《Eric the Unready》Chapter 8 - Waterboy

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Eric felt more confident in living than he had in long time. While the armor was uncomfortable, the axe was unwieldy, and his many wooden gourds were heavy and noisy, he actually felt somewhat prepared for action. Of course, he kept his head on a swivel keeping track of trees he could climb or brush he could duck into, but he estimated he chance of surviving the day well above 10%. He almost wanted to smile, as good as things were going. Knowing that a hawk could stoop on him and rip out his spine at any time, kept his happiness to relatively modest levels.

After a while, Eric approached the lake. Knowing the dangers of animals hiding in the bush, Eric wished for a spear thrower, sling, or just your everyday AR-15 to give him so peace of mind. Lacking that, Eric threw a couple of sticks into the weeds, just to scare away the animals. To his complete lack of surprise, he was again accosted by two “rabbits” who looked more interested in tearing off the flesh from his bones than searching for carrots. Having cultivated “One Axe to Rule them All”, Eric had boundless confidence… in the fact that he was going to get hurt again. Still, he couldn't continue without water as much blood and sweat he already extended. Some pieces of meat would go a long way as well, and none of the small snairs he had placed gained him anything. Eric swept his axe in front of him, protecting his body from another rabbit “superman” leap. The two rabbits showed their teeth as if sneering at him and started to circle him from opposite sides, using teamwork to take him down. With nothing to put at his back, Eric charged forward hoping to disable the first rabbit quickly. The rabbit showed its greater agility by ducking under Eric’s wild and panic fueled swing, while the other rabbit took the opportunity to pummel Eric’s back with its powerful legs. While the bone armor keep Eric from having his spine ripped out, it did little to stop the blows and cuts from accumulating rapidly.

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Eric rolled forward, using his greater bodyweight to smother the rabbit in front of him, who started to bit and kick as much as possible, Bleeding freely from his wounds, Eric dropped his axe and dug into his pocket. He opened his pocket knife one handed and stabbed the rabbit over and over until the blood ran thickly over the grass. All the while, the other rabbit bit and clawed at Eric’s back, making him come close to fainting from the pain. Picking up the axe once again, he turned on the remaining rabbit, who quickly fled into the bush.

Eric had no celebration, having been throughly beaten. He scavenged the dead rabbit and knife and slowly approached the pond. Using a little more common sense, he kept an eye out for snakes, or other animals. For all he knew there were poisonous plants, deadly fish, or some other horror awaiting him at the water’s edge.

Thankfully, none of his fears came true and he was able to fill his water bottle and gourds with the lake water safely, despite the sweet smell of blood dripping from himself and the rabbit.

After, he quickly skinned the rabbit, gutted it, and washed it with pond water to get rid of the scent of blood. As much as he wanted to eat it raw, Eric was afraid of parasites or other creepy crawlies, and was determined to char it black before devouring the rabbit.

Two hours later, Eric relaxed around his campfire, having washed his wounds with freshly boiled water, chewing slowly on badly charred rabbit meat. “This is the life!”

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