Warning: The following story contains many vulgar and offensive language. You have been warned! Proceed with caution.

Today, I got detention. You know how detention is always for students that have committed a mistake or inappropriate behavior? Well, I did it for a righteous cause. You heard me correctly! As a villain, I did something to make the world a better place.

Let me begin from the start. This morning I woke up five minutes before my alarm. I got up and felt really energized. It was just a good day for me you know! I brushed my teeth, had breakfast, and I even had time to jerk off! Walking to school was amazing! The weather was nice and the birds were singing. As I was enjoying the moment, I was thinking, the world is such a beautiful place! There is no need for villains anymore! I might as well just be a commoner!

I entered my first-period class and I had a great time with my friends. Then, my second-period class began. In class, we had group work in pairs of threes. The partners were assigned, and luckily for me, I was with my buddy Bob and a girl I have never seen before. Now to keep her identity safe, let’s call her M.

In case you didn’t know, I always give everyone a rating. It always starts at 100 and slowly decreases or increases based on the impression you leave on me. For M, it also began at 100. However, she was ugly, thus I took off 30 points. 70 points are still high in my books, 90% of the people I meet averages around to 50 points. Once the group work began, she started playing on her iPhone Z. She was lazy, thus minus 10 points. Now 60 points are still high in my books. Halfway through the class, Bob and I got stuck on a problem. Obviously, if it was something that is able to stump me, it must be hard. M came over and decided to assist us. Wow! Helping others in need! Plus 20! She now has the score of 80. I smiled kindly and said let’s try to figure out the problem.

That’s when everything went downhill. Now let me give you an example of how the conversation went between us. Let’s pretend there was a math question of 5 plus 9. Obviously, the answer is 14. However, M believed it was 10.

M- “Look J, the answer for 5 plus 9 is 10”

J – “Uh M? 5 + 9 is 14.”

M – “No it isn’t! Count with your fingers! 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10!”

Here I realized something important. M was retarded. I don’t’ understand why though. The school I entered is the best school in the country! I guess she used all her luck and somehow entered this school. I mean IDK how else someone as stupid as M can enter this school. She’s stupid and it’s a fact that can’t be denied. Minus 50. She fell down to a 30. However, as the kind Samaritan that I am, I decided to teach her.

J – “Uh M? What happened to 11. 12. 13. And 14?”

M – “Are you stupid J? You only have 10 fingers! Where are you getting these extra fingers!”

J – “Uh … why don’t you add your fingers and your toes so you can get a number larger than 10!”

M – “You must really be stupid J, how can toes be the same as fingers?”

Meanwhile, Bob just sits in the corner laughing his ass off.

J – “Uh M, how about using my fingers? Then we can get more than 10!”

M – “Ugh J, your fingers are so ugly! How dare you try to add up my fingers with yours! I don’t want my fingers to have any connections to yours!”

That’s when I lost it. Minus 200! The information age began as early as the year 2000. It’s almost the year 3000! I always thought as time progress, people get smarter. It has been 1,000 years! How are idiots like M still here! I thought I had to get rid of her. I mean who knows right. Her stupidity might actually be contagious! Then I popped off.

These were the exact lines and I yelled at her word for word.

J – “You stupid motherfucking bitch! I am here to educate you and trying to change you into a better person!” How the fuck is someone as retarded as you still alive!”

You know how people try to hold you back? Well, Bob and another classmate were trying to hold me back. You need to know, if they didn’t hold me back, I would have beaten the shit out of M.

J – “Let me go! I need to fucking kill her right now! She is spreading her stupidity all over us! She might cause the end of humanity!”

Next thing I knew, my mom came and the principal came. M was hiding in the corner crying like the little bitch she was. I swear she better not let me ever catch her alone.

I am sorry readers. I could not control my emotions. People like M is why we need villains. We need to remove these stupid ass inferior humans away from us so intelligent creatures like us can actually prosper.

From The Boy Who Is Still Grounded From Trying To Save Earth,

J