed the words with gently grasping her hand and pulling her farther into the room, reaching above her head to close the door. Whatever had happened, Jase seemed truly determined to keep her safe. Not that she would believe him, but just the possibility gave Felicity an almost imperceptible thrill – an odd sensation in her misery.

“I'm sorry I reacted so strongly,” she apologized, though with an air of reserve. “I just...I have to be honest with you, Jase.”

He raised his eyes to hers, and she forced the words out as coldly as she could manage under the circumstances.

“I don't trust you.”

Jase smiled a sad smile, “I don't blame you.”

“I don't trust anyone right now,” she explained. Except for Nick, she qualified to herself. “I don't have a plan, I don't know where to go, and I don't know what to do.”

“You can trust me.” His eyes spoke earnestness.

At the words, though, a laugh burst past her lips. “Jase, do you realize how ridiculous what you're saying sounds? A man who basically carried me to the car where I was abducted. You expect me to trust you just because you say I can?”

“No, no! That would be stupid. But I will prove that you can trust me. For starters, I risked a lot to stop you before the border.”

“So you say, though I guess I can never know, can I? Because I stopped myself. And if you were going to stop me, you sure were cutting it close.”

“I assure you; Perry is very good at his job. He would have stopped them.”

“Okay, Jase,” Felicity sighed. She had already made up her mind, though she wanted Jase to think her more conflicted than she really was. “I'll temporarily work under the assumption that you are trying to help me, seeing as I don't really have anywhere else to turn. That does not mean that I trust you. You simply know more than I do and might be able to give me information. Might have contacts I can use. I guess if you wanted to hurt me, you could already have done that pretty easily.”

Jase crossed gingerly to face her. He started to reach for her hand again, but obviously thought better of it, because he dropped both of his hands by his side. “I won't hurt you,” he gazed into her eyes. “And I will help you.” His eyes seemed to study something behind her as he thought. “And I understand why you can't trust me yet. It's not as if I can really tell you everything I know.”

Another pause, “Okay.” At least that's more honesty than I received from Brendon. “I assume you can tell me what we do now?”

At the word “we,” Jase grinned. He apparently hadn't expected her to accept his help - but she had. She realized Jase's directions might at any point be a ruse to cause her further harm, but he really didn't need a ruse at the moment. She was all alone in the middle of nowhere. No one knew exactly where she was, and he sat in her hotel room, conspicuously stronger and more experienced in intrigue than she. If he had wanted to hurt her, he could have. The clarity of the thought sent a sudden chill up her spine, but she pressed forward. She was desperate, and he was available.

“Of course,” he offered with a return to his usual cocky attitude. “We go back to Banff.”